Curio's Summer

By Robin John Morgan

Five years have passed, and all of the Curio's have finished College and University. Like seeds, they have all been scattered to the winds, following their dreams and careers, leaving Abigail, alone, afraid, and victimised. She is living in the guest house, which she has turned into a writers' retreat, and is avoiding the village of Wotton Dursl

• Language: English
• Publisher: Violet Circle Publishing
• Release date: Mar 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781910299357

Book preview

Chapter 1

Return to Summer.

I sat on my bed, feeling completely alone, looking at my black tear streaked mascara, that had run from my eyes. I held up my phone, ‘CLICK!’ and took the selfie, as I gave a huge sob.

I miss you so much, and I am so lonely, I am so sorry Birch, I failed you.

My head was spinning, and the tequila bottle slipped off the bed, and hit the floor with a thump. I fell back on the bed, and the pill bottle slipped from my other hand, as I stared at the ceiling. The whole room of the guest house was spinning, I felt drowsy, and then suddenly, everything went black.

The phone fell to the floor, it landed screen up, showing the picture of my rats’ nest hair, and the black tracks my tears had traced down my face, from my blood shot, unfocused, dead eyes. This picture, was the proof, that she was not coming back, and I had lost her forever. Why had I lied to myself, after all we had been through, why could I not just admit the truth of who I was, why could I not tell her how deeply in love with her I was?

Nothing changes in the way you expect it, when you see an acorn on a tree, it is fresh wholesome and green, but as the year moves on, the colour fades, as it falls to the floor, and gets lost in the pile, and it ends up brown, and rotting in the grass. It was sort of how I had been feeling, lost in the pile and left to rot.

That was last night, and having awoken this morning, and feeling afraid of being by myself, and afraid of being alone in the house, I wandered out, and into the village, feeling lost, lonely, utterly broken, and a complete failure. Coming home that summer with Birch, was hard, but I was so happy surrounded by her care and the love of my new friends, my Curio’s. Before that, everyone who had ever hurt me, had met me with a smile, and called themselves friend, and Birch had changed all that for me, but now she was gone, and I was utterly alone, living in hell.

I guess it is the saddest part of life, the hardest part of life, people grow apart. No matter how much you want someone, the truth is, a great beginning can only lead to a sad ending, it is inevitable, things eventually always go round in a full circle, nothing remains open ended, the circle must always close and in a way, today I was feeling like my circle had closed, that part of my life was over, and this was a new start, but to what, I had nothing left inside me?

I stood outside the salon, having been lectured again for letting myself go, by Anthony, as he slipped out his scissors, and again, I refused for the one hundredth time to let him do my hair. He had given me that look, the one he only had because of Birch and me, and tutted.

Abby darling, I never thought I would see the day when someone in this village, would have hair like a rat’s nest, even to rival Ronald. He heaved an exasperated sigh, and reached a hand towards me.

Darling, you simply must pull yourself together, for the sake of every Curio that has ever been, you have to dig deep girl, and find the sparkle that lit the way for all of us.

I get it, I do, and yes that summer was the happiest time in my life, which in itself is bizarre, considering I came back as a transient, hated by the village, and filled with the ideals of changing the world, and being true to myself. Like all bright flowers, they wither and die, and as I look round the village today, it still looks exactly the same. Wotton Dursley survived the onslaught of the Curio’s, and like all seed, we were scattered in the wind to flourish elsewhere.

We all came together that following November, to help mum campaign, and she won the election. She is now chair of the Parish Council, and she has made sweeping changes.

The following February Martin Hinkley appeared in court. Birch and her mum came down, as Birch and myself had to give testimony in court. It was an horrendous time for me, as I cried several times on the stand, as Martin’s solicitor said some vile and horrible things about me, as I relived my moments alone in that room with him. Mum cried all the way through it which made it even worse.

Martin was found guilty, after a private video link testimony was given by Julia, he had raped her just the same way he had tried with Chloe and me. The jury was unanimous in their verdict, although I did not see it, I felt sickened by it all and sat outside with Chloe who felt the same. I had really bad nightmares alone for some time, although I do feel guilty, as I never told Birch about them.

The village under mum on the council, is better maintained than it has ever been, people are a lot more liberated, Peter and Mary are now a little more open about their naturist’s lifestyle, they even have a flyer in the Post Office, for the local Naturist Retreat, outside of Oxendale.

Modern life has moved onward, and although there is little sign of it, as I stand here, having stopped outside the dress shop, there are small signs that times have changed.

The Fish Monger is closing after forty years, and even the Charity Shop is moving. The news agent, run by the post office, has less paper boys, and where the village had one taxi in my youth, it now has four, that run out of an office above the Deli. Lillian and Celia have two young girls helping in the Tea Rooms waiting on the tables, and the hardware shop, has an online catalogue for those bigger items, and screws and nails come in bags, where they had once been sold loose.

Jessops craft shop has been taken over by Anabel, because her dad Tom, was arrested for running a cannabis farm in the back. Some say it was an anonymous tip to the police that got him busted. I did not think it took much effort to know who, and yes as always, she is still here, frowning and intimidating the villagers, even though she has been demoted to Vice Chair on the council.

Tom’s wife Fiona, stays pretty much out of the public eye, avoiding Marjorie, although she does run a lovely little plant area at the back of Jessops, in what had been the Cannabis farm, selling flowering plants for Norman and Daisy, out of their nursery.

Norman never changes, his business is as booming as are his loins, he has two children now, Tulip, his daughter, and Denzel his son, who is three. Tulip is almost two. Daisy is pregnant again, although no one here knows that yet, it is information held by just a few, God knows what Marjorie will say when she finds out?

Apart from that, little has changed, except Hatty… I am delighted to see she is finally happy; she met a sculptor by the name of Harrow Temple, actually that is his artistic name, his real name is Clive Stourton.

He came into Oxendale High to give a presentation to the students on sculpting, and in true Hatty style, she got him drunk, took him home, and screwed his brains out. He surpassed my Uncle Jeremy in his ability to sate the beast that was Hatty’s libido. She told me it was a love at first fuck, which made me really laugh.

They are very similar, he lives alone with a studio, like she does, and both are opposed to marriage. They now spend their time commuting to shag each other, between here and Tethering Dibley, twenty eight miles away. Personally, it looks like a match made in artisan heaven, and I am happy for her.

With Hatty gone most of the time, and a vacancy for Village Harlot, I was the obvious choice, the scruffy female writer, who drinks, and as it appears these days, gets laid occasionally, and I really do mean occasionally. It’s been months since I last had the attention of a decent male, and I dumped his ass, because I turned up to his flat, let myself in, to find him snorting coke off another girls’ tits…. God life is depressing, I miss Birch.

Birch has done really well; she got her doctorate, sadly I was not there to see it, as I had a booking on the same day. I left Uni and came home to write, Katie became my agent, whereas, today nothing I have published has had any sort of interest. Birch has in true Birch style, gone on to bigger things. She has been working for three years part time with her mum, and has really excelled as a therapist, although she now has long white hair, and no black patches, which is so disappointing.

I see her on our video calls, and I find it unsettling, I have no idea why, because I am not much better. The black and red grew out, and I had it cut off. The fringe has also gone, and I am back to a blonde ponytail. I wear ordinary jeans, and baggy jumpers and tops, I think the only thing left from that summer now is, I still refuse to wear a bra, and I always swim and sunbathe naked.

I suppose we all grew up; it was bound to happen? I often think, is this what it was like for my mum, when I came home that day. Had she drifted into the dullness, and lost her yen for life, and just become ordinary? Maybe that was life, and the bumps in the road she told me about, but it just feels recently like my bumps are mountains.

My saving grace is that I am twenty four, and my trust fund has kicked in, I will give my dad his due, he is as dull as grey paint, but he certainly knows how to invest. My income from the fund is massively larger than I will ever need to live. I thank him for that, at least I won’t starve. God what has happened to me?

I left Uni with such honour, I aced everything and got distinctions all the way. Birch stayed on to pursue her doctorate. I missed her so much that when I came home, I moved permanently into the guest house, and converted it into a writer’s retreat. Sadly, gothic fantasy is no longer in vogue, and even though the two books I have put out have done okay, I am not sure I will ever make the best sellers list. I feel bad about that, Katie put in so much effort, I feel like I let her down, when the sales did not even cover the promotional packages.

I miss Birch, it has been almost a year since I saw her, I miss the Curio’s, we have not really been together since that November campaigning for mum, we have all expanded our horizons and moved on.

After Veronica recommended Anthony on stage five years ago, the salon has expanded, and he now has two new hairdressers working for him. I do see him, but only in the salon, he is so busy these days he never has much time, and what little he does, he spends with Brent.

Edwina runs her own business freelancing graphic design, and internet services, she is as always living up to her reputation bedding everything male or female she comes across, although she now runs a site for Unicorns. I am not too sure what that is, I just know it has nothing to do with rainbow coloured horses with a horn on their head. I really should look it up.

Chloe is still single and lives and works in Oxendale in an art shop. She has sold a few paintings, and as far as I can tell, is in hot pursuit of Hatty’s reputation. I have often wondered, if the Hinkley incident became too much for us all, and not being together is easier, as for some of us, it is still traumatic to remember?

Deb’s never changes, she aced everything as expected, and now works for the large pharmaceutical company in Cambridge. I see her on some of the weekends she comes home, and she has crashed occasionally with me, we email a lot. We went to Glastonbury last year with Birch, it was a pretty wild weekend, and hey you will never guess, she ended up in the caravan of Jimmy.

Battered Taco are a massive hit in the east, especially Japan, they have also just about broken through in America, not so much over here yet, they did have one hit with ‘I want the girl in my hat back.’

It was a pretty big hit for them, and was written by Jimmy, and dedicated to Deb’s. He saw her in the crowd at Glastonbury, and he jumped off stage, fought his way into the crowd, kissed her, and then dragged her wearing his hat, on stage with him. It was pretty cool to see the look on her face, as he told the crowd, how he had lost her contact details, and thought he had lost her forever. He then sat her on a stool at the front of the stage, and sung the song to her.

The poor girl, she was beetroot, and hated by every single woman in the arena. Birch said it was the most romantic thing she had ever seen, and cried buckets, I could not help but laugh, although it was pretty cool.

It is another reason why I am feeling down; Deb’s is getting married at the village church in August. The village is preparing for the wedding of the year. Isn’t it strange, the village has accepted the wedding because firstly Mr Wheeler is loaded, and Jimmy is an internationally well known musician? No one appears to mind the fact he is obsessed with steam punk, and wears all the clothes and styles, including his top hat and goggles, and is a poor boy done good. The hypocrisy never ends here in Wotton.

I miss Birch, but she has a busy life, her text messages are further and further apart, it has been well over a week since her last text, and last night she did not come online and talk to me on video call. It felt like the end of the world, on the never ending slide downwards in the abyss of darkness that is my life of utter loneliness. God, I miss her so much, it is hurting deep inside, and I am not coping at all well, as I cannot stop thinking of her and feel this huge ball of pain inside me. I know she is so disappointed in me, I should have achieved more, but I think I have really let her down and dashed her high hopes for me, hell, I have let myself down, I miss her so much.

Are you going to stand there looking like a sight all day, or will you be moving, you are making the place look untidy?

Huh! What? I came out of my thoughts to Marjorie staring at me in her usual disapproving way, she gave a frustrated sigh, as she scowled disapprovingly at me.

I asked, if you would be moving any time soon Abigail Watson? Good grief, just look at you. I understand your absolute lack of care for anything, especially yourself, but in fifteen minutes, we do have a funeral arriving. Around here, it is considered respectful to at least make an effort, for the final passing of the deceased.

I had forgotten, today is the funeral of Mrs Perkins. As you will remember, Mrs Perkins lived at number three Waterside Lane, almost right across the road from us. She would watch the coming and goings of the lane through her binoculars, and report her findings directly to Marjorie.

She died a couple of months back, but due to the nature of her death, she has been disposed of in a special way. Her son had been working in Africa, and on his return, she had contracted a rare tropical unidentified disease, and suffered in hospital for a while.

Eight times her son had been told she would not last the week, and yet the old bat came through. My dad told me she was just ‘too dammed nosey to die,’ which I cannot deny, made me laugh, and was possibly true. However, she was assigned a room at the care home, and her property was placed up for sale.

Then on the day she was supposed to be discharged from hospital, and taken to the care home, she woke up in her hospital bed, allegedly healed, and ate a full breakfast, only to projectile vomit it back up, in a scene reminiscent to the Exorcist, and then dropped dead in her bed.

Her body has been in a lab for a while, and then cremated for reasons of safety, and then her ashes were placed in a sealed container. Today her sealed remains were to be placed in a coffin, and brought to church for her burial shortly, and apparently, I was too unsightly to view this.

Some things just do not change, no matter how hard you wish for them to. You would have thought after that summer, and the revelations that followed, about changed votes, Marjorie would have stepped down from public life, but no, the woman has no understanding of honour.

Losing to mum was a blow, but like a flat tyre, once she got her wind back, she simply reinflated her ego, played the victim card, and bounced right back up. For the last couple of years, I have been her favourite target, and verbal punch bag. Normally I would fight back, but to be honest, today, I just do not have the spirit or will power to bother.

Well? I gave a sigh, and looked at Marjorie.

Okay… I am going.

Good… Get a move on.

I turned to say something, but something at high speed and lilac, caught my eye, and held it as it hurtled past the Post Office, was that what I thought it was? I narrowed my eyes and focused on it.

No frigging way! Marjorie gasped.

OH MY GOD, SHE… SHE…. SHE IS BACK!

BEEP…. BEEP…. BEEP…. BEEP…………………. SWEETIE!

I could not believe my eyes, as a lilac Land Rover covered in daisies and rainbows, came tearing and screeching, round the bottom of the road by the Hunters Arms, with the wild green eyed, and long flowing blonde haired, figure of Birch hanging out of the window, waving like a lunatic.

She came hurtling up towards me, as Marjorie staggered back on the path, and Petal, came to a screeching halt, skidding sideways on the road. Her door exploded open, and suddenly, I was wrapped in her, laughing and cackling like an escaped mental patient, and I burst into tears. I felt her, and wrapped my arms around her.

Sweetie I am back and I missed you, did you miss me?

I could not talk, I just held her tightly, feeling her warmth and smelling her scent, as a tsunami of emotion ripped through me. She pulled me back, and lifted her arms in the air, and her eyes burned with fun and frolics, and her smile was huge.

SURPRISE! I wiped my eyes, stunned, and yet happy.

Birch what are you doing here, I thought you were in London? She smiled.

I was, mum is taking a few days sightseeing, so I thought I would come and see all my favourite people. She looked at Marjorie, who was staring at her, with horror in her eyes and smiled, and looked back at me, and lowered her voice.

Well obviously, not the Bell Twats. I missed you Deads, and it has made me unhappy, I need us to talk, so I drove here, so I could see you and hug you. She smiled a soft smile, and tilted her head to one side as she looked at me.

Look at you… Oh Deads what has happened, have you missed me that much? I nodded, and burst into tears again.

Yes…. Oh Birch, you have no idea.

I did not want to cry, but seeing her brought it all back, and those deep feelings inside me, everything came rushing up. She pulled me back into hug.

Oh, Sweetie so little has changed… Come here you silly.

Beep…Beep! Birch sighed, and turned, and looked back at the road.

Seriously, can you not see we are having a moment here…...? Oops, my bad.

The long black hurst, with a coffin, decorated with pink and yellow flowers, was stopped on the road in front of Petal, who had skidded right across, and was blocking the road. The door was open and the engine was still running. Behind the hurst a long line of black cars waited, with frustrated scowling people inside. Birch let go of me.

Give me a moment Sweetie. She walked onto the road, and sighed at the driver of the hurst.

Seriously… She is dead you know; she is not exactly looking at her watch now, is she?

Birch climbed in, and reversed back, then spun the wheel, and pulled Petal to the side of the road, and smiled as she got out, and waved the funeral procession through. Marjorie turned and skuttled off up the street cursing under her breath.

She is back less than a minute, and already there is chaos in the village.

I just smiled as she walked back towards me, she gave me that big beautiful smile of love and fun.

I have vodka, and I am here until tomorrow, but then I have to go home, so how about we head back to your place, get naked, drunk, and talk, you can tell me all about it? I nodded as I smiled, and gave a long breath out.

Yeah…. I would love that.

God, she looked so good, she had hardly changed, although I missed the patches in her hair, but I could live with that, just hearing her voice, and being able to hug her and smell her, it was like a tonic. She winked.

Come on Sweetie, jump in, I want to terrify your dad, when he gets home, and sees Petal across the gates.

I pulled her back into a hug, and just squeezed the life out of her, I guess I was making sure this was real, and she was actually here. I mean, I have fantasied about it so many times, I had wondered if I had slipped out of reality for a moment.

I opened the door, wow, Petal had been completely transformed, she looked like a brand new car. I could not believe it, the seats were rainbow striped, thick, and fluffy. As I slid in, the dash was completely new and covered in a bright flowery vinyl, and from the mirror hung a small blue rosette. I still say curd is not jam. Just getting in felt like home. Birch gave a giggle, and suddenly I was pinned to my seat, and tearing at high speed towards Manor Road, and home with my eyes closed.

Chapter 2

Birch Returns.

Do you ever have that feeling like everything is not real, and you have to pinch yourself? Well, that is my life at the moment sat looking at Birch, as she drives at high speed towards my house. To be honest, there is a little bit of good sense looking at Birch, as it avoids me seeing out of the windscreen. I learnt five years ago that it is easier to not see all the hazards she misses by inches; it makes for a calmer, and more relaxed journey.

We moved on to Waterside Lane, and slowed down, for the last month there had been a constant line of trucks parked outside number three. The house had been sold, and whoever had bought it, had obviously decided to remodel the house. They had become my equivalent of the Bell Twat, as they hammered and drilled all day, which when you are a writer, and you are trying to focus, is just dammed right annoying.

Birch slowed down, yet again the residents had to wait, as another delivery was parked in the road, and a man handling a large pallet on a trolley, was guiding it through the gates. Finally, we had a clear run past, and Birch drove up to our gates, I got out and looked back across the road.

Frigging hammer twats, I cannot wait until the new owner moves in, I am going to smack them in the mouth, for the month of endless noise. Birch gave a chuckle.

Really Deads, what if they are nice and sweet, for all you know the new owner might be lovely and bangable? I watched the delivery man pull his pallet down the drive.

I doubt it, if they can afford to buy that house, and then knock the shit out of it, like they have been doing, you can bet it is some rich coke snorting twat from London. No other type can afford to live on this drive.

The gates opened, and Birch drove in, and parked Petal in front of the side gates. Birch leaned over and grabbed her bags, and we jumped out, and I opened the front door into the hall.

Mum are you home? Her voice sounded back from the kitchen.

In here Abby.

We walked up the hall towards the door. Once we arrived, I stepped back, and pushed Birch through with a smile, she stepped into the kitchen. Birch gave a giggle, and spoke quietly.

Hi mum, I am home.

There was a loud squeal, and as I walked in, mum rushed across the kitchen, and swept Birch into her arms.

Oh Birch darling, why didn’t you tell me you were coming? Oh it is so lovely to see you, it is far too long young lady, oh it is so nice having you home again.

I smiled, mum had missed her as much as I had, life had never felt the same since she went back home to Manchester. It is funny really, five years ago we had stood here, whilst my mother had a minor breakdown, accusing me of tattooing my eyeballs and taking heroin. Had things really changed so much? It felt strange, the times had moved on, and yet inside I still felt the same, except, there was a tiny part of me that was different.

I was happy she was back, I had missed her so much, and seeing her in the street had blown my mind, and stirred up all of my emotions. Maybe it was just that, but I somehow felt there was something missing, a closeness if you like? Yes, I think that was it, there was a strangeness to both of us. It was nothing you would notice, the bond was still there, I had felt it in the car, but it was like a small part had been chipped off, and I felt it, and missed it.

We sat inside for ages, talking at the counter with coffee’s, mum and me asked a million questions, and poor Birch must have felt like she was being interrogated, but she loved it.

I sat watching her as she spoke, the way her hair, which was much longer now and touched her waist, fell across her shoulders, her long eyelashes, her green eyes, that just glided across her face as she noticed everything, she was different, and yet the same. I felt she was a little more mature, a little more like her mum, and yet in an odd way, more Birch than Birch had ever been, or at least more than I remembered her.

Her skin was as white as alabaster as always, her boobs looked a little bigger, and she had gained a little weight, or maybe it was she was just more toned. I was fascinated and yet perplexed, she was the same, and yet very different, and I just could not put my finger on it. She saw me looking, and turned to me and smiled, lifted her hand, and swept my hair back from my face.

You okay Sweetie? I smiled.

Now you are here, I am fine. Her eyes just for a second clouded, I think it hurt her to know that, but she smiled at me.

You should put the fringe back, it suited you. My mum agreed.

Oh Birch, you have no idea how many times I have told her, although I have to say, it feels odd that you do not have Birch hair. I agreed and looked at my mum.

Yeah, it does not feel the same now does it? She gave a chuckle and looked at me, there was a little sadness in her eyes.

No one calls me Birch anymore; I am Jemi to everyone.

That just did not feel right at all, only Birch had called me Deads, so in a way I had not missed it, although in those first few minutes during our meeting, I had been relieved to hear her say it. I think if she had called me Abby, I would have felt hurt, no scratch that, it would have been devastating. I looked at her, with her beautiful green eyes.

You will always be Birch to me. She gave a soft smile, my mum agreed.

I am not sure I could call you anything else, I mean Birch suits you, it is something natural, something wild and free, a part of this world that will always create beauty wherever it grows. I am sorry, but I absolutely refuse to call a daughter of mine Jemi. I saw the tears fill her eyes, they just welled up as she smiled.

I have missed you both so much…. I love the name, I do Flick, but since Uni, and working in the office, it has kind of disappeared, it is so nice to hear it again, thank you. Mum smiled, as I leaned in and hugged her, she dried her eyes.

I am so happy to be here, I needed this. It felt like an odd remark, but she stood up, and I slipped back from her.

Can I see the house; I really want to see what you have done with it?

It was raining, somewhere between us arriving it has started, I looked for an umbrella, Birch walked to the doors and looked out.

You have no idea how much I have wanted to be here, there have been so many times I dreamed of being out there by the pool. I looked out through the window, and saw it streaking down the glass.

Well not today, it is probably not the best day.

She turned to me and smiled, and there was that grin of mischief. She grabbed her blouse and started to open the buttons, I looked at her like she was mad.

Birch… What the hell?

Her blouse came off, and she undid the buttons on her slacks, she winked at my mum and me.

Water is just water, it’s either up there or down here, and I have waited too long for this, what say you my dark little beastie, are you in? My mum gave a laugh and looked at me.

Go on, what are you waiting for?

I grabbed my jumper, and pulled it up, and Birch started to laugh, a few minutes later we ran screaming through the rain, across the patio, stark naked, over the grass and dived into the pool. My mum stood at the door laughing, as we both surfaced and screamed out with delight, but hell it was cold. She swam over to me, with wild excited eyes and hugged me in the water.

You have no idea how much I have missed you. She pressed herself into me, and hugged me until I could not breathe.

Felicity sat at the desk in the study, holding the phone to her ear.

Hi Roni, just wanted you to know she arrived here safely. I know it is probably none of my business, but as you know, she is like a daughter to me, especially after that long summer. She made such an impact, she really made Edwin and myself look at ourselves, and try to work things out. Roni she is hurting, I see it and I feel it, can you tell me what has happened, or should I leave it alone?

Roni was quiet on the other end of the phone for a few seconds.

Flick… You cannot mention anything to Jemi, she needs some time, and has taken a leave of absence whilst she adjusts. Look Flick, the thing is, Jemi has lost a client, not just any client, it was her first one, and it has hit her really hard. She has been working with a young woman for two years, if I am honest this girl was very like Abigail, and had suffered a similar experience. Honestly Jemi was brilliant with her, and she was flawless in her work, but last week out of nowhere, the girl took her own life. I have not had all the medical reports, so I do not know the specifics, but it has hit her really hard, and she is hurting badly. Flick sat back in her seat, and closed her eyes.

Poor girl, I sensed it the moment I saw her, alright, what does she need to help her? Roni gave a sigh.

If I am honest, she needs Abby, I suggested she go visit Abby whilst we were in London. I brought her down here because I needed some time alone with her to help her, and I have done all I can. I knew getting her closer to where Abby was, would be a massive help. I have told her to take a break until September, I think being around Abby will help her work things out on her own. It is impossible to get her to confide how she is really feeling to anyone up here. Flick, Abby understands this better than any of us, it happened to her, and so at the moment being with her is the best thing for her. If Abby struggles, tell her to talk to me. I know it sounds crazy, but she needs to leave Jemi behind for a while, this is something only Birch, Deadly and Goggles can fix, or at least I am really hoping so. Felicity understood.

Alright Roni, I understand, and I will keep you posted on how she is doing. Roni sounded a little relieved.

Flick…. Thank you…. Thank you for noticing so quickly, it makes me a little more relaxed knowing you love her so much. You are like another mum to her, because that is something only a mum would spot, I am so grateful. Felicity smiled.

She is a wonderful girl Roni; you can relax knowing I will be watching to make sure she is fine. They are in the pool, and laughing at the moment, even though it is raining, no doubt they will head into the guest house shortly, and then they will be alone to talk. We will talk again soon, so do not worry, she is in safe hands. Roni chuckled.

This is Jemi we are talking about; she may get a little wilder than normal, but thanks, William and I will sleep better knowing where she is.

Yes, relax, I am sure we can handle whatever crazy she brings.

Not long after, Felicity gathered up their clothing with a smile, as she heard the screams and laughter from the pool. She folded them neatly, and then picked up Birch’s bags, and with an umbrella, she walked to the guest house, and placed the clothes on the bed, and the bags at its base. Above the bed was the painting Hatty had done for Abby, and next to it the rosette Abby had won at that year’s fete, she smiled

Birch, Deadly and Goggles… Why does that feel like it fits?

She walked out of the small house, lifted her umbrella, and then walked to the side of the pool, whilst we splashed and frolicked around.

Girls… I have put your clothing, and Birch’s bags in your room. I will make some dinner soon, and bring it down when it is done. Don’t catch cold, Abby, I turned the heating up in the house a little, it felt chilly in there. I gave mum a nod.

Thanks mum.

Birch dived under the water, and grabbed my legs, and pulled, and I went gasping under the water, this was so much fun, even if I did panic for a moment. I came up gasping but still smiling, God it felt so good just having her back with me, no one will ever know or understand how much I have missed her.

I have learned that you really do not fully appreciate something, until you have lost it. I spent two years at Uni, and every day she was there. When we returned for a second year, we pushed the beds together and created a double bed, and moved the desks so that we had a smaller version of the guest house, albeit with more shelves, we did have a lot of books at the dorm.

When I left, Birch moved into a single room dorm, and shared with no one, and I came home. I spent my first night home in my own room, and hated it, and so in the middle of the night, I grabbed my duvet and walked down to the guest house, and curled up alone on the large king sized bed, and hugged the pillow Birch had slept on. It still smelt faintly of her perfume, and I missed her so badly, just that was enough to make me feel at ease. That Summer dad took us away to Greece for a month, and it was beautiful, it even had nudist beaches, but it was not the same without Birch.

The guest house was all I had left of her, so when I returned, I told my parents I wanted to convert it into a writer’s retreat, a place I could be solitary, and have the space to think. It took a while, but eventually with all my things moved in, and some new furniture, and a new desk, it once again felt like home.

The thing is, that because this had been the centre of what I now refer to as the Curio’s, it helped me to feel safe.

I have spent so many nights alone, sat at my desk, or sat on the floor with a pillow behind me, leaning against the wall between the kitchen and the bedroom doors, that if I closed my eyes and concentrated, when I opened them, I could see them all again.

Anthony on the old comfy chair, Deb’s leaning against the bathroom wall, Birch sat in the wooden chair next to the small table, and Chloe and Edwina lay on the floor with pillows or cushions, as I relived those happy times. It was all I had to keep me going, in what felt like endless loneliness, and it did ease the pain I felt in my chest.

I began writing my stories, but I also wrote a diary of sorts, it was the story of us all, and how we survived that summer when everything felt against us. Reliving it helped ease the pain of isolation, because with low book sales, and everyone so far spread apart, I was falling apart inside, being attacked even more in the village, and so lonely it was unbelievable. My life became a living hell, and my biggest demon was Marjorie.

It got so bad I started to take sleeping pills, to help me close my mind and feelings off at night. My mum did her best, so did Hatty when she was around, and on those weekends when Deb’s crashed here, it was nice, but the truth of it all was, none of them were Birch.

Every Thursday without fail, we would video call each other, and for the rest of the week she would text, and every time became a spike of joy for me. Recently she had texted less, and then last night she was not able to video call, because she was in London, and it felt like the longest night of the last four years. I sat on my bed, slightly drunk and in tears.

My day had been the worst, as Madge’s comments in the village had been more hurtful, and I had been so looking forward to seeing her, and she was not there. I had started to think she was so disappointed; she couldn’t handle seeing me anymore, and I fell apart. It had felt like the worst week, I had tried to write, but I was losing my confidence, and I really needed to see her face, and could not.

It is not that easy to explain, it makes no real sense even to me, except it was two am, I was sat in my panties on the bed, hugging a pillow which was pretty much devoid of most of her scent now, drunk, and crying my eyes out, and holding a bottle of sleeping pills.

I had been here only once before, it was when I first told my mum I wanted to go to Uni in Manchester, and she had thrown the fit of a lifetime. I thought about it then, but swore I never would again, and yet here I was back to square one, a failed writer, in love with a person I could never hold, and at the loneliest I had ever been. Thank God for tequila, because I passed out, before I could do anything stupid.

That was last night, and today is today. It is crazy, Birch once told me, that the one good thing about hitting rock bottom, was after that moment of realisation, you can only go in one direction, and that was back up, and she was so right, because look at me now. It is raining like crazy, I am freezing my tits off in a pool, in my own garden, and laughing like a crazy person, looking at her beautiful green eyes, as she smiled at me. I had no idea she was coming, I walked into the village just to be out of the house and get some air, and suddenly there she was, it was almost as if she had known.

GIRLS…. GIRLS! YOUR DINNER WILL BE READY IN TWO MINUTES, COME ON YOU NEED TO GET OUT. I waved from the pool.

WE HEAR YOU!

She shook her head, and smiled, she must have thought we were as mad as hatters. I swam to the side and pulled myself up, Birch grabbed my hips and yanked, and I went flying back into the pool, as she giggled and climbed out. I came back up to the surface, and saw her running for the house, I climbed out behind her, and ran dripping across the lawn.

I came panting into the bedroom, to find Birch wrapped in a towel, holding up the small metal frame, which I kept on the side of my dresser, the picture was of all of us the day we left, stood next to Petal outside the salon, she smiled as I walked in.

This was such a bitter sweet moment for all of us, I miss them, oh god I have really missed everyone, you have no idea how hard it can be without them.

She put the picture down, and lifted up the bottle of sleeping pills, and turned to me, her bright eyes stared at me, and I felt exposed.

Maybe I should rephrase that, you know too… Seriously Deads, why didn’t you say something?

I had forgotten, I know how she feels about medication, especially addictive ones. I had been so happy to see her, I had not thought. She had caught me out, I was busted, her bright green eyes shone with life, and she wanted an answer, and I did not really know what to say. I didn’t want to spoil the moment, I just stood there with my head down, shivering like crazy, and dripping on the carpet, completely naked, showing my unshaved vagina, which had grown into a small shrubbery to rival even Deb’s, and feeling more exposed in her gaze, than I would if I walked naked through the village fete. My eyes filled with tears.

I thought we were over, and I missed you…. I was so incredibly lonely…. So frigging heart broken. This village hates me, and has made my life a nightmare, it got to me… I needed you, you have no idea how much I really needed you, and it hurt so badly, because you were not here with me. What the fuck do you want me to say Birch…. I fell in love with the one person I can never truly be with, and I lost her, and it hurt so badly, I could not deal with the pain of it all, is that what you want to hear?

Two tears ran from her eyes, and rolled down her cheeks, and she just exploded, and screamed at me.

YOU CAN NEVER…. NEVER…. NEVER EVER DO THAT TO ME DEADS!

She shook her head, as more tears rolled down her face, and her voice dropped to an almost inaudible squeak.

Not ever.

She came round the bed, reached out, and snatched me into her arms, and almost crushed me, she held me so tight. Her face buried into my shoulder and she started to sob.

No matter what happens, you must never leave me, promise me Deads…. Promise me you will never leave me alone in this world, because I would not survive if you left me alone?

Her sobs became bitter and painful, and I was wrong footed now. I stood there with my arms around her, as she cried like I never thought was possible, and all I could do was hold her.

I noticed movement, I saw my mum through the doorway stood in the living room, behind her, two hot steaming plates were on the table. Her eyes were fixed on us, and she smiled, and gave a gentle nod, and then backed away. It was almost as if she knew something I didn’t. Mum turned, and quietly left, as Birch sniffled into my shoulder.

How did our world get so fucked up Deads? I had no idea; I gave her a squeeze.

You tell me… You’re supposed to be the bloody expert. She gave a gasp of a chuckle and then sniffled.

Yeah… But I still have a lot to learn, trust me your mum was right, life has bumps in it, I just never realised they would be this sodding big. She slipped back and wiped her nose on her hand.

I screwed up Deads… I really screwed up big time, and all I could think of was I need my dark little beastie, if I am with her, the answers will come. I looked at her and sighed.

While you’re at it, find a few for me too… Dinner… Manchester tea, is here, let’s eat whilst it’s hot. I pointed behind her. Tissues are there. She started to giggle.

God, I have missed this Deads.

I got it, she had no idea of how much I missed this, I looked at her as she turned to grab a tissue, and felt the surge of my truth explode inside me. I looked at her as she wiped her nose, and it just slipped out.

Then stay with me Birch, and don’t ever leave me again.

Chapter 3

Surprising Revelations.

The house was different and the same, the comfy chair and wall unit were gone, and I now had a new desk with my desk top computer, with a small side table, on which was my laptop. Above the desk, my dad had a carpenter come in and build a large book case, to surround above, and down both the sides of the desk, which was now home to my books and DVD collection. I kept the table and two wooden chairs, mainly because some of my happiest memories, had been sat at it, or watching it with Birch sat there framed by the window.

The wall that ran along the bathroom to the door, now had a big soft comfy sofa, which also pulled out into a double bed, I had offered it Deb’s when she stayed, but she had blushed, and asked if it was okay to sleep in my bed. She too missed us all jumping in at night together. The underfloor heating was upgraded, in the sense that a quieter and more economical heater was added, but apart from that, little has changed.

I left the bedroom pretty much as it was, it is silly, but for me it was a sacred place. I hung my large painting of us by Hatty over the bed, and I swapped the wardrobe with the one from my room as it was bigger, and had a section with draws in for panties and socks etc. My bedside table has booze on one side of the bed, and on the other side, sanitary towels, baby wipes, and tissues, as well as thousands of condoms, left by Birch.

We sat at the table eating, and watching the rain outside, as Birch told me the story of Melody Pritchard, a bright, very clever university student, who had come up from Bristol to study at Manchester. I cannot deny I got a few shivers, as Birch filled me in on what she was like.

She had arrived at the practice, after being referred there by Birch’s dad, she was lonely, afraid, very geeky, and insecure, naive way more than Deb’s, and from a sheltered background. She was struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, because two years before Uni, she had gone to a party and passed out, and three boys had for want of a better word, screwed her.

She had told no one, she had been a virgin before that night, and only really understood what had happened when she woke up to find semen leaking out of her. Birch told me how hard it had been to get her to talk, she pointed out that Melody had not been unsimilar to me. I got cold shivers just hearing that.

Birch had worked with her for two years, and she really thought she was making progress, Melody had finally admitted that she had a boyfriend at home. He had been the one that had found her weeping at the party, and walked her home, and been kind to her, and each day, he had checked on her, and so over time they began to date.

Even though she was miles away, they talked every day, and on her term trips home they spent a lot of time together, there was obviously more, but Birch could only tell me so much, after all, she was a client, and even though she had died, Birch still kept her deepest confidences secret. Birch sat back and lifted her glass of gin, and gave a long sigh.

At our last meeting, she was quieter than normal, but final exams were on the horizon, and she was anxious. I missed something Deads, I must have, we talked about how much she had changed. Her anxiety was a hundred times less than it had been, and she had not suffered a panic attack in four months, and yet two days after our last session, they found her dead from an overdose in her dorm, and a note that said life this way is less painful, sorry.

She breathed in a deep breath and swallowed hard, I had seen the emotion that had surged up in her, I knew that feeling all too well, I reached across the table and grabbed her hand.

Birch how could you know, how many times have you said to me, it is those who never mention it that do it, and the ones who threaten, who never will? She said nothing Birch, you could not have seen it, I am sorry but you are brilliant and so great at spotting things, but you had no hope of ever seeing that. She looked up at me as I leaned across the table.

You and her are so alike, and you were going to leave me too.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and it tore me apart, nothing is worse than seeing Birch with tears in her eyes, she gave a sob.

You did not tell me either, you would have left me without saying goodbye Deads.

Her shoulders shook, and she gave out a huge sob, and looked down at the table, where her tears dripped onto her empty plate. I felt wretched inside, it was heart breaking to watch, I squeezed her hand.

Birch I am still here; I am not going anywhere… See, your dark little beastie is sat right in front of you.

She gave a huge gasp, and just wailed, as more tears flooded into her eyes.

You are blonde with no fringe, and I frigging hate it… My dark little beastie has gone to the light, and I want her back.

Actually, that was a low blow, and if I am honest a tad pathetic. Melody I get, but wailing the house down because my hair grew out, and I was blonde again, why the hell was that a crime, or reason to break down?

Her shoulders shook as her sobs got faster, I could see her lip trembling, it was ridiculous, a quick trip to the chemist, and