Mother's Tears

By Mildred Colvin

Her father gave her baby away moments after his birth.

Mariam Kellen was only seventeen when her father ignored her protests and took her baby from the midwife before she could hold him. Then he forced her to leave their Mississippi home and follow the Oregon Trail 2,000 miles away so she could never find the infant her heart longed for. Six years later, she teaches school in the small town of Willtown, Oregon, and she’s never stopped looking for the baby she still loves, although she knows she’ll never find him. She determines to go back someday to Mississippi and resume her search. But for now, another little boy near the age of her son has caught her attention. He and his father.

Dillon Booker returned from the War Between the States to find his plantation in ruins and his wife buried in the family plot. After their first two babies were stillborn, he was thrilled to learn the third was healthy, but by the time he made it home, their two remaining servants were caring for his son in a crumbling corner of his once fine home. He took them all to Oregon to escape the war and find the one man he’d admired. But on arrival, he discovered his neighbor, Pastor Kellen, had passed away. Several years later, his son enters school, and he meets the intriguing teacher who is his mentor’s daughter. A friendship develops, but can anything come of it when she resents the man he’s always looked up to?

Mother’s Tears is a story of family, growth, faith, and forgiveness when all seems impossible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mildred Colvin
• Release date: Apr 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005165406

Mildred Colvin

Mildred Colvin is a wife, mother of three, and grandmother to three beautiful girls. She started writing when her children were young as they asked for stories. Not from a book. No! They were only satisfied when she made up stories. As the stories grew, she wrote some down and sent them off to magazines. Eight were published before her imagination turned toward love stories, which is what she enjoys reading.She has been writing Christian or clean and wholesome romance since 2001. Over the years several readers from pre-teens to older kids in their eighties and nineties have written expressing their interest in her books. She always loves to hear about one of her stories touching someone's heart. Her purpose in writing is to encourage, entertain, and bless someone else.She lives in the United States and sets her characters in the middle states from Texas to Nebraska and Iowa and reaching across Illinois to Colorado. She also has an Oregon Trail series, but the Great Plains states are her favorite setting.She is active in a very special critique group and has written and published over 60 books in both historical and contemporary themes, and plans to continue writing as long as God allows. He has been good in giving her many ideas for stories. Maybe more than she will be able to finish, but she enjoys each one.Please take a moment to visit her website at www.mildredcolvin.weebly.com, and sign up for her Romantic Reflections Newsletter to learn when new books are released. Also learn of promotions and free books through her newsletter.And take a look at her books. You might find something you don't want to put down.

Book preview

Mother’s

Tears

Mildred Colvin

Historical Christian Romance

Mother’s Tears

Copyright ©2022 by Mildred Colvin

All Rights Reserved

Cover photo copyright © Mildred Colvin

Smashwords Edition

Scripture portions are taken from the King James version of the Bible.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to events is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without permission in writing from its author except for brief quotations in printed reviews. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

Contents

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

About the Author

Note from the Author

More on the Oregon Trail

Other Historical Romances

Dedication

To my readers who have enjoyed this series of seven books set on the Oregon Trail, and in the new territory and state of Oregon. Those who crossed the continent were pioneers who faced unimaginable hardship to establish a new land. They built homes and cities with their hands, a few tools they brought, and the materials they found. I greatly admire them for their bravery and perseverance. They fulfilled Manifest Destiny. I appreciate those of you who have traveled the trail with me and hope you’ve gained a blessing by reading my books. This is why I write.

~*~*~*~

Chapter 1

Northern Mississippi, January 1863

A shrill, terrifying scream shattered the quiet in the back bedroom of the parsonage. Although frightened by the sound, on some level, Mariam Kellen knew it had come from her.

Her body, heavy and weak, lay on the bed while Sarah, the midwife, bent over her feet. You must push now, Mariam. Push hard, his head has crowned.

Please, God, no! She didn’t want her baby born. She’d lose him if he left her body. Please, Lord, please don’t let him take my baby! She cried out the prayer as her body responded to a call of its own. What good did it do to pray when God couldn’t or wouldn’t answer as she wanted? Pain ripped through her abdomen as another scream filled her head, blocking out the voice that taunted her.

You can’t keep him. When he comes, I’ll take him to a decent, God-fearing woman, and she will raise him right.

This time, the pain seared her body, carrying her child into Sarah’s waiting hands. Mariam lay back exhausted, spent from labor and worry. For a moment she couldn’t think, yet she sensed movement in the room at the foot of her bed. Soon, Sarah would place her baby in her arms. Is it a boy? I want him.

Yes, it’s a boy, and a good thing, too. Her father stood beside the bed, a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms. I’ll take him to his home now. We’ll talk later, Mariam. Finally, you will confess your evil behavior to God. Bow before Him, and never speak of this night to anyone. Do you hear me?

No, give him to me! Gathering strength from her anguish, she lunged for the baby, ignoring the pain her movement caused. He’s my son. Father, please, don’t take him. He’s mine.

Her father stared at her and without a word, walked away, carrying her son into the night.

No! Her cries followed them as she threw the covers back. With every bit of strength she possessed, she struggled to rise.

Strong hands forced her back into bed. No, Miss. Don’t do this. You’ll kill yourself for sure if you get out of this bed. Then where will you be? Let’s get you cleaned up so you can rest. You’ve had a hard night.

Mariam fought the woman whose strength kept her from her son. He’s my baby. I want my baby! Father, bring him back.

Over and over, she called out to her father. She pleaded with the midwife, Sarah, to let her go to her little one. I’ll die without him. Help me get my baby. Please, don’t do this to us.

Sarah ignored everything Mariam said, and with a strength she couldn’t fight, settled her back into the bed. Finally, the midwife brushed Mariam’s disheveled hair back from her face, and with kind eyes, spoke in a tender voice. Mariam, listen to me. Your father is doing what he believes is best for both you and the wee one. A family of means will raise your son, and he will never want. You couldn’t give him what they can. He will have both a father and a mother who will love him very much. Don’t you want the best for your child? Isn’t this what Robert would have wanted?

The gentle voice soothed her in a way she didn’t want but had to accept. At the mention of her fiance’s name, she quieted. What would Robert want? If he was here, he’d want her and their baby to be together. He’d marry her, and they’d live happily ever after away from Father and his hateful strictness.

Oh, she knew she’d done wrong. She and Robert had loved each other dearly, but they shouldn’t have made a baby until they’d married. She knew the rules, and she’d broken a very important one when her love for Robert became more than she could resist. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been going off to war or even if he hadn’t… Tears filled her eyes as she thought of the man she’d loved. He’d left her almost nine months ago, then returned a short month later. Barely long enough for her to suspect the outcome of their night together. But when he came home, it was not to walk into her loving arms, but to be put to rest in the ground at the cemetery beside her father’s church.

Father had been kind at the funeral and afterward until her secret became impossible to hide. Then he’d turned against her and Robert and called their love an atrocity. He said they were evil, and she needed to pray for forgiveness. Why couldn’t he believe when she told him she’d already prayed? After a while, as he continued to berate her and make her hide her condition from the town, she came to believe she was unforgiveable. Surely God had turned His back on her, just as her earthly father had.

She looked up at the midwife. Sarah, do you think God will forgive me if my father won’t?

Sarah took her hand in hers. Yes, He will. Your earthly father is a man, but your Heavenly Father is love itself. He will forgive you if you but ask with an open heart. Faith is the key, Mariam. Ask and believe, and He will forgive you. He loves you, and He loves your baby. If He wills it, you will reunite someday. Just believe.

She was so tired she couldn’t think, but Sarah’s words of encouragement filled her heart with peace. Maybe she should rest now, and tomorrow she’d find out where Father took her baby. Then she’d get him back. It couldn’t be far away. She’d have to hurry, though, before Father made her go to Oregon with him.

~*~

Six years later in Willtown, Oregon, September 1869

Dillon locked his office and took his son’s hand as they walked down Willtown’s Main Street. Papa, am I going to school now?

He glanced down at the boy who’d grown so fast, he could scarcely believe he was old enough to enter school. I don’t know. Are you sure you’re six years old yet?

Dillon Gillmore Booker, the third, lowered his eyebrows in a fierce frown. I’ve been six ever since my birthday. And now that I am, you don’t have to hold my hand. I won’t run into the street.

Is that right? Dillon released Gill’s small hand and felt the loss. Maybe I was holding your hand because I’m scared to talk to the teacher.

Oh, Papa. Gill shook his head, then looked up at him. Do you think she’ll be mean?

They turned the corner at the intersection and walked away from downtown toward the small schoolhouse set back from the road. I don’t think so, or I wouldn’t let you stay. However, if she ever so much as says an unkind word, I want you to tell me immediately. Is that clear?

Gill’s eyes were wide as he nodded.

Dillon stared at the building where he’d have to leave his son. It wasn’t easy to leave the only person in his life in a place like that. He remembered the school he’d gone to as a boy. His teacher had been mean. No doubt about it. Having to sit on the dunce chair in front of the entire school for minor infractions, or a smack across the hand, and whippings were common. He’d seldom gotten into trouble, but only because he was afraid to do anything. So yeah, he was scared. Not for himself, but for the son he loved beyond reason. After two attempts to bear a live baby, his wife had succeeded the third time when Gill had been born. Then she’d died of childbirth fever. Her death and the other losses made him that much more precious.

Today was the first day of school, and they were early. The place looked deserted. He almost hoped it was. Then he could keep Gill with him longer. Crossing the grounds to the front and climbing the steps to the door didn’t take nearly as long as he wished. He paused in front of the door.

Are we supposed to go inside? Gill looked up at him with trusting eyes.

Uh, yes. He took hold of the handle, pulled the door open, peeked inside, and murmured, Guess we need to do that.

A narrow room ran the width of the building with pegs attached around the walls slightly above waist high. His waist. This must be where the children hung their coats. They stepped in, letting the door close behind them. Another open doorway led into the classroom. Rows of desks and a few tables covered the floor on either side of an aisle leading to the front.

Movement at the far side of the room drew Dillon’s eyes as a woman stood and came around the large teacher’s desk. Hello, may I help you?

Her voice was soft but clear. Dillon walked forward with Gill dropping back a step but following. Yes, I would like to see about enrolling my son in school.

Oh, then I’m glad you caught me. I don’t always come this early, but wanted to catch up on some work today. She smiled, her gaze meeting Dillon’s for a moment before lowering to his son. I’m Miss Kellen. Have we met? She looked toward Dillon again with a puzzled expression. You look familiar, but maybe I’ve seen you in town.

I’m Dillon Booker, the local attorney. It’s likely you’ve seen me at church. Don’t you play the organ there?

Yes, I do. And I apologize for not paying better attention to those who sit in the pews. She tapped her chin. Booker. Your voice reminds me of my home in Mississippi. The interesting thing is, Booker was the name of our neighbors there.

A strange feeling crept up his back. From Mansfield, in the northern part of Mississippi? You wouldn’t be related to Pastor Jeremiah Kellen of Community Church, would you?

He was my father. Her voice sounded flat, as if he’d said something wrong. She turned her attention and her smile toward Gill, seeming to lose interest in any connection between Dillon and her father. So you want to go to school, do you?

Yes, ma’am. He watched her, but stood close to his father.

She pulled out a chair from a nearby table. Please let’s sit and visit. After they settled, she asked, Can you tell me your name and how old you are?

I’m Gill, and I’m six. He didn’t even look at his father, but gave the teacher a wide smile.

That’s wonderful, Gill. Her face lit up as if he’d said something amazing. I’m glad to meet you. If you haven’t been to school before, we’ll let you start from the beginning so you can learn many new things. How does that sound?

Yes, ma’am, that would be fine.

I can tell you’ve already learned a great deal. She turned her smile toward Dillon then. "I’ll give you some paperwork to fill out, but he can stay today without it. I