Screams in the Desert: Hope and Humor for Women in Cross-Cultural Ministry

By Sue Eenigenburg

Hope and Humor for Women in Cross-Cultural Ministry

Screams in the Desert is an invitation to participate in one woman’s cross-cultural journey and the lessons she learns along the way. Sue Eenigenburg’s poignant and humorous accounts of life overseas provide insight into issues that many women encounter in the mission field. Join Sue for trips to the zoo, bouts of illness, landmine fields, miscommunications, and other everyday experiences of life in a foreign country. 

Providing women with examples to learn by, scripture to meditate on, and space to write about personal experiences, Screams in the Desert offers hope and humor to women working cross-culturally.

• Language: English
• Publisher: William Carey Library
• Release date: Jun 1, 2007
• ISBN: 9781645082149

Sue Eenigenburg

Sue Eenigenburg is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and Lancaster Bible College and Graduate School. She has been in cross-cultural ministry since 1986 and is currently Director of Women’s Ministry for Christar. Sue is married to Don. Their clan includes four children, their spouses and twelve grandchildren. She is the author of Screams in the Desert and More Screams, Different Deserts. Sue co-authored Expectations and Burnout: Women Surviving the Great Commission.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Great Expectations

A sick feeling stole into the pit of my stomach as we neared New Personnel Orientation back in 1985. What was I doing? I had always been willing to work overseas; I just never thought I actually would. I didn’t attend any of those pizza suppers where recruiters talked about working in a different country. Yet here I was, along with my husband and two little boys, on the way to prepare for life overseas.

I read many books about famous people who lived and worked overseas—people who did amazing things, faithful men and women who served God. These people had books written about them. They had deep sayings that people quoted; they seemed like super-saints to me. How in the world was I ever going to fit into this same mold? Did the ones who had gone before me ever struggle with having their quiet times consistently? Were they ever afraid? Did they ever doubt their calling? How did they balance their work and their family? Were they always such spiritual giants? Did they ever sin? Did they ever crave chocolate?

My expectations for myself soared as I officially became a worker overseas. I should be able to do it all—keep a clean house, have long quiet times, raise near–perfect children, be near perfect myself, be a loving wife, lead thousands, well, at least hundreds, to truth, keep up with all correspondence, cook healthy foods, do laundry in such a way that the colors remained vibrant and the whites would dazzle the eyes!

I knew I couldn’t do this in my own country—I just hoped something magical or even better, something supernatural, would happen to me as I crossed the ocean for my new vocation.

It didn’t.

I was still me. As we settled in, I felt even more was expected of me—learning the language and culture well, attending and participating in team meetings, hospitality, fearlessness, boldness, visiting neighbors, and the list continues.

I admit that I put many of these pressures on myself. I wanted to be super spiritual so that I could be like those who had gone before me. Wouldn’t it be neat if people wrote books about me? (Sue Eenigenburg’s Spiritual Secret or My Utmost Isn’t Much but It’s Still for His Highest). I would love it if someone quoted me because of something really deep that I had said.

Eventually, God broke through my day dreaming of greatness, as well as through my guilt of not being as great as I wanted to be. I could never do all I wanted to do or be all that I wanted to be. Most of my great expectations were self–focused, self–propelled, and self–gratifying. It didn’t matter if anyone ever wrote a book about me; I was still loved and valued by God. He wanted me to be me—to love him, walk with him, be faithful to him, serve him. He is the One who matters. His is the name I should want to honor.

The main reason I had that sick feeling back in 1985 is that I, unknowingly, felt the whole process and end results of my life and work were up to me. They’re not.

You can quote me on that.

Read Matthew 22:34–40

When the Pharisees heard how he had bested the Sadducees, they gathered their forces for an assault. One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important? (vv. 34–36).

Jesus said, ’Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them. (vv. 37–40).

Questions

1. Take a minute to evaluate whether you have been basing your value on what you do rather who you are. When do you feel good about yourself? When do you feel bad about yourself?

2. How are these feelings linked to behavior?

3. Recognizing God’s love for you, how have you responded to him this week?

4. Write down expectations that you had of yourself, your team and God. How have these been met or remained unfulfilled?

5. According to Matthew 22:34–40, what are the most important things to do in life?

Action

Sing a love song to God.

Prayer

Father, this life is all about you.

Help me to not depend or focus only on myself.

May I seek to love you above all else.

May I love others in word and deed.

May my passion for ministry never exceed my passion for you.

Glorify your name through me. Amen.

Chapter 2

Diarrhea and Team Life

I had been on a basketball team, Bible quiz team and volleyball team. However, nothing had quite adequately prepared me for being part of a church-planting team. When we had been in the Middle East only a short time, I came down with King Tut’s Revenge. During our weekly team meeting, we had a time for sharing prayer requests. I wanted to share as delicately as I could about my diarrhea, so I merely asked for prayer concerning stomach problems. Suddenly the team bombarded me with questions, Do you have diarrhea? What color is it? Is there any blood? Does it smell really bad? Is there mucus? Is it all liquid? Was nothing private? Did these people have to know what color it was?

I slowly began to realize these people wanted to help. Because of their experience in this area, they knew what kinds of medicine would be best for what symptoms. They weren’t embarrassed. I didn’t have to be embarrassed. We were a team—all for one and one for all.

As time went on, I realized that a team is not just a group of people that hang out together and work together; it is a group of individuals who are deeply committed to each other and to the Lord. They want to know (and often need to know) details of how my life is going—even to know the color of my King Tut’s Revenge! They can and want to help.

Once I was so angry with my husband over an issue that I didn’t sit next to him at our team meeting as I usually did. A friend asked me, Did you and your husband have a disagreement? Amazed, I told her, Yes, and wondered how she could tell so easily. She exhorted me to get it fixed right away. I was not angry at her for interfering in what could be considered my business. I knew that my business, especially if it were a growing root of bitterness, would affect my life, team life and ministry. I heeded her advice and soon my husband and I were sitting together again.

Relating as teammates doesn’t only involve confrontation. It includes encouragement. At one team meeting, a person took one look at me and said, It is obvious that God has done something special in your life this week. Would you please tell me about it? I shared how God delivered me from the sin of reading novels that were too sexually explicit. I had been trapped and unwilling to give up this habit of reading books that were unsuitable for me. The Holy Spirit gave me victory as I yielded this area of my life to him. As a result, the light that had been hidden in my life was finally revealed. A team member noticed the change and we glorified God together.

Being a part of a team involves carrying responsibilities. We seek the best for each other. In fact, we are committed as a body to carry each other along. When I am in trouble, a team member is there for me. When a team member is in trouble, I try to be there for her. As we share the burden together, the load is lighter and the love we have for each other thrives.

Before we left for the field, no one told me how hard it would be to be a part of a team. No one explained that it would take so much work, time and understanding. No one told me of the great joy of deep friendships in team life. Who could have told me of the pain that comes from caring enough to be involved in each other’s lives and the forgiveness that is constantly in evidence? I need to love each team member enough to prayerfully interfere when necessary. I must also be prayerfully ready for people to interfere in my life. It can hurt. It isn’t always fun. Nevertheless, our love for each other also deepens and strengthens our relationship with God.

Today, at team meetings and during prayer requests if I hear someone new mention a stomach problem, I can hardly believe my ears as I ask them, Do you have diarrhea? What color is it?

Isn’t team life grand?

Read Romans 12:9–21

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. (vv. 9–10)

Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. (vv. 11–13)

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody. (vv. 14–16)

Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. I’ll do the judging, says God. I’ll take care of it. (vv. 17–19)

Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (vv. 20–21)

Questions

1. What do you appreciate about your team?

2. What has been hard about being on your team?

3. Why is being part of team good? How does God use teams?

4. Who are some people who formed teams in Scripture?

5. What are some commands in Romans 12:9–21 that when obeyed will help build team relationships?

Action

Pray for each of your teammates as well as your role as a team member.

Prayer

Lord, you were a team leader.

There were arguments, disagreements, questions and different personalities on your team.

Yet, you loved them and were committed to developing them for your Father’s glory.

Help me be a team player and to commit myself to loving my teammates. Amen

Chapter 3

Terrorists and Chocolate Cake

I guess every family has a grapevine. When we told my husband’s mom about our desire to go to least-reached people, she shared this information with other family members. As it went from one member to another, the wording of the information changed. When we went to visit my sister-in-law, we were sitting at the table and she told me how much she admired us for what we were going to do and where we were going to go. She looked so sincere that I was startled. I asked her, Where are we going? She replied, You are going where no white man has ever gone before!

We have had many responses to our desire to go to the Middle East and share Christ with the least-reached. Here are some examples: How could you take your children so far away and expose them to such danger? Aren’t you afraid of terrorists? I would never go there. I am surprised that you would go to people who kill children. It is so dangerous there. How can you go?

We were bold in telling people how we trusted God to take care of us. Our security does not depend upon circumstances or location, but rests in the loving hands of our heavenly Father. Since God had called us to this task, would he forsake us? Is he not present in other countries? Could he not protect our children there, as well as in our home country?

When we make decisions based on fear, we limit God. It isn’t as if we are going out alone and depending solely on our own resources. Wherever we live, our security doesn’t lie in our situation, good or bad. Our security lies in knowing that God is sovereign and lovingly in control of everything that goes on in our lives. We use common sense and walk wisely, but we do not walk in fear.

When we arrived overseas, our breast-fed daughter, who had yet to eat any solid food, was five months old. We stayed in a room of a small house. As I lay down to take a nap, I made a comfortable, little pallet on the floor next to me where our daughter could sleep. When I awoke, she was gone! I looked under the bed, outside with my husband, under the wardrobe and under the bed again. She was nowhere to be found. Oh, no! Some terrorist has kidnapped my baby, I thought, as I remembered people’s concerns. I began frantically to search for her throughout the house and finally found her in the back room. A sweet national lady was feeding her chocolate cake which she was enjoying very much. It was so easy to forget His loving hands and remember instead fear-filled preconceived notions about this foreign land.

Time passed and we enjoyed making friends in our new home. Our national friends asked us where we were from. Don answered, Chicago. These were some of the responses we heard: Chicago! We could never live in Chicago. It is too dangerous to live there! We know it is impossible to open a store there without gangsters coming in to steal and kill. I would be afraid to live in Chicago.

It is all a matter of perspective, isn’t it?

Read Psalm 56:8–13

You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through

the sleepless nights,

Each tear entered in your ledger,

each ache written in your book. (v. 8)

If my enemies run away,

turn tail when I yell at them,

Then I’ll know

that God is on my side. (v. 9)

I’m proud to praise God,

proud to praise GOD.

Fearless now, I trust in God;

what can mere mortals do to me? (vv. 10–11)

God, you did everything you promised,

and I’m thanking you with all my heart.

You pulled me from the brink of death,

my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.

Now I stroll at leisure with God

in the sunlit fields of life. (vv. 12–13)

Read Proverbs 3:25–26

No need to panic over alarms or surprises,

or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,

Because GOD will be right there with you;

he’ll keep you safe and sound. (vv. 25–26)

Questions

1. Describe when you were last fearful.

2. Think back to a time in your life when you were afraid. Write down how God comforted you and helped you.

3. Can a person live in faith and fear at the same time? Why or why not?

4. Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Fear is. List your fears, give them to God and determine to walk by faith, trusting in Him.

5. Rewrite Proverbs 3:25–26 in your own words.

Action

Memorize Psalm 56:12–13

Prayer

Lord, sometimes I am afraid.

Help me not to let fear rule in my heart and determine my future course of action.

May I walk by faith, trusting you to hold my hand and guide me. Amen.

Chapter 4

Culture Shock Without Electricity

After my husband Don finished carrying and moving our fourteen trunks about fifteen times, we finally arrived at our destination! It was 115 degrees that day in the Middle East and we were quite warm as our taxi deposited us at our new home. The gardener had just watered the dirt, and after Don finished arguing with the taxi driver about the fare, he left the kids and me in the courtyard to wait while he walked several blocks to get the key. Before he got back, three of my four kids had fallen in the mud. The fourth one had tried to eat it.

As my husband was walking, someone pick-pocketed him and took all the money he had just exchanged. Don got the key and came back.