Magic School America

By Dropout Magic School

Magic School America- The Script!

Comedy/Action/Paranormal/Script Form

Rahbeem Roth just got a job as the guidance counselor at America's first official "Magic School." Now he's helping all kinds of magical teenagers with some real-world problems--including a Black Power Demon Hunter...and a child star trying to resurrect his girlfriend from the dead...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Magic School Dropout
• Release date: Oct 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9791222019178

Book preview

Episode 1

Heart Breaker

INT. THE GREGORY SHOW — ON T.V.

The set of the TV Talk show GREGORY lights up with an upbeat musical number.

We see a smiling GREGORY, 50’s, salt and pepper hair, sitting on stage holding a manila envelope in his hands.

GREGORY

Okay! Our next guest is Jasmine. She’s been sleeping with a married man and is here to prove that he’s the father of her 18-month-old daughter, Pixieyeayah!

Sitting in a chair beside Gregory, JASMINE, white, 24 gets animated and starts telling it like it is to the audience.

JASMINE

Yeah, that’s right! Rahbeem’s a dead beat! He needs to take care of our baby!

The large monitor TV Screen behind Gregory displays a plump baby girl.

JASMINE

Yeah! That’s her! That’s my baby, look at ‘er! Ain’t she beautiful?

Gregory still smiling brightly as he turns back around.

GREGORY

Oooh, she’s fat!

Jasmine frowns.

GREGORY

Let’s bring out the man who might be the father of Fat Pat!

JASMINE

Her name is PIXIEYEAYAH–

GREGORY

FAT PAT! Rahbeem Roth, come on out here and let’s see if you are the father!

RAHBEEM ROTH, an overweight, 25-year-old black man, struts out. The audience starts booing and jeering.

Jasmine is on her feet, heckling him as soon as he appears.

JASMINE

BOOO!! That’s right, BOOO! Take care a yo’ baby!

RAHBEEM

Booooo to you too! That ain’t my baby! Look at that baby!

He angrily points at the monitor.

RAHBEEM

She don’t look nothing like me!

JASMINE

What you mean that ain’t your baby? Look how big her ass is! Who I had that BIG ASS baby with, if not YOU?

RAHBEEM

See what ya’ll don’t know is Jasmine comes from a whole family of PAGAN WITCHES.

SFX: The audience ohhh’s.

GREGORY

(Looks mystified)

Pagan witches?

RAHBEEM

Yeah! They into all kinds of dark magic, voodoo stuff! They all Spiritual-ist!

JASMINE

Why spirits gonna make my baby fat like that? That’s your GENES that made her fat! Spirits of yo’ fat ass DNA cells!

Jasmine and Rahbeem start arguing angrily in each other’s face.

The audience continues laughing and yelling, fully entertained by this.

JASMINE

If I know witchcraft, why yo’ ass ain’t a chicken right now? Huh? Why you ain’t a six piece?

RAHBEEM

All you do is think about food. That’s why that baby’s so big! Look at ‘er. LOOK! She tryna eat the little giraffes on her baby clothes!

The baby is on the screen chewing on the little giraffe print of her baby shirt.

Gregory finally stops laughing and holds up the envelope.

GREGORY

I have the results of the paternity test right here!

The audience starts clapping and cheering with anticipation.

Gregory opens the envelope with the results of the paternity test. Jasmine and Rahbeem keep yelling at each other.

RAHBEEM

Paternity test? You need to test that baby’s cholesterol. Jasmine be tryna fry her baby food!

JASMINE

You havin’ another one of your delirious dreams! A psychotic fit!

Gregory pulls the sheet of paper out of the envelope; he begins to read it.

GREGORY

Rahbeem...

SFX: Drum Roll.

GREGORY

You are the father !

Rahbeem jumps up and spins around angrily.

RAHBEEM

DAMN IT!

Jasmine jumps up and starts cheering and getting in his face.

JASMINE

Woooo!!! I told you!! I TOLD YOU!!

RAHBEEM

Well, I-if I’m the father then-

RAHBEEM

(A beat)