Happy Child

By Sky Barrozo

This unique and heartening YA novel by Sky Barrozo is about a young teen who starts writing a journal about her day-to-day life as a way to cope with the trauma she experiences. She keeps up with the journal for six years, dealing with death, trauma, mental illnesses, and more, and throughout that time she discovers a lot about herself through h

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685155957

Book preview

10/31/2016

I don’t know what to say in this journal. I guess I just want some help. So my name is Sloan, and I am eight years old—and something happened today. I will probably laugh when I look back on this in the future. I probably cried about nothing, but I just want someone to talk to.

So today is Halloween, and my eldest sister, Emma, went to a party with her teenage friends. My other older sister, Adriana, trick-or-treated with me today. She dressed up as a witch, and I dressed up as a zombie. The scars and bruises seemed realistic. There was makeup all over my face and legs and arms, with blood and bruises. There was this large scar that went over my nose and extended to my cheek that my dad created with cotton and glue and dark-red and purple and black paint. You probably do not care about the details, but I will give them to you anyway.

My family came over so we could trick-or-treat together, and it was raining, so everyone was sharing an umbrella. I wore brown boots and black baggy shorts and a blue-and-white T-shirt with red splotches on it. While we were walking, my dad was following us in his van—my cousins are very young, and they normally just ride in a stroller when they are tired, but there are a lot of them, so we decided to put them in the car when they got tired. I was the last person in the line of trick-or-treaters in front of one of the houses, and my family was already walking to another house far away. So I thought to myself that I would quickly trick-or-treat and catch up to them later. While I was catching up, I fell down a hill and ended up on the sidewalk, and a piece of bark scraped against my back.

It was already dark, so all I saw were flashlights and the outline of a group of people. I remember yelling because I could not get up without it hurting. Thankfully one of my cousins heard me and helped me get up. She helped me get in the van and put her umbrella over me while we walked. My dad stared at me, at his daughter with mud and grass on her knees and elbows and mud on her legs and arms, soaked. There was no more room in the seats, so I sat on the floor, and I was surrounded by peoples’ legs and costumes and bags. One of my cousins accidentally stepped on me.

Sorry. I didn’t know you were there. You kinda blend in, he said.

I nodded, and he left to join the rest of the family.

Is Alex here? asked one of the parents.

Alex waved his hand, and she smiled and walked on with everyone else. The same thing happened over and over again. Except no one looked for me. I was expecting that someone would ask for me, but no one did.

It was soon all over, and everyone was eating their candy or trading or organizing it back at the house They were all doing their own thing and seemed happy. I got up and went inside, and for some reason, I expected my mom to come up to me and say, Sloan! I was looking for you! I’m so glad you’re OK!

She didn’t. she didn’t say anything. I went up to her and questioned her.

Why didn’t you look for me?

I didn’t know you were missing.

I was left in the rain!

Don’t raise your voice.

You left me.

I have to look after your cousins too, responded my mom.

You should take of your own children, I mumbled.

I walked into my bedroom to cry, then my sister walked in.

Mom told me to tell you that you shouldn’t be in your room, said my sister.

OK… I responded.

My sister left to go with the others, so I decided to go to the bathroom, and I cried there. I broke down, and my breathing patterns were scattered. I could not calm down and collapsed. I was crying for a long time and sitting in the corner of the bathroom. I started wiping my tears and smearing the makeup all over my face. When I got up, I saw my reflection in the large mirror. I saw my smeared makeup and the large scar on my face. For some reason I forgot about the pain in my back. It is like the emotional pain was more powerful than the physical.

I removed the smeared makeup with a wipe and then tore off the false scar. I looked back at my face and saw that I had red, puffy eyes. I went into my room, grabbed my tablet, and looked up how to treat the redness and puffiness. I then used my index finger to pat around my eyes counterclockwise. The puffiness and redness faded away, and I smiled in front of the mirror. I walked out, still smiling. One of my cousins approached me.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Why?

I don’t know. Do you want to trade candy?

Sure.

Great!

I went with her to trade candy, sitting among everyone else. One of my other cousins asked me, Where were you?

I just went to the bathroom.

Oh, OK.

The entire time I was wearing a smile, up until everyone left.

11/26/2016

Today was very…interesting. Today was one of those cleaning days. My mom went to work and had one thing to say to us before she left the house.

Make sure to do the dishes and the laundry before I come back, yelled my mom into the hallway. Emma walked out of her room and saw me already outside of my room. She barged into Adriana’s room and saw that she was still asleep. She looked peaceful, until my sister woke her up. I did not wait for them. I left to go to the kitchen. I started putting stuff away from the dishwasher, which is broken, so we just use it to dry the dishes. They went into the kitchen, and Emma started putting on music. It sounded like a different language I do not know. Both Adriana and I looked at Emma, who was listening to the music while washing the dishes. Adriana and I kept on cleaning, but then I got curious, so I went up to her.

What are you listening to?

K-pop.

What?

There is this band called B—

OK.

I did not want to talk anymore, so I cut her off. She kept on listening, and we all kept on cleaning. We then started to fold in silence, and I took some pairs of socks and threw them toward a pile of socks but missed it. Adriana looked at me. I could tell that she was done with me. I smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes. Later we all took out the recycling and the trash. I was supposed to pick up the pieces they dropped and take large items they could not hold. I tripped, and I guess I got up weirdly because they started mocking me.

Who stands up like that? asked one of them.

Emma imitated the way I got up. Soon we all endeavored on separate tasks. Adriana started vacuuming, Emma started sweeping, and I had to clean the furniture. They all finished before me, and when I finished the table, Mom came in.

¡Hola, princesas! said Mom.

Hi, I said.

My mom checked everything and then went to our rooms, which were still not one.

Sloan, why haven’t you cleaned your room yet?

I’ll get to it.

OK.

My mom started cleaning outside. Our dog played around while she was cleaning. I looked at my room and saw how messy it was. I folded my blankets and put my clothing in the laundry, and I noticed that there were a lot of random objects on my nightstand, in the drawer, and on the floor. I picked them up and threw them in my closet, which I know now was not the best choice. My mom came in to check our rooms. She first went to Adriana’s room.

Adriana, you need to sweep, said Mom.

OK.

Adriana looked irritated as soon as my mom turned her back and went to Emma’s room.

You still need to fold.

My mom came into my room and got very angry when she opened the closet.

¡¿Qué es esto?!

I stayed quiet. I knew I was in trouble.

¡Di algo!

I did not know what to do, but I already knew what was going to happen. She hit me. I started crying. She got even angrier.

¡Te haré llorar por algo!

She hit me again. I cried harder, and then she started yelling at me. I cleaned it up, and after I did, I headed to the bathroom. I looked into my sisters’ rooms and saw that they had just cleaned up and ignored everything. I waited in the bathroom until my mom was done cleaning her room. She had cooled down, and I left the bathroom. I then entered my sister’s room. She ignored me.

Hey, Emma.

Hey, Sloan. What are you doing here?

I don’t know.

OK. Then leave.

Fine.

To be honest, I have no idea why I went to my sister’s room, but at that point, I felt it was the safest place I could go. I left and went to my room. Soon after it was dinner, and my mom didn’t mention anything about what had happened. I did not say anything about it either, and we all just sat there happy. I do not know if it was real, but there were smiles.

Can I go to my friend’s house tomorrow for her birthday? asked Emma.

Sure.

A part of me was surprised that Emma had friends. Emma used to be so quiet, and now she was a lot more social.

Emma when she was younger was like Adriana and I are right now. We ate and are probably going to sleep soon. I do not know why I have written about this like it never happens.

11/28/2016

This day was a school day and one that embarrassed me. Today was a normal day. Until class. Today is Monday, so hopefully everyone forgets what happened today. So what happened today was that I cried. The worst thing is that I cried for no reason. I just cried because of what I thought was going to happen, and my teacher told my mother what happened later that day.

OK, so here is what happened. I was in class, and I was in my own mind. Wait, no—I was not in my mind. I was actually doing some homework. I knew exactly what I was doing, and my mind was not wandering. I was just focused, only focused, and clearly the teacher was talking about something, and he noticed I was doing something else, so he called my name.

Sloan, Sloan, Sloan.

It wasn’t until another student poked at my shoulder that I finally heard him. I did not know what he had said at all, so I answered, Yes?

I said your name three times already.

Sorry.

Make sure it doesn’t happen again.

OK…

He went back to teaching, and for a while, I focused on listening to him. He gave us our assignments. Then it was lunchtime, and I was still working on my assignment. It wasn’t until one of my classmates tapped my shoulder that I realized I again needed to pay attention to the teacher.

Sloan, we need to talk.

Everyone was getting ready to leave. We went outside, and he started to talk.

Sloan, why are you not focusing?

A ringing noise started to form in my ears after he said that.

Sorry…

What?

Sorry.

I didn’t ask for an apology. I’m asking for an explanation. Are you OK?

Yes, I’m OK.

You need to start focusing.

OK.

I’m serious. Don’t do this again, he said in a stern voice.

For some reason, when he kept using that stern tone, I felt fear rising within me, and I started crying. The ringing noise got louder, and I did not make any face, but there were tears running down my cheeks. He just looked at me concerned.

Sloan, are you OK?

Yes…

Can you stop crying?

Yes.

I tried to stop crying, and I did stop, but my eyes were all red and puffy. One of my classmates came up to me.

Are you OK? she said.

Yes, I said.

What happened?

Nothing. I got just got something in my eyes.

She walked back to her seat