We Spanked God: Biblical Thoughts

By Mike Tovar

We didn't just spank God, we bloody crucified Him. Mike Tovar sees that same attitude posed toward children albeit behind closed doors. Mike was for years quietly engaged in jotting down funny and serious one-line biblical expressions for his own pleasure. Then, marrying late, as a new parent he learned by experience and then online that spanking doesn't exist in God's bible book. There was an old rule for knocking some sense into unruly young men. But since Jesus, God biblically appeals to a higher sense in us, to simply encourage young men to control themselves. Mike presents the facts on that and shares his unique one-line biblical thoughts now published for the first time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 1, 1900
• ISBN: 9781667873756

Book preview

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We Spanked God

Biblical Thoughts

Mike Tovar

ISBN (Print Edition): 978-1-66787-374-9

ISBN (eBook Edition): 978-1-66787-375-6

© 2022. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Living water is not drawn from a wishing well. (my first, while watching a well driller)

A man who calls his wife mother has mistaken her.

There’s no such thing as luck, only God’s providence.

Evolution cannot account for created beauty.

When push comes to shove, try pulling, per the little sign on the door.

Because we couldn’t laugh at ourselves, Jesus did it for us, and it brought him to tears.

Life isn’t hard; it’s death that’s hard; life is wonderful.

There may be life on other planets, but there’s death on this one, and Jesus is the answer.

As God is the God of all comfort, so a man’s beard should evidence that comfort, soft ‘n fluffy.

We live and we learn, if we want to.

Character counts, but does it add up ?

How can a bad man have a good day? ( I didn’t say I’m a bad boy, per the Cops show )!

The mystery of my story is in God’s history.

A lady is an older woman who has earned the distinction.

God’s light casts no shadow.

The god of forces bows to the God of all power.

Only mark God’s Word.

Decadence thinks it has another decade to waste

Are you watching your TV or is it watching you ?

Low esteem of others is the real problem.

Gratitude is one great attitude.

Leave it to God to decorate a tree.

Come to Christ for comfort.

God’s sign is in his design.

Meek out a living.

Jolly is not joyful.

Got it all figured eight, do’ya ?

Jonah had a whale of a time running from God.

Let Golgotha be your Rock of Gibraltar.

A wise man is an honest man.

Honesty isn’t the best policy, it’s the only policy.

A woman’s hair covering is quite the blanket statement.

Gambling on the alphabet is a mega mistake.

Man’s imagination is a perpetual commotion machine.

God’s heart is an eternal combustion engine.

If it takes Jesus’ blood to wash sin, then the problem isn’t dirt.

The poor have no food to eat that we know not of.

In the beginning, God wasn’t just getting started.

After God created Adam, he said to anybody listening, ‘Now, watch this’.

Hope to hear Jesus yell, ‘Supper’s ready; come and eat !’

The window of man’s soul needs washing.

God’s mystery steers the misty wind.

Jesus’ ‘Esther’ stands on the moon, is clothed with the sun, and is crowned with twelve stars.

Understanding the Godhead is easy as one, two, three.

Fervent prayer is short for effervescent supplication.

One thing’s for sure, mankind is not.

Where Satan leads, man will wallow.

Man lost his soul’s car key; call locksmith Jesus.

God created man upright (but he tends to slouch).

When you wash your brother’s feet, be sure to get between the toes.

The bible is alive and reads you like a book.

I may wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don’t have anything up it.

The bible has all the unfit news we don’t want printed.

The root of the word gimmick is gimme.

God’s tornado puts the straw I was grasping clean through the cross of Christ.

Asking for help is the best question.

Behind everything legal