Preparation for Destiny: How to Find Your Purpose and Seventeen Kingdom Principles That Are Key to Helping You Successfully Follow the Path to Your Destiny

By Thelma Grace Sithole

Do you wish your life had more meaning? Do you find yourself asking questions like: "Is this all there is to life?" "What is the reason for my existence?"

One of the basic necessities of human beings is the need to know what their purpose is. You will never find satisfaction in life until you find your purpose. When you start fulf

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Apr 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637699676

Thelma Grace Sithole

Thelma has a Bachelor's degree in Mathematics. She also has a Master's degree in Computer Programming, and is a Principle Software Engineer, as well as a mentor for junior developers. She is an ordained minister and the Co-Founder of The Tekeshe Foundation (www.tekeshe.org), a non-profit organization whose mission is to bring hope to people in Chipinge district, Zimbabwe. It offers diverse programs, spanning Education, Health, Information and Communication Technology (ICT), Economic Empowerment, Food and Clothing and Vocational Training.

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Chapter 1

How to Find Your Purpose

The Path From Purpose to Destiny

and the Destiny Blockers Along the Way

Several years ago, Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life was among New York Times’ #1 best sellers, with over thirty million copies sold by 2007. The reason why this book resonated with so many people even beyond the confines of the Christian community is because it touched the core of our being and helped put us in touch with the Why question of our being. At some point or another, we have all been at that place where life doesn’t make any sense, and we have pondered the question, "Why am I here? What is my purpose here on earth?"

Reading The Purpose Driven Life and listening to sermons about purpose provided a whole new meaning to life. The topic of Purpose resonated with many people. We began looking deeper at our lives and started realizing the special gifts and abilities that God has given to us. We started asking ourselves what we are doing with these gifts. Am I using the gifts that God gave me to the fullest? Am I using my God-given gifts to make a difference in someone else’s life? Life started to make sense upon the realization that, after all, I do not just exist; I am here for a purpose. There is a reason why God placed me here on earth. I have a purpose to fulfill, and God has equipped me with what I need in order to fulfill that purpose.

Some of us started to understand why anger rises up in us when we see injustices. I remember one time when I was in Zimbabwe during the Christmas holiday. I was talking to my mom and dad about how upset I was seeing the kids in the village going around with no clothes and shoes. I was upset because I had learned that the donations were not getting to the right people. My father said something that was very profound to me. He asked me, Who are you expecting to solve the problem? He went on to tell me that there are two kinds of people in this world. There are those who see a problem and do nothing except complain about the problem. Then there are those people who, when they see a problem, devote their time and energy to finding ways to solve the problem. My dad challenged me to either refrain from complaining or find ways to solve the problem. He admonished me to stop wasting my time and energy complaining but rather put that energy to solving the problem.

My dad reminded me that maybe that was my purpose to help the poor kids in the village. At that time, this didn’t make sense to me. Years later, I realized that the reason why I was so upset about help not getting to the needy kids in my village in Zimbabwe was because that was my purpose here on earth: to help the poor kids.

What Is the Difference Between Purpose and Destiny?

Destiny and purpose are often used interchangeably, and yet they have different meanings. The dictionary defines purpose as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Destiny is defined as your future or the preordained path of your life. Destiny is the destination where you end up, and purpose is the pathway that takes you there. Destiny and purpose are interconnected.

The best way to understand this interconnection is illustrated by someone taking a trip. Let’s say, for example, the individual’s name is Mary, and she has to travel to Zimbabwe. In order to reach the final destination, she must pass several stops on the way. Let’s say Mary must travel to Boston first, then to London. In London, she has a sixteen-hour layover. From London, she travels to Johannesburg, South Africa, where she has a four-hour layover. From there, the final destination is Harare, Zimbabwe. The final destination represents destiny—where you are supposed to end up. While on the way to Zimbabwe, there are several layovers before arriving at the final destination. The layovers represent purpose. While en route to her destination, Mary fulfills her purpose here on earth through her God-given gifts.

Another example that illustrates the difference between purpose and destiny is the process of baking a cake. When you are baking a cake, you need several ingredients: sugar, eggs, butter, flour, salt, baking powder, and milk. Each ingredient has its function or purpose. The end product analogous to destiny is the cake. Baking powder is a leavening agent. Without it, the batter would never rise. Butter adds flavor and moisture to the cake. Without it, the cake would be dry and would not have a rich taste. Eggs are a binding agent; they bind all the other ingredients together. Sugar adds sweetness; without it, the cake would lose its sweet taste. Milk adds structure, tenderness, flavor, and moisture. Without it, the cake would be dry. Salt preserves the color of flour and enhances flavor. Without it, the cake would be bland. Flour provides the basic structure, with the gluten that makes the cake bind to itself. As you can see, all the ingredients play a major role in the making of a cake. Each ingredient represents purpose. While the end product is the cake, without each ingredient playing its role, the cake would not be edible.

The Different Seasons Serve a Purpose to Prepare You for Your Destiny

Each step along the way serves a purpose in getting you to your final destiny. Without the preparation that takes place during the different seasons of your life, you won’t be ready to move into your destiny. Just as each ingredient in a cake serves a purpose, so each season in your life serves a purpose to getting you to your destiny.

We see this principle in the lives of great men like David and Joseph in the Bible. For example, David was anointed to be king so that he could replace Saul. As we will see, David didn’t go from being a shepherd boy one day to being a king the next day. He had to go through different seasons in his life, with each season serving a purpose to prepare him for his destiny.

If David hadn’t gone through a season where he spent his time as a shepherd herding his father’s sheep and learning to slay ferocious animals, such as a bear and a lion, he wouldn’t have had the courage to come up against Goliath, the giant. That season of his life served a purpose. If he hadn’t defeated Goliath, he wouldn’t have moved into the next season of his life, where he would end up in the palace. At the palace, he would meet his friend Jonathan, a divine connection who would help propel him to his destiny.

During this season at the palace, Saul became jealous of David and wanted to kill him. David fled and ended up living in the land of the Philistines. Saul continued to pursue David so he could kill him. But there was purpose even during this difficult season of David’s life. God was giving him divine training that would help him when he became king.

Notice how during this difficult season, David didn’t stop living. He continued to do what he did best. He was a warrior. Six hundred men, referred to as the three D’s (distressed, in debt, and discontented), joined him in the wilderness, and he became their leader. These must not have been the easiest men to lead. But David needed this training before he would become king. Each season was training and preparing him for his destiny—to become king of Israel. While he was at Ziklag, doing what he was supposed to be doing, the crown was brought to him. Purpose collided with destiny. David didn’t have to engineer anything. God orchestrated the events and divine connections that would push him into his destiny.

Another example is Joseph. God had an assignment for him to save the Egyptians and his own family during a seven-year famine. Let’s see what it took for him to get to his destiny. When Joseph was a young lad, he had a dream that his father, mother, and brothers would bow before him. This dream would come to fruition after very difficult seasons in Joseph’s life.

Joseph didn’t become Prime Minister of Egypt overnight. First, his brothers became jealous and wanted to kill him because he was his father’s favorite. His oldest brother ended up convincing the other brothers to sell him instead of killing him. If Joseph had not been sold by his brothers to the Ishmaelites, he wouldn’t have ended up in Egypt, where he would be sold as a slave to Potiphar.

Potiphar recognized the potential in Joseph and put him in charge of his household. Potiphar’s wife ended up falsely accusing Joseph of rape, and he was thrown in prison. If Joseph hadn’t ended up in prison, and hadn’t become the best prisoner there, and hadn’t been prompted to be in charge of the other prisoners, he would not have met the butler and the baker.

Joseph interpreted the butler and the baker’s dreams. The butler got out of prison, and one day when Pharaoh needed someone to interpret his dream, the butler recommended Joseph. If Joseph had not been in prison, he would never have met Pharaoh’s butler, another divine connection who would propel him into his destiny.

Joseph was brought out of prison to interpret Pharaoh’s dream. After interpreting the dream, he was made the Prime Minister of Egypt. He came up with a brilliant idea that would save the Egyptians and his own family from seven years of famine.

These seasons, even though they were difficult, prepared Joseph for the next level. He acquired the skills of running a household when he was in charge of Potiphar’s home. Potiphar was a captain of Pharaoh’s guard. In prison, Joseph received training on how to run a prison. That training would help him when he became Prime Minister.

Joseph didn’t stop doing the right thing just because he was in a difficult season. He bloomed wherever he was planted. If he hadn’t helped the butler and the baker by interpreting their dreams, he would have missed a divine connection. Purpose and destiny were about to collide. God was working behind the scenes, orchestrating the events and the divine connections that would propel Joseph into his destiny.

From these examples, you are starting to see how each season in life prepares each one of us for our destiny. In today’s world, we also see this principle exhibited in the lives of numerous gospel singers. They started off singing, but eventually, they ended up pastoring churches. Gospel music was their God-given gift, their purpose in that season, while pastoring churches was their final destination—their destiny. All these different seasons are preparation for the final destination.

That is why you must not get discouraged when one season ends. Realize that the season that just ended served its purpose as a catalyst for getting you to your destiny. Your age doesn’t matter; if you are still alive, God still has work for you to do. Find out what that assignment is. What you learned in each season of your life was training. The experience you gained will help in the next season of your life.

Later on in this chapter, I tell a story about a woman who started a million-dollar cookie business after she was laid off from her marketing job. The skills she acquired as a marketing director helped her in the next season of her life. She needed those skills to run her company. Another lesson from these examples is that the path to destiny is not a straight path; it is a winding, stony path. Some days the clouds will hang low, and it will be difficult to see the road, but if you keep on walking and doing the right thing, rest assured that you will arrive safely at your destination.

How to Find Your Purpose

There is no road map to finding your purpose. Don’t wait for a big bang in the sky. You will find your purpose as you do small acts of kindness to make a difference in someone else’s life. Be faithful wherever you are planted in each season of your life. As you are going about making a difference in someone else’s life, God in His sovereignty will orchestrate events and divine connections to cause your purpose to collide with your destiny.

Sometimes we look at people who are operating in their purposes, and we think it happened overnight. What we don’t realize is that for those people to be where they are now, it was a process. They didn’t just land there overnight. They were faithful to do their best at whatever station they found themselves.

A couple of years ago, I received an invitation from UMass Lowell to attend an Oprah Winfrey event at the Tsongas auditorium. One thing that I found very inspiring was when Oprah mentioned that before she became a celebrity, she started off with something as simple as taking poor kids from the projects to the library and getting them library cards so that they could take out books. Fast forward, years later, in 2000, during Christmas time, she took fifty forty-foot containers and some of her staff to South Africa to give away toys to poor kids. While she was in South Africa, she stayed at Mandela’s house. The idea of starting a school in South Africa was birthed during this time when she was having a conversation with Mandela about how she preferred to donate her funds. This story substantiates this principle that as you are going about living with purpose, being faithful, making a difference for someone else, God will orchestrate events and divine connections to steer you to your destiny.

God Has an Assignment for Everyone—Find out What Your Assignment Is

God has an assignment for everyone. Before you were born, God had something He wanted to be accomplished here on earth. He chose you to carry out that assignment. We see this principle in the life of Jeremiah. In Jeremiah 1:5, God tells Jeremiah that before He formed him in his mother’s womb, He knew him. Before Jeremiah was even born, God set him apart and appointed him as a prophet to the nations. That is why we shouldn’t spend our time competing with each other and trying to do something just because we are copying someone. God has something unique for everyone to do. Find out what He wants you to do. What is it that you do well and you are passionate about?

Identify Your God-Given Gifts and Talents. Your Purpose Is Tied to Your God-Given Gifts

Your God-given gifts and talents are tied to your purpose. God has given everyone a talent, an ability. What are you gifted at? The gifts and talents that God has given you are to be used to fulfill your purpose here on earth. That is why it is very important for you to know what you are good at. God has equipped you with everything you need to fulfill your destiny.

You have something that you do better than everyone else, something that makes you unique. It comes naturally to you, while others struggle to do that very same thing. Why is it that some people can sing so well, they have no problem hitting those high notes? Why can some people run faster than everyone else, and it doesn’t seem to require any effort on their part? Some people are good orators; they have a way of engaging people to listen when they speak. Others are good salespeople; they can convince you to buy something you don’t even need. Other people are very good at baking. Some of them can make the most delicious cookies without even measuring the ingredients.

Finding your purpose is tied to answering some very basic questions:

What are your God-given gifts and talents?

What do you do well?

What are you passionate about?

What are the injustices that make you angry or weep or keep you awake at night?

What problem can you solve in your community?

What pain have you gone through? God doesn’t waste any pain. He causes all things, good and bad, to work together for good. Your pain is tied to your purpose.

A Story About a Woman Who Has the Gift to Bake Cookies

I heard a story about a fifty-seven-year-old woman who started a multimillion-dollar cookie business after she lost her job. At her previous job, she had worked in marketing. While trying to figure out her purpose, as she began looking within herself to see what she did well, she had an epiphany. She realized that she was really good at baking butter cookies. Ever since she was a little girl, she had been baking cookies and giving them as gifts to family and friends. Friends and colleagues always complimented her about her delicious cookies. Baking cookies was her God-given gift.

She launched a very successful cookie company called Barbara’s Cookie Pie. She has all kinds of products ranging from cookie pies to cookie gifts. She is operating in her God-given gift. The years that she worked in marketing at her previous job were preparing her with the skills to launch her own company. Can you see how she would never have moved into her destiny if her job at her previous company had not ended? Though it must have been painful to lose a job of thirty years, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. She now owns a multimillion-dollar cookie business.

Joseph Was Equipped with the Ability to Interpret Dreams

Proverbs 18:16 tells us that a man’s gift will make room for him and bring him before kings. The gifts that God gave you will unlock doors of opportunity for you. We see this principle in the life of Joseph. God had a big assignment for him. He was going to be the second man in rank to Pharaoh and come up with a strategy to deliver the Egyptians and his own family during a seven-year famine. In order for Joseph to get to his destiny, God equipped him with the ability to interpret dreams. Joseph was going to use this gift to interpret Pharaoh’s dream.

Genesis tells the story of how Joseph was unjustly thrown into prison. While in prison, he came in contact with Pharaoh’s butler and baker, who had been thrown in jail because they had offended the king. Both of them were saddened by the dreams they had had. Joseph used his God-given gift to interpret the dreams of Pharaoh’s butler and baker. Joseph told the butler that in three days, his position would be reinstated as Pharaoh’s cupbearer. Joseph asked the butler to remember him and to mention his name to Pharaoh, as he had been unjustly put in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He also interpreted the baker’s dream and told him that in three days, he would lose his life and that Pharaoh would have him hung and the birds would eat his flesh. Both dreams came to pass according to Joseph’s interpretations.

The butler got out of prison, and he completely forgot about Joseph. It wasn’t until two years later that Pharaoh had a dream that troubled him, and no one in Egypt could interpret it. It was then the butler remembered how Joseph had interpreted his dream when he was in prison. The butler told Pharaoh about Joseph. Joseph was called before Pharaoh and used his God-given talent to interpret the dream. After interpreting the dream, Joseph was promoted to being the second man in rank to Pharaoh. God had equipped Joseph with what he needed to fulfill the assignment he had for him. The God-given ability to interpret dreams is what pushed Joseph into his destiny.

Use the Painful Experiences You Have Gone Through to Bring Hope to Someone Else

Purpose can be birthed as a result of the pain we go through. In this journey of life and its difficulties, we will all have our share of pain. The pain we go through is not wasted if we use the experience that we gained from the suffering to help someone else who is going through the same pain. This is why Romans 8:28 (NASB) says, God causes all things to work together for good for them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. When someone is going through a difficult season, the person who can minister to them effectively with the most compassion is someone who has already been through the same situation. Hearing the words I know what you are going through because I have been there can bring healing. Knowing that someone else has experienced the same difficulty and survived it brings encouragement.

I remember several years ago watching Dr. Oral Roberts and his wife, Evelyn, being interviewed on one of the religious networks. They were asked to share with the audience the most difficult thing that they had encountered in their lives. They both said, The death of our oldest daughter and her husband in a plane crash and the death of our son. Evelyn Roberts recounted how through her pain, she came to encourage so many mothers who had lost their own children. She explained how when she would tell a mother who had just lost her child that she understood the pain of losing a child, those words brought so much comfort and healing to those grieving mothers. Her pain was not wasted; she used her deepest heartache to bring hope to other grieving mothers. What an example of a life well-lived with purpose and pleasing to God. Instead of becoming bitter, she used her pain to heal others; her pain became her purpose.

One day I was talking to my friend Meredith. She shared how she had suffered physical and verbal abuse in her first marriage. It was a very difficult time in her life, and yet despite everything she went through, that pain has not been wasted. God is using her in a mighty way to minister to battered women. The vast majority of these women have lost their self-esteem due to abuse by their spouses. Meredith not only ministers to their spiritual needs but also donates makeup to the women. She was telling me that when she gives her testimony, it really ministers to these battered women. Meredith is a beautiful person inside and outside; you would never know that she went through such a dark time. When you are around her, you feel the presence of God. The battered women in the shelter where she volunteers draw strength from her testimony; it gives them hope that if she survived such a difficult time, they would make it too.

Another example of purpose being birthed from pain is the Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) organization. This organization was founded by a mother whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver. The mission of MADD is to end drunk driving, help fight drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes, and prevent underage drinking. Out of this mother’s pain, purpose was birthed.

Identify an Invention That Solves a Human Need. Purpose Can Be Birthed out of Necessity

We have all heard the famous saying, Necessity is the mother of invention. When there is an imperative need for something, you are forced to find ways of achieving it. This leads us to the realization that purpose can be birthed out of necessity. People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs—and many others who have led the way in innovation—saw a need, and that birthed purpose. Early inventors such as Thomas Edison were also driven by necessity which in turn birthed purpose.

Edison was one of the greatest inventors who ever lived. He is credited with several inventions, including the electric lightbulb. The following are some of the famous quotations by Edison: I find out what the world needs. Then I go ahead and try to invent it (Thomas Edison). Anything that won’t sell, I don’t want to invent. Its sale is proof of utility, and utility is success (Thomas Edison).

Identify a Problem or an Injustice That Keeps You Awake in Your Community

One of my favorite Bible stories is about Nehemiah. Nehemiah was among the Jews who were taken hostage when Jerusalem was overthrown. He served as a cupbearer for King Artaxerxes. One day when he was in the Persian city called Susa, Nehemiah’s brother and some Jewish men had come from Jerusalem. Nehemiah asked them about the condition in Jerusalem. He was heartbroken as he learned that the walls had been broken down and the Jews were living in reproach. Nehemiah wept and fasted for several days.

Notice how the news impacted Nehemiah: He wept and fasted for days and prayed a prayer of repentance for his people. Obviously, many other Jews must have been aware of the condition that existed in Jerusalem, but it didn’t affect them the same way it affected Nehemiah. It didn’t end with just feeling sad; Nehemiah was going to do something to change the situation.

This was definitely God’s assignment for Nehemiah. Even though Nehemiah was serving as a cupbearer, his destiny was to rebuild the walls. Notice how God had strategically positioned him as a cupbearer for King Artaxerxes. He was going to need help from the king—he would need timber and letters of recommendation for safe passage.

As we can see from this story, purpose was birthed from the need to solve a problem. What is it that keeps you awake at night? Injustices, sufferings, wrongs? Could it be that the reason this raises all kinds of emotions is because it is your assignment? I am sure other people heard about the condition of the Jews in Jerusalem; I am sure they felt bad—but look at how Nehemiah responded when he heard the news. It triggered a reaction that compelled him to do something about the situation. He had to go back and rebuild the walls.

A Mentor or Coach Can Help You Find Your Purpose

As we go through the journey of life, sometimes we might not even realize our God-given talents. A good mentor or coach can easily realize the talents of his or her protégé and steer us in the right direction. If you notice, at the educational institutions and at most of these tech companies, this principle of mentorship is a big thing.

My Personal Story of How I Found Purpose

My own personal experience substantiates this principle that purpose can be discovered through the help of mentors. When I was growing up in Zimbabwe, I wanted to be an English teacher. I remember when I was attending Chikore High School, our English teacher, Mr. John Rugayo, decided to launch a debating club. He wanted girls as well, not just boys, to participate in the club. He selected the students who had done well in English. I was completely surprised to hear my name mentioned during one of the weekly morning devotions as the names of the students who would participate in the club were announced. This really boosted my confidence. I had never viewed myself as someone who could actually stand up before hundreds of people and participate in a debate. You are beginning to see how this English teacher saw the potential that was in me that I didn’t even realize was there.

I thank my parents because prior to this, they bought my sisters and me all kinds of books to read. My father, an educator himself, encouraged us to read. This helped develop my writing and reading skills at an early age and prepared me to enter the debating club. English was my second language, but at a young age, I spoke English very well. My nickname was the English Girl. At social events that were held in the village, the students used to showcase their skills ranging from music, drama, and comedy to reciting stories. I always enjoyed reciting the short stories I had read from the books my parents gave us. My recitations were never dull! They were very animated. I remember a short story I used to recite about a young girl who was growing up. There was a part in the story that said, Now I am a big girl. I put on my hat, and I carry my bag; now I am on my way to town… One time I actually borrowed a hat and a handbag from my cousin, and as I did the recitation, I put on the hat and carried the handbag and did a funny walk with my hands on my hip. The audience really enjoyed the recitation.

Fast forward to years later, I had left Zimbabwe to come to school in America. I was now attending Lake Erie College in Ohio. I was majoring in English. My mentor, Dr. Thomas James, encouraged me to have English as my minor and to major in Math as this would strategically position me to venture into computer science later on. I didn’t even know anything about computers at that time, but Dr. James strongly felt that this was a good field to major in. After graduating from Lake Erie College, I went on to UMass Lowell, where I pursued a master’s degree in Computer Programming. As to the writing of this book, I have been in the technology space for years. The Lord has blessed me to work for companies like Wang Labs, JP Morgan Chase as a software engineer. At the writing of this book, I am working at Fidelity Investments. You can begin to see how my mentors helped steer me in the right direction. The skills I acquired even at an early age in high school, participating in the debating club, prepared me for public speaking. My current job requires excellent communication skills.

I had found my professional footing but still yearned for my overall purpose in life. For that reason, I want to pause for a second and honor my spiritual parents, Bishop Stanley Choate and his wife, Pastor Ruth, and thank them for helping me find my purpose. They are the presiding pastors at the church I have attended for years, called New England Pentecostal Ministries (NEP). By 2007, I had attended NEP for several years. I worked and enhanced my skills as I was trying to figure out what my purpose was.

While in service one Sunday morning, my niece sitting by my side, I was in deep thought. I felt discouraged, and I was asking myself the question, Why am I here? My life was dull and had no meaning. As these thoughts were racing in my mind, all of a sudden, I heard Bishop Choate calling my name. At first, I wasn’t really sure I heard him correctly. I looked at Sifikile, my niece, to have her confirm that I had heard correctly. Sifikile whispered to me, Auntie, Bishop is calling you. I got up from my seat, feeling very uncomfortable as all eyes in the church seemed fixed on me. I proceeded slowly to the front where Bishop Choate was standing. Then Bishop started telling me that he had a word of encouragement for me from the Lord. He said, Thelma, God has a big job for you to do. He is going to use you to assist and minister to the people in Zimbabwe… When Bishop was done giving me this word of prophecy, he prayed for the Lord to strengthen me.

That day I was never the same. Everything seemed surreal. It was the dawning of a new day! I left church that day feeling encouraged and invigorated. I remember Sifikile sharing the excitement with me. I had no doubt that Bishop Choate had received a word from God about my assignment. How could he have known how I was feeling at the time? I had not shared my feelings with anyone. Even my niece, who was staying with me, didn’t know that I felt no sense of purpose. From that day onwards, my life took a new turn. The pieces of the puzzle started coming together. I remembered the conversation I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter where my father had challenged me to either do something to help the poor kids in Zimbabwe or stop complaining about it. Everything started to make sense. I didn’t waste any time. I began by writing my vision down and then sharing it with my friends. Things didn’t happen overnight, but with the Lord’s help and the support of NEP church members, friends, and family, the Tekeshe Foundation (www.tekeshe.org) was launched.

Once I found my purpose here on earth, my life completely changed. I was never the same person. I remember going to lunch one day with a friend I met at JPMorgan Chase who became one of our biggest donors. She said to me, Thelma, when did you go off on the deep end like this? When I first met you, you were not like this. All you are consumed with now is helping the people in your village. I explained to my friend that fulfilling my purpose is all that matters to me. It has become an obsession, and it has added meaning to my life. I feel energized and fulfilled.

Ten Destiny Blockers That Can Stop You from Reaching Your Destiny

Sadly, even after finding purpose, many people still do not fulfill their God-given purposes. Let us look at some of the destiny blockers that can stop us from pursuing destiny.

1. Negative Words from Naysayers

You can’t, You won’t succeed, You are not good enough, You are not smart enough, You are stupid, Forget it, you are too old, You are too young—these are some of the negative words that can be destiny blockers. If you are an impossibility thinker or you hang around impossibility thinkers, this is a barrier that will hinder you from reaching your destiny.

We have many examples of people who had negative words spoken to them, but they didn’t allow the negative words to stop them from reaching their destiny. Edison is one example: His teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything, and he was fired from his first two jobs due to lack of productivity. Though he failed one thousand times when working on the lightbulb invention, he kept on trying until he got it working. At age twenty-two, Walt Disney was told that he lacked creativity, and he was fired from a Missouri newspaper. These negative words didn’t deter Disney. He went on to fulfill his dream and build Walt Disney World, a very popular holiday resort around the world and visited by over fifty-eight million people annually.

I want to pause for a minute and offer words of encouragement. If you are entering a new season of your life due to retirement, don’t view this as the end, but rather view it as a new season upon which you are embarking on. All the experience you have acquired through the years you can now impart to the younger generation. You now have a bigger role to play in society; you are the voice of experience. You shouldn’t accept the label that you are too old and just pitch your tent here. You have acquired valuable information that can help someone else. Find some way to impact people with all this knowledge you have acquired through the years. Find ways you can use this knowledge. As long as you are alive, you must use your gifts and abilities.

Haters Used Negative Words to Try and Stop Nehemiah from Rebuilding the Walls

In Nehemiah 4:1–20, when Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, he faced destiny killers who wanted to sabotage the project. When Sanballat heard that Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall, he became very angry and started ridiculing him. Tobiah joined forces with Sanballat and ridiculed Nehemiah, saying if a fox climbed up on the wall he was building, it would break it down. Nehemiah did not allow the negative words to distract him. He continued to rebuild the wall. He fulfilled his purpose. In fifty-two days, the wall was completely rebuilt.

Ten Spies Brought a Negative Report

When the Israelites were about to enter the Promised Land, Moses sent twelve spies to look at the land. Ten spies came back with a negative report. They told Moses and the congregation that the land was flowing with milk, but there were giants in the land, and Israelites were like grasshoppers in their sight. After listening to this negative report, the people were discouraged. They cried that night, and they started discussing getting a captain and going back to Egypt. Caleb and Joshua calmed the people and said, We are well able to go in at once and possess the land. The Lord was pleased with Joshua and Caleb; they were the only ones from their generation that entered the Promised Land.

Negative Words About Being Old

Have you noticed that when you get to be over sixty-five years old, society labels you as old? Many people over sixty-five are no longer willing to learn because they believe that they are too old. They have stopped reinventing themselves because they have allowed the label that they are too old to take root in their mind. Did you know that Colonel Sanders, the man who founded Kentucky Fried Chicken, didn’t found his company until he was sixty-five years old?

David Was Overlooked by His Father Because He was the Youngest

When God chooses someone for an assignment, He doesn’t choose the same way people choose. God looks at the heart. According to outward appearance, David didn’t look like someone who would be selected by God for a big assignment. There was something about David’s heart that made him a vessel of choice to be used for a big assignment. David was a man after God’s heart.

2. Playing It Safe

Playing it safe is one of the biggest destiny killers. We would rather stay in place rather than step out into the unknown. When you play it safe, you know that you are operating beneath your capability. There is no opportunity for advancement, and yet we would rather stay where we are because it’s a familiar place, we have friends there, and it feels comfortable. We use the phrase, The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. We see an example of this principle with a mother eagle and her eaglets. The eagles’ nest is very comfortable; if they had a choice, the little eaglets would stay there forever. The nest is comfortable; the mother eagle brings them their food and makes sure they are safe. But the mother eagle, with all her wisdom, knows that at some point, the little eaglets need to get out of that nest and learn to fly. They were meant to soar as eagles, not to stay in the nest forever. The mother eagle will start making the nest uncomfortable—she starts removing the leaves and grass from the nest. Occasional, she takes the eaglets one by one, throws each eaglet up into the air. Then before it falls, she catches it with her big wings and places it back in the nest. To the little eaglets, it must feel strange. The little eaglets must be wondering, What is mommy doing? As the mother eagle continues this process of throwing the little eaglets up in the air and catching them day after day, eventually, they will open up their wings and learn how to fly. If they had stayed in that nest, they would not have reached their destiny. I hope this illustration gives you confidence to get out of your comfort zone and pursue your dream. Make all the necessary preparations you need to maximize your potential—maybe by taking courses. Then don’t be afraid to step out by faith. It will be scary at first but trust the Lord to help you.

3. Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is another major destiny killer. We usually ponder: What if I fail? What are people going to say? People are going to laugh at me. These are some of the questions and thoughts that bombard our minds.

One day I received an email from Global Giving, a platform for nonprofit organizations to fundraise. They were giving a $1,000 award for the best Fail Forward story. This is the first time I heard the term failing forward. At first, I was a bit confused. Why would any donor want to hear that you failed using their funds? I wasn’t alone; several project leaders from other organizations were very apprehensive about participating in the competition due to the same fear. To participate in the Fail Forward story competition, each nonprofit would post its story on its site hosted on the Global Giving portal. Before I recused our organization from participating, I decided to search the internet to find out what the phrase failing forward means. I was surprised to learn that the principle behind failing forward was that it is okay to fail; just use the lessons learned from the failures to move forward.

Throughout history, we have examples of people who have practiced principles of failing forward and went on to be successful in their endeavors. One such example is Edison.

Thomas Edison Failed Forwards

History records that Edison failed one thousand times when working on the lightbulb invention. When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail one thousand times, his answer was, I have not failed. I’ve just found one thousand ways that won’t work. What gave him such tenacity?

Thomas Edison was not a quitter, and he wasn’t afraid to fail. He saw failure as an opportunity to learn more about his invention. Within him was hard-wired the will to invent. His teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything, and he was fired from his first two jobs due to lack of productivity. But God gave him a gift and talent to invent. No one could take that gift away from him, not even with discouraging words. He had realized humanity’s need for a light bulb; he worked tirelessly to find a solution.

4. Purpose Killers

When God has given you a dream or a purpose, purpose killers will try to kill your purpose. In the Bible, we read about Mary, the mother of Jesus. When she was pregnant, it must have been difficult. How many people do you think believed the story that the Holy Spirit overshadowed her and she conceived? I am sure there was a lot of talking behind her back. Joseph was even planning to breakup with Mary quietly, not wanting to cause her public humiliation. An angel was sent to tell Joseph not to breakup with Mary and that what was conceived in her was from the Holy Spirit. We read in Luke about Mary going to stay with Elizabeth for three months. Elizabeth’s home was a conducive environment for incubating the dream she was carrying. When Herod ordered that every male child be killed, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt to protect Jesus. You must protect your purpose. Don’t hang around people who want to kill your dream. In addition, don’t stay in environments where your dream is not incubated. Find people who want to see your dream come to fruition. Also, find environments that further your purpose.

5. Self-Deprecating Words, Low Self Esteem, and Insecurity

Self-deprecating words are another destiny killer. I can’t do this, I am not good enough, I am too old, I am not attractive enough, I am a woman, I am a minority. These are some of the words that stop people from pursuing their purpose.

Example of Self-Deprecating Words:

I Am Not Good Enough

When Kevin Costner was eulogizing Whitney Houston, he recounted how he had given her a lead part in the movie I Will Always Love You. Whitney had an inferiority complex; she didn’t think she could play the part because she didn’t think she was good enough. Kevin Costner recounted how he told her, You are good enough. Whitney went on to play the role, and she was successful.

Example of Self-Deprecating Words:

I Can’t Speak

Moses was no dummy. He was a highly educated man. Being raised as Pharaoh’s sister’s son afforded him the privilege to attend the best schools in Egypt. History has it that the Egyptians produced the hieroglyphics. Their educational system was very advanced for its time. Yet even his education was not enough to help him accomplish the big assignment that the Lord had for him to do.

Moses was raised in the palace—he knew about the protocol and the ways of the Egyptians. He knew how difficult this assignment was going to be. How would he convince Pharaoh that God sent him? Which God? The Egyptians worshipped a lot of gods; the Nile was considered a god, even Pharaoh was worshipped as a god. This was a big assignment that required divine assistance. Moses felt inadequate to take on such a big assignment. He told God that he couldn’t speak.

This is no different from any other assignment that God gives to anyone. He knows that it is impossible to accomplish the assignment alone. God will give you divine connections. God told Moses that his brother, Aaron, would help. Moses took his wife and sons and left Midian to back to Egypt to carry out the assignment that God had given him. Unbeknown to Moses, God also told Aaron to go into the wilderness and meet Moses. From that day onward, Aaron was there by Moses’s side. When Moses had to go and stand before Pharaoh, Aaron went with him and was his spokesman. When the Israelites finally left Egypt to go to their Promised Land, Aaron was there to assist Moses. Moses could not have successfully fulfilled his purpose without the help of Aaron.

Example of Self-Deprecating Words:

I Am the Least of My Family

God called Gideon a mighty man of valor and told him he was going to deliver the Israelites from their enemies, the Philistines. Gideon asked how he was going to deliver Israel, as his family was poor and he was the least among his family. The environment that Gideon lived in had stripped him of his confidence. He didn’t see himself as capable of carrying out such a big assignment. He needed a sign as confirmation that the Lord was really sending him on this big assignment. Hang around environments and people that further your purpose. What Gideon didn’t realize was that God never meant for him to accomplish such a big assignment in his own strength. God was going to send him divine assistance, invisible presence.

These men were ordinary people like you and me, but God had big assignments for them. They felt inadequate to fulfill their purpose. Yet, God never intended for them to accomplish their purposes alone and in their own strength. God was going to help them—he would send divine connections, divine assistance. Are you feeling the same way these men felt? You don’t have the resources to accomplish the vision that God has given you. Don’t be discouraged—God will send you divine connections.

6. Shame and Guilt About Past Mistakes

Feeling shame and guilt about your past mistakes can be another destiny killer that can become a barrier blocking you from fulfilling your purpose. It is the devil’s strategy for stopping people from reaching their destiny. The feeling that God can no longer use you because of your past mistakes is a lie from the devil. Yes, you might have made mistakes; so have many people. You have to accept forgiveness from Christ and also forgive yourself. The Bible has examples of people who made mistakes, but God still used them. David had an affair with a married woman and had her husband killed. David repented, and God forgave him. Moses killed a man, and yet God still used him in a mighty way. God refers to Moses as His friend. Paul persecuted Christians, but God still used him. He wrote most of the New Testament.

7. Distractions

Distractions are another tool that the devil uses to stop people from reaching their destiny. One of the biggest distractions in today’s world is the social media. If you are not careful, you can spend hours and hours on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, and others chatting with people or listening to live streaming. Maybe you spend your time watching movies on Netflix or watching the news or your favorite shows on television. There is nothing wrong with doing this; however, there should be a balance. You need to manage your time well.

Another example of how the devil will use distractions to stop you from reaching your destiny is in the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was fulfilling his God-given assignment of rebuilding