Makeover from Within: Lessons in Hardship, Acceptance, and Self-Discovery

By Ty Hunter

A moving and uniquely inspiring book of self-reflection and motivational musings from Ty Hunter, stylist to the stars.

In this nuanced mix of memoir, photographs, motivational musings, and wisdom, legendary celebrity stylist Ty Hunter recounts both the trying times and brightest moments of his life. Faced with physical, mental, and emotional obstacles that range from a gunshot wound to caring for his sick parents to simply existing as a Black, gay man in America, Ty channeled his energy into surmounting the unconquerable, along the way developing a resilient spirit—one that begs to be shared with the world.

In overcoming his own hardships and blossoming in his career as a stylist, where he worked with superstars like Beyoncé and Billy Porter, Ty has developed a knack for inspiring self-confidence in others. Perfect for the unstoppable badass in your life, this book tells the story of a vibrant soul who defeated the odds and whose goal is to guide you to a brighter and more positive future.

DISTINGUISHED AUTHOR: Ty Hunter was Beyoncé's stylist for 18 years, currently works as Billy Porter's head stylist, and launched a fashion line with A Cloud. Ty's substantial following on Instagram, where he shares motivational life advice, demonstrates high demand for his words of wisdom.
 
SUPERSTAR CONTRIBUTORS: Featuring a foreword by multi-platinum Grammy award–winning singer, songwriter, and actress Beyoncé and afterword by multi-award-winning actor, singer, and author Billy Porter.
 
A GREAT READ AND GIFT: This gorgeous book is perfect for birthdays, holidays, Pride celebrations, or any other day that needs some positive energy.
 
INSPIRING STORY: This book sends a bold and inspiring message to underdogs everywhere that they can overcome the impossible and thrive. 
 
Perfect for:

• Fans of Ty Hunter, Beyoncé, Tina Knowles, Billy Porter, and more
• Fashion and pop culture enthusiasts

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chronicle Books Digital
• Release date: Nov 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781797220376

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

We’re all Easter eggs, and everybody is trying to make the shell beautiful. That’s the society we live in. In reality, the yolk is the most vital part. What’s inside is what feeds us and helps us push forward. So many people think, Once I get this thing or achieve that goal, get this guy, look a certain way, have the right house or car, I’ve arrived. But you arrived when you were born. I arrived on August 20, 1972. I have everything I need to be happy—and so do you.

I started on social media to keep in touch with friends and family. The first photo I posted was in a fabric store with Miss Tina Knowles. I just took a picture of spools of fabric. Gradually, my posts moved from photos to motivational quotes, and the overwhelming response to the thoughts I shared (some mine and some borrowed wisdom from others) made me realize I wasn’t alone. I’d be on a tour with Beyoncé and people would come up to me to say how much they loved my page, and how it helped them get through a difficult time in their life. I could have easily kept posting fashion but I was interested in a bigger picture. I wanted my social media presence to be about mental health and helping people cope with their everyday. I used yellow to bring light to the darkness that can live on the internet, and I called my page Ty’s Yellow Pages.

Navigating this world can be difficult, and pushing yourself day to day is a process. My community helps me see what people are going through, and supporting them keeps me going, keeps me real. I’ve had people say my words helped them when they were suicidal or that my posts steadied them through a divorce. That made me realize my platform is bigger than me. I want to keep that upbeat flow going. It’s easy to put out negativity, but I choose what I want to receive, which is positivity and blessings. So that’s what I put out.

And that’s what I choose to put out in my life too. As a stylist, I make sure people look good on the outside. That is part of my job. But I also make sure my clients feel good about themselves. I help them love themselves and overcome what they view as problem areas on their bodies. I get them to a place where they see fashion as fun and don’t take it so seriously. Maybe you feel like you want to work on your body. Fine. Change is worthwhile if you’re strengthening something you truly think needs improvement. But that effort doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful and perfect right now. You need to get to that place of self-love. Once you are happy in your skin, work on the shell all you want. But start your makeover from within. Keep your main focus on the real you, on your heart and soul.

I’m happy with myself now, but my self-assurance was hard-won. And as I listened to you all—friends, family, and followers—I realized I had more to share than social media could encompass. This book was a way for me to go deeper into my experiences and share what I’ve learned in a way that lets you see the whole spectrum of my life—the sadness and misfortunes and heartbreaks along with the triumphs and joys. I want you to know the beautiful, generous people who have cared for and encouraged me and also the folks who did me wrong. And I want you to see how I dealt with it all—my mistakes, triumphs, hard work, and lucky breaks. There’s such richness in our experiences if we learn to look at them as opportunities for growth rather than as things that just happen to us.

There are going to be good days and bad days, but I know I can survive those bad days and surmount the difficult things. I don’t have to be afraid, because whatever comes my way, I can handle it. And you can too. That’s what tough times show us. And the people who love us are going to be right there with us in our dark hours, just as we will be there for them. We need to treasure those loved ones and continue nourishing that vital part of ourselves that understands we are perfect just as we are. And we need to have faith that bright days will always come again.

Part I. Becoming TyChapter 1. The Women Who Shaped Me

My godmother, Ethel, my great-grandmother, Mama Bea, and my grandmother, Georgia

Women have always been my comfort zone. All my life, women have allowed me to be myself in a wholehearted way that didn’t come naturally to most of the men I knew growing up in Texas. And I was surrounded by strong, independent women! These women wanted to know my opinion on things. My stamp of approval mattered to them. And theirs mattered to me. Their care and attention has always made me feel important, special, loved. It has shaped me into who I am.

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When I was little, I never wanted to be apart from my mom. We depended on each other. She had me when she was only nineteen, and in a way, we grew up together. She’d left my dad soon after finding out he had gotten another woman pregnant (with my lovely sister, Sonya). So she was alone. But she was never really alone.

At first, when I was a baby, my mom and I lived with my grandmother, who stepped in to help raise me. My mother called my grandmother Mama and my grandma called her Connie, so I called my grandmother Mama and my mother Connie, too. I didn’t stop that till about junior high. I saw my grandmother as the authority figure, in charge of both my mom and me, though my mom didn’t see it that way. Mom was clearly my parent, but she was always my friend too. Even now, that’s my girl.

When I was two or three years old, my godmother, Ethel, and my mom got an apartment together. Ethel and my mother have been like sisters ever since they were girls. Both had four brothers and were the only daughters, so they needed each other; they craved that feminine energy, and that’s what they gave each other.

Ethel has always been in my life; she’s a second mother to me. She helped take care of me, and she is the one I turned to if I needed help with something practical. Ethel knows about almost everything, and what she doesn’t know, she’s going to find out. She worked for the comptroller’s office in Texas and we relied on her, on her strength and levelheadedness. She did our taxes growing up, and she gave us legal guidance. She understood how to handle life situations. But she could be a lot of fun too. Sometimes I would watch Ethel and Mom get ready to go out at night. They seemed so glamorous and grown up. Looking back, I realize they were only in their twenties! Mom and Ethel adored Natalie Cole, and whatever Natalie did, they would do. They had wigs, and they’d put their real hair in the front and blend it into the wig to look like Ms. Cole. They’d make updos, with knots and braids, just like Natalie Cole used to wear on her TV specials and in the Posner hair product commercials you’d see every time you watched Soul Train. She was a beautiful fixture in my life.

I especially loved helping Mom choose her outfits for those evenings out, and I was mesmerized as I watched her put on makeup and do her hair. Her transformation from nine-to-five hospital worker into beautiful young woman going out on the town captivated me. She would model different clothes and jewelry and ask me what looked best on her, and I felt so special that she took my suggestions. My mom showed me early on that when you feel confident about the way you look, you feel better about yourself.

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On the nights Mom and Ethel went out clubbing, they would drop me off at my great-grandmother’s house. I called her Mama Bea, and she was my everything. I just loved being around her. I’d sit for hours and listen to her talk to her friends—she was so funny and spicy. There were a lot of kids who lived right by her, and I would run around and play with them, so I always had a lot of fun at her house. When it was time for bed, she would lay all these handmade quilts and big blankets out on the living room floor. She would fold them up so thick that it felt like I was laying on a mattress. That was before there were blow-up mattresses! She made me so comfortable that I never had a problem falling asleep there. In the morning, Mama Bea made golden hot water cornbread cakes in an iron skillet. She’d add a pat of butter and sprinkle sugar on top, simple things that were just so good.

Every woman is a queen. Remind them daily because this world can make them forget.

My mother, Connie, a new mom at nineteen

Mama Bea never changed, even as she got older. She had no filter. If someone spoke Spanish around her, she thought they were talking about her. We would tell her, Mama Bea, those people are not talking about you. They’re talking about canned goods. That has nothing to do with you. She was ready to fight at the drop of a dime. She was just a funny, little, skinny lady (I look a lot like her) who kept us laughing all the time.

Once my friend Damon came with me to her house. Damon had dreads, which in Texas was a rare thing. I had always wanted locks, and my hair was in this growing phase; I had just started twisting my fro a little bit. Mama Bea said, I hope you don’t think you’re going to grow those things in your head like your friend. I hate them things. They look unclean. I don’t like them.

Mama Bea, I want my hair like that, I told her.

She said, I don’t like them and your friend looks crazy.

Which friend? I asked. The one right here? I opened the door to the living room, where Damon was sitting. She said to him, Well, baby, they look good on you. But Ty … his head is too long and they just won’t look right on him.

Mama Bea was the only person who would get in the car with me when I got my driver’s license. Everybody else said I couldn’t drive. She and I would just roll. I’d go pick her up and we would go to garage sales, thrifting all day, just having the best time. That woman gave me so much love.

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Mama Bea may have spoiled me a little, but she had been very strict when she was raising my grandmother. She was so worried about her children going down the wrong path in life that she didn’t allow them to do anything. When Grandma finally moved out of the house, she went wild partying and living it up. She eventually settled down, and she promised herself she wouldn’t do to her kids what Mama Bea had done to her. She kept that promise. My uncles had a lot of freedom, and could pretty much do what they wanted. My mom had more restrictions than the boys, but she could still date and live her life.

Mom adopted the same parenting philosophy her mother had. She’d been raised with a sense of independence and she wanted to pass the same kind of freedom on to me. She wanted me to be safe, so I was supposed to let her know where I was, but other than that I was allowed to explore. I’d go out early and be gone all day. That’s back when you could be on your bike and not come home until 10 p.m. and nobody thought anything of it.

Mama Bea always reminded me of Flo from the TV show Alice: Kiss my grits!

The independence my mother gave me allowed me to not lose my mind when I got older. I never really rebelled the way some of my friends did. I didn’t have to. They would cut up and do crazy stuff, but because I had such freedom I could keep myself in check. They would make some risky plan but I wouldn’t go along—I couldn’t do that to my mom.

A night on the town for Ethel, Mom, and my cousin Dee Maxwell

I could