Missed Out

By Morsheda Amin

Life is a gift. Most of us are incapable of receiving it as a gift because fear of failure, loss makes us hard, dry at heart. A dry heart appears to be narcissistic. In this book Evoline realized that she is a narcissistic human being and she missed out on the gift called life unknowingly. Her childhood hardship shaped her to be a control freak so she can survive. But this survival mechanism became her attitude. It is sad that it was too late when she realized she needed to correct her mindset. Evoline’s young husband Henry, on the other hand, ended up being a better human being through the discomforting companionship with Evoline. All characters here are very thirsty to recognize what works for life. Henry’s son Cooper is an amazing young man who guides his dad. His girlfriend is a beautiful sweet young lady who understands Cooper perfectly fine. In this book, not only emotional inadequacy is described but also a phenomenal social injustice is introduced. Characters came across this injustice and got engaged to resolve it. Henry finally found his life’s mission and he is happier than ever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669834908

Morsheda Amin

I love poetry. I have been admiring poetry since I was a child. The admiration put me in front of one question: where does the feeling of love come from? I used to look in the beauty of sky to find my answer. I looked at the beauty of roses to find my answer. It took a long, long time for me to realize that I am magic and I am made of love with so much creative potential inside of me. Now I look back and laugh at my confused mind. It was not actually my fault that I couldn’t see my power like a tree doesn’t think about the fertility of the soil. But we human beings need to think about our power so we can use it righteously better. Now I am a thinker of “magical human inside.” I am fascinated by the magic and write my fascination through my writing.

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Copyright © 2022 by Morsheda Amin.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/21/2022

Xlibris

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Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter One

Day changes into night. Night promises a brand new day. Some days don’t leave without leaving some reminders behind. This OJ Parker avenue is the shortest avenue in this town that is celebrating someone’s wedding today. Evoline is getting remarried at the age of seventy. Guests are her five kids with their spouses and children. There was an agreement around accepting the invitation from the kid’s side. They will not bring the present for the wedding. Evoline said that she doesn’t need any presents because she has enough presents as she owns her house and a business in the downtown. She needs some close relatives to show her future husband. Any wedding is incomplete without the close ones. Her husband never met her children since they are all grown up and live away from the town she lives in. today is the day the groom of the wedding is actually meeting the stepchildren and their spouses. Groom is a fifty years old man who has his own house and a business downtown. Evoline met him at his business. He sells car gas. One of the gas pumps wasn’t working that day. He has to help Evoline to fill up her car’s gas tank. As he was helping with pumping the gas, Evoline asked if he knew any good electrician. He said he himself is an electrician. His name is Henry. One day Henry came to Evoline’s house to check out her electric issues around the house. Issues are taken care of nicely. But Henry continues to come to Evoline’s house. They fell in love with each other. After practicing open love for a few months, they came to this wedding conclusion. Henry has two college going kids who he didn’t invite to the wedding. Evoline didn’t question Henry’s decision. She is kind of happy that she doesn’t have to be judged by the college kids. She doesn’t look young but at heart she is a newly bloomed spring rose. This marriage means a lot to her. Henry decorated Evoline’s house for their wedding ceremony. He put white wedding paper bells everywhere in the house. Best cake of the town was ordered. Food came from the best American restaurant. They will just cut the cake and eat the food with close relatives wearing wedding costumes in the house. The paperwork for the marriage was done at the city hall days ago. First came youngest son Hector with his wife and a toddler. Evoline has three sons and two daughters from her first marriage. The marriage was broken fifteen years ago. Since then he worked hard and bought this house. She was not attached to her children when it came to making money. Children actually raised themselves and left the house at their will when it was time. All of her sons and daughters came to the wedding on time. They will eat, smile, chit-chat and leave. Evoline’s oldest son has grown up kids. Grandkids appreciated grandma’s husband a lot. Grandkids said that Henry is a very handsome man. Evoline appreciated this complement so much. All sons and daughters came without gifts. It is their way of not agreeing with the marriage. But they came since Evoline wanted them to come so much. There are a half a dozen new kids in the family. New kids are introduced. Pictures are taken. Champagne bottles are opened. Henry is bearing the cost of the wedding. Evoline is so proud that finally some man is spending money for her. She also thinks her kids are jealous of her. They thought their mother would die alone. Her marriage is beyond their imagination. She showed her daughters and daughters-in-law all her jewelry that came from Henry. To tell the truth all ladies are speechless. A woman who has saggy breasts and cabinets full of medicine can really have a real husband. True they are jealous. One of the daughters-in-law can’t really stay quiet anymore. Sitting in the living room in front of the boxes of Jewelry she said, Why didn’t he invite his children to the wedding? I heard he has two boys.

Evoline said, they are in the far away school. Henry didn’t want them to miss the school.

Daughter-in-law said, You could have the wedding party when kids are out of school.

Evoline made a sharp eye contact with her daughter-in-law as if she was crossing the boundary and said, it is our marriage. This time of the marriage is suitable for both of us.

One of Evoline’s daughters said, if it is all about two of you, why did you beg us to come? You could get married alone.

Evoline said, this is how you people came to the wedding–without gifts. First I thought it was just to make me feel down, now I know you came here for free food.

The other daughter said, The food was not good. I found a worm in the meat.

Evoline said, and you ate the meat with the worm in it. Why didn’t you stop eating and show me the worm?

It was because I don’t hurt your feelings.—said the daughter.

Why are you hurting it now?—asked Evoline.

It is because you have grown some false pride around the man who is now your husband.—said the daughter.

You are jealous of my husband. My husband is more handsome than your husband.—said Evoline furiously.

You are a prostitute. You brought men into your house and finally you kept the younger one to make us jealous.—said the daughter.

So you are admitting that you are jealous. Forget about me being a prostitute. Credits go on me if am able to be a prostitute at the age of seventy.

Keep your business going. I am leaving.—said the daughter as she brought out a hundred dollar bill from her purse for the cost of the food they ate at the wedding. She put the bill on the coffee table and called her husband who was sitting among brothers in the other room. Henry is trying to understand exactly what is going on. He is the groom. He doesn’t want to be part of the family drama. The daughter came into the room where the men were sitting. She orders the house to be evacuated because their mother insulted her. She starts crying and begging her brothers to leave the house. Evoline doesn’t know what to do. She was blankly looking all over. Her eyes look like the eyes of a blind woman. She is sweating wearing the wedding gown. Her blood pressure rose high. When all really left the house, Henry came to Evoline and asked why she shaked the boat when she knew her daughters and sons don’t appreciate this wedding. Evoline cried with her heart out saying no one understands her. No one really sees that she is also a human being who happened to be a mother. She has the right to be happy like everybody else. Evoline cries and Henry first provides his shoulders, then he takes away his shoulders and gives her soft tissue. Henry is sitting next to Evoline as if he is trying to short out some secret meaning of someone’s painful cry. Evoline cries and keeps saying that life is not fair. Henry is thinking of cleaning the house. The whole house is upside down. He actually has been living in this house since Evoline and him were committed to the relationship. Those wedding guests ate food like animals. Rice all over the house. Dirty tissue is everywhere. None of them finish their food. Almost every plate has leftover food on it. They all act and eat with hatred and absolute disrespect. He went to the bedroom leaving Evoline alone in the living room. He changed his wedding suit into a t-shirt and trousers. He came in the kitchen. Kitchen table is filled with a hundred different foods. He doesn’t know what to do with it. A walk- in refrigerator is needed to save the leftover food. After collecting the garbage and vaquam the place, he put the leftover food back in his car. He is heading to his friend’s sandwich shop where there is a walk-in refrigerator. As soon as he got in the sandwich store, he saw his friend. He asked if he can keep leftover food in the store refrigerator. Friend said he should call him before he came because his refrigerator is full. There is no room at all. Henry has a cousin who lives a few towns away. He called his sister and the sister said that she would love to have the food. Henry drove for an hour. Sister is really happy seeing all that food intact in the containers. He dropped off the food. Sister wanted to know his story but he is not willing to tell anything to anyone. It is almost seven pm and traffic is so terrible. He is hoping that Evoline will call him. No phone calls from her. Henry assures him that she is well. Traffic is so bad he is actually sitting two times in front of the red light. Some accident happened somewhere nearby. Henry is calling Evoline. Evoline is not picking up the phone. She probably is mad at her groom. Henry laughs to himself watching the reality of his second marriage. Evoline is a charmer, plants lover, and a good cook. Henry was surprised to see Evoline’s dressing table. She has all shades of nail polish and lipsticks. She has the most expensive perfume anyone ever can buy. Her walk-in clothing closet is another house. From the day one till today Henry is being treated like a very important guest to Evoline. She laughs at her will and the sound of her laughter is sweeter than a water stream. The closer he gets close to her, the more he is mesmerized by her very comforting vibes. Sometime Henry thought that Evoline was a movie star who retired recently. Henry bought unique rose plants from her. They together improve each other’s houses. Henry has a house a couple towns away. One day Evoline visited the house and made an absolute makeover of the basement of the house. She painted it by herself. She was not tired to run to the Home Depot ten times a day. She herself owns a furniture store. Her furniture extends the beauty of the bigger furniture. Mosty she buys it from China. All fashionable home decorators are her buyers. Evoline knows how to take care of her bodily beauty. She has manicured fingers and pedicured feet. Her hair is colored golden. Even though her heritage is Spanish, she looks like a blond American. Today is the first day Henry saw Evoline crying. He never was clear about her relationship with her children. To tell the truth they have known each other only for six months. She doesn’t like to share any sad story of her life. All they did during these six months was decorate all the houses and buildings they own. They had so much fun doing it. It was because Evoline was alway agreeing with him. She agreed most of the time and disagreed once in a while in order to offer better ideas. Many times they had sex in the empty room where colorful naked walls were watching them with super contentment. Evoline is seventy but her body didn’t break. A little too fat in the abdominal and chest that is all. Her breasts still speak to the universe. They are not down. She responds to sex perfectly fine. Henry didn’t find her age to be an excuse. Henry remembers all these being stuck in the traffic. It is too bad. Neither he can move forward, nor he can get out of the traffic; in other words he is hopelessly stuck. He sends a text to Evoline saying he is stuck in the traffic. He will explain everything when he gets home. Henry is expecting a reply. No reply in ten minutes. And his car didn’t move for an inch for the last ten minutes. He never had such a frustrating moment before. He decided to play some music. Henry loves old soulful music where lyrics contain some meanings. He loves listening to music. The sound of music really cut through him. He used to be a dancer. He made his first wife through dancing. But he misinterpreted her sadness for the depth of soul. She was thinking suicidal thoughts from the day one of their relationship. First Henry thought she was fantasizing around death. She was fascinated by all the cruel, sad stories of the world. She loved to watch murder stories and reality shows on television. She had a love-hate relationship with Henry’s two boys who came from her. One day she was diagnosed with chronic depression. Counseling didn’t work for her. She got addicted to depression pills. When nothing really worked, she went on a vacation alone leaving a note on the bedroom bedside table. At the time Henry was on a business trip. Her wife killed herself falling off of the mountain cliff. Kids told him on the phone that mom is not home. When he came back everything was over. Besides, those who want to kill themselves, no one can save them by watching over them. Since then he raised his two boys all by himself. Thank God his boys are not inclined to have depression symptoms. They are happy with outstanding academics. They both are engineering majors. He is providing their college tuition. Thank God he started his gas business in his late twenties. Now he has enough money to take care of his ambitious boys. The elder one is going to finish masters degree soon and will be on his own. It is a big relief for him. As he thinks, he feels traffic is moving. When he got home it was really ten’clock night. Lights are off and the front door is locked. He has the door key. He is moving into the rooms calling Evoline’s name. He turned on the bedroom light where Evoline was lying on the bed. He embraced Evoline from her back and kissed her on her cheek. She seems cold and hard. He tried to turn her face towards him and said, today is our wedding night. You want to stay up at night with me.

Evoline got up and sat on the bed. She is in a nightgown. She said, it is our wedding night and you went somewhere to leave me alone at home.

I didn’t want food to get wasted so I went to my sister’s house. On the way back traffic was so bad. I called you. You didn’t pick up the phone.—said Henry.

Am I supposed to talk with you on the phone today?-asked Evoline.

Am I supposed to see you crying today? Things happen. asked Henry in reply.

Didn’t I tell you I have a horrible family? What am I going to do if they make me cry?—as Evoline said it she laid back again.

You shouldn’t invite them in the first place.—said Henry as he is rubbing his wife’s back.

They are my sons and daughters and you should care for them as much as I care for them.—said Evoline facing her face toward the wall.

If you expected my care for your sons and daughters, you introduced them to me before our wedding.—said Henry standing on the room’s ground.

My daughters are bitches. They may have said something to you about me and you stopped marrying me. I don’t trust them. Evoline came back to sit and said.

Is there anything bad about you that I am not supposed to know?—asked Henry.

You doubt me. Okay I am a whore. I chose you to keep from many men.—said Evoline.

Baby you are mad at me right now and you are saying all stupid things to me. You better sleep now. Have you taken your blood pressure pill?—asked Henry.

Who cares about me? It doesn’t matter if I live or die. What do I get out of life? Nothing. My husband went to another woman right at the wedding night. Now he is talking about my blood pressure. You are so calming because you are guilty. You went to another woman.—Evoline screamed at Henry.

Henry mumbled. He doesn’t know what to say. He said, You can call my sister and ask her why I went to her.

Evoline smarked and repeated after Henry, sister.

Henry felt disgusted and brought his face close to Evoline. He said, not everyone is a whore like you.

Evoline got out of the bed and slapped Henry. She said furiously, a whore can’t run a business or own a house. I made all these in my hands. I deserve a good man. Not a man who goes to another woman on wedding night.

Henry’s face is red. He made a phone call to his sister and asked Evoline to talk to her. He put the phone on the speaker. He asked his sister if he came to drop the food at six’ o’clock. She asked him what happened. She also said the food was so good and her kids ate all the roast beef at one sitting. They also liked the egg pudding. Sister asked him to visit her family one day. Henry made an abrupt bye with his sister and turned to Evoline. Evoline started crying and asking Henry’s forgiveness. Henry took evoline in his arms thinking she really cares so much for her children and that caused her to be dramatic. He begins to kiss her slowly and ended up having a doubtful sex. Morning came in a golden carriage. Henry woke up first and kept Evoline in his arms. He has something urgent to say. The urgency is he wants to go to work. He doesn’t know where he is at with his life at this moment. He just wants to stay away from Evoline. He left Evoline alone and got out of the bed. Henry really has nothing to do in his business. It is his own business and employees have been working there from the beginning of the business. They are all trusted. Henry calls Evoline by her name while he is all dressed up for going out. Evoline opened her eyes and is trying to figure out if it is her husband.

Evoline asked, where are you going?

The morning guy called out. I have to sit there until I manage another one.—said Henry.

Oh, what time are you coming home?—asked Evoline.

It depends on the situation. replied henry.

Go put a sign there saying your electronics are suffering technical difficulties. I seriously can’t afford to miss you all day.—said Evoline who is still lying on the bed.

I was never closed for a day for the last twenty years. One thing you don’t want to do in business is confusing your customers.—said Henry while he is rubbing lotion in his hands.

Evoline got out of bed naked and grabbed a robe. As she wears the robe she smiles cutely at Henry. She said, you are not going anywhere. We are having breakfast together. If I can leave my business alone, you can do the same. Call all the employees you know and make someone sit there.—Evoline went to the bathroom as she finished her sentence. The bathroom is attached to the bedroom. She left the bathroom door open. First she peed. Then she washed her face and brushed her hair. She came in the kitchen and started the coffee machine with water and grounded coffee beans in it. Henry is watching her without telling a word. Usually she does kitchen work wearing real clothes. Today’s scenario is different. Today she can’t have Henry out of her sight. She made eggs, bread with low fat cream cheese and coffee. She put everything on the dining table nicely. Henry is leaning against the wall and is watching everything. Evoline came close to Henry and gave him a sweet quick kiss on his lips. She holds one of his hands. Evoline softly and kindly pulled Henry to the table. Henry responds to it. He sat at the table and literally broke the bread. While Henry is eating, Evoline went to the bedroom to put a blouse and pajamas on her. She is still continuing with the sweetness towards Henry. She wore her best blouse and cute pajamas. Her blouse has a lot of flowers and butterflies on shocking pink ground. As she passes the dining table, a thought strikes. She stops at Henry’s back and starts to rub her breasts against his shoulders.

Henry said, what are you doing? I am eating.

Why are you mad at me? You have no idea how much I love you. I am afraid of losing you. And it is the reason sometimes I act up.—Evoline continues with rubbing.

I have no doubt that you love me. I am yours forever. I just don’t know why you doubt me.—said Henry.

You are young, handsome and established. All queens of the world deserve you. I would die if you were taken from me.—as Evoline finished the sentence, she came to sit at the table.

Trust me, my only intention in marrying you is to keep you safe and happy. All my life I wanted to love a good woman. When I found you, I didn’t think about our age difference. All I was thinking about was how to make your life easy, comfortable and loving. It really hurts me when you doubt me. —Henry said all these with genuine emotion.

Yesterday was a rough day. I am most uncomfortable around my daughters.—Evoline said it while she was eating eggs.

You raised them.—said Henry.

It is really challenging being a mother of daughters. My youngest daughter started sleeping with men when she was twelve. A baby girl is not a human baby. It is a human making machine. I don’t want to remember that nightmare.—said Evoline with a sad face.

Don’t remember that again.—Henry said it with love.

Memories keep coming. One of my girl was raped by her uncle. There were days I wanted to kill the man. The incident made my daughter hate me so much that she ran away from home at the age of sixteen. She went to Canada with a forty years old man. She did underhanded work on her passport just for leaving with that man. I didn’t hear about her for a long time. This is how she punished me.—said Evoline with tears in her eyes.

Why do you think about the past? Now you are free from your kids and financial hardship. Enjoy the life you have right now.—Henry said while drinking coffee.

I am trying. I need you by my side. I want to live the rest of my life with you.— Evoline said it as if she is speaking to herself.

Henry stood up from his seat and came to Evoline to do what Evoline did to him at the beginning of the breakfast. He grabs Evoline who is sitting at the table and starts squeezing her breast. He said that he will not leave her alone for a second. He loves her so much. Evoline is enjoying the sudden spells of peace. She stood up and invited Henry to the bedroom. Henry and evoline ended up having sex one more time. When the intensity of excitement died down, Henry laid himself by Evoline quietly with content. He forgot how he started his day. He is watching