Ripple Effect: A Transformational Journey into God's Heart That Will Change You from the Inside Out

By Jillian Ahonen

Are you ready for more? 

 

Do you find yourself doing all the things a Christian does, but running on empty, inwardly struggling, unable to get to a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marked Publishing
• Release date: Mar 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781734208078

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Revelation of Love

Imade a conscious decision in high school that I didn’t really want to be a Christian anymore. Life outside of my church upbringing seemed way more attractive at the time. Looking back, I can clearly see where the enemy was twisting things, using situations to lead me away from Truth and into a lifestyle that was far from God’s heart. The day I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter at just eighteen years old, I ran back to Jesus.

It was really that simple.

I believed that I would be received by Him and that the moment I ran back to Him, I was made right, forgiven, redeemed . . . a spotless bride!

I was met with His unrelenting love, and placed a purity ring on my finger without a second thought of reservation. My mom bought me a new one with my unborn baby’s birthstone on it; a pearl for June. Looking back, I can see how God used that moment to solidify all I was taught—I was forgiven and the moment I turned to Him, I was reconciled. He gave me a brand-new life with promise. If Jesus came to restore everything, I was included in that restoration.

I didn’t struggle with the concept of grace, mercy, and unconditional love.

I didn’t question whether or not I was truly forgiven.

I didn’t feel ashamed when I went to church.

When people gave me looks while we were out and about, I smiled, free and clear of feeling embarrassed. After all, I was barely nineteen. I knew I was being stereotyped, but I didn’t care. I made countless mistakes, and God turned my life around with my baby girl in my arms. She was, and is, my undeserved gift from God.

The Word of God says that He will work my life out for good.

And I believed Him.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

— Romans 8:28-30 (NIV)

I was predestined for destiny with Him.

I was called and justified so that He may be glorified in me and through me.

Not that being a teenage single mom was easy. I don’t want to paint a picture that this course change was an easy one. I had to learn and grow through many challenges (I’m still growing and learning). But I believed and put my trust in God’s unconditional love, and because of that, I was able to wholeheartedly run back to Him. This moment became the foundation that my new life was built upon.

Notice the key to unlocking this confidence was through believing what God says is true.

My belief system is simple: If God’s Word says it, I believe Him.

For the last twenty-four-plus years, the Holy Spirit continues to take me to a deeper revelation of what it means to live confidently from His unconditional, undeserving, unwavering love. His love is not complex. It’s simple, yet overwhelmingly powerful and beyond my human comprehension. I am continually in awe . . . His love truly is my freedom.

However, what I’ve observed from so many who genuinely love Jesus is they can talk about God’s love, sing about His love, yet wrestle internally with acceptance. Not just from God, but also with themselves and with others. The struggle is subconscious; it’s a secret battle that is playing out and hurting the body of Christ.

I went to the Lord with my concerns, He said: What you see is My children who need a revelation of My love. A love encounter with Me.

Simple truth: When we receive a personal revelation of God’s overwhelming love, and that nothing can separate us from Him—we live differently.

When God’s unconditional love syncs with our hearts, we begin to see everything and everyone, including ourselves, through His amazing love.

Through His pure, unrelenting, overwhelming, all-encompassing, empowering, fulfilling, life-changing, earth-shaking, breathtaking . . . I could go on forever and ever, l-o-v-e—LOVE!

His love changes the very chemistry of our internal wiring—we begin to think differently, act differently, see differently and what flows out of us looks like the love of Jesus that we read about in the Bible. His love is not supposed to be forced; it’s natural. This natural flow of His unconditional love is where forgiving those who have hurt us (or think differently) comes straight from the throne room of Heaven, because we are not stuck in a conditional love that puts parameters on ourselves or those around us. We love because He first loved us, and from there we are empowered to forgive as Jesus does. Loving those who are imperfect (ahem, this includes your family members), or those who don’t know Jesus, does not come naturally unless the overwhelming love of the Father is flooding our lives. This natural love is the effortless rhythm filled with grace upon grace that God has invited us into.

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

— 1 John 4:16 (NLT)

Are you experiencing this effortless rhythm in your life or is your love toward yourself and others conditional?

Let’s go deeper and a bit more personal . . . Are you loving your family and those closest to you through God’s overwhelming grace and love, or is it more natural to unleash your anger and impatience on them once you pull away from the church building?

His love changes the very chemistry of our internal wiring—we begin to think differently, act differently, see differently and what flows out of us looks like the love of Jesus that we read about in the Bible.

God sees what many hide. Let’s be honest with our hidden areas and get our hearts right before the Lord. We need the Holy Spirit and an infilling of His unconditional love to love ourselves and others well!

Maybe you’re stuck on this idea that loving yourself is vanity and my mention of this doesn’t sit right with you.

Here’s a scripture to consider, one I’ve reflected on myself:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

— Mark 12:30-31 (NIV)

What if we have self-hate in our hearts?

If we don’t love ourselves well, we cannot effectively love others. In fact, we will end up judging them the same way we judge ourselves. With this being said, let’s include ourselves in the love factor and realize that the measure of grace and love that we need from God is not just for those around us, it’s for us as well. God actually wants us to love ourselves, the way He does.

What I’ve discovered through my own personal journey, coaching sessions, and as I do life with my family of faith, is a gap between knowing about God’s love versus living from a place of unconditional love. The root problem is a lack of trust. Many of us are struggling to trust in God’s unconditional love, not realizing the internal block. When we struggle to trust and simply receive His love, loving others remains a challenge.

Rather than being filled with God’s unconditional love, we are empty and only have a conditional love to give. Then, we meet someone who is, well, prickly, causing a jolt to our system, triggering a negative feeling that causes us to pull back, withholding grace and love. Oftentimes we listen to those feelings and develop a judgment toward that person who rubbed us wrong, sometimes even going as far as to build hatred against them in our hearts. In truth, we are living from our feelings instead of from our new natures, which is to be like Christ, freely loving because He first loved us.

We love each other because He loved us first. If someone says, I love God, but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

— 1 John 4:19-20 (NLT)

Yikes . . . whoever hates a brother or sister is a liar.

Sounds harsh, right!?

Many of us are struggling to trust in God’s unconditional love, not realizing the internal block.

This is God’s Word which is the lamp for our feet that lights up the path of life for us. So, we really need to take into consideration what may be going on in our hearts.

I get it.

Who wants to admit that there might be hate in their heart toward others?

It’s ugly, right?

Avoiding what’s stirring in our hearts is not going to get rid of it. The issue festers, creating barriers in our hearts, limiting the flow of God’s love in us and through us, and we become ineffective—limited by our old nature.

The flesh.

Then we read the love chapter in Corinthians and try in our own strength to look like love while struggling with secret battles of guilt and reasoning because of the strong negative feelings that are weighing in. What are we left to do other than learn to work harder at covering up what we are feeling so we can look and sound like love? We end up leaving the Holy Spirit out of the equation, not even considering going to Him for help.

Now, many genuinely believe that reading God’s Word and hearing the messages we’ve been given on love is asking for God’s help, but is it?

We can do a heart check to see if we’ve allowed the Holy Spirit to genuinely help us in the love factor or if we are trying to look and sound like love in our own strength. It begins with being honest with ourselves, a willingness to evaluate what’s going on in our hearts and our thought-life, and checking to see if what we are feeling and thinking lines up with the heart of the Father.

Here are some great journal questions to help you connect—this could be a good "pause and reflect’’ point for you . . .

Do you feel a softness toward others, or do you pull back with harsh, unloving thoughts?

Is love truly running through you or are you creating a façade of love by saying all the right things, but feeling the opposite toward others?

Are there people that you have cut out of your life, maybe even your own family members whether the church body or your immediate family, and you are withholding love with your list of justifications and reasons?

Have you been hurt by someone and your thoughts toward them are strong and hate-filled?

Keep in mind I am not referring to a need for safety in abusive situations. That is a completely separate conversation. But we still need to check in with our hearts to find out if hate is stirring.

Looking at these truths will reveal the areas where we are struggling in our flesh, not living by the Spirit, and in need of a healing touch from Jesus.

I know I’m probably hitting some pressure points here. Please know that this is not to shame anyone, but an invitation for us to evaluate what’s stirring in our hearts. We, as a church body, are struggling with the love factor big time, and many are faking love.

Yes—I am calling us all out right now!

It’s okay.

Deep breath.

We, as a church body, are struggling with the love factor big time, and many are faking love.

I have gone through seasons where I have struggled to see people through God’s eyes and genuinely struggled to like them, let alone love them.

I know, shocker, right? (Insert eye roll here)

Upon recognizing my distaste, I acknowledged my hidden inner struggle, brought it to the light of God’s presence, and asked my Heavenly Father to show me who they are to Him. I invited the Holy Spirit to help me see them through my Father’s eyes, not my own.

His love overwhelmed me for them.

I didn’t shove away my inner struggle, justify or rationalize my flesh (giving myself a list of excuses and reasons), or even try to find something good about them (try doing that when all you see is their flaws, weakness, and mistakes). Instead, I acknowledged my struggle before the Lord and asked for help.

And He showed up!

I think we forget that we can go to the Holy Spirit for help in all areas of life. As I included Him in this personal struggle, He began to show me how my tendency to judge or criticize (usually in my head) was revealing brokenness or insecurity in myself that was not fully restored in Christ. These moments became an opportunity to invite Him into my places of brokenness and insecurity so I could experience His supernatural healing touch in each area of need. Not only did He touch my insecure areas and reveal a greater understanding of my worth to Him, He flooded me with a love toward someone that I was unable to love in my own strength. This was such an incredible experience, proving I didn’t need to acquire anything or try to get myself to a more loving or accepting place in my heart. Now, when I find myself criticizing, judging, or withholding love, I quickly catch it and ask the Holy Spirit to give me His heart and eyes to see them the way He does. This moves me to a place of compassion and grace with an overwhelming love for them, rather than allowing a toxic thought-life to rip them apart in my head.

Hey, jus’ being real here and calling those judgy, unloving, critical, not-walking-in-grace thoughts what they are . . . TOXIC!

This Holy Spirit-led prayer continues to be a powerful tool that I use regularly. Especially when someone I love hurts me. I wasn’t consciously aware of what I was doing or following any type of step-plan. I just believe that God calls me to love and see others with a pure heart, and in my flesh it’s impossible.

For those who really struggle with letting those negative thoughts go, justifying why it’s ok to think (or speak) them towards any given person, realize you are grieving the Holy Spirit in you.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

— Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV)

It seems that those who are closest to us can hurt us the most, am I right?

That’s because we’ve given them space in our hearts, and in their humanness, they are flawed just like you and me. Through our Father’s eyes, we can see them through His unconditional love and that they are hurting individuals with brokenness themselves. This perspective moves our hearts to pray for them. While our hearts may hurt deeply, we can invite Jesus to come into that place of wounding for our healing. This new life in the Spirit causes us to soar with wings like eagles high above our feelings and painful situations.

When we surrender our hurts and struggles to God, we can love others like our Father in Heaven, as we become more like Him, seeing others the way He does, living in the supernatural flow of His heart.

Go ahead, ask the Holy Spirit to bring names to your attention right now.

Take the time to bring each person and each heart-hurt to the Father. Confess to Him where you have withheld forgiveness and unconditional love, and forgive those who have hurt you.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

— Matthew 6:12 (NLT)

Invite Him into the pain these people have caused and believe that He will not only heal those wounds from the past, but He will also fill you until you are overflowing with His love!

When we surrender our hurts and struggles to God, we can love others like our Father in Heaven, as we become more like Him, seeing others the way He does, living in the supernatural flow of His heart.

You can do this each time something surfaces in your life that reveals where you have heart-hurt from a specific person that you need to forgive and where you need more of God’s unconditional love filling you. Lean into what’s going on in your heart, so you can unclog what’s blocking you from God’s transforming love, receive a healing touch from the Father, and get a breakthrough!

Amen?

I have both observed fake love and have also been a recipient of my brothers’ and sisters’ lack of love so many times over it would shock you.

Or maybe it wouldn’t.

Maybe it’s been your story too, and the word church puts a sour taste in your mouth because the body of Christ has not loved you well, or worse, judged and excluded you.

If you have been hurt by the Church, by the family of God, or by your very own brothers and sisters in Christ—I’m sorry. I truly am.

That is not the love of the Father.

Their judgments come from brokenness in them that has not been fully met by His love.

Maybe your experience hasn’t taken you so far away that you don’t go to church. You do go, but with your heart guarded and a barrier that is subconsciously ready to cut anyone out of your life who triggers you. Paul shows us in 2 Corinthians that it is not always a lack of being loved well or right that keeps us from receiving love. It’s because we’ve closed our hearts off from others. Love can’t penetrate. We need to open our hearts wide in order to receive, but because self gets in the way, and we have an underlying fear of hurt or shame that our insecurities might leak out if we let people come too close, so we keep our hearts closed.

My friends at Corinth, our hearts are wide open to you and we speak freely, holding nothing back from you. If there is a block in our relationship, it is not with us, for we carry you in our hearts with great love, yet you still withhold your affections from us. So I speak to you as our children. Make room in your hearts for us as we have done for you. ­

— 2 Corinthians 6:11-14 (TPT)

There have been many times my love has been pure toward others, but barriers in their hearts from life’s hurt had not yet been healed by Jesus, causing their love toward me to be conditional, making it easy to cut me out. Truthfully, the rejection I experienced was from a place of fear in them. When perfect love is moving freely through our hearts, fear gets pushed out and love keeps us connected.

Perfect love casts out—I know you finished the sentence for me.

Fear.

We, as the Church, know the scripture that says perfect love casts out fear, but we aren’t really connecting with that reality; fear is messing with our walks with God and with others.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of being hurt AGAIN.

Fear of someone noticing that we are insecure inside and it will mess with the image we are trying to project.

Fill in the blank of what your fears might be.

Fear is manifesting through the body of Christ and it’s hurting us, creating a negative ripple effect of disconnectedness from each other and even God. This fear factor is causing us to live in the chains of our old nature, robbing us of living in the freedom and unity that Jesus paid for when He tore down the divide that separated us from God and each other.

When perfect love is moving freely through our hearts, fear gets pushed out and love keeps us connected.

Fear is not the only dividing factor that is blocking unity and love in the body of Christ. For generations there has been a constant and clear divide among the church from theological opinions to the ways we do church, the way we worship, political views . . . you name it. Each position decides who is right and who is wrong, putting us at odds with one another, making it impossible to see our Kingdom family through love. Our attention is focusing on the wrong thing and behind the scene, is the enemy at work causing us to lose sight of what’s most important.

If our humanistic views and actions cause the type of division that makes people our enemies, the ones Jesus died for, you better believe that is a strategy straight from hell, the kingdom of darkness! These battles ARE NOT against flesh and blood, so let’s stop waging war against one another.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

— Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

How can we possibly love those we are called to love when we are making them our enemies based on our feelings and a worldly perspective?

The simple answer: we can’t.

The Bible tells us to focus on the things of Heaven, not of this world . . . to not get hung up on earthly matters. Fear, heart-hurt, religion, and a lack of experiencing the Father’s love pits us against one another. God knows what’s going on in each of our hearts, so whether it’s obvious to others or not, remember that nothing is hidden from God. When negative thoughts and emotions stir in our hearts and minds, or we have our list of justifications for our unloving thoughts that go unchecked, we don’t turn to Jesus and get the healing touch from Him that’s available to us. Instead, we withhold love, cut people out of our lives, blame, and demand justice rather than trusting God and loving those we are called