A Warrior's Soul

By Michelle Edwards

Losing Liam brought two families together to heal. Death is a normal part of the military for Logan. It's even becoming normal for civilian Sadie who has lost almost every one she's cared about. Secrets are brought to light and promises can't be kept if the military is involved.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Crazy Ink
• Release date: Feb 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386702078

Michelle Edwards

MICHELLE EDWARDS is the author-illustrator of Chicken Man, winner of the National Jewish Book Award, several other acclaimed picture books, and the Jackson Friends series, which includes Pa Lia's First Day, a Parent's Guide to Children's Media Award winner, Zero Grandparents, and The Talent Show. She lives with her family in Iowa City.

Book preview

Chapter One

Logan

I drove down the highway toward the coast; my body ached and my head was pounding. Just nine hours ago I had received the news that my brother was killed in action. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my baby brother and he was blood. My ten hour shift had just ended; I didn’t think, I didn’t even change out of my uniform. I just threw my clothes into a bag, signed out and left.

I banged my hands on the steering wheel as I ran through what the next few weeks would be like. I hadn’t seen my family in months; I had only spoken to my mother a handful of times on the phone. Damn it! I screamed. The anger and pain that was inside of me felt like it was taking over. Why did he have to follow in my footsteps? Why did he have to be so stubborn when my mother told him not to do it? Why did I have to lie to her and tell her he would be fine?

My eyes narrowed in on the illuminating light in the distance against the dark sky. It was a fire of some sort, but it looked to be on the other side of the trees. I focused on the highway, glancing over in the direction of the fire every few seconds.

The flames and smoke burned my eyes. The smell was awful and I had to hold myself from puking. I scanned the room; bodies lay on the floor, partly burned. I shook my head and walked back outside into the hot desert sun.

Hey bro! Liam waved at me from the group he was standing in. He smiled brightly in my direction, and I just couldn’t help but smile back as I walked over to him.

How’s it going? I nodded at the other soldiers standing next to him.

Good. He wasn’t much of a talker when he was out and about working, I understood that completely.

Be safe, and write mom, will ya? She’s been nagging at me about it, I huffed.

I will. I’ll have a letter out to her in a few days, Liam replied smiling.

I hugged him goodbye and jogged back over to my platoon.

I lifted my foot from the gas, jerked the steering wheel to the right crossing two empty lanes until I was fully stopped on the shoulder of the road so I could fling my door open. My dinner had come back up fierce.

When I was sure I was good, I got back into my car and merged back onto the highway. Hours went by, I could already feel how exhausted my body was, but I kept driving until the night turned to day. Windows down, I could already smell the fresh ocean air, and I knew I was almost home.

The neighborhood looked the same, a few more cars in some areas, and a few less in others. The familiar house appeared in my view and I breathed in deep preparing for the worst.

Logan! my younger sister Lucy yelled running out to me. She was Liam’s twin, born only a couple minutes after him, making her the baby of our family.

I squeezed her tight. She was the mirror image of Liam, the smile, the eyes. I could only imagine how this must be for my mom. To me, it felt like a stab in the chest.

How are mom and dad? I asked as I let her out of my grip.

Dad is, well, dad. He’s keeping himself busy with this or that. Mostly just trying to take care of everything that we don’t need right now. Mom is holding up okay. I hear her crying at night most of the time. During the day she’s on the phone with someone, so she isn’t crying as much, Lucy explained.

I nodded, grabbed my bag, and followed her to the front door. I took another deep breath as I walked into the house. Home. A safe haven, but yet I was terrified to be here. Especially today. Setting my bag down by the door, I figured I would need both arms.

Logan! Oh my gosh! You’re here! My mother squealed from the kitchen. She came rushing in past Lucy and pulled me into one of those tight ‘I’ll never let you leave’ hugs.

Of course I’m here, where else do you think I would be? I questioned near disbelief.

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I just didn’t think you would get here so early. We just found out a couple days ago.

I nodded, walking her into the kitchen. And I’ll be damned if I was going to spend another full day on post while you were here. I cleared it with my officer. Death in the family like this trumps a lot, especially for a fellow soldier. I explained as calmly as I could.

I’m just glad you are here, she sighed.

I walked around the counter, shaking my dad’s hand and pulling him into a hug. It was quick, but heartfelt.

Have you been in contact with the funeral home? I hated hearing the words coming from my mouth; they tasted horrible.

Not much, Lucy spoke up. We weren’t sure of the procedures.

Okay, well, first thing tomorrow morning I’ll get on the phone and see what’s going on, I suggested. Not that I didn’t trust my family to do it, but this way they didn’t have to worry about it.

Luc, I have to run to work for a few minutes. Do you guys need anything? a woman asked rounding the corner in my house.

Who are you? The words came out of my mouth so fast I couldn’t have stopped them if I tried.

Logan, this is Sadie, she’s a friend and she was a really good friend of Liam’s, Lucy answered for her like the woman couldn’t speak for herself.

She’s been an angel, my mom added smiling at her.

She was beautiful. Angel-like I guess. Long light brown hair, and those eyes. They were a perfect shade of green.

Can you pick me up some tea from the shop by your office? I’m almost out. my mom asked.

Mom, I can go get your tea. I wasn’t about to have some stranger doing us favors for my family.

Logan, you just got home. Sadie will be right next door to the place, she pointed out.

I looked at the woman standing in the doorway. She smiled, hugged Lucy, and walked out the front door.

So did she just move in or something? I huffed turning back to face my parents.

No, I told you, she’s been here helping. Logan, she is a good person. She loved Liam like a brother and we treat her as family, my mom’s tone was calm, but yet had that motherly stern to it.

How come I’ve never met her before? How come no one has mentioned her before now? I wasn’t giving up that easily.

My dad shuffled around now standing in front of me. His eyes burned through me. You weren’t here, you weren’t around, and you hardly ever called. When were we supposed to mention her or anything else for that matter? She’s here; she’ll be here for as long as she wants and as long as we want. Now drop it.

She seemed to have a huge impact on my entire family.

Chapter Two

Sadie

I just about stumbled out of the house. The look on his face when he saw me made me want to punch him. He had no reason to act like that. I’ve been here since we heard the news about Liam; I have been helping take care of things. A shiver went down my spine as I got into my car and pulled away from the house. My mind drifted to Liam; I couldn’t picture him and Logan getting along. They were so different in so many ways.

Logan was different. He had those muscles that you don’t see often and chocolate brown eyes that made you want to melt. I couldn’t imagine that he didn’t have a girlfriend.

The town hall was located right in the center of town and was in the oldest building. The structure alone draws people in. I walked through the double doors and my breath caught. The sight inside made me stand still just to admire its beauty.

It never changes, you know, the mayor said.

Swinging the books in my arms to my other side, I looked down away from the ceiling and walls to the voice. The mayor stood on the last step on the staircase, hands in his pockets with a smug smile on his face.

I glanced down at my feet, being sure to put one in front of the other, and headed toward him.

It may not change, but it’s still beautiful, and I am always taken back when I walk into the building, I beamed.

He chuckled extending his hands to take the books I was holding.

What’s the big emergency? I questioned.

Oh right, that. Come, he demanded leading the way up the staircase to the second floor. Our offices were located down the left corridor. Part of the reason I even applied here was because of the building, the history. We entered his office at the end of the hall and I quickly took a seat across from his desk.

I know you are going to be in and out, more out than in, and I wanted to ask a few things before everything gets busy for you, he began.

All ears, I noted back.

Do you need us to do anything for the funeral? Shut down roads, close a business to hold the lunch? he asked.

I pushed my hair back and tucked it behind my ear. I... I hadn’t even thought about that yet. I mean it’s not up to me, but I hadn’t brought it up yet either. I would assume maybe have a police escort? He was Military. I inhaled in. How do I do this again? I just did this. I forced back the tears. I couldn’t break down right now.

Absolutely, and whatever else you need, you’ve got. He fought for this country and this town; we take that to heart, he acknowledged.

Thank you. I nodded.

Is this going to be too much for you? He had that serious look again. The exact one I remember from six months ago. The look that I still get from him and others from time to time when the situation is brought up.

No. I’ll be fine. The lie came out faster than I could have imagined. I didn’t even have time to think of a different answer.

Okay, good. Well, for the other emergency, I wanted to get the newsletter out early next week. Any way you’ll be able to grab some photos from the festival this weekend for us? Oh and is my speech okay? I didn’t want to bug you to write it so I had Janet do it, he explained, jumping right into full mayor work mode.

I nodded. Yes, I can grab some photos this weekend. I read the speech, and I sent you an email last night with a few changes that I made in red. Other than that, it’s great. I smiled.

And you’ll be there early? he questioned.

Robert, I’ve got it all covered. I will be there early on to make sure everything is set up; I’ll have everything ready for you. This isn’t my first rodeo. I bit the inner part of my lip and tilted my head.

You say that every time, he noted.

That’s because it’s true. Now stop worrying. If that’s it, I’m going to grab a few things and head back, I replied grabbing my purse off the floor.

Of course. He nodded.

I stood up and walked to the door. I could feel his eyes staring at me, and I still wasn’t sure if it was flattering or just creepy.

The sun almost blinded me when I stepped outside onto the sidewalk. I walked next door to the shop; the scent of honey and mint hit me hard as I walked in. I quickly gathered what I wanted, paid and left. I didn’t want to spend too much time out. Lucy had her moments and so did her mom. I felt that I had to be there for them like they were for me.

Chapter Three

Logan

I walked around the house and took in being home. It had been well over a year since I had been home, so part of me felt uncomfortable, like an outsider looking in.

The front door opened and there she was again. Sadie.

Back so soon? I asked walking across the living room to the foyer where she stood. She had a couple of bags in her hand and a bag slung across her body.

Still here? she replied sounding annoyed.

This is my family. I crossed my arms leaning against the doorway.

You don’t like me, I get it. That’s fine. I’m not here to be your best friend. I’m here for the family. When they tell me to leave, I will. She kicked off her shoes and walked past me into the kitchen.

They are mourning; they shouldn’t be hosting a guest, I barked.

She spun around so fast, I had to step back. I am NOT just a normal guest. I’ve spent more time here than you can possibly imagine! Your family was there for me when I needed someone, and I plan to do the same in return, she scolded. And for your information, I am mourning just like they are. She turned back just as fast as she spun to face me and headed toward the kitchen.

I followed, a pain in my chest spiked. I felt bad for her; I felt bad for my family going through this.

I’m sorry, I didn’t know. What happened? I questioned my voice suddenly low.

I’d rather not talk about it. She moved around the counter putting the contents of the bags away. She knew where things belonged. I hated the fact that someone knew my family and I had no idea what their lives have been like for the past year.

I left Sadie in the kitchen and walked into the family room. My dad read while my mom chatted with someone on the phone. The phone was ringing all day. It was driving me nuts.

She’s not all that bad you know. Lucy had walked into my view.

Who? I asked even though I knew who she was referring to.

Sadie. She meant a lot to Liam, and she really has been great to us, Lucy explained. I could tell just by her voice that she cared a lot about Sadie. It seems the entire family did.

Where’s Lucas? I asked.

He only came by once, I, um, I think he’s just kind of keeping his distance. Lucy looked to the floor.

Well, does he plan to come help out with phone calls and such here? I hissed.

Lucy shrugged, I doubt it.

That’s crazy; he should be here with his family. I spun around and bolted up the stairs to change. He was not going to skip out on his family.

I skipped the last few steps as I ran back down now dressed in civilian clothes; rounding the corner I almost fell stopping myself.

You shouldn’t go. Sadie stood with crossed arms in front of the door.

Excuse me? I seethed. Who the hell was she to tell me not to go?

Everyone grieves differently. You try to take charge, Lucy tries to keep everyone on flat ground, your mom talks on the phone, and your dad oversees everything. Lucas is grieving in his way. Trust me. She was calm and didn’t budge.

I don’t need advice from you, I barked.

She sighed, dropping her arms to her sides. At least take someone with you then so you don’t do something stupid.

Great. Get in the car, I suggested.

I meant your sister or dad. She pointed into the family room.

Your suggestion, you get to tag along. I’ll wait. I felt her brush my shoulder as she walked past me into the other room. She smelled of guava and pineapples. She came back, bag slung