Love, Kisses, & Crazy White Jackets

By Amelia Stephen

Not everyone meets their soul mate in their lifetime, but nobody expects to meet their soul mate when theyre in the formative teen years. Growing up feeling invisible, Amelia meets a boy who sees her and makes her feel visible and special. From the first moment she looked into his eyes, she saw a confused, sad, and chaotic soul, yet she had a peaceful acceptance of it.

He soon becomes aggressive toward her, but she doesnt want to give up. Loving him felt right, but she found that staying with him was wrong. The pain of having to let go of the one soul who made her visible and whom she would forever feel connected to forever was a heart-wrenching decision she had to make.

Years later, she receives a letter that doesnt excuse his actions but helps her understand why his soul was so sad, confused, and chaotic.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 16, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524528744

Amelia Stephen

Trisha A. Allan was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, on February 4, 1964. Throughout her life, she lived in many places in the United States. She became interested in writing at the age of ten while writing short stories with her sister Terri. In fourth grade, her teacher had to take away her notebook where she wrote her stories in because she would rather write than do her schoolwork. Trisha graduated from high school in 1982 in Montana. After graduation, she continued to travel and live in other states, finally settling down on the Iron Range of Minnesota. In 1990 she applied for college where she not only attained a degree in criminal justice but also, through college writing courses, was reintroduced to her love of writing. In 2013 she left her career in health care as a surgical instrument tech to dedicate her time to finishing this book. Her decision and reason to write this story about her teen years was to reach out to teenagers who may be going through this similar struggle and to let them know they are not alone. Her message is to use everything that happens as a positive to strengthen and empower themselves. The title was created when she signed a letter to her mother with “Love, Kisses, & Crazy White Jacket.” Trisha is currently working part-time as a property manager. She has two adult children, Karen and Thomas, and two grandchildren, Ian and Keeley. She resides in Minnesota on fourteen acres of land with her husband, Joel, to whom she has been married for twenty-three years. Her goal is to write a book of her original poetry and children’s books.

Book preview

Love, Kisses,

&

Crazy White Jackets

Amelia Stephen

Copyright © 2016 by Amelia Stephen.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016912001

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5245-2876-8

      Softcover      978-1-5245-2875-1

      eBook         978-1-5245-2874-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 08/15/2016

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

746277

Contents

Acknowledgments

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank the other main character in this book for facing the past with me. Thank you, Mitch for reading and validating our past. Most of all, thank you for coming into my life and being a big part of who I am today.

I would like to thank my Children, Karen and Thomas for their support and belief in me. I’d like to thank Rian, for reading the first rough draft and the 8th rough draft years later and giving me your honest opinion. Thank you, Nikki, Jessi, April, Jessica, Carol and John for reading this full story and letting me know you loved it and feel it is a story worth sharing.

Thank you Chris for helping me with some of the computer programs I don’t understand yet. You will have to give me lessons. Thank you Naomi for bringing my vision of my book covers to life. You did an amazing job!

I want to give a very special thanks to my husband Joel for putting up with my endless hours of work and the support and understanding you gave when some of this became too hard to face.

T his story is based on some true events. All names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and the downright insane.

T his is dedicated to a troubled, but beautiful time of my life and to all the people who went through the teen years with me. To all we’ve known and done; cheers. This is also for all the people who believe that the difference between a soul mate and true love is; one is a choice the other one isn’t. To all you’ve known and done; cheers.

Chapter One

T he house seemed so empty on that spring morning. The birds were finally able to chirp their spring songs. The sun showed into the open windows allowing the warm rays to be felt on my body as I began to dust the coffee table. It was hard to see through the tears that started to flow. I felt alone and missed my children living at home. I had often heard others talk about the Empty Nest Syndrome, but I never thought I would go through it. The fact that it was the four year anniversary date of my dad dying in my arms didn’t help matters. Anxiety took over. Panic struck me and I couldn’t catch my breath. The dust spray fell to the floor as I rushed to the back screen door to stick my head out in hopes the April air could help me calm down. Missing the parts of me who my world rotated around was a familiar feeling I didn’t like. Was I ever going to be able to do all the little things I did with my kids while they were growing up, without them now? Everything crowded me at once. My husband was at work, my daughter Karen lived an hour away and she most likely was working too. My son Thomas lived in Missouri and I didn’t want to call him because he’d feel partly responsible for my sadness.

Tears streamed down as I reminded myself to breathe. I went in and sat on the living room floor with the spring air mixing with the lemon scent of the dust spray. My whole life was changing again and knowing it was inevitable that I didn’t have the control to turn back the time to when they were little again, made the sadness more intense. As the tears flowed and my breathing slowly regulated, the phone rang. Hoping it was one of the kids I desperately lunged for it. I pushed the talk button and put the phone to my ear. As I listened, I sat back on the floor crying and filled with happiness as I listened to that old familiar song play on the other end of the phone line. It was Mitch. Babe, by Styx played in my ear. After all these years and all we had been through, we still had the sixth sense we shared back then.

The tears stopped as I quietly whispered his name into the phone. Memories poured back and I laid back on the floor thinking about the first time I ever looked into Mitch’s dark brown eyes. It was the early eighties. I was a teenager who didn’t know that I didn’t know everything.

Amelia, see that guy sitting with Kevin at that table over there? My sister, Kelly asked pointing midway across the cafeteria.

Looking up from my salad, I answered, Yea.

I dare you to take this pack of crackers, smash them up, and pour them down the back of his shirt. She handed me the two packs of saltines from her salad.

I smirked. My inner voice was laughing, No problem!

My friends laughed. Our friend, Kent shook his head. I noticed the look on his face when he got up to empty his tray. Under his breath I heard him mutter, You’d have to be nuts to mess with him. Something in the way he said it along with his facial expressions made me question my inner voice. Not for long though, like usual I shrugged it off and took the dare. Besides, Doug the Janitor double dared me. He volunteered to hold the kid down so I could get a head start getting away. Doug was a short, stocky man. His muscular forearms looked like Popeye’s. His round body was all muscle and the definition of his leg muscles could be seen in the tight slacks of his dark blue uniform.

I smashed the crackers as I walked over to the table. The stranger was sitting with some of my guy friends. They were talking and stuffing their faces. Doug went ahead of me. He walked up behind the kid, putting his hands on the kid’s shoulders. He greeted everyone at the table by name. I came up behind Doug and opened the packages then quickly pulled the back of the kid’s shirt open, dumping the crumbs down.

Son-of-a-bitch! he cried out. He squirmed around Doug as his chair flew back. I could tell by the distance the chair slid he wasn’t happy.

I took off out of the cafeteria hearing my sister Kelly and my friends laughing. I could hear him running after me. I ran into the nearest girl’s bathroom thinking I’d be safe. In an instant my short, petite body was being held against the wall by the stranger’s hands on my shoulders. My hazel eyes were looking into his mad, dark brown eyes. His dark complexion matched his dark brown, shoulder length hair which shined in the florescent light. It was neatly feathered back and styled. When I looked him in the eye there was a sense of familiarity like I have known him forever. I couldn’t stare this stranger in the eyes anymore. I looked down at his army pants and tennis shoes. I should smack the shit out of you! Who the hell are you? he bellowed, You’re lucky you’re cute because could put you through this wall.

I was regretting doing this to someone I didn’t know anything about. I thought for sure he was going to do what he said he could and drill me through the wall into the boy’s bathroom.

He let go of me, I have to get the crumbs out of my pants now. He opened the door then turned to me, It was really crummy meeting you. The door slammed behind him.

My heart was pounding. I was shaking which seemed unbelievable that anyone besides my dad could scare me. I was the person people came to when they needed a fighter. Even though I was only five-foot-two and a hundred and twenty-seven pounds, I didn’t get intimidated too easy. The way he scared me was an adrenaline rush. It was like a rollercoaster and he made me want to take another ride. This cocky kid aroused my challenging personality.

When I got back into the cafeteria, I entered with caution. I didn’t know why when I was sure he was still busy getting the crumbs out of his pants. Everyone at the table cheered as I walked to the table.

Doug came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, I’m sorry he got away. He’s one snaky little dude. He slightly massaged my shoulders.

I sat down across from my sister. Doug, he’s probably a hundred and forty pounds, if even, to your two hundred and forty? I responded.

You’re close. I was really trying to hold him, but he was just too quick. I won’t let it happen again, he said giving a wink.

I turned to look up at him, You better not, I teased as if there would be another time.

We left the cafeteria before the guy came back. It was a nice day so we went out to enjoy it before we had to sit through more boring classes.

On the way home on the bus, Kelly informed me the guy I had done that to was the Mitch she met a month ago. She also said she hoped he would have punched me because she knew he had a temper and she was still upset with me for some dumb reason. It didn’t shock me.

The next morning I went to the cafeteria to meet my friends for breakfast. A couple of them wanted to copy my sociology homework. While waiting for my best friend Lisa to show up, Mitch walked in the door. Our eyes locked onto each other like radar. He was walking toward me. At first I couldn’t move. It was as if his stare paralyzed me. I quickly mustered the strength to look away and moved to the other side of the table putting a barrier between us.

A smile filled my face as he neared me, "You’re not feeling a bit crumby today are you? I joked.

He leaned on the table with both hands. I could see the veins bulging in his strong arms, Why’d you do that to me yesterday? His face was expressionless making it impossible to tell if he was still upset. While trying to read his body language, he jumped over the table and stood in front of me. When I was getting the crumbs out of my pants I was wondering if I knew you or if we met before? Did I piss you off in another life? He had kind of a pout thing going with his bottom lip, Why’d you do it?

I smiled, I was dared by someone who I refuse to name. Plus I thought Doug would do a better job of holding you down. And believe me Buckwheat, if you knew me in another life, you’d remember it. I wondered if maybe he was feeling the same familiarity in my eyes that I had seen in his.

He smirked, What’s your name?

I backed away from him, Amelia.

Well Amelia, I hope I can see you more in this lifetime. I think we’re in the stars.

His words sounded romantic. I wasn’t sure what they meant, but I was eager to stick around to find out.

Wait, I said when he turned to leave, what’s your name? I acted like I didn’t already know it.

Mitch Bauer.

I watched him walk away. I admired his gorgeous hair and wanted to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked. His nice body showed strength. He was about four inches taller than me and his nice butt was definitely a bonus.

Kent saw me staring at Mitch. He looked at me then stood up smashing his milk carton, Don’t get involved with him. He’s bad news. I watched him throw his carton in the trash and walk out of the cafeteria.

Mitch was on my mind a lot. I was having enough problems with my boyfriend Rob. He went to our rival school and he got jealous too easy. We were the same age, but he looked like he was in his mid-twenties. Mom really liked him. Dad didn’t.

I met Rob roller skating. He was tall and had a muscular build with a little waist and tight stomach. He had a great smile and green eyes. His light brown hair had a slight wave to the thickness of it.

Some of my friends wanted him to ask them to skate during the couple skate. When he asked my friend Layla, we were all disappointed. While he skated with her, he asked her about me. He said he saw me yell at a guy while we were in line and didn’t know if he should approach me. I guess I couldn’t blame him because I didn’t hold back on the guy.

I was with Rob for two months. I was already confused if I really liked him or if I just wanted to go out with him because my friends liked him too. It was a competition thing and now that I had him, I felt I had lost.

Our relationship was going terrible. He was hanging around an older woman from the apartment complex he lived in. She was into the practice of voodoo and introduced him into the drug scene. He told me about the acid trips they went on together. She read his tarot cards and said it was in his future to kill a girl he really liked. That gave me the willies.

Lisa liked Rob until I told her about his drug use. She thought it was time I dropped him just as I felt she and Ellen should get rid of their boyfriends, Bobby Jo and Clyde. In my opinion, Lisa and Ellen were too good for them. Lisa and Ellen were beautiful girls and belonged to a higher class than their boyfriends. They could do better than those two characters.

Lisa had naturally golden hair that she kept curled and styled. She was shorter than me by an inch and was thin. She was always concerned by her appearance and wouldn’t go anywhere without make-up, her hair done, and her clothes neat. People labeled her as a Miss Prissy, but I labeled her my best friend.

Ellen was taller than Lisa and I. She had the same shade of auburn hair that I did. She dressed nice and kept herself neat as well. She always had a smile on her face and positive attitude. Ellen was my age and Lisa was a year younger than us. Their relationships ended with Bobby Jo and Clyde soon after I met them.

I found myself thinking about my relationship with Rob more and more. It wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted. I wanted mystery and excitement and I finally met the one who could give me both.

Rob and I met down the street from my house. We sat on the grass where I caught my bus every morning. When he saw me, he knew something was wrong. He wanted more out of our relationship and told me he wanted to marry me in a couple years. When he said those words to me, I set him straight. We didn’t stand a chance because he was so bitter about his parents divorcing. Besides, we were too young to think about marriage.

I too had a dim view on marriage because my mom and dad were living under the same roof, but lived like they were strangers. Matter-of-fact, everyone in our house lived like total strangers. My parents were distant and had different interests. I don’t think the other cared to try to enjoy each other anymore. This added to the tension in our house.

I didn’t feel the same way about Rob as he felt about me. He didn’t like what I was saying about our families and how he had changed so much since he was hanging around a woman I called the Voodoo lady. He was experimenting with some bad drugs and I didn’t want any part of it. He stood up and brushed his pants off then got in his mom’s car and took off.

I took a walk down the hill I lived on. I kicked a rock for a few blocks then picked it up and tossed it. I watched it fly through the air until I lost track of it.

Hey! someone shouted.

I jumped thinking I had hit someone.

A penny for your thoughts, the same voice said.

I looked around to see the person who was talking to me. It was Mitch. I didn’t want to show him how thrilled I was to see him, but in a way I wanted to tell him that I had been thinking so much about him.

Is something wrong? he asked.

Not really. I just broke up with my boyfriend.

Bummer, he said glancing at his shoes. His tone was far from sympathetic.

I glanced down too, Not really, I explained, it wasn’t one of those relationships that was, as you put it the other day, In the stars, you know?

Can I walk you home?

Trying not to act too enthusiastic, I nodded.

Where do you live?

I pointed up the hill, Way up there.

What are you doing down here? Did you go to the mall or somewhere?

I kicked a bottle cap that was at my feet, I wanted to clear my head and think about things. I’d rather go for a drive when I feel restless, but my dad has the car. Besides, asking my dad for the keys is like telling him he has to get his teeth pulled without anesthesia. I looked at Mitch with a smirk on my face, Actually I think he’d rather get his teeth pulled.

As we walked up the giant hill he asked me about Rob. Not wanting to bore him, I told him the short version. We talked about different topics too keeping it superficial because we didn’t know each other too well yet. The times we were silent, we both fidgeted. I would bite my lip and he repeatedly stuck his hands in his pockets only to take them out again. He noticed his fidgeting and kept his hands in his jean pockets until we reached my street. I hoped he didn’t notice my nervousness too.

In no time at all we were walking toward my house. I could feel him looking at me and couldn’t help but return the looks. You know I just realized you are the first person in my life who has ever asked me what I was thinking, I said breaking the awkwardness of our glances.

What?

Down there you said, A penny for your thoughts. Did you really want to know what I was thinking or was it your way of breaking the ice?

No. You looked distant. I really wanted to know. Did you tell me what you were really thinking about?

I didn’t want him to know I was thinking about him and the fact he was one of the reasons I broke up with Rob. I didn’t know too much about him and didn’t want to scare him off because he may not have had the same feelings for me. I smiled at him and answered, Yea.

I’ve lived here since I was seven. I’ve never seen you before. Are you new?

I’m originally from Minnesota. I’ve lived in many states. We moved around a lot. While I talked, the look on his face became one of sheer panic. He quickly grabbed me, pulling me behind a truck on the side of the street.

I looked at him in confusion, What are you doing?

He peered around the truck, That girl over there standing against that dark green car. I know her, he whispered.

I peeked too, So do I. She’s my sister.

What? She’s your sister? he retorted in disbelief.

Yea, I replied, She’s my older sister and has talked about you.

He let go of my arm, I can’t believe she’s your sister. I actually was coming up the hill to see her. I met her the night of my cousin’s funeral. I was bummed out and she came over to my friend Kevin’s house with Anna and Wanda. We drank a lot and I really wanted to forget reality for a while. It was stupid I know. The next morning Kevin told me we had sex. He turned away and continued, I gave her my phone number and she gave me hers. She calls me sometimes and I talk to her at school but I don’t consider us going together. He looked at me and ran his fingers through his hair, Does that sound cold?

It doesn’t sound cold. It just isn’t how she might see it. I sat down on the curb behind the truck.

He sat beside me, I came to see her to let her know I only want to be friends. I have too much going on in my life. Shame gleamed on his face and in his words.

The warm breeze blew mildly and the sun was starting to set. The Missoula sunset was more glorious than ever. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was sharing it with him. Mitch looked saddened. Are you okay? I asked.

Ever since the first time I looked into your eyes I haven’t been able to think of anything else. The echo of his words exuded nervousness, It was like a spark, an automatic connection I have never felt with anyone in my life. I can’t explain it. It was as if I already knew you and we weren’t meeting for the first time. Our eyes locked, Will you go out with me? he nervously blurted.

I felt like doing the jig right there. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs that the guy I couldn’t get out of my mind liked me too. Then reality hit like a Mack truck. My sister was going to get hurt and I didn’t want to be responsible for that hurt. My hysterical fit of happiness was now replaced with a knot in my stomach.

Say something Amelia, he said softly.

I looked at him and shook my head. I don’t know what we’re going to do. I can’t believe you didn’t know we were sisters. I smiled a half smile and looked down at my feet.

How was I supposed to know? You don’t look alike. She has blonde hair, fair skin, different body shape, and from what I’ve seen, you don’t act alike. She never mentioned she had a sister and you acted like you didn’t know anything about me. Baffled by the reality it looked like the Mack truck struck him too.

We sat in silence. He reached for my hand and held it with his warm, strong hand. I could see he was feeling badly about this. I don’t say how I feel too often unless I’m angry and sometimes not even then. The day we met, I went home and listened to a song called, Make It, With You" it’s on the Best of Bread album."

I interrupted, I have it.

The next time you listen to it listen closely because it’s how I have felt about you since the day we met. His voice was calm.

I stared at his lips wanting them on mine. When we looked into each other’s eyes, it seemed we could see each other’s souls. His eyes had a calming acceptance, but sadness about them. I had never felt like this before and it had nothing to do with wanting to hurt my sister at all. This connection I was feeling with Mitch was strong and unexplainable. What are we going to do about Kelly?

I don’t want to hurt her. I think I’ll tell her I bumped into you on the street and you showed me where she lived. I will talk to her so she understands I only want her friendship. He took a deep breath, I want to see you again. I hope this goes well and the stars really are on our side.

That is what we did. We stood up and saw Kelly looking the opposite way. We got in the middle of the street as if we had been walking down it and never stopped. I left them outside and went into the house leaving the front door open.

We lived in a duplex. Right inside the front door was an entry with dark and light brown tiles. A small table graced the area with a vase of beautiful flowers. To the far left was a closet and mom always made sure we had a separate rug to place our shoes when we took them off. To the right inside the door, was the split staircase going down to all the bedrooms, laundry room and one of the bathrooms. On the landing of the first set