I Am Ugly: Broken on the Inside

By Grace Amadi

Her legs felt heavy as she ran down the lonely path, crying and panting. His heavy footsteps echoed behind her, but she didn't dare to look back. She couldn't! She was terrified of what would happen to her if he caught up with her. She quivered as she hid in a small shop, hoping and praying he wouldn't find her. But he did!

And that night left her permanently scarred ... Now she was a vengeful soul, ready to destroy anyone who dared to cross her.

Mildred may appear to be a beautiful and innocent-looking girl, but she was broken, bitter, and ugly on the inside and a slave to her angry outbursts and personality disorder. After being raped as a child, just after losing her father, she vows to inflict pain on anyone who steps on her toes. She never tires of exacting her vengeance on her victims... no, they weren't the victims... she was! She was both Victim and Villain!

Mildred remains a troubled soul until she meets her one true friend, Gift. The only person who understood her and brought her peace. But when Gift betrays her in the most painful way, she reveals the ugliest part of her...

Gift knows Mildred has a dark side. Her innocent face was only a facade hiding the deadliest personality Gift had ever encountered. Though there was no evidence, she suspected her friend was behind the series of mishaps happening in their hostel.

Never did she imagine that one day she would be in Mildred's black book...

Will she survive it?

Would there ever be an end to Mildred's insatiable thirst for vengeance?

Come and be part of Mildred's dysfunctional world, and she may spare you too!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Grace Amadi
• Release date: Jun 18, 2022

Grace Amadi

Grace Amadi is a passionate African writer who loves writing adventurous stories, romance, crime and suspense-filled stories about things happening around her, or just from her imagination.Grace graduated from the prestigious University Of Nigeria Nsukka where she specialized in Scriptwriting and acting.She is also a content writer who has written thousands of articles for different blogs. She equally owns a blog xplorefeelings.com.Grace is a fun, talented, creative and optimistic person. She loves to live to the fullest. What's life without some adventure, romance and fun?"Come on! Live! Love! and Conquer the world!"

Book preview

Dedication

To All Those Who Have Suffered One Trauma Or Another. I Hope You Heal From It All.

Contents

Title Page  

Copyright

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10 

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

Chapter 16 

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

Prologue 

Not again! Not the evil trio again! What were they doing standing angrily in her path. She thought she had defeated them. What did they want with her now? Mildred wondered as she scanned the angry faces of the girls standing challengingly in front of her, her poor heart beating faster. 

You thought I was that easy to defeat? Then you clearly know nothing about me! I will not rest till you suffer what I suffered that day. We will beat you to a pulp Sylvia threatened as they charged towards Mildred kicking and slapping her. 

Mildred wasn't prepared for the assault and she tried her best to block off the attacks but it didn't help. One of the girls kicked her on her knee and she almost fell. And that was enough! That was enough for her ugly side to leap out ready for retaliation!

She waited for Lilian to attack again and this time she caught her hand and bit into it like it was a lap of chicken and she didn't let go until there was blood and flesh on her teeth which she spat out. The other girls backed away as Lilian shrieked in pain at the horror that was now her hand. 

But that didn't stop Sylvia from charging towards Mildred again but she was wise enough to let Ella attack first.  And she was shocked to find Ella's bloodied teeth on the floor as she wailed in pain.  She looked at Mildred then and she thought she saw the devil himself with glowing red eyes. She looked around and saw her friends crying  in pain and she couldn't believe Mildred was capable of such brutality. She backed away...afraid!

Mildred stood tall as she held the bloodied stone in her hand, watching the girls cower in fear and she felt powerful. No one crosses her and gets away with it! No one!

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CHAPTER 1

Mildred was sweating profusely as she ran down the lonely street. She ran as fast as her legs could carry, but her legs were becoming too heavy for her; panting as she listened to her heart beat erratically and her mind racing with fear. But she had to keep going or he would catch up with her. And she didn’t want to know what would happen if he caught up with her or maybe she did... something terrible! Tears started dripping down her cheeks. She didn’t deserve all this; she didn’t deserve to be fatherless and all alone in this world. A tiny voice in her head reminded her she still had her mum, but she refused to listen to it. Though her mum was still alive and healthy however, she still felt alone. Her poor mum! As she thought about the fight they had just after her father's corspe had been swallowed by the earth and how devastated she had felt at that moment, she was overwhelmed with the sudden feeling of hopelessness. Everyone tried consoling her but it didn't help; she had stormed out of her home to find some peace. Her heart  as she thought about her mum She must be dead worried about her now and here she was...

Footsteps... she could hear heavy footsteps behind her. It was him! She has to hide; she simply could not keep on running on this empty dangerous path. The darkness of the night enveloped her, yet she continued to run down the lonely road, looking for where to hide. How could a street which was so  busy during the day be so quiet at night? She thought frantically as she desperately looked for where to hide. Some buildings she saw looked a bit familiar, but she didn’t know them well enough. How could she? Her life had been so secluded that she hardly ever left her home. She had no friends of her own and few palces she visited, there was always a driver to take her there. She sighed; she had to find somewhere to hide. Mildred’s heavily red eyes browsed through the outdated buildings on the unfamiliar road and she felt so lost. This crude part of Enugu town differed totally from the classy homes in her estate that she was used to. How did she get here? "What was she so far from home this late at night?And how was she ever going to escape from the man who was trailing behind her? 

Out of fear of being in the open, she ran hurriedly into a kiosk popularly known for its delicious fries and noodles. Mildred could still smell the sweet aroma around her as she hid behind a chair, hoping he wouldn’t see her. She couldn’t take out her phone to make a call and ask for help. She was too scared to do anything. Mildred was shaking with fear as she prayed silently for no harm to come to her.  She couldn’t hear anything anymore, no footsteps, just the sound of her own breathing. Maybe he was gone! He didn’t find her. All she had to do now was rest under that chair until morning, then she would call her mum. 

Now that there was peace, she could still remember the few times she had passed this very street with her cousins. They weren’t as rich as her family and were used to eating a lot of street food. Her mother often called them a ghetto family and also treated them condescendingly. They were the ones who first introduced Akara (bean cake), Suya, and street noodles to Mildred, the first and only time she met them. If her mum had ever found out she had eaten street food with her cousins like a village girl, she would have scolded her. Her mum was prim and proper and often looked down on people below her social status. Well, her mum would never know how sweet Suya or bean cake was compared to Chinese food, burger, lasagne, and the rest.

Her mum! Despite their disagreements, she still loved her, but would never admit her feelings to her... Never!  Her mum was like an enemy whom she loved.She wanted to be home with her mom now more than ever. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she shook and sniffled like a little child.

Just then, she heard footsteps entering the kiosk. She tried to stay calm, but wasn’t prepared for the next thing that happened.  Strange hands grabbed her legs, dragging her on bare cold floor. She screamed as his ugly, mean face flashed in the darkness.

Mildred woke up then with a start, almost hitting her mum, who was trying to wake her up.  Nightmares again! Her mum asked in her little worried voice. She had to shift from Mildred’s bedside to avoid getting hit by her troubled child.

Mildred was still panting. She had seen him again; she had seen his ugly, terrifying face as he dragged her by her foot and ripped her clothes. Though he was now behind bars and may never step his filthy feet out of prison ever again, he continues to torment her in her sleep and when she least expects it. When would these nightmares ever go away? When will she grow past that traumatizing night? The questions echoed in her head as she tried to shake off the bad memory that had become a thorn in her flesh... a burden which has been weighing her down for years. 

Take a deep breath, you are alright my baby, you are at home and you are safe. Nobody can harm you ever again, I promise. Her mum kept on reassuring her, which Mildred found rather irritating. 

Mildred hated to talk about that night, especially with her mum, partly because she blamed her for it and partly because she was no longer that child who was... she hated to think about it. When will these nightmares stop? She asked herself as she grabbed her phone to check the latest online, ignoring her worried mum. 

Her mum watched her silently because she knew Mildred was a delicate and troubled child, the slightest thing could get her upset and she didn't want to start the day on a sas note. Though it was quite obvious she wasn't Mildred's favorite parent, nevertheless, she  had tried her best to draw close to her after the death of her father, but there had been no progress. Mildred treated her like a stranger, like a nuisance, but she tried her best to be understanding, to be her shoulder to lean on. Her poor child had lost both her father and her innocence at the same time. Now, the little sweet sensitive Mildred was gone and a cold angry young woman had replaced her. But she would not stop trying to help her till she had her baby back. 

MiImi, I made breakfast myself today. I baked some buns, fried Irish potato with egg sauce, and fried meat. It all looks delicious. Can’t you just have breakfast with me? Like other families do? Her mum pleaded. 

That would have gotten to Mildred years ago when she was still a teenager. But not now. She was a grown-up, not really a grown-up, she was still in her early 20s. But she liked to call herself a grown woman. She didn’t want to be a child or to be treated like a child by anyone, especially not her mum. Mildred hated anything or anyone that reminded her of being a child.

Why do you have to ignore me? I am not your enemy, Milmi When will you stop treating me like one? I am your mum and you can tell me whatever you are going through. If it is about that night, we can talk about it. Don’t shut me out! You can't continue to be this angry child living in the bondage of the past. I won't let you

Not again, Mildred screamed in her head. I need my privacy mum, I am an adult now. I have no intention of discussing anything with you. If I want to eat with you, I will let you know. She said in the calmest voice even though her eyebrows were squeezed like she was about to lose it at any moment. 

My baby, your father wouldn’t be happy with what you have become...

Mum, please leave my room and let me be! I am not your baby anymore. I find your constant worry rather irritating and I cannot keep up with this constant disturbance. You need to leave my room! Let me have my peace! Mildred screamed at her mum. 

Her mum just sat there dumbfounded, wondering where her little angel had gone to. 

Why did he die if I was so important to him? If he hadn’t died, you wouldn’t have to pretend you cared about me, caus you never did! And all the horrible things that happened to me wouldn’t have happened. They wouldn’t! Mildred broke down.

Her mum watched her sob and her motherly instinct told her to go closer and console her sobbing child. But Mildred didn't give her that chance, she screamed with all her might, which startled her mum, so she had no choice but to let her insane daughter be. She walked out of the room but didn’t leave completely. She stood by the door watching her daughter as she took in sharp breaths; it was almost as if she couldn’t breathe. Something was terribly wrong with her poor child and she didn’t know what to do. It hurt her really bad to see Mildred in that miserable state and to make it worst there was no hope of improvement. Will she remain this bitter forever? She wondered as she shut the door silently after her. Feeling downcast she strolled to the dining room to eat all by herself, again!

Poor Mildred was now a terror to her mum. She barely listened to anyone or cared about other's feelings. She was like an untamed wolf, ready to attack when provoked and all of her employees feared her. Mildred’s mum sank into her dining chair as she worried about her only daughter. The dining room was one of her favorite parts of the house. It had this Persian design that made their affluence rather obvious. It was like her own palace, exquisite and glamorous. She took pride in designing it herself, but today it held no beauty to her as she brooded over the persistent problem that had become a part of their lives- Mildred. She had tried to get help for her poor daughter, but all the therapists she had employed were either after their money or name.

They had one of the most powerful names in the country, though her husband was no politician. He was simply a very wealthy man who owned various businesses and properties all over the country. He was the owner of the Davis Daily Mall, which was the biggest shopping mall in the city of Enugu, and they had other branches in various other cities. It did not surprise her that all the therapists were more interested in digging dirt on them and never really took their time to treat her daughter. She had expected nothing less from a country that wasn’t working, a country where people started businesses just to dupe others. A place where people made money from others’ misery. If only Mildred had accepted to be flown outside the country for treatment, this problem would have been a thing of the past. But she insisted on staying back here because being here made her feel closer to her dead father.  Still, at the dining table, she bit one of the fried meat she had prepared, and it was too spicy for her to chew, so she spat it out. She was a horrible cook! The maid was called in to take out the meat that she had spat out. She sighed, well it was a good thing Mildred hadn’t accepted her offer to eat the horrible breakfast she made. But that wasn’t what bothered her now. Her major problem now was finding Mildred real help before she got out of hand.

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Mildred loved to take long walks around her beautiful street. Every corner of the street held beautiful, fun and sensitive memories of her dead father, memories she didn't want to let go.  When her father was alive, she often went on long walks with him, and he told her stories about her grandparents and how they had started from a small laundry shop into  a hugely successful mall scattered all over the country,  because of his mum’s good managerial skills. He always talked about his mother like he adored her, and Mildred had never heard her father talk fondly about her mother.  Was her mum that horrible a mother and a wife? she often wondered.

She could still remember how her father's eyes glowed with compassion whenever he spoke about his mum's determination, motherly care,  industrious spirit. And Mildred often wished she had met her when she was alive, so she would have also had a taste of what true motherly care was. What did it matter now? Her father was dead and she could no longer listen to his stories, or go for the long strolls not after what had happened to her years ago. Now, her mum’s driver had to drive her around the street like she was some kind of prisoner. She felt like a little bird in a cage that could only dream of flying. She