Stow Your Luggage When Dating: Practical Ways to Get Back into Dating While Putting Your Past Behind You to Have a Healthy, Vibrant, and Lasting Relationship

By Marlisse Testa

• Teaches practical ways to date, facing the challenges of today’s dating landscape
• Explains how to put the reader’s past behind them
• Offers tools to increase one’s self-confidence
• Educates readers on how to navigate modern technology when dating
• Outlines how to reset one’s mindset in a dating forum
• Appeals to any reader: all ages, genders, and sexual preferences

• Language: English
• Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
• Release date: Nov 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781631959028

Marlisse Testa

Marlisse Testa, L.M.H.C., has worked as a psychotherapist in Boca Raton, Florida for over 20 years. Certified in Nutritional and Integrative Medicine, Marlisse currently runs her own practice at Testa Counseling LLC as a qualified clinical supervisor and trauma-trained mental health professional. In addition to her counseling practice, she has previously conducted singles seminars and taught as an adjunct professor of Psychology. 

Book preview

Introduction

The Basics

If you are one of the millions of people out there who are single and looking for some clarity, I hope to give it to you today! The dating world is rapidly changing, and I am sure meeting people now is very different from the last time you were out there single and dating. Yes, it is confusing and exciting all at the same time. Welcome to the new dating world.

I’m not here to be your genie or your wing woman, but I can give you some tips and guidance to help you navigate the new dating jungle.

First, you need to be self-aware so you can figure out where you are and what your needs are at this time.

Second, you need to heal from your past and learn new methods for finding healthy relationships.

And third, you should have a good sense of who you are (selfworth) and what is important to you as far as friends, family, and hobbies and determine how you will use your new skills.

Stow Your Luggage When Dating is for anyone single and ready to get back out there and find a healthy partner. This is not a rule book or a black book. Each chapter will give you suggestions to use when dating and will explain why you may want to use them. You will make your decisions based on this information and what fits your life.

You may be recently divorced, separated, or just out of a short-term or long-term relationship. Maybe you took a year to soul search, and now, you are ready to get back on the horse. Maybe you have blocked out all emotions and feel numb or perhaps you threw yourself into your career. Now, you may be wanting more from and for your life. The question is: what do you want for your life at this moment? To date, to hook up, to have a causal relationship, or do you want something more serious?

This can be a tricky question. Even if you are ready for a serious relationship, you must reset your mindset. When dating, the long-term goal may be to find that one person, the one you want to spend your life with, but you won’t know who that person is until you find them. In the meantime, stay open to dating and riding the wave while you figure it out. Quite frankly, that’s the most honest you can be—to yourself and others. For those individuals who want to develop something faster or who want a finite response, I don’t believe it is possible at the very beginning.

Not only am I a psychotherapist with twenty years of experience assisting thousands of individuals like yourself in dating, but I am also an avid dater myself. I am on the same journey and use these techniques I’m going to share in the following chapters. The reason I emphasize healing from the past before moving forward in a new relationship is, without healing, many people get stuck. This is exactly what happened to me and many of my clients. Skipping the healing step led me to date the wrong people over and over