The Desire of Her Heart

By Sherron Elise

Ashleigh Cox is beautiful and intelligent, blessed with a lucrative career at a prestigious computer engineering company. The only thing that's missing from her life is a spouse. Ashleigh receives a prophecy shortly after her 30th birthday that she would meet the man she's destined to marry within that same year. She soon lays eyes upon Dr. Caleb Winston. Ashleigh is certain that he's the husband promised to her. The only thing standing in the way is Caleb's girlfriend, Reese. Ashleigh sets out on a mission to make him forget all about his blonde bombshell. She is successful in drawing him away but keeping him turns out to be more work than Ashleigh bargained for. This will cause her to face the painful reality that instead of hearing from God she may have been listening to the desires of her own flesh.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sherron Elise
• Release date: Apr 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201051754

Sherron Elise

Sherron Elise is a proud native of Houston, Texas. An avid reader since childhood, her passion for getting lost within the pages of a book soon transformed into using her vivid imagination to create stories of her own. For more information about Sherron Elise you can visit her website at www.sherronelise.com and subscribe to her podcast, The College Christian Chat, available on Apple, Spotify, and other listening platforms.

Book preview

Chapter One

Present Day

Ashleigh Cox took slow and deep breaths as she prepared to reflect on that hot summer day two years ago. The same day that was the catalyst that led to her being seated in front of psychiatrist Violet Richardson. Ashleigh couldn’t help but smile as she thought about the irony of Deborah Cox’s hit song, Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here. But for Ashleigh it was within a totally different context. After all, people like her didn’t need shrinks. She’d always believed that she was a person who ‘had it all together."

The sound of Dr. Richardson’s fingernails tapping away on her iPad lulled Ashleigh out of her deep thoughts and back to her therapy session.  She relaxed into the plushness of the sofa, finally ready to let her guard down and open up about her past. May I be blunt?

Dr. Richardson, sitting ramrod straight with her long and shapely legs crossed, gave Ashleigh an encouraging smile. That’s what I’m here for.

I wasn’t expecting for you to be a black woman. I bet you get that a lot, huh? I thought you were a white psychiatrist. But this is probably for the best. You may be more sympathetic to my predicament and able to relate to me more. She then looked down and played with her fingers.

I can’t believe I just said that, though. There was a point of time in which relating to my ‘sistas’, Ashleigh said, making quotation marks with her fingers, was the furthest thing from my mind.

Then why don’t we start there? Dr. Richardson suggested. Can you tell me why that was?

For example, what I just mentioned about not realizing you were black. I automatically assumed you were a white woman with a name like Violet Richardson. I’ve always loved how racially ambiguous my name sounds. Ashleigh Cox. It has always enabled me to get calls for job interviews. I’ve worked on perfecting my voice and diction over the years so that potential employers can’t even tell that I’m black when speaking to me over the phone. Of course they’re often shocked when I show up for the interview. You see, I’ve never filled in that race and ethnicity portion of online applications. But once I’m there face-to-face I make an extreme effort to sell myself and leave a great impression. It’s always enough for them to look past my skin tone and focus on my credentials and qualifications. Ashleigh released a coy smile. It also doesn’t hurt that I’m attractive.

Dr. Richardson nodded as Ashleigh spoke, her fingers sounding like woodpeckers as she continued to type away. So I see you were once a Senior Software Engineer. Then you left the company to start your own consulting firm?

Ashleigh beamed. Yes, ma’am! I was the only African-American female at my previous company.

Was that challenging for you?

Ashleigh shook her head vigorously. No. I preferred it that way, to be honest. Then she seemed to blush. I feel like I have to be careful of what I say so as not to offend you, Dr. Richardson.

Ashleigh, I can assure you that this office is a no-judgment zone. I need for you to be as transparent as possible so that I can effectively help you.

Ashleigh took another deep breath then released a long, slow exhale. "Okay, so yes, I worked in an environment dominated by men of different races. I preferred working around men because females spell drama. And not just black females, some of the white ones too. I loved my job at CompuColour. I can remember when I first received the promotion to Senior Software Developer. I was on top of the world! Then Caleb came into my life shortly thereafter....

Chapter Two

Two years ago...

Ashleigh stepped out of her silver C300 Mercedes Benz, placing her dainty stiletto-heeled feet upon the curb as she handed the keys to the valet. With a diamond beaded clutch purse in her hand, she walked with the rest of the wedding guests into the entrance gates of Moon River, a ritzy wedding reception venue located in the heart of Downtown Houston.

The cocktail reception was held outside in the venue’s courtyard. A tuxedoed waiter offered Ashleigh a flute of champagne, which she gladly accepted as she tossed a ‘thank you’ over her shoulder. Ashleigh then spotted a few of her co-workers and their wives near the fruit and cheese display. She went over to join them, sipping her champagne and making small talk. Ashleigh basked in their accolades as they congratulated her on her recent promotion to Senior Developer.

Benjamin has told me that CompuColour has created an entire new division for you to lead. Jocelyn Jones, Benjamin’s wife, remarked.

Yes, Ashleigh will be in charge of the new class of junior developers the company is looking to recruit. They are fresh out of college and Ben feels they will be easier for Ashleigh to manage. Mark Goldstein said.

Ashleigh’s smile tightened. It was just like Mark to try and belittle her. As if a woman, a minority at that, was only adept at handling a department full of recent college grads as opposed to the more seasoned employees that he was responsible for managing. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the opportunity and ready to rise to the challenge. With more hard work and perseverance I look forward to one day becoming a project manager like you. 

Mark raised a bemused eyebrow as he chewed on some fruit.

Ashleigh excused herself and headed to the bar for another drink. She did a double-take as she spotted a tall black guy stepping out into the courtyard. With his smooth onyx skin and dark shades covering his eyes he resembled the actor Wesley Snipes in his heyday. His tuxedo fit him to perfection and Ashleigh ran her tongue across her moist lips as she took in his broad shoulders. When he walked past her she couldn’t help but take a peek at his taut and firm backside. Taking a quick glance around, Ashleigh realized that they were the only two African-Americans present. This didn’t faze Ashleigh, as she was used to often being the only minority within her work and social outings. It was to the point where she’d grown quite comfortable with it. She pondered whether or not to walk over and strike up a conversation with Mr. Sexy Man after getting her drink. But she didn’t want to flock to his side on the merit of them both being black. Although Ashleigh was a bit miffed that he didn’t even acknowledge her with a nod or hello when he breezed past. Ashleigh wondered if he was a close friend of the groom, Terry. She knew he couldn’t have been acquainted with her friend, Danielle, the bride.  Danielle would’ve definitely mentioned him to her.

Danielle, a talent recruiter for CompuColour, was Ashleigh’s workplace BFF. Ashleigh’s new promotion afforded them an opportunity to work even more closely together. She and Danielle often socialized outside of work and Ashleigh was a bit hurt that Danielle hadn’t asked her to be a part of her bridal party. Ashleigh recalled discussing this over with her mother, Roslyn, who’d laughed.

Ashleigh, that girl will never value your ‘friendship’ with her as much as you seem to value hers. How many times do I have to tell you that whites merely tolerate us? We’ll never be fully accepted and embraced by them, or welcomed into their social circles.

Mom, you are always such a pessimist. You’re wrong; Dani doesn’t have a prejudiced bone in her body. After all, she did invite me to her wedding.

Her mother chuckled again. One day your eyes will open. I can already tell you’re gonna have to learn the hard way.

Her mother’s words were always in the back of Ashleigh’s mind whenever she listened to Danielle chatter on and on about her wedding. Ashleigh didn’t want to appear pathetic by asking her outright why she hadn’t been selected as a bridesmaid. She even tagged along with Danielle and the event planner to check out potential venues. Ashleigh also accompanied her to the food tasting with the caterer and was present for her final dress fitting. Ashleigh thought that perhaps Danielle would ask her at the last minute or maybe one of her appointed bridesmaids would have to renege for some reason and Ashleigh would be assigned to take her place. But none of that happened and Ashleigh had no choice but to settle for being a guest.

The cocktail reception finally winded down and the event coordinator helped shepherd guests into the main dining hall for a plated dinner. A live orchestra played as Danielle and Terry made their grand entrance. Ashleigh and Danielle locked eyes and Danielle gave her a wink and a nod. Ashleigh raised her champagne glass in a salute of congratulations.

To Ashleigh’s astonishment the Wesley Snipes look-alike sat at the table reserved for the bridal party. She watched as he placed his arm around the beautiful blond with striking green eyes seated next to him. Her name was Reese and she was Danielle’s maid of honor. Ashleigh quickly surmised that he was Reese’s date.

It surprised Ashleigh that Reese had a penchant for black men. When she’d met Reese a couple of months ago at a girls’ night out function held at Danielle’s home, Ashleigh thought she was the typical All-American white girl. Ashleigh sipped from her second flute of champagne, watching as Reese conversed while flashing a shimmering smile that could be featured in a Colgate ad.

Ashleigh continued to steal covert glances at Reese and the mystery guy throughout their dinner of Pistachio-crusted Red Fish, mixed vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes. They whispered in one another’s ears and shared secret giggles.

Overall Ashleigh didn’t have a problem with interracial relationships, but she did find herself feeling dejected when a guy she found attractive had a ‘Becky’ on his arm. She knew this was rather hypocritical; not to mention it reeked of entitlement.

After dinner and the champagne toast, in which Reese’s eyes watered as she delivered a heartfelt speech about her newlywed best friend, the two-hundred guests danced the rest of the night away. Again, Ashleigh watched Reese and her date like a hawk as they laughed and danced with one another. Ashleigh moved along to the beat of the live band, mulling over how her family use to tease her about having no rhythm. Ironically enough they’d told her that she danced like a white girl. The teasing was good-natured but it always caused Ashleigh to feel self-conscious about dancing in front of other blacks. She wasn’t hip to all of the dance moves such as ‘twerking’ and the popular line dances her family grooved to at their family reunions. But now she had no inhibitions about dancing within a room full of white people, figuring they wouldn’t judge her lack of rhythm.

Ashleigh finally got an opportunity to speak to Danielle, as she’d been preoccupied with mingling amongst her guests for most of the evening.

Hey, who’s that guy with Reese? Ashleigh asked, gazing off in an effort to make her question seem casual.

Oh, that’s her boyfriend, Caleb. Danielle responded.

Wow, I didn’t know Reese was into black guys.

Danielle nodded. They’ve been dating for about a year. I honestly believe she’ll walk down the aisle next. She’s crazy about him and he adores her too.

Ashleigh’s heart twisted within her chest. Why did ‘they’ always have to take