Fighter Fred One-Shot #1

By Jason A. Holt

Fred has been a fighter for nearly three weeks. He has figured out how to use a sword and how to explore monster-infested caverns. But he hasn't figured out how to deal with his crush on Yellin' Helen, the deadliest woman in the Fighters' Guild.

How can a first-level fighter impress a woman who can cleave through goblins so effortlessly? Maybe he needs to stop crawling dungeons with her and take her someplace special. Like a chicken coop. Yeah. This could be Fred's big chance!
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"The Chicken Coop of Destiny" is a stand-alone short story from early in Fighter Fred's career. It's kind of a mini-prequel to Fighter Fred and the Dungeon of Doom. Fans of Fighter Fred will enjoy this glimpse into Fred and Helen's early days. Readers new to the series will enjoy this introduction to the goofy world of Fighter Fred.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jason A. Holt
• Release date: Feb 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781950841158

Book preview

The Chicken Coop of Destiny

Torchlight flickered on the craggy stone walls. The cavern echoed with the soft rustlings of six low-level adventurers trying to move silently. Water dripped from those pointy things in the ceiling. What were they called? Sort of like icicles, but with rocks.

Rockcicles. That was it.

Water dripped from the rockcicles overhead, splashing with quiet little thumps into Fred’s scalp. Fred didn’t mind the drips. He didn’t mind the dampness of the cave floor slowly seeping into his sturdy leather adventuring boots. He didn’t mind the smoke from the mage’s torch, nor the long shadows that stretched out in front of him.

Creeping quietly through the dark cave, Fred was feeling happy and comfortable. Fred had been an adventurer for nearly three weeks, and he was starting to get the hang of this.

Behind Fred, the mage and the cleric were busy mapping. There’s a side passage to the right, the mage said. Beyond it, the main corridor continues straight for another twenty feet.

Side passage to the right, repeated the cleric. His pencil made quiet scritching sounds against his parchment. How long is it?

We can’t tell yet, said the mage. Helen will look around the corner while the elves listen for noise. Fred will stand guard, watching the passage ahead. You guard the rear.

Right, said the cleric. We do that. What happens?

Fred drew his sword and held it ready. He wasn’t sure what would happen. Usually, it was nothing. But sometimes it was something. If it was something this time, he wanted to be ready.

Helen rolled her eyes and made a show of looking around the corner. It’s dark, she announced. Just like last time.

Okay, said the mage. I pass the torch to Helen. What does she see?

The mage passed the torch to Helen.

Fred wasn’t sure why the mage told them what he was doing before he actually did it. Mages did lots of funny things Fred didn’t quite understand. Maybe once he’d been an adventurer for a full month –

Bloodthirsty screams rang against the cave walls. The torchlight illuminated beady eyes and glistening teeth.

In one fluid motion, Yellin’ Helen, barbarian warrior of the steppe, returned the torch to the mage and drew her humongous sword.

Gosh, she was gorgeous.

She wore only sturdy boots, a back scabbard, and a plate-mail bikini. Gliding forward on long, muscular legs, she moved like death.

Helen decapitated a goblin and stabbed the one behind it in the throat. Another goblin in the front rank wheeled to fend her off, but she drove her elbow into its face and smashed its teeth.

Even her elbows were beautiful and dangerous. Fred was enchanted.

Protect the mage! yelled the mage.

The elves unslung their bows. The cleric hastily rolled up his map.

Fred wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. The mage had told him to guard against attack from a different direction. Sometimes mages got mad if you stopped guarding your assigned passageway. Of course, they also got mad if you let goblins stab them.

Fred decided that he should stop guarding and start fighting. If he’d been a guard, maybe he would have continued guarding. But he wasn’t a guard. He was a fighter. He’d been a fighter for nearly three weeks.

Fred charged