Transforming Relationships Through Belief Work

By Nicole Biondich and Mayline Robertson

Your life is a rich tapestry woven from the threads of relationships that your soul has been drawn to experience in order to learn many valuable lessons. Relationships are how you first create a sense of your own identity and how you heal wounded parts of yourself. Each relationship you encounter is a mirror of your strengths, your fears, and your weaknesses.

This workbook is designed to take you on a journey of getting to know yourself better through the relationships that you have attracted. The work you do here will further your understanding of the subconscious limiting beliefs you carry about relationships. Through the belief work tools in this book, you can create more connection, more harmony, and weave more unconditional love into the tapestry of all the relationships that are in your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765235058

Book preview

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1     New Methods to the Madness

Chapter 2     Healing Your Inner Child

Chapter 3     Healing The Relationship with Yourself

Chapter 4     Experiencing Your Highest Truth

Chapter 5     Expanding Your Relationship with God

Chapter 6     Eliminating the Barriers to Love

Chapter 7     Eliminating Pressure and Expectations in Relationships

Chapter 8     Exploring the Six Human Needs

Chapter 9     Expressing Vulnerability in Your Relationships

Chapter 10   The Art of Communication

Chapter 11   Evolving Through Friendships

Chapter 12   The Healing Dynamics of Parents and Children

Chapter 13   The Healing Dynamics of Families

Chapter 14   The Marriage Partnership

Chapter 15   Transforming Your Relationship with Money

Chapter 16   The Essentials of Sex and Intimacy

Chapter 17   Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Chapter 18   Rekindling the Romance

Chapter 19   Vanquishing the Ghosts of Past Relationships

Endnotes

About The Authors

Introduction

Your life is a rich tapestry woven from the threads of relationships your soul has been drawn to experience in order to learn important lessons. Relationships are how you first create a sense of your own identity. Each relationship you encounter is a mirror of your strengths, fears, and weaknesses.

All relationships, such as parent-child relationships, intimate lovers, and loving friendships all lead us to a more whole relationship with ourselves. They evolve and we evolve because of them.

If you are paying attention, you can see patterns in past relationships, patterns that have tried to teach you lessons on loving yourself or reminding you of what is important. Relationships are the toughest classroom our souls encounter in this life and there is no escaping them. We need all forms of relationships in order to thrive and become the best versions of ourselves.

Think of the relationships surrounding you right now and ask yourself, What kind of healing could my relationships be creating for me at this very moment? Are they happy, and comforting so that you can be your true authentic self, or do they leave you feeling frustrated, strained, exhausted, and drained? Chances are that you are having an array of these and other feelings about the many relationships in your life currently and from the past.

This workbook is designed to take you on a journey through multiple key relationships and the beliefs you may hold subconsciously affecting you. Our hope is that through the belief work tools in this book you can create more connection, more harmony, and weave more unconditional love into the tapestry of relationships that are in your life.

Chapter One

New Methods to

the Madness

There is no use trying, said Alice; "one

can’t believe impossible things."

I dare say you haven’t had much practice, said the

Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for

half an hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as

many as six impossible things before breakfast."

-Lewis Carroll

In our first book, Stepping into the Light: A Guide to Clearing Limiting Core Beliefs we explained how you can use muscle testing to check for beliefs you need to clear as well as to see if you have successfully adopted a positive new belief. We have added the segment on muscle testing here as a refresher.

Having the right tool for the job makes any task easier. With that in mind, we have developed a number of different tools for you to choose from. Simply select the clearing methods that resonate with you and leave the rest. You do not need to use all of them to be successful. Get creative and adopt a method to put your own personal spin on. After all, this is your journey, self-discovery is part of the fun.

Muscle Testing Yourself

Kinesiology and muscle testing is a simple way for anyone to access their Higher Self, or, in other words, their higher intuitive power or inner intuition. This powerful technique has been around since the 1930’s when chiropractor George Goodheart started using it in his practice. He did so to uncover energy blockages that were not necessarily related to structural challenges in the skeleton, but to muscle and energetic imbalances in the body. He found that the response of muscles to a statement could be used as a surrogate that provides information about the body’s energetic imbalances. Since then, muscle testing has become an alternative healing tool that can tap into the emotional, mental, and spiritual blocks in someone’s life.

Muscle testing is a natural, non-invasive diagnostic tool that allows you or someone else to ask your body yes or no questions regarding a myriad of things. It works with the idea that a positive association strengthens a muscle that is being used as a barometer of what is going on in the body. On the other hand, a negative thought, substance, or remembered experience will weaken a muscle used for testing (indicator muscle). For instance, many people will have an indicator muscle go weak if they think of a word that has bad connotations for them, such as Hitler. Bypassing the conscious mind, the muscle test can go straight to the subconscious and intuitive energy systems of the body, when done in combination with the tester accessing their Higher Self. We recommend the book Touch for Health: The Complete Edition (2005 spiral-bound edition) by John Thie and Matthew Thie to further understand muscle testing. With a little faith and practice, muscle testing can become a healing tool to help you in your personal journey.

Bradley Nelson, another chiropractor, in his book The Emotion Code, reveals how people can use self-testing methods to release trapped and toxic emotions that have settled within their bodies from past traumas and upsets. We reference Nelson’s book because of its simple description of self-testing methods that anyone can practice. Below are a few favorite self-testing techniques for you to experiment with to see which one or two works well for you to use to find limiting beliefs for the remainder of this book. As a reminder, we believe in the healing of clearing trapped emotions, but you can take your healing a step further by clearing limiting beliefs that are being triggered at the same time as you are having a strong emotional reaction. The belief associated with the emotion ultimately is what has caused the trapped emotion to be triggered and felt strongly.

Another well-known author, the late David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., mentions in his book Power vs Force some finer details of kinesiology. Hawkins explains that kinesiology is the intimate connection between mind and body, revealing that the mind ‘thinks’ with the body itself. Therefore, kinesiology, when used properly, can provide an avenue for the exploration of consciousness and the different dimensions of your unconscious that are difficult to fathom otherwise. Exploring the unconscious can reveal the many issues where imbalances occur between how the body and mind view experiences. Using kinesiology as a tool to tap into the subconscious not only provides access to the interconnected energy of the mind and body but also provides an easy access tool to explore and clear the subconscious of old stuck emotions and old thought forms and patterns in the form of limiting beliefs.

Disclaimer: Do not rely on muscle testing itself to determine whether you have an illness, food sensitivity, or other potentially serious condition. The information in this workbook is also not intended to replace medical attention from a qualified healthcare professional.

Simple Ways of Muscle Testing Yourself:

The O-ring Test

Press together the tip of your index finger and the tip of your thumb on your non-dominant hand, making an o. Saying a word that has a positive meaning for you, such as love or yes, use a finger of your dominant hand, with firm but not forceful pressure, to try to pull the o apart. You can practice using five index cards with five positive statements and five negative statements and self-testing after each. Keep an open mind about what the response will be, and note what word or words consistently fail to break the connection between the pressed index finger and thumb. Sense the opposite, subtle weakness of the thumb and index finger coming apart when saying a word that has a negative meaning for you, such as no’’ or hate. Once you practice a while and can consistently feel a difference, use those yes and no’’ triggers as baseline words that you start every muscle testing session with. Then try using other words or phrases and sensing their higher or lower energetic frequency and how it affects your body, as indicated by the outcomes of the O-ring test.

You can also consider using both hands in an O-ring position. Interlock the two o’s of your thumb and index finger of both hands. Try to pull apart when you say love or another positive word for you, and sense the strength of the muscles. Say a negative word, such as bitterness, and feel the weakness.

Single Finger Press

Rest the palm of one hand on a table so the hand is in a cupped position. Lifting only your index finger off the table, straighten it into the pointing position while your other fingers stay cupped on the table. Say a positive statement, such as My name is [insert true name], and press down firmly with the opposite hand, but not at full strength, on the lifted index finger to see if it stays in position. Then say a statement that is false, such as My name is Bob, and press again on the index finger. Do you notice that it has weakened? Use your baseline yes and no words or phrases to confirm what you’re sensing.

If you don’t have a clear sense of when the muscle test is strong versus weak with this approach, you can pull up instead of pressing down on the pointed index finger. Check to see whether the index finger stays firm and flat in relation to the table after hooking and pulling upward immediately after saying a positive word, such as yes. See if it stays strong compared to when you say no or another negative word. When you get the hang of it, try practicing true and false statements, such as I love to eat apples and I love to eat liver and onions. (if you dislike them), and notice the strength versus the weakness of each muscle test.

Sticky Finger Muscle Test

Using your thumb and middle finger on the same hand, rub your fingers together gently and notice the smoothness of the skin between your fingers. Sense the ease of friction between your fingers while saying the word yes or another positive word like love. Practice saying a positive statement such as I want to be well. then while gently rubbing your fingers together, notice the friction that increases while saying a negative statement such as I want to be sick. This is a simple way to test positive beliefs versus negative beliefs for yourself.

The Importance of Tapping in New Beliefs

The clearing process can leave an empty energetic space that must be filled. Tapping allows your body to get present with itself, allowing you to direct your subconscious mind to create new, positive beliefs. Adding the step of tapping in a life-affirming belief leaves you feeling more balanced after each belief work session. Otherwise, you can become very emotional. Extreme sadness, anger, and confusion can set in after a period of euphoria.

When you tap in a positive belief affirmation, which can be the positive aspect of the limiting belief, the process rewires your brain by creating new pathways. Over time as you clear beliefs, it will start to transform your outer life. For instance, you might use the affirmation, "Moving forward always happens with ease," or "Change equals growth.", These beliefs will impact how you react to change in the future.

The act of tapping helps to bypass your conscious mind so that you connect directly with your subconscious, reprogramming the new belief. It’s upgraded wiring for your brain.

Where to tap?

Tapping on your sternum is a good place for it is easy to reach and comfortable to do for long periods. You can also tap on your temple especially for beliefs regarding your mind. Many people like to tap alongside meridian points, such as the stomach meridian point under both eyes, and the liver meridian point located on the right side of your ribcage. It really does not matter where you tap as much as your intention matters. Tap with the intention of inserting a new belief. If it helps visualize typing in the new belief like you were typing in a sentence in a word document. Imagine the sentence or belief going right into your mind.

While you are tapping recite the new belief out loud so you get the benefit of auditory input as well. If this is difficult for you due to a hearing loss, simply saying the new belief in your head can produce the same result.

How long do I tap?

Sometimes our conscious minds have a hard time accepting a new belief. It may be required to keep tapping and repeating the new belief until you feel a rush or shift of energy. This energy can be very subtle. The more you work on tapping in new beliefs the more you will become tuned into it. Trust yourself above all. When you feel that a new belief has taken hold, trust you are right.

Balloon visualization

Imagine yourself standing outside, in one hand you hold a number of balloons. In the other a sharp pair of scissors. Each balloon represents a firmly held limiting belief. You have struggled with each of these beliefs for too long, but are resistant to releasing them. The wind picks up and pulls on the balloons. You feel the tension in the strings rubbing against your fingers. The more resistance you feel about releasing the belief (balloon) the harder the strings pull in your hand. When you are ready, take the scissors and cut the strings. Watch as your outdated beliefs float farther and farther away. Soon there is nothing but the blue sky and you standing with empty hands ready to grab hold of something better.

Emotional Residue

Emotional residue is the energy that is often leftover when you clear deeply held beliefs. Sometimes it’s a few trapped emotions underneath the belief. For example, if the limiting belief was, "love is suffering. Then you might have some pent-up grief behind it from holding that limiting belief that love is suffering all this time. The positive replacement belief would be, I know how to experience love free from suffering." Beliefs can cause an instant and oftentimes extremely strong emotional response such as crying or other reaction from purging deeply felt emotions held under the limiting belief. Sometimes those old emotions and beliefs have been trapped for many years. The intense emotional experiences you feel will clue you in that there is likely some residue that will need to be cleared along with the limiting beliefs. You can always muscle test for the precise emotion that is left. Check for emotions of grief, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, and sadness residue. If none of these ring true to you, use the first emotion that you think of and that is likely the residue you will need to clear. You can do so by using any of the clearing methods we have suggested.

The Subconscious

There is one force more powerful than free will and that is your unconscious mind. You simply use your deeply held belief instead of the examples we have provided. Check for other body organs and systems that are not accepting full healing by muscle testing. Often it is an organ or system that has caused you pain before such as your gallbladder. Even if the organ is no longer there the energy of it remains. Just like when people lose a limb some express being able to continue to feel it. Check for full acceptance of a new, positive belief affirmation, and include that organ or system when you tap in the new belief. For example: My tonsils or immune system fully accept that I am free to live a life filled with love. Of course, you have your own beliefs to include, but you get the idea!

Lastly, completely release all resistance to the new belief affirmations from every cell, organ, tissue, and system, and from all layers of your chakras. After which, release all outdated programming from the deeply held belief as well as the memory of it from all parts of your being.

The subconscious is where all information associated with experiences is recorded and stored, as well as stored knowledge (facts and ideas) and wisdom (discernment about how to approach situations). The subconscious contains memories from all experiences in which you were reactive, such as survival. Every subconscious memory is an incomplete experience that our soul has not fully understood. This has also been known as your shadow side because it houses negative emotions attached to incomplete stories and memories in the form of beliefs. All this information is programmed into the cellular memory of the physical body and DNA. Wisdom is gained as you see how your responses to life experiences play out. This assimilation process works well when the beliefs that become a part of you improve your positive connections with the world. However, it’s more common to develop beliefs that limit your options and don’t truly protect you. The subconscious is so intensely powerful that it won’t let go of a belief until you deliberately tell it to let go—and to replace it with a new, better command. Yes, surprisingly, the subconscious can be programmed to work the way you want it to, much like training a computer or a robot. Help comes in the form of events that serve as triggers to literally rattle out old hurt lodged in your subconscious while awakening related, outdated convictions and perceptions of what the experience meant.

Deliberately reprogramming your subconscious through belief work gives you the conscious power to change everything you are currently unhappy about. This holds the key to creating the life you truly want, and the relationships you have dreamed of, and allows you to get out of your own way.

Balancing the Chakras for Attracting

Healthy Relationships to Your Life

Let us help you understand how chakras relate to limiting beliefs. There are seven main chakras in the body. The seven chakras hold different types of limiting beliefs and those limiting beliefs affect those energy centers by causing blocks, interferences, and inconsistent levels of energy. Left unchecked, these energy blocks created by limiting beliefs may lead to illness in the organs, and body systems associated with each chakra, and they can especially interfere with your relationship with yourself and others.

To help you take good care of your chakras we want to talk to you about what each one is, where they are located, and what they are associated with within the body.

Seventh Chakra

As spiritual beings, experiencing the world in a physical form as humans, we connect to Spirit and our Higher Selves through an area above our head called the crown chakra. The crown chakra is a vortex of energy that begins just above the top center of the head. Like all other chakras, this vortex spins in a clockwise direction and extends with the base of the funnel on the body, and the funnel gets progressively wider as it extends away from the body.

The seventh chakra is associated with our personal connection to Divinity, universal life, and how we connect to others on a higher unity consciousness scale. This chakra is activated when you meditate or just through simple awareness during your daily life. In times when you don’t feel supported by this divine energy, your back and spine can act up and cause you discomfort. After all, your back is the physical structure that supports your whole body, the crown chakra is where you feel supported by collective and universal consciousness.

If you held beliefs from very early on that you were never supported by your family, by life, or the universe in general, the collection of these beliefs may have even shown up as chronic back pain or as an energy block in the meridian known as the governing meridian that runs through the spine.

Limiting beliefs of feeling unsupported in life directly affects the crown chakra and remains until you can address areas of your life such as faith, trust in Spirit, and unity consciousness. If you feel your personal connection to God is not as strong as you’d like, we would like to show you how to remove beliefs surrounding this chakra and add new, reaffirming beliefs to strengthen this energetic connection. For example, an affirming belief you could use to strengthen the crown chakra is: "I am fully supported by unity consciousness in all ways and in all of my daily actions."

The positive belief statements to align your seventh chakra are, I am supported. Here are a few for you to do to get you started:

I am supported by life.

I am supported by God/Divinity.

I am supported by the world.

The universe is supportive of my life and what I want to create.

I am trusting that all is in divine order and I surrender to the process of it unfolding.

Sixth Chakra

The sixth chakra, also called the brow chakra, sits in front of the forehead, just above where the eyebrows meet. This chakra contains the space that many call the third eye. We see this as a space that holds your perceptions, wisdom, clarity, intuition, and ability to absorb physical sunlight. It also houses your personal identity, such as seeing yourself as a teacher, lawyer, or however you want to be seen in the world. In healing this chakra, fine-tune personal beliefs related to personal perceptions such as, I see statements, and I perceive statements of how you see yourself in the world and how you perceive the world to be from the sixth chakra. On a physical level, this chakra is connected to glands of the endocrine system: the pineal gland, pituitary, thalamus, and hypothalamus. Limiting beliefs that would affect this chakra are those about how people view themselves, such as: I see myself as a bad mother, and I see myself as an ineffective healer. Our perceptions of other people and the world around us are formed and are expressed such as: I see the world as a safe place, "I see myself as a secure person, and I see myself separate from God." Or one would believe, "I see myself separate from others or I see myself unworthy of God or Love."

To open the third eye or develop your intuition more fully, replacing limiting beliefs with positive affirmations that start with "I see" is important in healing this chakra.

Positive belief affirmations to align your sixth chakra are, I see beliefs. Here are a few for you to try:

I see myself in clarity.

I see myself aligned with my higher purpose.

I see the world and people in clarity.

I see my relationship with my partner as peaceful and loving.

I see all my relationships working in perfect harmony for my healing.

Fifth Chakra

The fifth, or communication, chakra, is centered around the throat area. This vortex of energy is energetically connected to your larynx, voice box, thyroid, and parathyroid glands. It is the channel of expression for the whole body and allows energy from the heart to travel through it.

When the throat chakra develops a block, it can be difficult to express how you think and feel to others. Fear of judgment is often what causes the energy of these chakras to become heavy. When throat energy is free to flow without hindrance, you’ll feel able to have a voice and to speak your personal truth as part of the all-important task of being your authentic self.

The belief statement to improve the throat chakra is I speak. "I can speak and freely express my truth in all forms of communication" and "I feel safe speaking my truth to those in authority. The limiting beliefs that would hinder the throat chakra would be, I can’t speak my truth without fearing other people’s judgment," or It is not safe to express my truth without fear.

Positive belief affirmations to align your fifth chakra are, I speak beliefs. Try these to get you started:

I speak my mind and feel safe doing so.

I easily communicate my needs in my relationship.

I voice my thoughts and opinions to my partner with confidence.

I easily convey my needs and desires to my partner.

I know how to verbalize my truth to the world.

I fully voice my truth to the world.

Fourth Chakra

The fourth chakra is the heart center of the body. It concerns itself with devotion, passion, unconditional love, and forgiveness of self, connection to the divine and others. The heart chakra is especially affected when there are blocking beliefs surrounding unforgiveness, hurt, and lack of connection.

Witnessing many energetic patterns, we’ve seen many ailments that are completely representative of what’s going on energetically and spiritually in a person’s emotional inner world and also what is going on in their outer world. The physical heart is responsible for the circulation of blood flow and oxygen. Without this essence of life, other organs would be blocked from receiving much-needed oxygen. The physical effects of this depleted life force could include: heart palpitations, high blood pressure, chest pain, left shoulder pain, and cholesterol issues, just to name a few. The emotional effects would be a lack of connections with others, over isolation, deep-seated sorrow, and hurt. Deeply seated limiting beliefs associated with the emotional heart chakra strangle much of what matters in life by reducing joy, connection, and happiness. This is a high-priority chakra that you can focus on any time you want to increase energy, express desire, and open yourself up to love and receive all aspects of love from Divinity, self, and others. Limiting beliefs such as, "I can’t forgive myself," "I can’t forgive others, or My heart is closed off because I’ve been hurt in the past, and It hurts too much to be open to love," all affect the heart chakra negatively. Beliefs such as these can truly physically affect the heart.

Positive belief affirmations to align your fifth chakra are, I am love or I am connected to others/God. Below are a few you can try:

I am in connection with all human consciousness.

I am a loving and forgiving person.

I am in my truth as a loving spiritual being.

I am in connection with my highest truth.

Connecting to others from my heart comes easily.

My heart is in connection with all of humanity, free from the walls of my mind.

Third Chakra

The third chakra is known as the solar plexus chakra. It occupies the upper abdomen, starting below the long, vertical bone called the sternum that connects the front of your ribs and extends toward your belly button. The solar plexus chakra is associated with creating growth, personal power, and the ability to expand yourself into the world.

On a physical level, this chakra is connected to all the organs responsible for digestion and assimilation, namely the pancreas, small intestine, stomach, spleen, liver, and gallbladder. Digestion takes most of our bodies’ energy. When your digestion is not working efficiently it could signal on a spiritual and emotional level that limiting beliefs concerning your personal empowerment will help relieve the energies congesting the digestive process. If you feel your digestive system is acting up, then ask: What things in life are zapping your personal power? Feeling worthy and staying firm in your own power can benefit this chakra.

The belief statement for this third chakra is "I am empowered or I have power over struggle. Life is a balance of power and it is this chakra that helps you to do just that. It is not only issues with people that affect this sense of power, but also your relationship with your own emotional state that can have power over you in the way that an addiction can. For instance, you may have limiting beliefs that: The frustration of my life has power over me or My fear of the world’s judgments has power over me" or "Despair has power over me, or My addiction to (smoking/drinking). (a repetitive emotion such as anxiety or fear) has power over me." To experience true empowerment within yourself in relation to all of life on all levels is to experience life fully. This empowerment allows you to not be thrown about and taken advantage of by people or situations.

Positive belief affirmations to align your third chakra are, I am empowered or I have power beliefs. Here are a few to try:

I have power over all my fears concerning relationships.

I am empowered as a spiritual being in a physical world.

My mind has power over my fears of not feeling good enough for the world.

I am empowered in my own self-worth.

I have power over my thoughts of insecurity out in the world.

Second Chakra

The second chakra, also known as the sacral chakra is located in the lower abdomen just a few inches below the navel. The sacral chakra connects to the organs of reproduction and to the kidneys. From this area flows enthusiasm, joy, connection to one’s own inner child, and the freedom to be creative. An individual with a healthy second chakra operates fearlessly in life, takes educated risks, and isn’t afraid to express themselves in their creativity and passions.

The belief statements for this chakra are: "I feel and I create." The limiting beliefs that affect this chakra are centered on self-worth, the fear of expressing your creativity, and of how the world will accept your creations. In the chakra, there could be fears of your owning your own identity and of what personal creations might emerge from the depths of yourself.

Limiting beliefs that people have with the second chakra include: "I feel afraid of who I am, I feel afraid to fail my own expectations," and I am insecure in my ability to create.

Positive belief affirmations on aligning your second chakra can start with: "I feel and I create" statements. Use the ones below to give you a place to start:

I feel I am secure.

I create and express my passions with ease and grace.

I feel I can connect with others intimately with ease and

effortlessness.

I feel safe in expressing my emotions and feelings with my loved ones.

I create my life with joy and passion.

First Chakra

The first chakra is the root chakra. It is primarily concerned with security, survival, stability, feeling safe, and being grounded in yourself. Physically it is connected to the pelvic floor, the last three vertebrae of the lower back, the legs, and feet, colon, and bladder.

When this chakra is imbalanced, this shows up physically as digestion and elimination symptoms, lower-back discomfort, and pelvic disorders. Emotionally, symptoms of the limiting beliefs would show up in you as deep-seated shame, anxiety disorders, nightmares, and an inability to feel safe and secure in the world around you. Some positive and affirming beliefs that would be used to replace limiting beliefs of the root chakra are: I am secure, I am safe in the world, I feel safe in my relationship, and I am materially secure.

Positive belief affirmations on aligning your first chakra are, I have or I am grounded beliefs. Here is a list of beliefs for you to work with:

I am grounded in my authentic self.

I have all that I need to fulfill my intentions for my purpose.

I have faith in myself and what I intend to do.

I have faith that the universe will provide for all that I need.

I am grounded in my faith and trust in myself as an extension of

divine energy.

I am grounded in love.

I release all shame about () now and forever.

I have the support of God/ the Universe.

I am grounded in security in all areas of my life.

I am secure in the new structure of my life that is unfolding.

Mirrored Self Meditation

All people you encounter whether family or friends are mirrors of yourself. At first, this may be difficult to accept, but if you really think about it, the people that cause you the most trouble are usually people you share similar traits with, or with whom your ego and mind have not yet become neutral. Keep an open mind as you navigate the following meditation.

Relax into a comfortable position. Focus on your breathing or any sound that is constant and soothing in your environment. Once free of irrelevant thoughts bring your attention to an individual that causes you some agitation. What feelings and thoughts come up? As you sit with the feelings, see a mirror appear before you. Notice the reflection you see is not your own, but that of the person you are focusing on. Just observe for a moment and continue to breathe in slow, even, deep breaths that completely relax you.

When you are ready, gaze into the reflection of this person. Your feelings about this individual are far away, too far to cause interruption. Ask yourself, What personality traits do I share or have I once shared with this person? Give an answer time to develop by bringing your attention back to your breath. The decide what beliefs are best dissolve the conflict between you and this person.

Since you already have the answers locked away in your subconscious all you have to do is relax enough to let those answers bubble to the surface. Each time you do this meditation new information will be uncovered.

When you can see yourself in another you learn to develop a better sense of understanding of what drives that person based on what drives you.

Unhealthy Attachment

At last, we come to the concept of attachment. All of the beliefs we hold we have become attached to, some more than others of course. To achieve fuller healing from your limiting beliefs you must clear your attachment to them. Before the start of each chapter tap in the following beliefs:

I am ready to let go of my attachment to certain beliefs.

I know how to live free from attachment to my limiting beliefs.

It is safe for me to release all attachments to my beliefs.

I completely release all attachments to these limiting beliefs on all levels.

Just four simple beliefs to add before you tackle a chapter. For those of you who have our first book feel free to go back and do the same for the beliefs you have already cleared.

Chapter Two

Healing Your

Inner Child

Let us liberate ourselves from any form of control.

Let us focus on the inner drum, where the rhythm

aligns with that of our heart. The measure of

responsibility equals the need for evolution. Just listen,

the inner child, let him whisper in your ear.

-Grigoris Deoudis

Your inner child is the echo of the child you once were. You have a unique history that helped to shape your young mind. You assigned meaning and truth about everything from the influence of your environment as you grew up. The behavior, beliefs, and rules of life imprinted on you by the significant people around you and became part of who you are. Your inner child has stored memories and beliefs that still impact your life today.

Some signs your inner child is wounded:

Low self-esteem, mood, and emotional imbalances, problems with boundaries that are too weak or too rigid can all be signs of a wounded inner child. Wearing masks such as being a rebel or an overachiever, commitment challenges and a general lack of trust in yourself and others are also good indicators that your inner child needs some healing. Dependencies, addictions, lack of genuine friends, obsessive and needy behavior, and being passive, or aggressive can be additional signposts that your inner child is asking for your help.

What can you do to help your wounded inner child?

You can learn how to see and rescue this wounded child who still lives deep inside you. You are the only person who you can guarantee never to leave you. Sometimes it is easier to feel compassion for other people than it is for yourself, rejecting the yearning of your inner child who has been calling out for you many times in not-so-subtle ways for your interest, attention, compassion, and love.

Prep work for all belief work:

My inner child releases all fear of answering questions.

My inner child releases all resistance to the answers and gives his/her subconscious mind permission to answer the questions.

My subconscious releases all forms of lying/defensiveness in order to protect itself.

My inner child releases all forms of denial in order to protect itself.

My subconscious releases all forms of self-denial in order to protect itself.

My mental body releases all forms of resistance to answering the questions.

My emotional body releases all forms of resistance.

My ego releases all forms of defensiveness in order to protect itself.

Limiting beliefs affecting the inner

child that you can clear:

My inner child needs to prove himself/herself in order to feel good enough.

My inner child hates himself/herself.

My inner child thinks he/she is ugly, stupid, weak, and unpopular.

My inner child can’t relate to others.

My inner child can’t relax because he/she is afraid all the time.

My inner child doesn’t enjoy his/her own company.

My inner child needs to overachieve in order to feel worthy/good enough.

My inner child needs to fit in at all costs.

My inner child uses fear of failure in order to protect itself.

My inner child uses fear of abandonment as a way to protect himself/herself.

My inner child uses doubt as a way to protect himself/herself.

My inner child uses detachment as armor against the world.

My inner child doesn’t believe he/she was supported by my parents/God/the world.

My inner child feels lost because of my confusion.

My inner child wants to sleep to avoid the pain of life.

My inner child must isolate himself/herself in order to avoid the pain of life.

My inner child lacks confidence in knowing what he/she wants.

My inner child does not know how to accept the good that life is offering.

My inner child is not able to trust anyone that he/she is close to.

My inner child is not able to trust his/ her own family.

My inner child doesn’t know how to trust.

My inner child is incapable of trust.

My inner child does not trust God.

My inner child has no trust in the future.

My inner child believes that life is cruel and must protect himself/herself.

My inner child believes that life is unfair.

My inner child believes he/she has to battle life in order to win.

My inner child feels disconnected from the world.

My inner child’s mind and heart are disconnected because of inner confusion.

My inner child believes that he/she isn’t valued by others.

My inner child doesn’t know his/her own value.

Due to the trauma of her/his upbringing, my inner child feels unsafe most of the time.

My inner child believes his/her parents don’t love him/her.

Here are positive belief affirmations you

can tap in to heal your inner child:

My inner child deserves a life free from feeling limited.

My inner child is free from emotional toxicity and pain.

My inner child knows how to keep promises to himself/herself and others.

My inner child knows his/her own value.

My inner child knows the value of others.

My inner child knows the value of friendships and releases gossip as a means to fit in.

My inner child seeks out others for company and enjoyment.

My inner child is free from all fear of being noticed by others.

My inner child feels included by others.

My inner child feels comfortable being himself/herself around all others.

My inner child is comfortable being included in a group.

My inner child is comfortable talking to other people.

My inner child works well with others.

My inner child is comfortable being in the spotlight.

My inner child is comfortable with recognition.

My inner child is comfortable with the affection of others.

My inner child knows a life free from envy towards others.

My inner child is aware of his/her completeness.

My inner child is understanding and patient.

My inner child is free to be his/her authentic self.

My inner child is free to be silly and playful.

My inner child is free to experience joy, love, peace, and harmony.

My inner child is himself/herself in all situations and in all relationships.

Select from among the following limiting

beliefs to heal the abused inner child:

My inner child seeks out abusive situations in order to feel worthy/loved.

My inner child uses rage as armor against the world in order to feel safe.

My inner child uses silence as armor against the world.

My inner child uses defensiveness as its armor against the world.

My inner child uses isolation as armor against the world.

My inner child uses distraction as armor against the world.

My inner child protects itself through isolation.

My inner child protects itself by staying busy.

My inner child protects itself by withdrawing into a protective bubble.

My inner child protects itself through repression/suppression of emotions.

My inner child feels restricted in showing emotion.

My inner child is afraid of being intimate.

My inner child protects itself by being emotionally shut down.

My inner child avoids relationships in order to prevent feeling betrayed.

My inner child is fearful of being betrayed.

My inner child feels defeated by life.

My inner child uses indecision to protect himself/herself.

My inner child uses vagueness to protect himself/herself.

My inner child is evasive.

My inner child uses the ego to protect itself.

My inner child is mean to others as a way of feeling less worthless.

My inner child uses emotional detachment from loved ones as a way to protect himself /herself.

My inner child must be perfect in order to protect himself/herself.

My inner child hates/fears being exposed.

My inner child is afraid of being vulnerable.

My inner child feels ashamed.

My inner child can’t forgive himself/herself.

My inner child can’t forgive God/others.

My inner child fears the worst will happen because that’s all he/she knows.

My inner child feels tense because of future uncertainty.

My inner child feels lonely.

My inner child feels inferior.

My inner child feels entitled.

My inner child is distrustful of his/her environment.

My inner child distrusts others in my life.

I must abandon my inner child in order to survive.

My inner child only knows abandonment.

My inner child must be systematic in order to protect itself.

My inner child needs to be selfish in order to survive.

My inner child believes that he/she deserved to be abused.

My inner child is in denial that he/she was abused.

Positive beliefs you can tap in to further

heal the abused inner child:

My inner child is free from the memory of intimidation.

My inner child is free from the wounds of injustice.

My inner child can now experience life free from the fear of future injustice.

The heart of my inner child is aware of its complete healing.

The mind of my inner child is aware of its complete healing.

My inner child is whole and complete.

My inner child is a miracle.

My inner child sees himself/herself as a miracle.

My inner child has faith in himself/herself.

My inner child owns his/her own power and can now stop feeling fearful and insecure.

My inner child knows how to trust himself/herself and others.

My inner child is worthy of happiness.

My inner child is in harmony with its emotional heart.

My inner child is loved.

My inner child is free to give love and affection.

My inner child is in alignment with his/her higher self.

My inner child is completely aligned, mind, body, and soul.

My inner child is free from the memory of feeling manipulated.

My inner child is free from the memory of confusion.

My inner child knows a life free from self-punishment.

My inner child knows a life free from low self-esteem.

My inner child knows a life free from self-restraint.

My inner child knows a life free from disappointment/discouragement.

My inner child knows a life free from guilt/shame.

My inner child knows a life free from feeling forsaken by God.

My inner child knows a life free from all forms of abuse.

My inner child knows a life free from self-abuse.

My inner child knows a life free from sexual abuse.

My inner child knows a life free from physical abuse.

My inner child knows a life free from psychological abuse.

My inner child is willing to accept all the positive benefits of living a life free from abuse.

My inner child knows a life free from spiritual suicide.

My inner child wants to live free from the pain of abuse.

My inner child is free to explore intimacy in adult relationships.

My inner child is good enough.

My inner child is allowed to feel safe and secure in all situations.

My inner child is allowed to feel comforted in his/her environment.

My inner child is free from all addictive tendencies that she/he uses to escape emotional pain.

My inner child is free from all addictive patterns.

My inner child is free from the memory of distrust/hate.

My inner child is free from the memory of feeling betrayed by loved ones.

My inner child knows how to live free from the protection of staying detached.

It’s ok for my inner child to have healthy emotional attachments.

My inner child knows how to experience life free from carrying around secrets of shame.

My inner child knows a life free from self-sabotage.

My inner child knows a life free from negative thought patterns.

My inner child understands that he/she was abused free from denying it happened.

My inner child understands that he/she was manipulated and is healthy enough to move on in forgiveness.

Choose from among the following limiting

beliefs to clear about growing up too soon:

My inner child feels like he/she can never work hard enough to feel worthy.

My inner child does not know how to be a child.

My inner child does not know how to play and have fun.

My inner child was never allowed to play.

Play is impossible for my inner child.

My inner child has no ability to focus.

My inner child doesn’t have the ability to be consistent.

My inner child stays distracted in order to avoid feeling helpless.

My inner child is not allowed to make mistakes.

My inner child lacks faith in God, other people, and the future.

I am uncertain that my inner child is safe.

My inner child hates God for not allowing me to play.

My inner child will not accept love from anyone.

My inner child feels disappointed by life/others/God/family.

My inner child believes he/she is being punished by God.

My inner child believes that he/she deserves to be punished.

My inner child feels he/she has disappointed her family by not being more responsible.

My inner child is ashamed.

My inner child feels unsafe expressing himself/herself.

My inner child is in constant turmoil.

My inner child has lost his/her ability to love from the heart.

My inner child is suicidal.

My inner child has suicidal thought patterns.

My inner child wants to die rather than go on with the pain of living.

My inner child is hypersensitive.

My inner child worries about everything.

My inner child owns every mistake made by others in the past.

My inner child feels he/she must own all things that go wrong.

My inner child takes responsibility for things that are out of his/ her control.

My inner child is incapable of feeling loved by others.

My inner child is incapable of feeling love for others.

You can clear these limiting inner child

beliefs to heal separation from others:

My inner child is separated from love/God.

My inner child will never be able to express himself/herself to others.

My inner child is disconnected from my higher self.

My inner child’s spirit feels broken.

My inner child has learned to distrust women/men in order to feel safe.

My inner child has learned to distrust others/the world in order to feel safe.

My inner child never feels safe.

My inner child hates life.

Life is a struggle for my inner child.

My inner child is fearful there will never be enough love, resources, nourishment, money, kindness, or safety.

My inner child needs to judge others in order to feel safe.

My inner child uses unforgiveness in order to protect itself.

My inner child needs to judge others in order to feel safe.

I am suffering so my inner child can feel safe.

I am disconnected from my inner child.

My mind/heart is disconnected from my inner child.

My inner child is disconnected from God and all life.

My inner child was taught to have no love for himself/ herself.

My inner child feels alienated from others.

My inner child must punish itself in order to feel good enough/worthy.

My inner child is frustrated that he/she can’t gain control over (smoking).

My inner child needs an addiction to (smoking) in order to fit in with others.

My inner child does not feel a sense of belonging anywhere.

My inner child feels the need to run away when things get difficult.

My inner child feels trapped in current circumstances.

My inner child needs to control his/her environment in order to deal with stress.

My inner child is anxious around other people.

My inner child doesn’t feel safe around other people.

My inner child doesn’t feel comfortable with attention from others.

My inner child lives in fear of being abandoned/judged by others.

My inner child is unable to forgive anyone for all of the wrongs committed against him/her.

Forgiveness is impossible for my inner child.

My inner child doesn’t know how to enjoy life.

My inner child doesn’t want to enjoy life.

Life is difficult for my inner child.

Change is not tolerated by my inner child.

Change signals danger for my inner child.

My inner child projects fear of change into my future.

My inner child just wants to be alone.

My inner child doesn’t tolerate other people.

My inner child doesn’t believe happiness can be lasting.

My inner child is not open to meeting new people.

My inner child has lost all affection for God.

My inner child is struggling to show affection to anyone.

My inner child is struggling to find faith in the universe, himself/herself, and others.

My inner child doesn’t know how to deal with other people.

My inner child doesn’t want to be different from other people.

My inner child doesn’t want to be a burden to others.

My inner child doesn’t know how to accept others as they are.

My inner child can only feel doubt about life.

It’s normal for my inner child to only feel doubt about relationships.

My inner child hates being social.

My inner child doesn’t feel safe with the idea of trying something new.

My inner child is intimidated by all aspects of life.

My inner child is intimidated by large groups.

My inner child is intimidated by his/her own success.

My inner child is intimidated by being seen by others.

My inner child is intimidated by those in authority.

My inner child is intimidated by those who look different from him/her.

My inner child is intimidated by those of a different race/ religion.

My inner child is intimidated by those of a different religion.

My inner child believes nothing will fill the emptiness he/she feels.

Emptiness makes my inner child unable to connect to others in a meaningful way.

My inner child believes nobody really wants to be her friend.

My inner child is afraid to give/share.

My inner child wants to hide from the world.

My inner child is afraid of being taken advantage of.

My inner child believes he/she cannot do anything right.

My inner child doesn’t know how to be happy or at peace.

My inner child believes nobody really wants to be his/her friend.

My inner child is afraid to give/ share.

My inner child won’t speak up for his/ her own needs.

My inner child is shy.

My inner child is ashamed and believes he/she is an abomination.

My inner child thinks that he/she is hated by God.

My inner child feels like he/she is in trouble all the time.

My inner child struggles with depression and self-love.

Positive beliefs you may choose to adopt to further

heal separation energy in your inner child:

My inner child is allowed to identify with those of other races and religions.

My inner child is allowed to identify with those who look or seem different than him/her.

My inner child is free to have fun and enjoy the company of other people.

My inner child completely releases all feelings of overwhelm when in a crowd.

My inner child completely releases all desire to hide away from others.

My inner child is completely comfortable being in front of and a part of a crowd.

My inner child completely embraces and enjoys being around people.

My inner child completely releases all separation energy.

My inner child completely understands his/her connection to all mankind.

My inner child is at ease with all other people.

My inner child is at peace with all other people.

My inner child is completely confident expressing himself/herself around others.

My inner child is free to enjoy all life has to offer.

Limiting beliefs you can clear to heal your

inner child from the trauma of loss:

My inner child is lonely without the people he/she has lost.

My inner child is in pain from the loss of people he/she loves.

My inner child has suffered so much loss he/she lives in constant fear of losing everyone.

My inner child is focused on loss in the future.

My inner child protects himself/herself from the pain of loss by keeping everyone at arm’s length.

My inner child believes being close to people causes pain.

God takes everyone my inner child loves.

My inner child is mad at God for all the loss he/she has suffered.

My inner child is struggling to find meaning in life.

My inner child is cautious about allowing life in.

My inner child is grieving all he/she has lost.

My inner child feels consumed by grief.

My inner child over-identifies as being grief-stricken.

My inner child gets attention with grief.

Replacement beliefs to help heal loss in your inner child:

My inner child is free from the pain of lost loved ones.

My inner child knows no loss, only transition.

My inner child fully forgives God for the passing of her/his loved ones.

My inner child knows how to find meaning in life after experiencing loss.

My inner