The Bipolar Effect

By Bruce Simmons and BR Edmunds

This is the story about my fight with Bipolar Disorder, I was diagnosed in my late 30's. This book visits my life before and after my diagnosis, the ups and downs of my jobs and relationships. It will visit my separation with my wife and the struggle with my kids.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kouski Publishing Canada
• Release date: Mar 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201824488

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

MY NAME IS BRUCE SIMMONS and this is a rough story about my trip with Bipolar Disorder. My life, ups, downs and my diagnosis. As many people with depression and Bipolar know, the disease and the medication both affect memory, so this is by timeline that I remember and maybe a little bit of filler just to keep the story going.

I thought that this story would be quick and easy to write but was I ever wrong. It is not easy writing about yourself, and not in a way that makes you look bad. I do find that I look bad in this book because I felt weak for a long time when not being able to overcome this disease. For a long time, I thought that I was weak but now I know that I am strong for still being here and still fighting on.

I dedicate this book to all those who have lost the battle and to the family members who have survived them.

I also dedicate this book to my wife who has been there for me through so much and to my good friend Sunshine who pulled me up when I fell last.

My name is Bruce, and this is my fight.

1

I don’t want to cry anymore

I don’t want to lie anymore

I don’t want to cry anymore

I go to bed dying

Wake up in the morning, dead

Please don’t let me die anymore

Please don’t let me cry anymore

-Bruce Robichaud

Nightmares and lost dreams

DIAGNOSIS

I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY disorder when I ended up in the hospital after I had a huge panic attack at work, in 2012 I believe. I sat down on a stool and did not feel well at all. I was working as a service manager in a busy shop. This day was very busy and very stressful though I don’t remember any particulars of the day.

I sat down on a stool at the back counter and did not feel well at all. My chest was feeling really tight, my body felt numb, and my head felt light. I could feel my heart just beating like it was going to come out of my chest. I was scared because I had never felt like this before, I didn’t know what was happening. After the fact some people kept telling me that I must have thought that I was having a heart attack, but I wasn’t thinking anything really, just that I didn’t want to die at this place.

I grabbed the phone next to me and called my manager. I told her