Beyond the Book: A Suicide Mission

By Aditi Chauhan

So you're telling me that I'm just a fictional character? I live in the pages of your stupid book? I'm not real? Was my life a joke to you? Everything's a lie. Everything. And it's your fault. Everything is your fault, Lucy Bobbins. I live a pathetic and miserable life, crying everyday, and you get paid for it. People enjoy my sadness and you're its creator. I hate you, Lucy Bobbins. Let my words rest in your head. I hate you."
In the end, will Alaric reach home, or will he remain entangled within the perils of this world? And what mystery awaits him in this journey? Find out at your own risk.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Jul 13, 2022
• ISBN: 9781543770766

Book preview

1

They say that guys cry only thrice in their life - When they are born, when their parents die and when they lose their country.

And then, there’s me.

Y ou can’t be my son! You’re short, you’re weak, you’re too girlish, you’re a nerd, and you can’t do anything right! If you want to fight, at least win! A newborn baby can win a fight against you! You aren’t a man, not even close. Men don’t cry, nor do they feel pain. Men do not hang fairy lights in their room and paint their walls pink! You’re not a man. You’re worthless. That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t care what you think of me, I said, expressionlessly, my lips pursed in a straight line, my hands curling into fists as my anger was turned into rage. I quietly turned away and walked up to my room.

I broke down the minute the door closed behind me. When I said I didn’t care about what he thought of me, I lied. His words mean everything. And they hurt. I saw the brown, rolled up wallpaper on the floor, and took off my old one. If he wants this, then so be it. I took off all the fairy lights, tore down the drapes over my bed, cleared the decorations on my desk, and put up the brown wallpaper. I groaned in disgust, looking around the room. It was filled with revolting shades of brown and grey, a dryness lurking in it. I despised it, but I kept my feelings deep inside and sealed them shut. I hope he softens a bit after seeing this. Somehow, I still hoped that in his heart, I was more than a money-making machine and a punching bag. I quickly changed my clothes, getting ready for my shift at the café. I was about to open the door, but he had already come in, observing the surroundings carefully. A desperate attempt. Get out. He growled. I hung my head low and walked out of the house, getting on my cycle to go to work. I’m useless, aren’t I?

I walked in and got to work without speaking a word. Alaric, I know you’re normally quiet but at least say ‘Hello’. Did anything happen? Was it your dad? I took a deep breath in, trying to control my tears. Men don’t cry, nor do they feel pain. Albert, can you please just leave me alone for a while? I asked, tired already. He nodded and walked away, dragging his feet as he went towards the others. Tim, Joe, I don’t think Alaric’s okay. Do you think we should go to his house and talk to his dad? He asked the other two. Let’s observe him for a week. If he gets over it, then it’s fine, but if not, it’s something serious. Tim replied, while Joe just stared at me worriedly. I went on with my work, avoiding eye contact and answering in single-syllables. I just wanted to be alone at that time. A person walked up to me as I asked, Order? Three lattes. The guy answered. His voice sounded familiar, but I remained unbothered, my eyes never leaving the dull computer screen.

I went with the coffee to the table where the three guys were seated. All of them were from my school. You see, in school, I was at the bottom of the food chain and these guys were at the top. To put it simply, they are bullies. And I’m the one who gets bullied. I quietly went to their table and put the coffee on it. One of the three grabbed the cup and spilt the hot liquid all over the other. The third one called the manager. So, these guys are stooping down to this level? That’s sad. I just stood there, not uttering a word, as the manager of the café scolded me. I remained indifferent, his words going in one ear and out the other. He left after ordering me to clean up the mess. I got to work when the guy in the corner started an Instagram live. Perfect timing, ain’t it? What happened next, overstepped the boundaries. He turned his camera to me and started recording. I was enraged. I snatched his phone harshly and ended the live. Tertiary breach of Privacy, boy. Be glad no information about me was revealed, or I would sue you. Clean your mess yourself. I threw the coffee-soaked cloth onto his face and walked away from there. I went out the back door, not planning on entering again, for today, at least. Little did I know, Joe was watching from behind. I took off my apron and left it on the hanger. I held my earnings in my hand and clenched the paper notes. I don’t want to go home. He’ll take everything away. I made a sharp turn and walked into Liam’s house. Liam Hudson is one of my four friends. I need to stay for the night, I said, not bothering for pleasantries. He, fortunately, understood that I needed to be alone and opened the door, letting me in. I walked up to the guest room, wanting to let it all out, not looking back.

Liam POV

I saw Joe from the corner of his eyes and waited for Alaric to go before letting him in.

Joe POV

I heard a soft ‘click’ coming from the guest room. He locked the door, didn’t he? I heard small sobs coming from right behind it. It’s serious. He’s never cried like this.

Alaric POV

I locked the door and went straight in for a roller-coaster ride. I tried to be as quiet as possible, so as to not disturb Liam. It hurts. A lot. I cried for a whole three hours, and I finally went to sleep, my phone’s battery dead. Somehow, I could relate to my phone. I felt dead, too. No light left in my life. How stupid. Alaric Fox, relating to inanimate objects.

The Next Morning

Liam POV

Joe had left for the others after checking on Alaric, and we needed to go to school now. Luckily, I had an extra school uniform, and I gave it to him after waking him up.

On the phone

Joe: How’s he doing?

Me: He didn’t even say good morning.

Joe: Did he at least sleep well?

Me: He had a very shallow sleep. Not something that would get you ready for the next day. His face was a red hue.

Joe: Then don’t you think he should go home?

Me: From behind the door, I heard him say something like ‘does dad not love me anymore?’ I think there’s a wedge between him and his father. It’s not a good idea to let him go home just now. And he needs to be around people. He’s already getting ready for school.

Joe: Keep an eye on him and call me if something happens. I trust you.

Me: Okay.

Call ended

I followed him, maintaining a safe distance. Who knows when he’ll snap?

Alaric POV

I walked in to be greeted by a hand grabbing my hair harshly and throwing me down. My bag was snatched, and I looked up to see him, William Jones. Know your place, he growled. I looked at him, staring intently. His big doe eyes, long, flowing black locks, the cute mole under his bottom lip and his small face. When I looked into his eyes, I saw his expression soften for a brief moment. I still saw a little boy in him, a kid who would sit on the sofa and sip on his banana milk, eyes glued to the TV screen. I saw the little William I always loved, the big baby who would do anything for appreciation and attention. The Willy who would shamelessly steal my underwear just to annoy me.

I wonder where it went wrong.

I was dragged out of my thoughts when I heard a loud rip, books falling everywhere. I was driven up the wall. William, stop it! I raised my hand and lowered it immediately when I came back to my senses. Alaric Fox, he might hate you but don’t you dare raise your hand on your younger brother. Soon enough, I heard a loud slap. I looked up, shocked. William’s eyes were teary. Does he still care after all? I looked to his left and saw an angry Liam. Liam, no, I begged. He didn’t reply. He pulled me up and handed me my books before dragging William into an empty classroom with him. I ran to the room, but couldn’t enter as Liam had locked the door shut. I looked around, and people stared at me. Get the heck out of here! I hurled as I pressed my ear against the classroom door. Surprisingly, I didn’t hear anything signifying a fight. I heard sobs and Liam’s whispers, trying to comfort the younger. What? Did I miss something important? I pressed my ear harder against the door, and I heard Liam speaking. I know this is a lot for you, Will. But I’m going through the same thing too. You can’t blame him because of all of this. It’s not anybody’s fault. You care about him, don’t you? Alaric? He loves you dearly, and you need to understand that this is not you, this is us. Don’t isolate yourself and blame others when you know that we can pull through this together. Come here, bring it in. I heard soft pats. At last, they’re hugging. The sobs just got louder until they became cries. I couldn’t bear to listen anymore, it was too painful. I’m confused. What’s happening? I walked to class and focused on the physics lecture for the first time in my life. It wasn’t intentional, though. Just a coping mechanism, a desperate attempt to get my mind off of the other two.

I was sitting alone in the cafeteria, as always, but then the duo came along. Liam sat next to me while Will sat on the far end of the table, his head down. I stared at him with desolation, as I felt a hand pat my shoulder. I turned to Liam who gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded at him and slowly got up, walking over to where the younger was. I sat next to William, trying to process my own thoughts, muddled in my brain. After a few minutes, I finally said hello. His movements stopped, his fork in his frozen hand, but he still didn’t look up. I tried to make conversation, but he would reply in a monotonous ‘yes’ or ‘no’, still not lifting his head. So, this is how the others feel when I behave like this? I sighed and turned his face towards mine, cupping his cheeks. His face was red, lips and cheeks swollen, marked with fresh tears, his eyes puffy and hair messy. Are you crying? Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?