What Happens at Grammy's Stays at Grammy's

By Shi Evans

What Happens at Grammy's Stays at Grammy's is an inside look at the issues some military families face during separation, how they manage it, and how remaining flexible just might lead to discoveries like Piggly Wiggly grape soda is better than name brands or it's okay to not follow the schedule because y

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shi-verse LC
• Release date: Mar 3, 2022
• ISBN: 9780990759065

Book preview

SOMETHING’S UP

This whole week Savannah got the impression that something is going on with her parents. It isn’t something like the tension between parents when they try to hide an argument by plastering fake smiles on their faces and giving loving glances at each other. No, this feels weirdly different. Every time Savannah enters the room, they get quiet or act like they are talking about a topic that is sidesplittingly funny. This something feels more like they are in on keeping a secret from her and her brother, Noah. She must figure out what it is.

As Savannah lies in bed waiting on her parents to tuck her in, she tries to think of a plan to get them to spill the beans. Like any other eight-year-old, she gets distracted. She starts thinking of the trick she and her best friend, Alexis, played on Noah earlier that day. The memory of the day’s earlier event makes her burst into laughter. She is so loud that her parents are curious as to what all the fuss is about with her. They enter her room expecting to find her playing with some toy.

What’s so funny young lady? You’re supposed to be on your way to sleep.

Hey Dad. Hey Mom. I was just laughing at Noah. He sure cracked me up today, Savannah could hardly finish her sentence because she is giggling so hard. Her parents know it is probably not the best parenting practice to laugh, but they cannot help cracking smiles while trying to tell Savannah she should never play a joke like that on her little brother.

Earlier in the day, Savannah and Alexis were bored to tears on a Saturday morning. They could’ve played outside on the swing set, watched Saturday morning cartoons, played with dolls, made slime . . . but none of those activities appealed to them. There they sat bored out of their minds. After her mom turned her down to take them to the neighborhood pool, they headed to her room to find something to get into, suitable for a Saturday morning.

Savannah is the typical third grader. Her mom let her paint her room bubble gum pink. She has a pink comforter set and pink curtains to match. The only things in her room that are not pink are the ceiling and the carpet. The carpet is tan, accented with a pink rug of course. Even though Savannah’s room looks like someone spilled Pepto Bismol all over it, she does not act like a girl who would have so much pink in her room. Savannah can be quite the tomboy on occasion. Just like any other girl, she has no problem exercising her right to change her mind.

Savannah also has a sporty build to match her changing personality thanks to gymnastics. She started as a toddler. However, she looks dainty and cute when her mom makes her put on a dress for church, but when she hangs around the house or plays outside with her friends, it’s shorts and sneakers every time. That is, unless she has gymnastics. Then it’s leotards and bike shorts. She loves to wear her hair in a ponytail. She cannot be worried about hair flying all over the place when it’s time to get down to the serious business of playing or beating boys in any game.

Savannah started flipping off the furniture as a toddler. Naturally, her mom signed her up for the sport to burn off some of that energy. Unfortunately for Noah on this day, gymnastics doesn’t do such a very good job of burning off Savannah’s energy.

Savannah and Alexis make it their mission to figure out what to do with themselves. Well, as they pass Noah’s room, Savannah notices he is still asleep.

Noah is the cutest little five-year-old. His body hasn’t quite caught up with his head yet, but that just means his cheeks look that much chubbier and pinchable. He’s in kindergarten and is starting to learn what kindergarteners learn. Like most children his age, he loves school. He savors lunchtime. He looks forward to story time, and he simply adores recess. That is why the joke Savannah played on Noah is kind of mean.

Noah. Noah, it’s time to get up.

Noah doesn’t budge.

This time, determined not to fail, Savannah reaches in to give Noah a shake. Noah, get up! Mom said that you better be dressed by the time she comes back in here.

As Savannah pulls back the covers, she knows Noah can’t stand to get in trouble. He will do just about anything to avoid it. He has probably gotten himself into trouble a time or two trying to evade trouble. So, telling him his mama is on the way to his room is a sure-fire way to get him out of bed in a flash.

Savannah and Alexis take the extra step to have Noah’s clothes on his bed so he wouldn’t move about the room too much and see Alexis hiding at the foot of it. Savannah places his favorite shorts and whale shirt right where he could slip them on right away. Actually, most all of Noah’s shirts are his favorite because they have some picture of an animal on them. He loves big animals, small animals, cuddly or creepy ones—which is why this joke might not be the smartest move for Savannah and Alexis. They do not like creepy, crawly animals. In fact, they are quite scared of them. The girls don’t think about how Noah could get revenge on them. No, they are too caught up on watching Noah scramble around getting ready for school on a Saturday morning.

Noah starts to walk toward his dresser until he notices his clothes on his bed. He doesn’t think much about it. He probably just thinks his mom laid them out for him. When he sees his favorite of his favorite shirts, he perks up a little bit. This shirt has a picture of a whale shark on it. Noah can name almost every animal in the sea. He can certainly name all the whales and all the sharks.

He pulls the shirt over his large head and has to give it a little extra tug. Once he gets it on, he looks down to double check the picture and smiles. He slips on his shorts and sandals that double as sneakers before making his way to his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He still does not notice the girls peering around corners to make sure he is on his way to Saturday school.

Savannah can’t take it anymore and doesn’t let him brush his teeth for the whole two minutes. Come on, Noah. You’re going to be late. It’s a surprise that Noah doesn’t hear her fighting back laughter. Here. Take this granola bar and eat it on the way. Mom said you don’t have time for a hot breakfast. You can be a school lunch today. Don’t worry about your lunchbox. Savannah has it all covered—or so she thinks.

Noah grabs his granola bar and sticks it in his back pocket. He grabs his backpack that sits in the shoe tree by the front door. It has cubbies for their shoes and backpacks. He looks back for Savannah to join him. Savannah scurries behind to act like she is going out with him then says, Aw man. I forgot something. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you.

Noah exits the front door and makes his way down the sidewalk and driveway. Then he appears to notice that the kids don’t seem like they are in any hurry to go to school. Savannah could tell this as she watches him through the glass door. She sees Noah’s walk slow to a snail’s crawl as he gets closer to the kids in the street. She looks to Alexis and says, I forgot about stupid Ronald McDonald. His real last name is not McDonald. That’s a name Savannah, Alexis, and Noah call him because they think he is so lame. He reminds them of the clown.

I know. He can be a real pain, Alexis agrees with Savannah. I wonder what he’s saying to Noah.

Savannah watches Noah talking with Ronald. She notices the smirk on Ronald’s face. For her that is all she needs to see. Savannah tells Alexis to follow, and they both run off to stop whatever is going on with Ronald McDonald and Noah. As they approach, Savannah hears the kids around them burst into laughter and sees Noah frown.

What are you saying to my brother?

Nothing. Just wondering where he’s going on a Saturday morning with a backpack, Ronald replies with a laughter that prompts the other kids to join in.

He’s coming out here to show you his pet snake. Want to see it? Savannah could see the whole mood change among the kids.

They don’t know if she is just talking or if Noah really does have a snake in his backpack. Noah has quite the reputation as an animal lover. The kids know he will pick up anything. One time Ronald McDonald’s mom called for Noah to get a garden snake that made its way into the house. That’s why Savannah suggests that Noah has a snake in his backpack. She remembers how scared Ronald was on the day an itty bitty snake decided to seek shelter in their home.

Get outta here. He doesn’t have a snake in there. No more than he has a pet whale in there.

Alexis wants in on this action. There’s only one way to find out. You scared?

Nah, I-I ain’t scared.

Well, why don’t you reach in his bag and pull it out like you did that teeny tiny snake at your house that time? taunts Savannah. Even though Ronald is a boy, Savannah doesn’t care. She will go toe to toe with anyone messing with her brother.

By now, Savannah can hear some of the other kids saying, Yeah, reach in there and get it.

Noah slides the backpack off his shoulders and unzips it for Ronald to reach in and get the snake.

Alexis, being the true friend that she is, leads the crowd in a chant, Take the snake, Ronnn-ald! Take the snake, Ronnn-ald! Take the snake . . . 

Ronald takes a long pause, probably the longest in his young life. His face is torn halfway between a frown and worry. He looks scared, embarrassed, and mad all at the same time. Just in case Noah does have a snake in his backpack, Ronald turns around to leave the circle but is stopped when they will not let him pass. Kids can sense fear just like animals. They want to see this through. Ronald is the bully on their street. So, any chance they get to see him squirm is worth any future threat from him.

Noah lives up to his reputation as a snake wrangler. He dramatically and slowly reaches down into his bag and really pulls out a snake. It is a slimy, rubber snake that looks real. Noah is able to handle it, so it looks like it is really moving around. So real that the kids take a few steps back. Even though Noah is shorter than Ronald, he is just tall enough that he could reach up and throw the snake across Ronald’s shoulders.

The crowd’s reaction is enough to scare Ronald. They all scatter because they obviously think the snake is real. Savannah and Alexis reach out and pull back his shirt to stick part of the snake down his shirt. Ronald shakes so hard and flails so wildly that he manages to wedge the whole snake down his shirt. Unfortunately for him, his shirt is tucked into his pants. No matter how much he screams and runs around that snake is not going anywhere.

Out of desperation, Ronald pulls his shirt out of his pants and struggles to get it over his head to free himself from the ten-foot snake. It is only a foot but under this stressful circumstance Ronald acts like it is a python.

While he is so preoccupied with the python, Ronald makes a mistake and pulls the tie to his shorts. Sadly for him as he lifts his shirt over his head, his shorts fall to his ankles. He still does not realize he is practically naked in the middle of the street until he feels the python fall between his feet and land on his shorts on the ground. Ronald tries to kick the snake from his shorts but that doesn’t work. When Ronald tries to run, he trips because his shorts are still around his ankles. Ronald falls to the ground with the butt of his teddy bear underwear facing the sun.

Savannah and the rest of the kids laugh so hard until they cry right along with Ronald. Ronald is lucky that most of them are too young to carry cell phones. Except Savannah carries her mom’s old phone just to play the games. Throughout Ronald’s whole ordeal, Savannah pretends to videotape it. However, she does manage to get a picture of a red-faced, teary-eyed Ronald McDonald when she could take a break from laughing. Even though Savannah and Alexis set out to get Noah that day, they have no idea the turn their day would take. Lucky for them, Noah makes a mistake and grabs his toy backpack instead of his school backpack.

Ronald calms his nerves, pulls himself together, and manages to stand and pull up his pants. Despite his shaking hands, he somehow re-ties his pants and snatches his shirt out of his buddy’s hands. Give me my shirt!

What are you hollering at me for? asks his friend, Will.

You just stood there and didn’t help. That’s why. Ronald is spitting mad.

Heck, I thought the snake was real. We all did, replies Will with a chuckle.

Savannah can hear the rest of the kids agree and laugh.

Get outta my way, yells Ronald as he bursts through the circle of kids who laughed, pointed, and laughed some more.

Savannah claims she could hear him sobbing as he walked away. He’s really gonna let it go when he gets home. Come on, Noah. Let’s go in and play. Come on, Alexis.

The three turn to head back inside as the kids break into groups of two or three to relive the event of the week. Unfortunately, Savannah sees her mom and dad on the porch watching the whole thing. They don’t look amused at Ronald’s misfortune.

Alexis must have recognized that same look her mom gives because she tells Savannah, I will catch you later. Then she scurries home. She lives two houses down from Savannah.

See you later, Savannah says glumly. She is not sure if her mom is upset about Ronald or Noah or maybe both.

Bye Lexis, says Noah who is not upset with his sister yet for playing the joke on him in the first place.

By the time Savannah and Noah reach their parents, Savannah sees that her mom is upset.

Come in here right now. I want to talk to you, young lady. Stephanie turns to lead her crew inside.

Savannah looks at her dad to get a sign as to how mad her mom is. He simply shakes his head and looks away.

Have a seat. Both of you.

Yes, ma’am. Savannah and Noah know the routine by now. They sit on the oversized, comfy couch which feels like a hot seat right about now and not so comfortable.

As Stephanie starts to talk about how it is wrong for Savannah to play a joke on Noah and how it is wrong for her to let Ronald think she has the whole incident caught on camera, all Savannah could do is try really, really hard not to picture Ronald in his teddy bear underwear crying like a baby. The more she tries to tell herself not to picture his whole ordeal, the more she sees it and the harder it is for her to listen to her mom with a straight face. Savannah knows if she laughs that would make her mom go bonkers.

Why would you play a joke like that on your brother? It’s one thing to play a joke in the house, but you embarrassed him in front of the whole neighborhood.

Savannah zones out for a minute. Then she hears her dad say, Well, ultimately the joke is on that Ronald fella. I don’t care for him too much anyway.

Babe, let’s stay on topic.

What? He’s a knuckle head. Besides, I think the lesson to be learned from this is that you two are better as a team. You wouldn’t have had to come to your brother’s defense if you hadn’t played the joke on him in the first place, right?

Yes, sir.

I think you owe your brother an apology. Stephanie tilts her head in Noah’s direction while giving Savannah a stern look showing she means business.

I’m sorry, Noah. It won’t happen again. Savannah reaches out to put her arm around Noah’s shoulder.

You also owe him a thank you, Stephanie adds.

Thank you? Why?

Because if Noah hadn’t picked up his toy backpack, that whole scene out there could have ended a lot worse . . . for you, Stephanie stares Savannah square in the eyes until she shows Noah some gratitude.

Thank you, Noah. I’m sure glad you picked up the bag with all your animals in it. Savannah can’t hold it back anymore. She bursts into laughter. In fact, the whole family laughs at the thought of Ronald McDonald getting taken down by a five-year-old. The whole family gives Noah high fives for saving the day.

Once they settle down, Stephanie gets back to business. Now, for your punishment, Alexis can’t come over for the rest of the day until tomorrow.

Yes ma’am, Savannah says, thinking since her mom is laughing all is forgiven.

Stephanie adds, You better stop messing with your brother. Noah will definitely have the upper hand in the near future. He is a fast learner, and he wants to do everything you do. But most importantly you are scared of every critter he loves to play with.

Noah gives Savannah a mischievous look while rubbing his hands together as if he is thinking up an evil plan. He doesn’t have to think of anything complicated. All he has to do is catch a grasshopper or worm and terrorize her to no end.

After they all finish rehashing the day’s events a few more times, they end the day with dinner and a little television and