The Rhyming Adventures of Freddie Fart-Pants

By Viv Wade

Freddie eats a lot of baked beans, and his diet quite often means his bottom gets rather breezy, and a bit pongy and cheesy! But Freddie really doesn’t mind, his windy bum has helped him find lots of adventures as you’ll see, whenever he’s had beans for tea. He’s flown a plane and solved a crime, been to the moon - and all in rhyme!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Viv Wade
• Release date: Apr 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005064433

Viv Wade

Viv Wade is a British writer. She lives in the West Midlands, England.

Book preview

The

Rhyming

Adventures

of

Freddie

Fart-Pants

By

Viv Wade

All rights reserved.

First published 2015

This edition published 2022

© Viv Wade, 2022

Images courtesy of Pixabay.com

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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CONTENTS

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Flying Machine

Freddie Fart-Pants Flies Again

Freddie Fart-Pants Returns to Earth

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Lawn

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Football Match

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Steam Train

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Birthday Present

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Motorbikes

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Sailing Race

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Orchestra

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Cat

Freddie Fart-Pants and the River

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Robber

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Summer Fete

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Apple Tree

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Autumn Leaves

Freddie Fart-Pants and Santa Claus

Freddie Fart-Pants and the Flying Machine

Freddie saw a competition,

"Build a plane – that is your mission!

Make a plane from recycled stuff,

That’s powerful, and swift enough

To be the fastest in the skies,

Then you could win a special prize!"

So Freddie went down to the shed,

And searched until his face was red,

Until at last, he thought he’d found

Some things to get him off the ground.

"A shopping trolley, and some wood,

A lawn mower engine – that’s good!

When fixed together with some screws,

I’ll have a plane that just can’t lose!"

Fred sawed the wood to make some wings,

Then used some glue, and screws, and things

To turn the junk into a plane.

And while he worked, in Freddie’s brain

He imagined winning the race.

A cheesy grin crept round his face!

On the afternoon of the race,

Freddie got his plane to the place

With some assistance from a man,

Who towed the plane there with his van.

A pistol fired to start the race,

But panic spread across Fred’s face,

Because his engine wouldn’t start!

Disappointment filled Freddie’s heart.

Oh dear! he began to grumble,

Then he felt his tummy rumble…

Freddie let out a massive FART!

His plane shot away from the start!

Fred TRUMPED again, and TRUMPED some more,

Then his plane lifted off the floor!

Fred FARTED like a motorbike,

And his aeroplane flew, bird-like,

Straight up into the big, blue sky.

Fred said to himself, "I know why

My plane’s suddenly taken flight –

I had baked beans for tea last night!

They always give me dreadful wind.

What a stroke of luck!" Freddie grinned.

Fred let out an EGGY-BLASTER,

And the aeroplane flew faster.

Fred flew around the field with ease,

Powered by his own botty breeze.

Soon Freddie’s plane was in first place,

A big grin spread across his face.

Then after about half an hour,

Fred’s rivals ran out of power.

They started to land one by