We All Wear Orange: Locked up, but free to follow Jesus

By Timothy Vagus

A Christian chaplain shares his years of frank discussions with thousands of prison inmates. 52 chapters, each animated by God's great compassion, wisdom, and challenges to us, range over life's landscape of beauty and pain.

 

• We're all felons before God. We all wear orange.
• Time on earth is a life sentence. No one

• Language: English
• Publisher: Oxbow Lake
• Release date: Mar 23, 2022
• ISBN: 9781945413070

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WE ALL WEAR ORANGE

Locked up, but free to follow Jesus

Timothy Vagus

Published by Oxbow Lake

P.O. Pox 175, Englewood, CO 80151

We All Wear Orange: Locked Up, But Free to Follow Jesus

Copyright © 2021, by Timothy Vagus

The author receives no financial remuneration, direct or indirect, from his work with inmates or this book.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

EBOOK ISBN 978-1-945413-07-0

PRINT ISBN 978-1-945413-06-3

Acknowledgements and Dedication

I am deeply grateful to my wife. She consistently encouraged my volunteer chaplain work and prayed for prisoners who wanted to change.

Later, Brian, Gary, Jan, and Rick opened doors that led to extended contact through writing.

Thanks also go to Bill, David, Julie, Michael, and William. They read drafts of the book and gave many helpful comments.

This is dedicated to the thousands of dear souls I met inside concrete and steel. May they carry on bravely, knowing they are loved and are not alone. As an aging man’s testimony to his nine grandchildren, it is written in hope that they grow up to love the Lord Jesus as their parents do. And it is especially for you, dear readers, who seek pardon and peace in your own prison.

Author’s Preface

Talking about oneself is way overrated, but a little might help.

After a year of college, I became an atheist. But I found that atheism is an intellectual and psychological prison. Awakened to its many flaws, I wanted out. To my great surprise, the door of my cell was unlocked, and I happily left. Since then, after completing a BA, MA, and PhD, the historical Jesus remains the best and most profound instructor I’ve ever had.

Life and work in six often politically unstable countries enriched and tempered my outlook. Though I’ve never been imprisoned, bands of armed men twice took me captive. A third time, the leader tried to shoot me. Amazingly, in all three instances I was set free and unharmed. Disease and other dangers have also come and gone. Experience alone doesn’t deserve a podium, but it can inform our perspective.

Later, I volunteered as a chaplain in a county jail. I also served in two high-security state prisons. After almost eight years, I had met hundreds of times with groups of male inmates. The content of this book grew out of presentations to and discussions with them.

From March 2020 to June 2021, when policies restricted direct access to prisoners, I wrote down and expanded those presentations. A non-profit organization included them—what you now see as 52 chapters—in weekly letters which they mailed to male and female inmates in several states and types of penal institutions.

More important, a bit about the incarcerated. When with prisoners, usually small groups for an hour at a time, we talk about life and hope. Those who attend are dear people who want to change. Some are the most amazing individuals I’ve ever met. Here’s a summary of the key truths we share:

We’re all felons before God. We all wear orange.

Time on earth is a life sentence. No one gets out alive.

Only Jesus Christ grants forgiveness, meaning, and life after this.

Regardless of our past, our life has value. How will we respond to Jesus?

You also wear orange. Join us and experience pardon in prison.

Come to Me

Jesus Christ was not a nice man. He said many disturbing things. Nice people don’t talk like that.

When we read the words of Jesus, he speaks again—today and to us. Some of his claims are stunning and seem impossible, for he promises what only God can fulfill. Here and now, to each of us, Jesus gives his greatest challenge and most comforting offer. We should consider it carefully.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Come …" Jesus simply invites. He respects human freedom. There is no force, insult, or scorn. The choice to stay as we are or begin afresh is ours alone.

"… to me …" No human could invent the person of Jesus. His well-documented life demonstrates complete purity, deep wisdom, and unnerving insight. His proclamations and performances are like no other. His self-sacrificial death and resurrection are historically rock-solid.

Though beyond our imagination, Jesus demands our consideration. Yes, he is exclusive, without apology, as only God can rightly be. Jesus is not what we always want, but exactly what we always need. Only the maker of our soul can love us perfectly.

Jesus acknowledges our God-given right to wander away, but he can never condone it. Many would-be saviors offer hope and help. We might look to our unique talents and opportunities. Or we might turn elsewhere to the idols of our day: money, leaders, government, pleasure, doctors, family, religion, power, fame …. In the end, they are all weak or selfish or ignorant or temporary. Everything disappoints. We are all prisoners, locked up and without hope in a confusing and dangerous place. And none of us will get out alive. Only Jesus, strong and near, offers real hope.

"… all you who are weary and burdened …" We may be weary from pain, fear, trouble, injustice, haunting memories, or death. We should be burdened by our limitations, failures, and guilt. Jesus speaks to all people, but he’s of no interest to the self-satisfied. Only when we sense our dire situation can we consider his offer.

… and I will give you rest. Rest and peace in this crazy existence? Yes, especially in this crazy existence. Rest from fixing ourselves and others. Peace through God’s forgiveness. Rest behind the bars of life. Peace in our coming release.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me …" This is Jesus’ challenge. We’re all disciples of someone, if only our own ego. We all trust something, if only our own understanding. Earthly existence itself is often a heavy burden. So we all wear a yoke.

When we accept Jesus’ yoke, we give up the failed rule of our life. We let him be our leader and guide. We let him oversee our days and our future. But we do not disappear. We learn and grow, like Jesus himself when he was a child. We are taught directly by the source of all goodness, beauty, and wondrous complexity. We trust and are encouraged by Jesus’ best for us. We become his disciple.

"… for I am gentle and humble in heart …" Here is something new—a strong leader who is gentle and humble. We’ve been betrayed by leaders and we’ve failed as leaders. Jesus is unlike all others. He’s no thankless boss, sneering jailer, cold tyrant, harsh parent, self-promoting narcissist, cheating lover, or backstabbing traitor. Jesus rejects all that. He offers us his care and patience.

Jesus’ life proves his humility. He knows all about yokes. He came and took on a weak, tiresome human body. He endured a vagabond’s life. He was often scoffed at and rejected. And he certainly didn’t want to be crucified, but he obeyed his trustworthy Father. Though Jesus was already great, because of his humble obedience he was made even greater in stunning, unheard of ways. God his Father raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things (Ephesians 1:20-22, NLT).

Jesus asks of us nothing he didn’t do himself. Likewise, he withholds no reward from his disciples. He makes them great too (Matthew 19:27-29; Ephesians 2:6; 1 Corinthians 6:2-3; James 1:12; Revelation 2:9-11, 3:11-13).

… and you will find rest for your souls. Rest. Here it is again for emphasis. Rest for the real us deep down inside, a guaranteed future, and God’s support throughout our life.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. And here again is his yoke. But it’s light, nothing like all the burdens we carry around on our own. Pick your poison, we say. Jesus says, Pick your yoke. Mine is the best.

But what if, at times, we thrash about? What if we break free and run off? We have and we will. During Jesus’ trial, Peter denied even knowing him. We are all traitors. But let’s keep learning from Jesus. Let’s stop hurting ourselves and others. Society, our thoughtless impulses, and the hate-filled devil all want control. The more we quietly trust Jesus, the easier we will sense his gentle tug on the yoke of our life. The more we follow, the more our peace.

Teach me, Lord Jesus, my gentle and humble God. Thank you for sacrificing your life for mine. Guide me with your easy yoke. Grant me rest. And help me share with others what you can do for them.

A Killer Disciple

Before his conversion, the Apostle Paul had been a first-degree murderer, guilty of plotting and ordering the execution of early Christians (Acts 8:1-3, 9:1-19, 22:3-5). He describes himself then as a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man (1 Timothy 1:13). Though Jesus had already been crucified and Paul knew things about him, Paul says that he was essentially ignorant about the truth. After covering his hands with innocent blood, he became a faithful disciple.

How did that happen? How was Paul transformed? Basically, he came to believe in and trust the God-man of history, the subject of Old Testament prophecy, and the one worshipped by those he had killed. Years after Paul’s conversion, he wrote a letter to churches in Galatia, today part of modern Turkey. In it, he sums up for us the great change in his life. His description is not a series of life events, but the meaning of what Christ had done for him and Paul’s response to it.

In our first chapter we looked at Jesus’ great challenge. There, he invites us to come and find rest. Paul’s story is a powerful example of how Jesus fulfills his promise. In him we see a felon at peace, the heart of a once dreadful person who took Jesus at his word. Jesus said Come. Paul went, and here’s his testimony.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Because Paul’s statement is so important, this unpacked and more English-friendly rephrasing might help.

I have been crucified with Christ. That means the old me died, and in the new me Christ now lives. So I carry on in my life by always trusting him. He is the Son of God. And it was he who loved me and gave up his own life for me. (Author’s paraphrase of the original Greek)

Those truths are central to the life of all who follow Jesus. Let’s look at them closely, just as we did with Jesus’ offer to us in Matthew 11:28-30.

First, Paul says he was crucified with Christ. He’s like the thief nailed to a cross next to Jesus, but somehow even closer. Because Jesus was executed in his place, the execution of Paul the murderer has been carried out. Paul’s life-demanding debt is paid by the sacrifice of another. Jesus gave up his own life in our place. That’s the essence of the gospel, the good news. There is nothing greater for us who wear orange.

In stating that Jesus "loved me and gave up his life for me, Paul paints another exquisite scene. Jesus died not just for the whole world and its billions of people (John 3:16; 1 John 2:2), but for Paul himself, despicable though he was. That means Jesus died for each of us too. For me and for you. If even a small bird is important to God, how much more all of us (Matthew 10:29-31)? God’s personal and deeply intimate love can soften the hardest heart. Every single one of us is the apple of his eye." We all love and believe in something. From pleasure to power, from family to revenge, from art to destruction. Will anything love us and satisfy us as Jesus does?

The new Paul lives by faith in the Son of God, he always trusts him. My grandfather, ashamed of his behavior, committed suicide. Paul might have done the same. Instead, he kept looking at Jesus. The more clearly we face not just our failures, weaknesses, and sins, but our Savior’s sacrifice for us, the greater our love in return. The Lord Jesus Christ liberates us not just from external judgment, but from our own self-condemnation. Because Jesus died in Paul’s place, Paul’s guilt is paid and his past has ended. Everything is new.

Like Paul, we may remember our past, but it need not own us. With love—not shame—in our eyes, we can live a new life. Paul says he died but lives on. He starts over. He turns his back on a stupid, selfish past, his wild and willful former existence. He leaves the prison of a wasted life and begins afresh under his Savior’s guidance. Jesus lives in Paul, and likewise in all who accept him. Understood rightly, the possibility stuns us. Though far beyond what the tiny, human mind can fully grasp, our Liberator happily descends to free and befriend encaged hearts.

We end with this. Jesus is a startling blend of power and humility. He stooped down and then laid down his life for us. We are not powerful. At least we can choose to be humble. As we bow before him each day and in every circumstance, he will help us rise and live by his strength. Like that once terrible Paul, we too can say, Christ lives in me.

Drug Dealers, Murderers,

and Sexual Offenders

The first known drug user is Noah (Genesis 9:18-27). Some people claim he was innocent, unaware of alcohol’s influence. But even if Noah’s wine was the first ever made and consumed, which is doubtful, he wasn’t innocent. No one gets drunk on a little sip. As we continue, we sense the effects and either choose to continue or to stop. Noah didn’t stop. He drank heavily, made a