The Rebel Method - The Ultimate Guide to Managing Anxiety and Depression

By Wallace

Is putting everyone else's needs first beginning to really drain you?

Does every day feel like the same old burden?

Do you feel that life was not supposed to be like this and wish for something more?

The longer you stay in this state, the worse you'll feel. Vanessa often works with midlife wo

• Language: English
• Publisher: Known Publishing Ltd
• Release date: Oct 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781913717865

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.

– HELEN KELLER

Meet Theresa.

Theresa was flustered and hot as she arrived at my retreat. After a difficult and anxious journey to get to us, during which she nearly turned back and went home, she arrived at the retreat centre and literally fell through the door, shaking, emotional and in pieces.

She had got lost on her way to us, but somehow she had found the drive and energy to push through and keep going. She knew she needed help and that things desperately needed to change following a turn of events in her life. If she did not take that step, she could not see herself still being around in a year’s time, as she said to me. It had all become too much for her; living on a daily basis had become excruciatingly painful.

We gave Theresa a cup of tea. She sat down on one of the large sofas in a heap, a look of complete exhaustion on her face. The whole effort of the drive had left her depleted of any resources. Her face looked pale, anxiety was written through the tightness in her brow, and her eyes were devoid of any spark. This woman needed caring for, someone to nurture her back to safety and instil some hope. She needed someone to tell her that everything was going to be OK, because she had lost all sight of this notion.

This lady had a story to tell. She was a successful schoolteacher who felt that it was important to not bring any personal issues into work. In fact, she prided herself on her professionalism. Theresa saw vulnerability as a weakness and was always careful to make sure people thought well of her. The thought of people not liking her or viewing her as not doing a good, even perfect, job crippled her with anxiety.

The issue was that, ever since Theresa was a child, she had been given the role of carer. As an adult, this extended to her husband and children, the students she taught at school and her parents. When her husband got diagnosed with a bad stroke, it felt like the last straw. She felt she had never in life had the opportunity to do anything for herself. She felt quite resentful about this, and thoughts of caring responsibilities she had had as a child kept popping into her head, fuelling this feeling.

Theresa had been through some massive life changes recently, including some health problems of her own. She was desperate to have a good life but felt so set back by her husband’s illness. Her depression and anxiety took serious hold, and she also was experiencing powerful and overwhelming urges to run away from it all.

Since her husband’s diagnosis, she struggled to see a way forward and had found herself slipping into negative and obsessive thinking. She felt like her life had come to an end and that everything was completely hopeless.

She was finding herself avoiding going home as much as possible to avoid dealing with the situation there, which she was finding overwhelmingly difficult. She joined a gym and ended up just sitting in the car park or the café for hours just to avoid going home. She did not really know what she was avoiding but had this strong urge to just run away; her deepest desire was to have no responsibilities any more, as she felt she could not cope. She felt so guilty about these feelings and thoughts she was having.

Every day felt like a struggle, and the panic and anxiety attacks were getting worse. Sometimes she just found herself in a heap in tears on the floor when people weren’t around to see her in this state.

Theresa knew she needed to talk about things and how she was feeling but did not want to burden her friends and colleagues and was unsure whether she could trust them. She was also discovering that they were often not helpful and did not say what she felt she needed to hear. She felt that she was letting everyone down.

Theresa fluctuated between feelings of anger and guilt. These two feelings were tightly intertwined: often the angry feelings led to guilt for feeling angry and then back to anger at the situation she was in in her life. The anger resulted from her having to do everything for everyone else and the guilt for feeling resentful about