Broken Star: My Self Love Journey: Serendipity

By Iva Tarle

The book is an unique storytelling of 3 elements: a memoir of experience of working in diplomacy, travelogues from Indonesia, and the magic of spiritual connection and personal development. This adventure of traveling to the end of the world, begins with a trip to Southeast Asia but it's actually about starting a new life, at the age of 33 of the heroine. 

The book describes the life of Kuala Lumpur, the jungles of Borneo, the polluted megalopolis of the very social and wealthy mega city of Jakarta, and the mystical and culturally intriguing world of the island of Bali. 

The author shares the adventures of living in South East Asia, but also internal struggle, learning about love, the understanding that external success is irrelevant if it is not aligned with your own values, and the decision to leave the work in diplomacy, and moving to Bali - allowing life to take her in it's own direction.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Iva Tarle
• Release date: Aug 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201805029

Iva Tarle

Iva is a former diplomat that quit her job and moved to Bali to find her passion and purpose. She practices coaching and training focusing on mindfulness, art therapy and movement. She holds 2 Master's degrees, in English and Linguistics and Interdisciplinary European Integration, had trainining in NLP and Mindfulness, Reiki and Theta Healing. She published articles in Jurnal of Public Diplomacy, Psychology Today, Elephant Journal, Psiha.hr and many others. Iva loves dance, singining and nature.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

How One Strong Wish Sent Me on an 8 Year Journey to Southeast Asia

"W e all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."

Louisa May Alcott

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE to be seemingly winning on the outside but losing one’s connection to the soul at the same time?

It happens when one goes after what others find successful, when one has been trained into achieving without consulting the soul, asking, Do you really want this?

Is this a part of your mission? Does this make you happy?

My soul couldn’t be quiet anymore. It was speaking out, screaming to the body inside which it lived: I am in pain. I cannot do this job anymore. I am misusing my abilities.

I can do more.

I can contribute more.

I can be more.

The screaming of my soul was so strong, it created unbearable pain in my body. At times I felt I was under attack from all directions, both internal, from my own subconscious, and external, from my colleagues.

As above, so below.

I have no place here among these people. They don’t share my values. They are here to dismiss and openly disrespect anyone different than they are.

They hated gays, Muslims, and anyone from a different nation. I, on the other hand, love diversity. I believe it contributes to the beauty of the world. I wanted to contribute and improve things around me.

It was a huge clash of different mentalities. A clash of personal universes, like two alien species met and cannot communicate without a common language.

Or perhaps, the entire universe was teaming up to propel me in another life direction.

I FELT A MIX OF FEELINGS. of my entire world crashing and pure excitement when I read the official letter. I couldn’t believe my own luck.

The thought of serving in the Embassy in Jakarta for another three years was simply unbearable. I was constantly trying to find a way out.

And there was this letter, carrying the bolt-of-lightning solution: you are to return to Zagreb in one week, your position is being terminated.

Malaysian Diarrhea

At that point in my life, I had a few travel miles up my sleeve. I had traveled most of Europe and the Middle East, been on an exchange year in the USA and recently returned from a master’s degree year spent in a castle that was repurposed into a campus, in Warsaw, Poland.

I loved to travel and explore different cultures and religions, but I wasn’t sure—or ready for—how Southeast Asia would get to me. Little did I know how perfectly it would fit my soul’s shape.

A few years back, my friend moved to Malaysia with her husband who worked at Siemens and they invited me to pay them a visit. I asked a friend of mine from work, Dragana, if she wanted to join me for the adventure. She, of course

joyfully accepted.

This is the mess that happened on the way to Kuala Lumpur: We had an 8-hour stopover in Cairo—on an 18-hour flight. The airline organized a visit to the Pyramids, a diner and shady shopping in town. We traveled with Egypt Air, which I hope is not operating anymore because their food hygiene is questionable, and they changed flight times without informing their clients. Flaky, to say the least.

At the restaurant, apparently they had washed the salad with tap water which was full of bacteria and it got into my system. It was one heavy MF. It cleansed me through and through.

I lost 10 kilos in 10 days and the worst thing is I was bound to eating crackers and drinking black tea during the entire trip in a land where the favorite pastime is eating. I had to watch the bounty of tropical fruits, either made into smoothies or smiling at me refrigerated while we were existing in a steaming 35 degrees Celsius. All the while, the scents of amazing ethnic foods and spices from Malay, Chinese, and Indian cuisines were filling the air.

It was pure torture for my gourmand self.

However, as every traveler knows, when something prevents you from visiting the destination to the fullest, you are bound to come back. And I did—full time.

City in the Jungle

Oh, how immediately mesmerized I was by Kuala Lumpur’s lush green beauty—after we got over the jet lag, that is. Whenever you change time so many time zones, 11,000 km apart, the body needs to readjust to the new time zone. And the new climate was - steamy, hot, and humid.

My friends were living in a beautiful complex of condos in the affluent expat community in the green hills of Bangsar. Buildings were few and far between with only a handful of rows of family houses tucked in the thick emerald scenery of tropical jungle. Each building had a public pool—to my pure delight.

I was fascinated by the Petronas Towers and the Petaling Street Market and the Hindu Temples of Little India, for sure, but mostly I was fascinated by how the jungle was a part of the modern city comprised of two million people. There were huge trees with buoyant leaves, palms, and vines over arched every sidewalk, road, and highway. I just loved the idea that nature could be worked into the structure of a city.

I remember it all like it was just yesterday. I was mesmerized by the calmness and kindness of the locals, who smiled often and started polite conversations in public places—buses, shopping malls and pool areas, like it was all a part of big social club—and shared their food with us.

I was fascinated by the discovery that despite the difference in religion, looks, language and culture from us Croatians, we had so many basic human traits in common. Those of kindness, politeness, enjoying each other’s company while eating, and customs for sharing food. Who would have thought that I would discover my real values so far away from home, on the other side of the world?

As this book goes deeper to my life in Southeast Asia and Bali, you will discover that in those regions specifically, I discovered some of my other deeply buried values and connected with people who would become my mentors on my personal development journey and my professional journey as a coach.

It’s quite interesting how much of a potent influence geographic areas can have on us as people. Just as an individual natal chart has placements of planets, these lines extend to the Earth as geographic areas are also connected to specific planetary influences. These influences can be defined very accurately by knowing the astrology of a place. Living along the Venus Line, for example, would attract love to one’s life. The energetic lines in South East Asia, and especially Bali, were stimulating my North Node, my life’s purpose.

Bucket List and Quite Promiscuous Orangutans

One of the field trips we did in Malaysia was visit Sarawak in Borneo. I was crazy about visiting the jungle, and despite my friends putting up resistance against us traveling to Borneo, I was determined to make it happen. I’m so happy I didn’t give up.

I remember somewhere in the vast archives of my conscious mind, when I was a girl in primary school studying geography looking at the map of the world, I had this strong, deep desire to visit the tropical islands of Java and Borneo. I had no idea at the time that the strength of the wish determines the probability of it happening.

Wishes are very potent. It all starts with making the wish. If you really want something that makes you happy, even if it is your wildest dream, even if you doubt it ever possible, all you have to do is by connecting to the feelings you will feel once it comes true and let go. This is the right path toward actually experiencing it.

It’s interesting how Spirit guides us from our subconscious to focus on what is important in our life. Who would have guessed that I would end up in Borneo in my early thirties and have a spiritual experience in the rainforest?

We booked a super affordable and reliable local airline called Air Asia, which would later become one of the most awarded low budget airlines in the following10 years.

We landed in Kuching and drove for few hours to a 4-star resort on the beachfront. My expat friend was quite disappointed with the service. The resort was nothing special, but Dragana and I couldn’t care less. We were swimming in pools on a tropical island in the South Chinese Sea...Why would we complain!?! The expats on the other hand had to keep up their appearances of affluence and prestige. I understood that as an expat in Jakarta, later on.

I still wasn’t eating normal food...I could only have bananas. Bananas are called pisang in both Bahasa Malaysia and Indonesia (the languages of these two lands are quite similar). The pisang were super tasty as they were picked straight from the trees, unlike the ones that travel by boat for several months before they even arrive in European shops—the ones I’m used to.

The Malaysian part of the island was much less developed than the affluent continental part of Malaysia; however, it was more developed than its more southern part, Kalimantan, which belongs to Indonesia. 

On our way to the resort,