Crazy Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Witch Doctors, #3

By C.S. Edwards

What does Bart Babington's love life, a legendary key, and the Goddess of Death, have in common? Well, Bart is about to find out.

 

The not-so-famous witch doctor cosmetic surgeon is sick and tired of his two meddling sisters trying to mate him up at every annual Samhain celebration for the last ten years. So, Bart enlists his two best wingmen to help him find a fake date to take to Rabbit Hash for the party.

 

In his grand plan to get his sisters off his back, what he didn't count on is falling for a pigeon raising, southern witch on a moped. Nor did he expect to lose her during the couple's championships for the Loving Cup. But he's on a ghostly trip to sort out his past and make room for true love in his life.

 

Will Bart find his witch, or will he never unlock his heart? 

• Language: English
• Publisher: C. S. Edwards
• Release date: Oct 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215161517

C.S. Edwards

I was born in Ashland, Kentucky, the youngest of three children, and grew up in the small Eastern Kentucky town of Inez. I moved to Lexington to finish high school. Attending Transylvania University for two years, before graduating from Hollins University in Roanoke, Virginia - with a degree in Economics - go figure! After a stint in New York City, I moved back home to Kentucky and have since built my life around family.  Living just outside of Cincinnati with my husband, Sean, and our five amazing kids, and a precious goldendoodle, I work hard to find time to balance family, work, and writing.  My first passion is weaving mysteries and I'm working on several new fiction projects now. This past year, I also find great joy in creating useful journals, trackers, and planners. I have big plans for publishing more of these creative notebooks in the future! As always, I cannot wait to share my next novel with you. I hope you enjoy and welcome hearing from you! Be the first to know when my next book is available! Follow me on BookBub: http://bookbub.com/authors/c.s.edwards  Follow me on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15014243.C_S_Edwards Follow me on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/CSEdwardsauthor Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorcsedwards/ Follow me on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/authorcsedwards/

Book preview

Crazy Witch

The Witch Doctors, Book Three

C.S. Edwards

Copyright © 2022 by C.S. Edwards

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.

This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.

The Author of this Book has been granted permission by Robyn Peterman to use the copyrighted characters and/or worlds created by Robyn Peterman in this book. All copyright protection to the original characters and/or worlds of the Magic and Mayhem series is retained by Robyn Peterman.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Book Description

Foreword

Prologue

1. The Townhouse in Mt. Adams

2. The Blind Lemon

3. Over The Rhine

4. The Eagle

5. Bakery Loft Roof

6. Rabbit Hash General Store

7. The Cabin Lake House

8. The Sundown Ceremony

9. Let the Games Begin

10. The Old Hacienda

11. Give Me Some Sugar

12. Ghosts in the Graveyard

13. The 7th Door

14. What Really Happened

Epilogue

More From the Magic and Mayhem Universe

About C.S. Edwards

Acknowledgments

Thanks to Robyn for always being my BFF.

For the patience of my family, without that, this would not be possible.

Book Description

What does Bart Babington’s love life, a legendary key, and the Goddess of Death, have in common? Well, Bart Babington is about to find out.

The not-so-famous witch doctor cosmetic surgeon is sick and tired of his two meddling sisters trying to mate him up at every annual Samhain celebration for the last ten years. So, Bart enlists his two best wingmen to help him find a fake date to take to Rabbit Hash for the party.

In his grand plan to get his sisters off his back, what he didn’t count on is falling for a pigeon raising, southern witch on a moped. Nor did he expect to lose her during the couple’s championships for the Loving Cup. But he’s on a ghostly trip to sort out his past and make room for true love in his life.

Will Bart find his witch, or will he never unlock his heart?

Foreword

Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!

I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.

What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?

Well, let me explain…

It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you…the results are hilarious! So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/.

Grab your copy today! And if you would like to read the book that started all the madness, Switching Hour is FREE!

https://robynpeterman.com/switching-hour/

Prologue

Once upon a time there was a witch and a warlock who fell in love. They lived together in a modest and remote castle, working the land, making essential oils, and giving back to the earth. They were a good witch and warlock who loved their life and wanted nothing more than to share their love and good fortune with others. But most of all, they dreamed of having a tiny magical being of their own. This was not to be. For all their trying, the witch could not become pregnant. They grew herbs to make special teas, mixed up potions for fertility, and even cast spells under the light of the full moon. Nothing worked. The witch’s belly remained empty. The days turned into months, into years, then into decades. A century passed, but no baby came. The witch fell into a deep sadness. She no longer got out of bed and tended to her garden. She no longer sang while strolling through the meadows of wildflowers. She no longer ate until she was full. She cried. She slept. She stared into the nothingness of the night.

Heartbroken to see his love so forlorn, the warlock decided to venture out of the safety of their secluded castle and find a Baba Yaga to heal his wife and give them a child through either light or dark magical means. The day he left, he kissed her and promised to always love her in this world, and the next. He vowed to search eternally for help for his barren wife. He vowed to find a way to give her a child. The witch pleaded with him not to leave. She told him she’d felt something terrible coming his way. He saw it, too, but knew her happiness was more important. She cried and held onto the warlock, but he pushed her away. Before he mounted his stead, he placed a soft kiss on her lips. The warlock embraced the witch’s face in his hands and looked deep into her aqua eyes. He said, you are my heart. Without you by my side, this muscle in my chest would cease to beat. I will travel to the end of the earth and time to make you happy. He kissed her again. If I do not return, always follow your heart. He removed a long chain that held and small key from his neck and placed it in her hands. This key opens the lock to the future. It’s been passed down in my family since the beginning of time, bestowed upon those with a purpose to learn. Use it and our love will be for all eternity.

The witch did not see the warlock alive again.

one

The Townhouse in Mt. Adams

B art, this is your mother. Blanche’s disembodied voice seeped through the speaker system embedded in every room of the three-story townhouse. Echoing throughout the sparsely decorated spaces, her tone was calm and rational with a tinge of caution—which sounded pretty normal for Blanche Babington. Your sisters and I are planning on seeing you this weekend for the Samhain festivities in Rabbit Hash. Let me know when you expect to transport. Seems Betsy and Betty have some big plans for you again. You better call me back.

Bart stepped out of the shower, wrapped a bath towel around his waist, and strode to the sink. Tussling his auburn hair with his hand, he spoke to his reflection in the mirror. I know what my sisters are up to. They do this shit every year. No more.

Bart tapped the left corner of the mirror and a ripple of waves moved from the corner of the mercury backed glass across the once still and solid surface, Amelia, call Reggie and Sparky.

The mirror answered in her distinctive AI rhythm, calling Reggie and Sparky, and emanated an old-fashioned ring of a corded phone. With a plop, Reggie appeared in one corner of the mirror and Sparky in another. Amelia displayed the trio of friends in a single line across the elegant mercury backed glass, which hung above a sleek marble double vanity in Bart’s master bathroom and doubled as a smart screen. I have your BFFs, Bart. What else would you like me to do?

That’s all. Thanks Amelia. Bart dismissed his smart assistant and smiled. If only all women were like Amelia.

Yo, brother, why you got to be showing up on my Copy Reveal screen half naked? Reggie grimaced.

He’ll say it was unintentional, but we all know the truth. He didn’t get enough attention as a child. Sparky chimed in.

Shut up. It’s go time. Are you boys ready for The Lemon? Bart stretched on his shirt.

I’m not sure The Lemon is ready for your look, bub. Reggie grimaced and looked away.

What? Bart looked down to see his emerald green towel still tightly wrapped around his waist, topped off with a navy-blue pima cotton, boutique brand, polo. Oh hell. I’m going to grab some jeans.

Don’t forget your tightie-whities, Marky-Mark. Sparky yelled.

Reggie cackled, He’ll never live that one down.

Rightfully so. Who wears tightie-whities, ever? Even back in the day, when he dropped his drawers to impress Miss Mona Lisa Giorgio—who was not feeling the vibrations—the tighties were not a good look. Sparky grinned and straightened his ball cap.

Reggie nodded. True. No matter how good the package, sometimes it’s all about the wrapping. The two friends gave each other a virtual high five that spawned an undulation of swells in the mirror.

Bart returned clad in jeans and his polo. Fuck off, both of you. I looked good. It wasn’t my choice of underwear she didn’t like. Miss Mona Lisa was into rich Italian guys. She wasn’t into young, just starting out, witch doctors.

Whatever makes you feel better, man. Sparky waved him off.

I’ll feel better when I pull this weekend off. I’m ready to get this plan started. I’ve got to find a witch worthy of hanging out with for the next three days, and that’s willing to play along like we’re a real couple. I’m determined to put an end to the ‘set-up Bart’ bullshit my sisters pull every Samhain. It ruins the whole weekend. Besides, it's gone on long enough. Time to move on. I've moved on. Everyone else needs to, too.

No shit. Last year was ridiculous. I thought Betsy was never going to quit introducing you to all those models. Sparky shook his head, and his sliver and black hair dangled over one eye. It was like a line of Wictoria Angels walking the catwalk just for you.

You poor asshole. Reggie scoffed. You could help a brother out and throw some of your misfortune my way, you know. I am a single warlock now, too.

Trust me, none of those witches were your type. They weren’t my type either. Besides, you and I are not the settling down kind. Not anymore. That’s why your three-year shit-show with Brigette didn’t work out Regg. I mean, how the hell did you expect to settle down with a hippie witch? You’re mister conservative?

She wasn’t a hippie witch. Reggie rubbed his chin. She was crazy.

Crazy witch. Definitely. Sparky agreed.

Well, whatever. Good riddance. You’re better than that, man. We don’t do crazy because crazy witches just up and disappear for no reason what-so-ever. Bart leaned on the counter and eyed both of his best friends. We do this. Us. Brothers.

Yeah. But don’t forget Misty. Sparky’s eyes lit up at the mention of his wife.

"Of course, I always include Misty in our crew. Hell, she’s a better wingman than you are Sparky.