Greater Life

By Devyn Bakewell

When a couple kisses and the credits come up, their love story is just beginning. Falling in love is the easiest part of the journey, and staying in love is where it gets hard. 

In the sequel to Gr

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Degree Press
• Release date: May 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885041805

Book preview

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New Degree Press

Copyright © 2022 Devyn Bakewell

All rights reserved.

Greater Life

ISBN

979-8-88504-073-0 Paperback

ISBN

979-8-88504-701-2 Kindle Ebook

ISBN

979-8-88504-180-5 Ebook

To My Dad

I love you

Thank you for everything.

Contents

Author’s Note

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Acknowledgments

Author’s Note

Let love in and watch how it changes you.

Writing Greater Love has been by far the greatest achievement of my life. If creating my first novel has done anything, it’s shown me this. Love is great, all-powerful, and magical, but self-love is more than just defending and protecting yourself in struggle, like Ryan did. It’s being there in times of success, learning to celebrate yourself, working hard for yourself, and creating the life you want for yourself. Love is not just about the romantic, and something that is genuinely only achievable when one learns to love themselves. For, if you cannot, how can you genuinely say you know how to love others?

With the unfair standards, stereotypes, and even mindset society has had toward black women, loving ourselves can sometimes be a very challenging lesson. Oftentimes, we are seen through a narrow lens with heavy burdens and stereotypes placed on us from our birth. And while it’s not fair, when one learns what it truly means to love yourself for who you are and what you bring to the table, life only enhances. Being a black woman in her twenties, which is a pivotal time of growth and independence for anyone, I know first-hand the struggles of loving myself through personal and societal troubles. However, with its challenges, I’ve learned self-love is a journey that only brings you up when you genuinely do the work.

Learning to love myself has not been an easy process. When I moved to Washington DC from Los Angeles, I can honestly say I had no idea the journey I was in for. People came and went from my life. Some stood by me, and all filled me with happiness. However, the common denominator of every event was always me. On days I didn’t want to wake up, I was getting myself out of bed. When celebrating my accomplishments, I was putting in that work.

Still, in all these things, I failed to realize the little things I was doing. I’d prove to myself daily just how much love I had for myself while also never fully appreciating it. It wasn’t until I opened my eyes and realized not only the love I had for myself but why those around me loved me so much, too. I realized I had a lot to bring to the large table of life. I want more young people, especially young black women, to come to this realization as well.

When a couple kisses and the credits come up, their love story is just beginning. Falling in love is the easiest part of the journey, but staying in love is where it gets hard. We have to learn to love ourselves, so we can be our best selves in all relationships, allowing people to love us for us. This is what I call a Greater Life and also why I’ve decided to continue with Ryan and Devyn’s story. While their love is raw, rare, and beautiful, self-love is something they both need to learn. With Devyn’s active NFL dreams and Ryan’s hopes of becoming a famous screenwriter, the two had goals and plans for themselves before they entered each other’s lives. Now, it’s time they hold themselves to it.

Greater Love leads to Greater Life. While I’m still writing for young black people, telling our story and voicing only a single lens of our lives, this novel is for anyone finding their way and anyone who struggles to love themselves—flaws and all. Self-love is a journey just like any relationship, but it’s always worth it.

Chapter 1

Devyn

In my short nineteen years, my most valuable lesson has been life doesn’t stop for anyone. Every single day—amidst social injustice, political problems, or life’s own bullshit—the clock still moves second by second. It doesn’t matter if you need a minute of air, a moment to cry, laugh, scream, or sleep. The hours just keep going. The clock still tics and we keep pushing it. And that’s exactly what I’m telling myself as I finish up my last, and hardest, final of my first year at Truth.

It’s been about six months since Ryan was shot. Six months since Ivan died. Six months since her dad, Javon’s, arrest. Six months since the day my mom glided into my dad’s place like she’d taken a quick trip to the grocery store. Between the things going on at home, school, and football, thousands of times I needed my world to slow down. But with every second spent pleading, only more time passed. Assignments were always due, daily practices were still mandatory, and games had to be played.

The only option is to power through. I hustle on that field and in the classroom because I don’t have another choice. Life has calmed down from the start of the year. No more worrying about Ryan’s safety or where Ivan or Javon are, but all that means is it’s time to start planning for the next best things. I can focus on ball and be happy in my relationship without the stress of failing classes for the first time in my life. I’ve put myself in a space where I can only go up because down means back to G-Heights, back in that house where my dad’s moved my mom back in, even after all her manipulation and lies. That’s not an option for me, and that’s damn sure not an option for Ryan.

About five minutes is left of class, so I flip through the test, marking random answers for the few I couldn’t figure out. I get up to turn in my exam, thanking the professor on my way out.

And just like that I’ve finished my freshman year. Thanks to a teacher who spent more time preaching about how she doesn’t repeat herself and canceling class rather than doing her job, that test felt damn near impossible. However, even though difficult, I’m still feeling good. Some days I didn’t have the privilege of focusing on school because I had to worry about my baby siblings, making sure they had whatever they needed for daycare while somehow taking care of them amidst balancing my football dreams. It’s funny to say now, but I love the privilege of just being a college athlete and focusing on me. I’ll get the grade I deserve because I worked hard this year.

My phone rings right when I get to the yard, taking me out of the motivational speech I’ve been giving myself all morning.

Hey, how’d it go? Ryan says on the other end of the phone. Did he end up picking the in-class essay on if Jupiter was actually a planet or the other one? Six months after she was shot, and the girl’s better than ever, practically all healed from her surgery. Seeing her bloody, almost lifeless body on the ground of that dirty abandoned apartment is an image in my mind I will never forget. I often find myself being thankful a dislocated shoulder was all we had to endure.

I rub my aching head. After a nearly all-night study session, facts about volcanoes, earthquakes, and rocks cloud my mind. If I never hear another fact about planetary science again, I promise you I’ll die a happy man. Yeah, he picked the Jupiter one, thankfully, but it had a five-page minimum.

With a hundred multiple choice questions?

Exactly.

No wonder you sound so flustered. Ryan sighs. Well, he sucks. At least you’re done now, baby.

I’m saying… I maneuver through a crowd waiting to get into the dining hall. It’s the last week in April, and the sky is clear and sunny. In true Truth University fashion, students are dressed to impress, socializing on the courtyard and enjoying any excuse to be seen after the many cold months covered in puffer jackets. Not in the mood to talk with any of them, I quicken my steps back to my dorm with my head down. What’re you doing?

"Just sent in another internship application. Jordan told us today we have ten days to move our stuff out, so I’m just praying I hear back from one soon."

With Javon and Ivan out of her life, Ryan’s main focus has been to become the next Ava DuVernay. We’ve got little time to figure out if we’ll be spending the summer in New York or Los Angeles, but all I know is I’m not trying to spend the next few months apart. Ryan’s my medicine, my best friend, and my perfect distraction. The months we’ve spent together, me nursing her shoulder back to health, only made us fall for each other harder. I’ve always wanted to take care of her better than anyone has. Now it feels like I can finally do that.

You will, I tell her. We just got to keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. Got a little time for me to see you before I head to my last practice?

I have work in like an hour. You think you can wait till after?

Just seeing her face can brighten any bad day or bad mood. I tell her no before adding, That test stressed me out; I need a dose of you.

You’re headed to your dorm?

Passing your place now. Come out. I hang up before she can tell me no and make myself comfortable on one of the benches in front of the building when my phone beeps.

DAD: Look who’s finally home! Would love to know when you’re coming home, so we can plan a little welcome back dinner for you and Mom.

I stare at the photo of my mom and twin siblings, trying to push down any feelings I have about the situation. After six months of rehab, she looks better. Still too skinny in one of my dad’s old high school t-shirts and a pair of leggings, her lanky arms are draped over Cara and Cory as they celebrate her first day out. Their smiles are all big and bright, and I know they’re happy to have her back. I’m happy they get that—the ability to have forgotten the way she left. I never will.

A soft touch to my neck takes me away from my phone, and the moment I look up Ryan’s lips are attached to mine.

Hi, she sings, kissing me again as she takes the seat next to me. Her glasses are on and her hair is in long black braids down to her butt. A white wifebeater tank and biker shorts hug her body, emphasizing her curves.

You look good. I say, making her smile brightly as she leans in to give me another kiss. I already start to feel the day’s stress melt off of me.

Can we go to my place for a little?

She nods. Yeah, I brought my bag so I can leave from there. Let’s go.

The living room is filled with boxes as we enter, and my suite is a mess from the mixture of shit my roommates, Kenny and Royal, and me need to take to storage. I walk past ignoring the mess. Summer practices don’t start until July, and none of us are ready to go.

I see you still haven’t packed a single thing in here, Ryan jokes, making herself comfortable on the bed. I put my stuff down and climb in next to her. What time do you have practice?

Not until four. I pull her closer, entwining our legs as I breathe her in.

Last practice before your spring game. You excited?

I nod.

I know you’ll be great.

Have to. The way I’ve been working this semester, I’m faster and stronger than I’ve ever been before. The little aches and pains mean nothing when I’m killing it in practice, crushing niggas, and doing what I love. I’m telling you I’m meant for this shit. Somebody’ll notice soon. Were you able to get off work?

I traded morning shifts, so I’ll just run over right after, she says. I’ll probably get there right as it starts.

We should do something after, I suggest. Celebrate making it through the school year.

I place kisses down to her neck, making her giggle. It was one of the things that intoxicated me about her, and it still gets me every time. I’d love that, she says, but we’ll have to make some time this weekend to finish packing. You’re going to be so stressed if you wait till the last minute.

She’s not going to let it go; she thinks she’s helping. I’ma figure it out. I should bring up my dad’s text and the fact my mom’s back home for good, but I don’t want to even talk about it. Ten days is a while a way. We can find a couple of hours for a date.

Well, you know I’m there either way. We lock eyes and I drink in her brown, satin smooth skin, round lips, and sparkling eyes.

I decide to ignore my problems and spend the rest of our time together focusing on Ryan. She looks at me like no woman ever has. Loves me like no one ever has. When I’m with her I don’t care about anyone else. Especially, the woman who birthed me.

Chapter 2

Ryan

At the end of the day, it’s just not right for her to be going on dates after hanging out with me! Nico, my best friend and floor mate, wails on the other end of the phone as I walk home from work. The night is sticky and hot as we get closer to summer, and I don’t mind it. My skin’s soaking up the moisture, giving me a nice glow under the streetlamps.

You’re right.

I feel like a piece of shit, she says, crying over another fight with her on-again, off-again girlfriend, Sasha. Can we do some shots tonight?

Hell yeah. Another one of my floor mates chuckles.

Troy, you’re in there, too? I quicken my steps, excited to get home. I’ve only got a few days with my roommates left, and I’m going to miss them dreadfully.

I heard them yelling at each other in the hallway, Troy says nonchalantly. We’re all used to their fights and have spent many nights comforting Nico. Her girlfriend is kind of an asshole.

Where are you, Ry? Nico asks. We’re all getting fucked up tonight.

I can’t help but roll my eyes. Nico’s not the kind of girl who can handle sadness alone. Only ‘cause I love you! I say. And because our days together are coming to an end.

Nico loudly groans. Shut up! I can’t talk about it; just hurry up.

I’m like five minutes away from the dorm. The streets are damn near empty, and I’m being unsafe, taking my time getting home at nearly midnight. With every day closer I’ve gotten to the end of the school year, I get sadder and sadder. I don’t want to move out. I don’t want to be away from friends that are more like family. I don’t want to have to go back to Los Angeles because I couldn’t get an internship. My list of reasons go on and on…

Here! I tell Nico and Troy as I enter the dimly lit lobby of Harriet Hall. Be up in a sec. I hang up before flashing my ID at the security guard and getting in the elevator.

I catch Nico darting across the hallway as the doors open. We’re going to your room! she sings, her white socks gliding across the old hard-wood floor.

Fine with me! I call back, following behind her. Troy strides out of her room next, his long dreads in a high ponytail.

How was work? We stop and exchange a quick hug before walking the few steps to my room together.

Calm, so I’m not complaining. I knock on my last roommate, Jay’s, door before going into my room.

Open it! He’s in an intense battle of Fortnite with the headphones on and everything.

Nico’s behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist before I can say anything. Turn that shit off, Jay. We’re drinking tequila tonight. She squeezes me tightly before adding, Damn, Ryan, we should’ve had you bring back some tacos! Make it a thing.

Tacooooo Tuesday! Jay calls out laughing. That does sound good.

Too late for that, but I think I’ve got some tortilla chips in the cabinet. I roll my eyes, turning around to head into my room with Nico still attached to me.

Troy stands at the table pouring shots of José Cuervo into paper mouthwash cups. He’s also set up a mixture of our snacks as party treats, so we’ve got a whole setup of sodas, chips, and cookies.

Aw, I love it. I gush as Jay comes into the room. Nico lets me go, dancing over to the snack table, and my phone beeps.

Devyn: Make it home?

Me: Yes, just got back! WYD?

Here you go, Nico comes toward me and hands me a cup. We quickly do cheers before throwing the shots back. The warmth of the liquor sends a shiver down my spine.

Fuck, that’s gross. I frown.

Nico pats her chest. It’ll get easier the more we do. She looks over to make sure the boys are distracted before telling me, I got to have some fun tonight. I’m going to go crazy if I spend the entire night thinking of Sasha’s date.

So she just randomly said it?

"We were hanging