My Victory in Jesus

By Dolores T. Horta

I praise God for all that has happened to me because through all this, I have learned to know God in a real way. Like in the book of Job 42.5 (TLB), "[But now I say,) I had heard about you before, but now 1 have seen you, a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brilliant Books Literary
• Release date: Feb 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781641336956

Dolores T. Horta

I was born and raised in the Philippines, and when I was sixteen years old, I was blamed for my father's death. I ran away from home to the big city of Manila. I was twenty years old when I met my future husband (whom I did not know at the time). He was an American who was stationed at Clark Air Force Base. We were married on October 11, 1966, there in the Philippines and later came to America. I was a Catholic at that time.My husband was in the military, so I went with him wherever he went. We had three wonderful children, and on one of our overseas assignments, our second son drowned in a swimming pool accident. We were in Spain at that time. That is when I became a born-again Christian.I have been involved Woman's Aglow and other women's ministries. I have been holding Bible studies and intercessory prayer meetings in our home ever since I became a Christian in August 1978. I have also been a guest speaker at many churches between here (Utah), California, the Philippines, and Mexico. I love the Lord, and I love to teach and let everyone know about our Lord Jesus Christ.My husband of fifty-four years and I have a son in Utah; a daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren in Sacramento, California; and a son in heaven. We moved to Utah in October of 1999 when the place my husband worked was closed.

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Contents

Foreword

Loss of My Father

In the World of the Occult

Leaving Home

Searching for Love

Life in a Nightclub

Tricked into Marriage

Birth of Our Children

Marriage Encounter

Loss of Our Son

To Arizona for Burial

Return to Spain

Born Again

Forgiveness

Adjusting to Life in Spain

To Communicate

Learning to be a Servant

My Chicken Story

Guilt, Trust, Miracle

God’s Power

Visited by My Sister

Healing Through the Word

My Friend, Jesus

My Deliverance through the Word

Robert Plays Football in Spain

Delivered from Fear

Filipino Bible Study Group

God Has Chosen the Foolish of This World

Volunteer in School

First Encounter of Deliverance

Volunteer for the Sunday School

Learning Together

The Rod of Correction

Healing

Going Home to the Philippines

Meeting with My Mother

The Miracle for My Mother

First Week in My Hometown

My Sisters

Time to Come Home

About the Author

Foreword

Dolores Horta has been an inspiration to so many people since she became a Christian. She is dedicated to God and doing His will in her life. She loves people and wants them to have a joyous life by coming to the Lord.

Dolores leads interesting Bible studies at home and in churches, preaches at churches, leads retreats, and appears as a guest speaker on TV (California and Utah). She has also traveled and preached in Mexico and in the Philippines, where she shared God’s message and ministered to them, always giving all the glory to God.

Dolores spent much time in intercessory prayer alone and with groups. It has been a pleasure to pray with her through the years and see God opening doors for her to speak and see Him move mightily in situations.

During prayer in the Bible study groups, people were healed of cancer, AIDS, other physical conditions, and mental problems, as well as spiritual issues.

Dolores Horta is indeed a chosen vessel of the LORD to reach His people. You will enjoy reading this book to know her life story and how you too can receive all that God has in store for you.

Dolores always relies on God. Two of her favorite scriptures are the following:

I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s powers. (1 Cor. 2:3–5, NlV)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today and forever. (Heb. 13:8, NlV)

In Christ’s love,

Wyone Babst

1

Loss of My Father

My childhood memories are filled with recollections of happiness. My father owned a couple of boats; the largest boat, he used for personal use for the family to go from island to island. The other boat was smaller, like a catamaran, which we used for recreation. He enjoyed boating, and whenever he would return home, he would take me along with him. I would help him with the sails and balance the boat by standing on the outriggers as we sailed. It was a very special time for me with my father, and there was nothing in the world to worry about.

Since we lived so close to the beach, I always wanted to be with my father, boating out in the middle of the ocean. All I could see was water everywhere, and I got scared and started to cry. My father asked me why I was crying, and I told him that I thought that we would not be able to go back home because I could not see land anymore. My father then told me not to worry because he knew where we were. He told me that nothing was going to happen to me because he was there with me.

One time I decided to go with my father to one of his plantations. To get to this other plantation, we had to go by the edge of the water. I was afraid when we got to the place where the waves were pounding against the rocks. It was high tide, and the waves were coming in higher each time. There were a lot of rocks sticking out of the water, and my father told me that I was going to have to get across by myseIf. I tried to follow my father, but I was not used to climbing rocks.

At this one particular place, I got scared and stayed up above the rocks. I did not want to go down because the big waves were getting stronger around the rocks. Finally my father came back and got me. He carried me across to the other side. As he was carrying me, he was telling me not to be afraid of the waves because all I had to do was watch when the waves would roll back, then that would be the time to get across.

I was always with my father and would go everywhere he would go, except when he was working. I learned a lot from him, especially about copra, which was made from coconut fibers.

Another time we were at another coconut plantation, and I decided I wanted to eat a baby coconut. I asked my father if he could get me one. He climbed up the tree and told me to move away, but instead of moving away, I stood closer to the tree. When my father shook the coconut branches, a coconut fell and hit me on the head, knocking me out. When I woke up, my father was leaning over me and crying. I guess he thought that I was dead. Well, that was the last time my father took me with him to the coconut plantations.

I had such a beautiful childhood upbringing because I was my father’s favorite child. I was the sixth girl born in the family. My father always used to tell me that I was his favorite because after I was born, my mother gave birth to a baby boy, so they thought that I was their good luck charm. My parents loved all their children. My father was such a good father to me. My father would always make sure that I got whatever I wanted. That is one thing I remember about my father. My life changed when my father died in a boat accident, and I was blamed for his death.

In the Philippines, there are over two thousand islands, and when this accident happened, I was on one of the other islands with my sister. When I was ready to go home, I sent a telegram to my father to come and pick me up from this island. On his way over to pick me up, something went wrong with the boat, and it blew up. His body was never found.

When this accident happened, my mother sent me a telegram to come as soon as possible, so I came home without knowing of my father’s death. Just as soon as I entered my home, everyone was there, and I could not understand why my father had not picked me up like he had planned. When my mother saw me, she cried and said, Your father is dead because of you. You killed your father.

I still did not understand what had happened until some of my relatives pointed their fingers at me also and said, If it weren’t for you, your father would still be alive today. That night, confused and afraid of what had happened, I felt so alone because my father died in this accident. I had lost everything, including my whole family. They blamed me for my father’s death.

At the age of sixteen, I did not know what to do; all I knew was that I was all alone in this world. With no one to talk to and with all this rejection from my whole family, I learned to shut myseIf off from them to hide my feelings from everyone. By doing this, I also grew to hate my whole family for rejecting me. I was determined to show my family that I did not need them, just the way they had shown me that they did not need me. My mother would always say that every time she saw my face, it would remind her of my father’s death. It hurt me so much inside every time she would say that. All my childhood memories were so beautiful, filled with love from my father and all the things he did for me.

My father used to travel, and when he would come home, I was almost certain that I would receive a gift from him. And now he was dead. I could never understand why it had to happen this way. Have you ever been with a crowd of people, but still felt like you were still alone? Well, I have because I’ve been there. I felt like I had a dreaded disease that would infect anybody who would get near me. I could not understand why God had taken my father away and not someone else. Why did it have to be my father? I really started to think that it was God’s fault, and I thought if this God was so loving, then why did he take my father?

I remember when my father was still alive, before we would all go to sleep, my father would lead us in prayer. So when I was alone, I would think of all those prayers we had prayed, and especially how my father was the one who was leading us in prayer. Why could not this God do something to stop the boat from blowing up? Why had this God allowed it to happen? Did not this God know that I needed my father? I missed my father so much, and at the same time, I could not cry for my father’s death because in my mind, if I would cry for my father, that would mean that I really had killed my father.

Looking back, I realize how stupid I was and the way I acted toward God, how ridiculous to think that I did not need God. Things started going through my mind like building up hate toward my father. Why had he left me in this situation? I thought that maybe he did not really love me at all.

My thoughts started playing tricks on my mind, and anger was building up inside of me. If I would have been a Christian then, I’m sure I could have used this scripture from the Bible found in Ephesians 4:26-27 (TLB), where it says, If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry-get over it quickly, for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

I wish I had known the Word of God then, but praise God anyway. I started believing that I had really killed my father. I started going through this seIf-condemnation of how I had done this horrible thing. I asked myseIf what would be next. I was just a confused sixteen-year-old with no one around to tell me that these were all lies of the devil. If a person doesn’t know anything, how would they know what to believe? I started believing all those lies that I was the most horrible person who ever lived in this world. At that time, I did not know the meaning of suicide, but I would always think that maybe if I attempted to kill myseIf, my family would start loving me again.

I could not understand why they had all turned against me. Why did they suddenly stop loving me? It hurt so badly, especially when all you knew was to love your family. Suddenly that love just did not exist anymore; I just could not comprehend all this. I would start thinking of all kinds of dumb things to do, hoping to get my mother’s attention. I thought that would encourage her to start loving me again. I really did not care if all my other relatives would never love me again; I just wanted my mother back. I did not want to lose my mother and my father at the same time, but it looked as if it was turning out that way.

Fear is the most horrible companion a person can have. I developed this thing in my life that I could really make myseIf sick if I wouldn’t get what I wanted. I became an expert on manipulating everyone to receive some attention. I learned to fight, to get my own way. I was brought up in such a strict family that I was not even allowed to say no to my older sister, much less to my parents. They called it respect for my parents. Our whole family had respect toward each other.

I was so desperate to be loved that I would try to get that love however I could get it, not realizing, of course, that manipulation was not the way to get that love. Before my father died, I had never felt unloved, but now I needed that family love more than anything else. I did not want to pray because I still blamed God. Confused and without any understanding of all that had happened, I refused to pray to God, not really knowing who God was. I was ignorant for blaming God for all these things that happened in my life. I would ask God why He had killed my father, but no answer, of course, was given.

2

In the World of the Occult

In the Philippines, fortune-tellers were easy to find, so they were my first encounter with the so-called occult. The first time that I went to one of these fortune-tellers, she told me many things that I already knew. I thought to myseIf, at least she was telling me truth…so I thought. Innocently, I had opened the door of my life to Satan. My religious background stemmed from the Catholic Church. I did not know that going to fortune-tellers was wrong because everybody else I noticed was doing the same thing also. When you are looking for help with your life, you will try anything as temporary relief. Almost every day I would go see the fortune-teller. I guess when we are hurting inside, all we want to do is get someone to agree with us, even if it doesn’t make any difference if it’s true or not. All that matters is that there is someone you can pour your problems out to.

This went on and on until finally, I was no longer satisfied with what this fortune-teller was telling me. Finally, I decided that it looked so easy that maybe I could tell my own fortune, and at the same time, I would be saving myseIf some money. I surprised myseIf when I did find out that I could tell my own fortune. I almost became an expert on fortune-telling, but I soon got tired of just telling fortunes, so again I started searching for other more exciting things to do. You see, I was still searching for something. I knew I needed someone to love me because I could not get that love from my family any longer. The deeper I searched, the more emptiness I found. I noticed that my actions started changing me. I became domineering, hateful, unforgiving, and all other sorts of rebellious acts. I did not like this change in myseIf, but at that moment, I could not do anything about it.

I had no control over what was happening in myseIf; it was as if something had taken control of my actions. At the same time, it was my weapon to protect myseIf from being hurt again. Bitterness is the worst kind of enemy to take control over you, then loneliness. I still did not understand why all these things had to happen to me. It was such bondage to feel this way. It seemed as if there was no way out. Fear was so real in my life that I thought everyone was out to get me. So I developed another protection for myseIf. I learned to put up walls all around me to keep me from being hurt again. It’s funny now to think back to all those silly things I did to make me happy outside, but inside, I was dying. Putting up those walls was the only thing I knew to protect myseIf from being hurt again. I swore to myseIf that nobody was going to hurt me anymore, as my mother and other relatives had.

I soon found something else to turn to and soon became very good at it. I started lying to myseIf. Even in that, I soon became an expert, so expert that I did not know when I was telling the truth or a lie. That was a very bad situation to be in.

3

Leaving Home

About a year after my father’s death, I decided to leave home. My home was located in the southern part of Luzon Island in the Philippines. I could see that I wasn’t wanted around there anymore, so why stay? I decided to go to Manila and stay with my sister and maybe find a job there. I had never before worked any place in my life, and I did not even know how I was going to make it away from home. However, that was not my concern at the time; all I wanted to do was to leave home. I was feeling so rejected from everyone at home that I thought that was the best thing to do. I was determined to show my mother, sisters, and brothers that I, Dolores, did not need them either. There was the determination in my life that I was out to show them different.

I left home without knowing what was going to happen to me. Actually, that did not even occur to me; all I was thinking about was revenge. I thought I was going to hurt my mother by leaving home, but when I said that I was leaving, my mother said okay. Now, that hurt me more because she did not even try to stop me.

You know when you are hurting, the only way to get back at people all around you is by hurting them also. So when I left home, I did not bother to tell my mother where I was going. I thought that maybe she did not care anyway, so why bother? But now that I am a mother myseIf, I know that my mother could never hate me. I know that she still loved me, and I can understand her situation. But there was still this fear of reality around me,