Memoirs of a Trophy Husband: It's All About How You K.I.S.S.

By Bryce Roberts

Everything in marriage is about how you K.I.S.S. Learn how to K.I.S.S. as I share the good, the bad, and wild side on ministry and marriage.

You may be a Trophy Husband IF:

• You live not for yourself but for Jesus
• You treat your wife better than you treat yourself
• You show your children God is real in how you live

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Nov 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9798887380667

Bryce Roberts

Bryce and his wife Autumn have been married for 15 years and have 4 wonderful children ranging from ages 5 to 13 who keep them on their toes! They live and minister on the Wind River Indian Reservation, which is arguably one of the most beautiful places in Wyoming. They love to spend as much time in the outdoors as possible hiking, kayaking, and overlanding (yes, this is a thing). Their family motto is to "adventure for the Lord," and they try to live this out every day while remembering to K.I.S.S as much as possible.

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Memoirs of

A Trophy Husband

By Bryce Roberts

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2022 by Bryce Roberts

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

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Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, Ca 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 979-8-88738-065-0

ISBN 979-8-88738-066-7 (ebook)

1

Trophy Husband

Trophy Husband.

This is not a term heard very often for men. Everyone knows about trophy wives who hang on the arms of their husbands as eye candy. They seem to be all over the place.

But Trophy Husbands? No, we don’t talk about them. But there are more of us than you think.

How do you know if you have met one? Well, there are many ways to know if you, or someone you know, is a Trophy Husband.

Is it our looks? My wife says I am quite handsome, but there is much more to it than that.

Is it our jobs, money, muscles, or even our awesome abilities at getting everything right? We all wish, right?!

I’ll get into the reality of being a Trophy Husband throughout these pages, but to start, I have come up with some standards to which you can compare yourself to if you want to see if you are a true Trophy Husband.

You may be a Trophy Husband IF:

You live, not for yourself, but for Jesus.

You treat your wife better than you treat yourself.

You show your children God is real in how you live life.

You do the dishes but leave the pans for weeks because they are too hard.

You do the laundry but don’t know how to use Spray and Wash.

You make lunch for your children and wife.

You start the car for your wife when it is cold, even when it is -20 (or -70 with the windchill!).

You make a competition out of everything.

You rule the grill and burn stuff.

You go adventuring with your kids.

You pray for your sex to be blessed by God.

You pray for your wife every day before she leaves

the house.

You give your best to your wife and kids, not your leftovers.

You protect your family spiritually.

You see the spiritual battle and fight the good fight.

Keep It Simple Servant-leader (K.I.S.S) (God #1, Wife #2, Kids #3 The Rest #4).

People just don’t know how to K.I.S.S. today and that is partly why their marriages fall apart.

We have all heard about the Keep It Simple Stupid saying, K.I.S.S. Well, in this book, since I’m not a fan of the stupid part, we are going to change it to Keep It Simple Servant-leader—now that is a K.I.S.S.!

But that is not all. The K.I.S.S. is two-fold. Every time you see it in this book, you have to kiss your significant other. If you can remember to Keep It Simple Servant-Leader (K.I.S.S.), then your marriage is on its way to brighter things.

So now the word K.I.S.S. has been read five times, so you should have stolen a kiss from your love six times. If he or she is not reading the book with you, then they will be wondering why they are receiving all the awesome random kisses (seven). Let’s make reading this book that much more fun >kiss<.

I think the first thing we need to know about Trophy Husbands is this: Trophy Husbands are not born; they are made.

Everyone is special and created by God, but it is when you let God make you new in mind, body, and spirit that you are a trophy. When you are a Trophy Husband, you live to serve others and give glory to God.

One thing the church of today needs to be better at is encouraging dads, husbands, and men who stay at home with their kids and those who work to be Trophy Husbands. Serving is leading, even though it doesn’t seem like it would be. Leading with a servant’s heart creates opportunities to live like Christ instead of the world.

We all know the Bible instructs us to take care of our families – and you should – but that doesn’t mean staying at home is not taking care of your family. When we serve our family, we are leading them to know and understand how Christ called people to live. The idea that men must work and the wife should stay home is not always the path the Lord has for people at all times in their life.

I love God with all my heart, I take care of my family, and I stay at home with my kids – sometimes for months, sometimes for years. I’m a Trophy Husband when I work and when I stay home if I lead by serving in all areas of my life! God has different stages for us at different times in our lives, and we must follow God and not man. God is wiser than man.

Trophy Husbands are not born, they are made.

Where God places you is where He wants you to be at that time. Peer pressure is everywhere, even in the church. It can be good at times, and it can be bad at times. The temptation is to make people serve us. Serving is far more powerful than we understand. Matthew 20:27-28 27; 23:11 says:

and whoever wants to be first must be your slave just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many…The greatest among you will be your servant.

These verses rock your world when it comes to understanding your role as a husband, father, friend, and Christian. The Trophy Husband life is a life of serving. When you serve, you grow your influence in the lives of people. An effective leader influences people to focus on others as they seek to make a difference in the world. Jesus wasn’t focused on Himself but on serving others doing the will of His Father in heaven.

So, to all the Trophy Husbands, whether you stay at home with your kids or you work all day to provide financial support, keep on shining. We find our value in Jesus and fulfilling the task that He gives us each and every day. There will be times when we have tasks that seem very unimportant, un-useful, or unnoticed. We often want our work to be seen and praised by others. It is the competitive nature in us to win. We desire for people to think highly of us.

We must understand that our competition and the battle we face may be our own ideas and expectations for ourselves. We may have created a trophy image for ourselves to live up to, even if as Christians, it has nothing to do with God’s plan or will for us.

Are you battling expectations and ideas you created?

When we follow God’s plan for us, it may not make sense. It may mean we feel like we are walking against everything we know or have been taught. At times, we will stand against the world, our friends, our family, and yes, even against people in the church.

You are God’s trophy first, then your wife’s, your children’s, and then the others.’ It is very tempting to try to live life in a different order, but that is just making false trophies in your life.

The world is not the same as it was 50 years ago or even twenty years ago. Sometimes the wife is who makes more money to support the family. Money is not everything, but it is a key part of our culture and being able to afford to live. As a husband, you may not make money, but there are many ways to take care of your family. Some of the ways I take care of mine are: working on the cars, taking care of the yard, working on the church building, shoveling the snow, doing the dishes, sweeping the floor, taking the kids to school, making lunches, grocery shopping, starting my wife’s car when it is cold, teaching my children to pray, and praying for my wife every day before she leaves the house.

I also make the effort to spend time with my kids every day, take my wife on dates, take out the trash, answer the door in the middle of the night, be the slayer of the midnight mouse, help people in need, make life-impacting decisions about ministry, spending money, and many other things. As a Trophy Husband, I try to live a life that will make my wife’s life one of peace, spiritual growth, happiness, and joy.

Each phase in life may look different and other opportunities will arise to be trophies. We need to realize that life is always changing, and we will find ourselves at different stages. So, we need to reevaluate what we do and how we do it. Always listen to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and pray constantly in all that you do so that you can move as the Lord tells you.

If this idea of service is lived out by only the husband or the wife, and the other spouse is always taking, then the marriage will only be half as good as it can be. Being a Trophy Husband or wife is seeing your spouse as a trophy.

God has given me my trophy wife, and when I see her as God created her, as an amazing gift and prize, then I see the trophy she is. When people care about their trophies, they take care of them and show them off. If they don’t care about their trophy, they put them away and hide them.

The question you need to ask yourself is this, What type of marriage/life do you have? Is it one that can be shown off by God to the world or should it be hidden in a box?

The great news is that today, you can choose to start living the trophy life in all areas, especially your marriage. Everyone can have a trophy marriage because the power of Christ is able to transform us from junk to hunk spiritually.

If as a church, family, or person, we think that taking care of a family is simply a husband going to work every day and making the money so his wife can take care of the kids and house, we are sending the wrong message to many fathers about what God wants from them as husbands and dads. You can work a job and be a Trophy Husband, and you can work at home and be a Trophy Husband. It is about living life to reflect God and raising a family to know and follow God.

There are many fathers who work a job but don’t take care of their family.

Taking care of a family is more than financial;

it is spiritual.

Sure, they may have money and things, but the family needs a spiritual leader who takes the time to be the number one godly example in their life. It is a lifestyle we create and improve as we grow in God. Trophies are what people