Who Is Gigi?

By Bailie Lawson

Gigi meets a handsome man at a party, a man from her past, a past she thought she had left behind. Her first instinct is to disappear - until she realizes he doesn't recognize her. He is obviously attracted to her, which would have been a dream come true in her past life. But now It would be dangerous if her secret is discovered. Against her better judgment she starts to see him. After all, she is a different person now. She has transformed herself physically into a pretty blonde, and has shed her excess weight, has even changed her name.
How long can Gigi keep her past life a secret? What will happen when Jason discovers her true identity?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bailie Lawson
• Release date: Feb 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005402860

Bailie Lawson

Bailie Lawson has always been interested in stories, both listening to them and telling them. She was born and went to school in Ireland and as an adult has lived in New York and the North-Eastern United States. She has worked as a psychotherapist and professor of psychology. She is the author of several novels including Well-Travelled Ancient Ancient Artifacts, Finding Juniper, Fanfare, The Imaginary Husband, Pixie Dust: Enchantment and It’s Consequences, Uncovering Julien's Past, Una's Journey, and Who Is Gigi?

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Gigi saw him as soon as she walked into the party. She stood still in shock, frozen, and then thought of running out of there, getting away as fast as possible.

It was too late. Boyd was already propelling her forward as he called cheerfully to a petite pretty woman who was unmistakably his sister – same smile, same eyes.

Hey Jude, he sang out loudly, an old joke obviously, as she groaned and hugged him.

Meet my friend Gigi.

Gigi managed to greet Jude politely.

With her back turned to him, to Jason Freeborn, she could even pretend she had imagined him, hope that she had imagined him, that it was just some man who looked like him.

Jude was introducing her husband, Larry. Then, unbelievably, there was Jason, at Larry’s elbow, looking with interest at Gigi.

Gigi now knew what it meant to have your life flash before you in a second. She indeed felt that this could be the end of it. Jason was staring at her. Any moment now her new life would come crashing down around her.

Larry was saying This is Jason, my old college buddy.

He was addressing Boyd and his boyfriend George as well as Gigi, and they were both warmly greeting Jason as Larry continued, Jason just moved to New York recently and we ran into him at our local deli. We were amazed to find he lives only a few blocks away. So now we have one friend in our new neighborhood.

Jason greeted all of them, but was still looking at Gigi, smiling and saying something that she didn’t quite hear, because her brain was trying to process, trying to understand what was happening, trying to decide how to make her escape.

Could she walk out of here, let herself be swallowed up in the Brooklyn streets, become invisible as she had done before? Only now it was different. Now she had friends, a life she enjoyed, a nice apartment. And this was her first time in Brooklyn. She had come on the subway from Manhattan with Boyd and George. She didn’t even know how to get back to the subway on her own.

So, she stood there in the little group, waiting for her life as Gigi to end. The room had become noisier with conversation from other groups of people close by. Boyd and George were talkative. She stood silently, forcing herself to smile. She wasn’t following the conversation, but looking at Jason, waiting. Her mind had stopped functioning.

He was responding to something Larry had said, smiling and laughing as he kept looking in Gigi's direction. Gradually she became aware that he was looking at her with interest, with admiration, even, but not with recognition!

Is it possible he didn’t recognize her? He had that look she had seen on men on the street, an appreciative look, the look she had seen in the past directed at pretty women but not at her.

Jason never looked at her like that in the past, in her old life, in her old body. No-one had, until very recently really looked closely at her. She was still getting used to it. She no longer faded into the background, ignored, like a fly on the wall. She looked very different now, but was it different enough that he really didn’t recognize her?

He was saying, I take it you don’t live in the area.

His question was clearly directed at Gigi, but Boyd chimed in with, No, we all live in lower Manhattan. Brooklyn is like another country for us, but we couldn’t miss the housewarming party.

Gigi found her voice and added It’s pretty here though, and this space is amazing.

As Boyd moved away Jason and Gigi were left alone to continue the conversation.

Have you lived in New York long? asked Jason, adding, I’ve been here only a couple of months myself.

Gigi answered, A little longer than that. Why did you move here? Was it for work?

She was playing for time, asking him about himself, still getting over the shock of meeting someone from her past, a past she was terrified would catch up to her. And it was not just anyone from her past, but Jason. But unbelievably he didn’t seem to recognize her.

It is true she had done her best to transform her appearance in the months since she had moved to New York so that she would not be recognized. She now used a different name and told no-one the truth about her past. Still, she felt astounded that someone she had worked with every day for two years did not recognize her.

Had she really succeeded in changing her physical appearance so completely? She had worked hard to do just that, but this was the first time she was tested.

And her voice? Too late she realized he could have recognized her voice. She hadn’t said much, and it was noisy in the room. She would need to be careful. She shouldn’t push her luck.

It was important not to draw attention to herself. She couldn’t just walk away or seem unfriendly. It would be safer to be casually friendly, to be part of a group where she could be silent, where attention would not be focused on her

Boyd was mercifully gregarious and rescued her without knowing he was doing so. She allowed herself to be led away by him to meet other friends of his sister’s. She greeted the new people – Marcia and Paul - with smiles and nice to meet you, while she tried to process the fact that Jason was here and that he appeared not to know who she was.

While Boyd talked lengthily, she thought about what she would say about herself if she was forced into further conversation with Jason. As little as possible seemed wisest.

She needed time to think. She wouldn’t tell him the truth of course if he really didn’t remember her. She wanted to make sure he didn’t though.

And if he did? Then that would be dangerous for her.

****

After the first few weeks of terror that a random person on the street would run over calling Gertrude, she had started to relax, because as time went on, she looked less and less like Gertrude and was now Gigi to everyone she met. For months now, she had felt she had become Gigi and had stopped expecting to meet someone from her old life.

She had told Boyd and George when she met them first that she was from a small town outside Rochester. She had been frantic at the time to break all links with her past and didn’t want to be associated with Robinsville. So, that would be the story she would tell Jason - that she was from Dansville, just outside Rochester. She had seen it on the map, and of course had never been there.

****

Jason was responding to her questions, telling her that he’d been looking for a change for a while, had applied for jobs all over the Northeast, but was happy to move to New York, that this new job offered him a chance to do more of the kind of work he really enjoyed. He then proceeded to talk about graphic design.

He really doesn’t remember me. He doesn’t see Gertrude, he sees Gigi. He is telling me about his old job as if I hadn’t been there at that job too every day.

As Jason talked, she began to realize that she should mention that she also did graphic design. Surely someone – Boyd or George – would mention it at some point. Then it would seem strange that she had said nothing.

George had helped get her freelance work with Roberto LaValle the clothes designer. Gigi had taken it, though she didn’t need the money. She didn’t want them wondering where her money came from. She also took it because she was interested in design and was hoping the freelance graphic design work would lead to a chance to actually design clothing.

Now she decided to emphasize the clothes designing aspect, something she hadn’t done while at Howard’s Design in Robinsville.

Actually, I work doing some graphics for a clothes designer she volunteered.

Jason then enthusiastically talked about various computer software programs commonly used in their field, comparing the merits and shortcomings, and then asked Gigi where she had studied. Of course, she wasn’t going to say that she had taken night classes at Robinsville Tech while she worked days as an administrative assistant at Howard’s Design and Advertising, until they finally gave her a junior position helping the senior designers, including himself.

She remembered reading somewhere that if you lie it was better to stick to the truth as much as possible, so she said, I took evening classes in graphic design at a college in Rochester, and then learned on the job at a small company there.

That led naturally to the next lie - that she had grown up in a small town near Rochester.

Jason said enthusiastically, We have a lot in common. I grew up in a smallish town in upstate New York also, Spensor. You probably haven't heard of it. It is a few miles from Robinsville.

Gigi carefully controlled her facial expression, but she didn’t have to respond as Jason was continuing, I lived there all my life, except for the time I spent away at college, until two months ago when I came to New York.

How do you like it here so far?

I love it, especially now that I have found an apartment. The rents though! He laughed ruefully.

This made it easy to explain why she moved to New York. Many people were drawn to the glamour and excitement of life in New York.

She simply said I always wanted to live in New York. So far, I’m really enjoying it. I like working in clothing design.

All of that was true.

They spent a good deal of time talking, and Gigi started to feel oddly calm, as if they really were two strangers who had just met and were discovering they had a lot in common. She was onstage playing the part of Gigi, the attractive young designer. She could almost forget that she was Gertrude.

Eventually Boyd and his sister sought her out to take her on a tour of the new house. She liked Jude, whose sense of humor was like Boyd’s, and who had a similar outgoing and welcoming personality.

She truly loved the house too. It was a converted Brooklyn Brownstone, with a back garden, which could not be seen properly at night.

Jude made it clear that she would welcome Gigi on future visits, and that in the summer they would have parties outdoors in the little back garden, which they planned on creating into a spectacular outdoor space.

We need our friends from Manhattan to visit, Jude said enthusiastically.

Gigi was pleased to be described as a friend from Manhattan. My new life, my new self.

Before they left Jason sought her out and asked if she would like to go out to dinner some time. With Jude standing a short distance away beaming, she felt she had no choice. She had to give him her phone number.

****

That night Gigi had trouble sleeping.

She had been so scared for so long. Then she had gradually become hopeful that she could really start over, create a completely new life for herself, cut all the ties with the old painful, miserable life.

Now she was again scared that she had made a silly mistake, an error in judgment, in giving Jason her phone number. She should definitely not see him - if he called, that is. He might not call.

On the other hand, he could find out about her anyway from Jude and Larry, from Boyd and George, even if they never met again. He could get her phone number, her address, if he really wanted to.

Maybe no harm would come from seeing him, if she kept it very casual and of course was very careful about what she said. If he didn’t realize that she was quiet, unattractive, overweight Gertrude from Robinsville then he would have no reason to be suspicious.

What are you doing? This is crazy!

Recently she had relaxed more, believing her past would not catch up with her. She had started to become complacent in her new life.

Then for those first few moments tonight the shock of seeing Jason had flooded her with terror again, sucked her back to the life-altering events of last January, and the panic that had lasted for weeks, gradually dying down as she began to hope she had escaped intact, and that she was not going to be tracked down.

It had been such a rollercoaster ride emotionally tonight. The panic had been intense, but the relief had been equally intense when she realized he truly hadn’t recognized her. Then the exhilaration she felt when she realized she may really have been successful in creating a new identity, a new life.

She knew that some of the exhilaration was due to the obvious interest and admiration she saw in Jason’s eyes, the fact that she was now seen as a pretty woman, Gigi from Manhattan who had friends, who went out on dates. She desperately wanted to be that pretty woman.

She wanted to date this man she had admired from afar less than a year ago - the man whose attention she had desperately wanted - the man who had been kind and helpful but who had hardly looked at her. But it could destroy her carefully constructed new life.

CHAPTER 2

GERTRUDE

The bus took an age to pull out of the depot and to get on the highway. It felt to Gertrude that it took forever, though she hadn’t looked at her watch, hadn’t timed it. She shrunk into the seat, staring fearfully out of the window, glad that the seat beside her was vacant and that the bus was only half full.

She was looking for police cars, listening for sirens, willing the bus to go faster. Finally, they were on Route 57 and had picked up speed. She didn’t know how many stops they would make, or even when they would get to New York. She hadn’t thought that far ahead.

She hadn’t planned on getting the New York bus. At the bus depot she had looked at the schedule and this bus was the next one scheduled to leave. She realized that New York would be a city where she could get lost, be hard to find. That is what she had heard, but she had never been there. And no-one in Robinsville would expect her to go there

She had bought a one-way ticket and stood in the small line of people, carefully avoiding eye contact, coat collar turned up and scarf wound around the lower part of her face, her heart in her mouth, until the bus pulled in and she was able to get on and try to lose herself in the seat shrinking down and making herself as invisible as possible.

Maybe it was the motion of the bus or maybe it was her self-imposed stillness, but she gradually started to relax a bit, breathed more slowly, and became aware of being extremely tired and hungry.

She