F'd Wide Open
By Marja West
()
About this ebook
Now more than ever, Divine Love and Spiritual Awakening are essential to the survival of humanity. In this fast-paced world of techie-toys, instant messages, unconscionable greed, and the appalling indifference of a Divide & Conquer mindset, culminating in unspeakable violence, it is the Heart-Based New Humanity leading the way to conscious
Marja West
Marja West is a non-guru lineage Spiritual Teacher, Way-Show-er, Divine Love Agent Provocateur, Medical Intuitive, and Master Energy Healer specializing in dissolving all forms of Trauma-based Mind Control. She mentors today's men, women and children-the Heart-Based New Humanity-with practical tools to evolve from Victim to Victorious. Visit her online at www.MarjaWest.com.
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F'd Wide Open - Marja West
Contents
Preface
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Waking Up
The Illusion of Separation
Your Purpose
Our Sexual Wounding as Food for the God-Goddess Eaters
Remembering and Reclaiming Unity Consciousness
Invocation
Invitation to Divine Love
Divine Love Agent Provocateur
The Spiritual Practice of Love
The Totality of Human Experience
Chapter 1: The True Nature of Reality
Formless and Form
Absolute Balanced Mastery
One Man, One Woman
The Mind Control Programs of Patriarchy/Matriarchy and the False New Age
Big Fat Lies
Masculine-Feminine 101
The Seven Senses of Our Sensual-Sensorial World
Our Core Essence Is Feminine or Masculine
You Are the Divine-In-The-Flesh
The Nature of Reality and Perception
Duality into Oneness
Our Emotional-Energetic Blueprint and Energy Mastery
Our Thoughts, Beliefs, and Feelings
The Time Is Now
Chapter 1 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 2: Just My Initiation
The Goddess, Marina
I, Sensuous Girl
Dirty Girl, Branded
Choice
Make Love, Make Love
Tying the Knot, Untying the Knot
Chapter 2 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 3: Discovery
Love, Forgotten
The Pyramid of Manipulation by the Powers-That-Wanna-Be
The Master Key
Date Night
Stop
Wisdom Inside You
Love. Love. Love
Sex—The World’s Substitute for Love
Chapter 3 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 4: The World Is Not the Planet
The Dawning of the World
The Powerful Few
First Level: Lessons of Survival
Second Level: Lessons of Power and Submission
Third Level: Lessons of Neo-Equality/Freedom
Fourth Level: Serving Love and the Divine
Interplay of All Four Levels
Higher Energy Portals of Consciousness
Interference and Hijacking Our Superpowers
Chapter 4 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 5: Dumbing Down Our Divinity Through Mind Control & Programming
The Waking Gods and Goddesses Movement
Woman Knows
Sacred Mutuality
Fairy Tales and Love Stories
Objectifying the Goddess
Patriarchal Domination, Fake Feminism, and the Fall of the Feminine
Skydancing—Ascension of the Feminine and Her Descent into Full Form
Chapter 5 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 6: The Ascent, Descent & Embodiment of Conscious Man
Born to Be Bad: Sins of the Father (and the Mother)
Man Up Backlash: Beyond Deleting Programs
The Sword of Truth: Clarity & Purpose Toward Conscious Union
Keeping Man Honest
Healing the Horrors of War
The Spiritual Reasons for Sexual Dysfunction
Chapter 6 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 7: Woman: You Are the Gatekeeper to Conscious Presence on the Planet
Two Hearts and the Cradle of Life
The Gateway to Conscious Presence
Yang and Yin—Fire and Water
The Sensual Life Wheel
Dying to Be yourSelf
Commanding Love
Chapter 7 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 8: Betrayal & Mistrust of Women & the Feminine Principle
Girl Betrayal: Sisters Against Sisters
My Mother, MySelf
My Inner Feminine and Masculine
My Sister, MySelf
Chapter 8 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 9: Transfiguration: Facing Our Darkness, Radiating Light
Overstanding: Beyond the Edge of Understanding
Dark Sexuality
My Sexual Healing
Questioning Reality
Trauma, Belief, and Mind Control Busters
Life Is an Emotional Journey
Chapter 9 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 10: The Divine Purpose of Heartbreak
Mirror, Mirror
Heartbreak
Forgiveness
Two Pathways of Heartbreak
Pride
Chapter 10 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 11: The Scent of God: The Quest for the Beloved
The Scent of God
Musical Lovers
Of Two Heads and Two Minds
Chapter 11 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 12: Familiarity: The Death of Love
The Way We Were
Who Are You?
Making Love Divine
Chapter 12 Journaling Exercises
Chapter 13: Divine Lovemaking
Our Bodies Know Divine Lovemaking
Home
Love, Now…
Chapter 13 Journaling Exercises
Epilogue: The Heart-Based New Humanity
Ascending, Descending, Incarnating on Purpose, and Embodiment
Serving Love, Truth, and Beauty
Heart-Based New Humanity Embodiment Keys and Practices
Closing Invocation
List of Contributors
Contributor Bios
Glossary of Terms
Author Bio
List of Illustrations
The Pyramid of Manipulation Chart (created by Marja West and Davin Infinity)
Chakra-Based Relationship Lessons Chart (created by Marja West and Davin Infinity)
Heart-Based New Humanity Chakra Guide (created by Marja West and Davin Infinity)
ALL FEMINISM IS NOT EQUAL Graphic (created by and permissions granted by Mark Passio)
The Sensual Life Wheel Chart (created by Marja West and Davin Infinity)
YOU ARE THE DIVINE-IN-THE-FLESH.
—Marja West
Fresh acclaim for
F’d Wide Open
This book is sure to inspire a genuine awakening that draws us closer into our own Divine Essence—rather than the programming of the old patriarchal system and the New Age deceptions. It reveals how our unconscious continuation of hierarchy and separation is greatly inhibiting the dance and flow of these cosmic forces, which, when embraced and integrated, empowers us to fully be ourselves. This book is a deprogramming in many ways. It is written in such a palpable way that engages the reader to embark on a journey into their own unconscious, and it enables one to recognize where one may still be immersed in the distortions that take our power away, or encourage beliefs that continue to hold us hostage to agendas that do not serve our Sovereignty or Divine Birthright. I can’t think of anything more important than coming to terms with these gender conditionings and the reclamation of the Divine Blueprint. It is an incredible support to the way we navigate relationships—our relationship with Self and our relationship with life. It reminds us of the Divine Heart and what the most necessary keys are to a real awakening, bringing us closer and closer to recognizing our own potential and Divinity, without control, but with liberation from the old way, as the guide to get there.
—Laura Magdalene Eisenhower
Galactic Historian, Global Alchemist,
Cosmic Mythologist, Whistleblower
www.CosmicGaiaSophia.com
Marja West invites us all to awaken to the love we truly are—undistracted by our lists of all the things to do. She offers the compelling message: love, now!
—Marci Shimoff
NY Times Bestselling Author Happy for No Reason,
Love for No Reason, Chicken Soup for the Soul of Women
www.LoveForNoReason.com
Marja West is not only a full-fledged, freelance mystic; I believe she’s been an intuitive empath all along, from birth. She’s also earned a black belt from the School of Hard Knocks and holds a graduate degree from the University of the Universe. In the kindergarten for saints we call life, she’s a big-hearted teacher for lifelong learning, starting now. She guides us through the often rocky terrain of life as it ‘lives’ us moment to moment. In relationships, we face our greatest teachers—beckoning us to open, to go deeper, dissolve our reactivity, to stay and not escape, and to love, anyway, because love is what we are.
—Gary Gach
Mindfulness Teacher, Author of
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Buddhism,
Editor of What Book!?
– Buddha Poems from Beat to Hiphop
We are honored to write a recommendation for Marja West’s book F’ d Wide Open. Her description of the struggle of women and men to heal from their exposure to violence and unconsciousness and how profoundly this unconsciousness has affected their sexuality is enlightening. Also, her discussion of the transformation of unconscious man to Conscious Man Arising
and of unconscious women to empowered women parallels our own process of rising out of the depths of collective male domination–driven insensitivity. Her sharing of her own personal process as well as those of others—both men and women who are healing from unconsciousness—makes the book readable and heartfelt. In this journey of recovery, she also describes the Divine purpose of pain, suffering, and heartbreak. She also gives us clear tools for creating love that is alive and nourishing, including guidelines for sacred sexuality. She ends with an inspiring message for what she calls ‘the Heart-Based New Humanity.’ This book can be immensely helpful for anyone, particularly couples, who seek to find a new and conscious way of living alone and together. Bravo!
—with Love, Krishnananda Trobe, MD, and Amana Trobe
Founders and Directors of
Learning Love Institute, Sedona, Arizona
www.LearningLoveInstitute.com
Marja West is a beacon of Divine Love and wisdom. Her book,
F’ d Wide Open, invites us all to upgrade our most intimate relationships. She illuminates how to embrace the physical aspects of being human, one of our most empowered expressions of love. Marja West has created a literary invitation to personal growth, a love letter to the power of expansion and self-acceptance.
—Vaishãli
Life Management Expert,
Author of You Are What You Love & Wisdom Rising,
Syndicated Radio Show Host,
Huffington Post Columnist
www.PurpleV.com
"DURING TIMES OF UNIVERSAL DECEIT,
TELLING THE TRUTH BECOMES
A REVOLUTIONARY ACT."
—George Orwell
For Prilly
Preface
Writing this book was a messy trek into my underworld and the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to go back in time and relive every painful memory and trauma over the entirety of my life, which is completely antithetical to my teachings and the healing work I facilitate.
Psychics and forensic analysts would find bloodshed on these pages, skin and hair samples, spittle and mucous, the sweat of hard labor, lots of mascara-laced tears, and the battle gore of angels and demons.
Early in life, it dawned on me there are infinite perspectives. Defending my position proved futile and exhausting, so I learned to remain open-minded in the realm of all possibility and listen to other viewpoints, sometimes fighting back tears because I felt afraid, alone, misunderstood, shamed, and dismissed, or utterly stunned, disgusted, and horrified by the opinions of others.
Imagine a beautiful warm summer day, the kind with fluffy white clouds and a sky so incredibly rich and forever blue. The wondrous three-year-old me smiled from ear to ear, determined to voice my breathless enthusiasm to my often-harried and irritated mother. Joy was my natural frequency, but for my tribe, such expansiveness usually triggered an onslaught of verbal and physical reprimands. Certain she would delight in my moment’s pleasure, I was shocked and traumatized when something so innocent got ugly and twisted. According to her, the sky was bloodred; it was not up for debate. For many years thereafter, I vilified her crazy dismissal until I witnessed for mySelf a perfect and intensely gorgeous bloodred sky! In that moment, I realized my own dismissive folly—that my mother was actually speaking well of her truth, based on her personalized perspective, as seen through her very own eyes. My defensive posture relaxed and melted into a puddle of love.
Except for being told what to do, no one really engaged me, but I asked lots of rarely answered questions. Once I learned to write, I befriended diaries—sketched, recorded my thoughts, vented hard feelings, journaled, and documented and dissected dreams and nightmares by viewing mySelf as playing all of the characters. Often my privacy was invaded, followed by the demand to justify my entries because a family member, friend, or beloved didn’t like what they’d read about themSelves. Never mind they crossed into my personal space.
The paradoxical nature of perception and the world was in my face. I saw through the façade of pretentiousness, called it out in my own teenaged-Self, and witnessed its common thread weave through nearly everything and everyone unnoticed. Human behavior seemed automated in the obviously perception-managed world at large. Feelings of isolation, anger, rage, frustration, fear, helplessness, and sorrow comingled with my joyousness. Right and wrong and common sense were apparent to me, but the moral compass of humanity wavered and pointed more toward the imperialistic domination over the divided masses. Though I found solace in Nature, the inescapable collective suffering and injustices of the world were in my cells, often causing me to weep uncontrollably in deep despair or engage in target practice or martial arts sparring to help quell my outrage. Often these strategies backfired, producing injury, broken bones, and more feelings of rage and frustration.
In my endeavors to take responsibility and alleviate my own personalized suffering and inner toxicity, I did lots of inner work. I checked out all sorts of tools and techniques to face and compost my emotions, reactions, thoughts, and beliefs, so that my actions were effective and life affirming. I studied and absorbed the various medicinal qualities available to me through astrology, archetypal psychology, the philosophical writings of Epictetus, numerology, tarot, comparative religion, the Kabbalah, yoga, various New Age channeled teachings, meditation, neuro-linguistic programming, Rebirthing Breathwork, Pranic Healing, Five Element Chinese Medicine, homeopathy, Reiki, Wicca, and even black magic. My biggest allies, however, were journaling, music—my pianos, violins, guitars—dance, hiking, Nature’s flora and fauna, gazing up into the night’s sky, rocks and minerals, the humor of Monty Python, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Bill Hicks, mind-bending TV shows like The Prisoner, The Outer Limits, and The Twilight Zone, libraries and books, my kitty cats, puppies, and bunnies, snakes and turtles, the faerie realm, sylphs, unicorns, and mermaids, and the cosmic toilet in my mind that playfully flushed
on command as my right foot stomped whenever I got tweaked.
While the yoga of comedy and laughter saw me through the really rough periods of my life, there were quite a number of things I witnessed that weren’t so funny. Throughout the ’70s, ’80s, and into the ’90s, I observed blind followers of the false New Age Movement conveniently and deceptively talk and walk the slippery slope of advocating personal truth over Truth—resulting in a bizarre form of righteous narcissism: the kind that tauntingly upchucks "my truth is truer than yours or the desperate ad nauseam repeated pop psychology mantra
I know my truth, I know my truth, I know my truth, I know my truth…I do, I do, I do…" and so on and so on, whilst ignoring the Truth of what actually is, without the full understanding that what actually is IS old news. Even though connecting with personal truth is crucial to Self-discovery and Self-healing, this messed with me in a huge way. Articulating my concerns upset folks; most just cannot accept that Truth is often inconvenient, ugly, and does not give two shits about you personally, yet Truth, in—dare I say—all its forms, is the vehicle through which you are able to cocreate the reality you prefer through the contrast of something negative in the What is-ness
of dealing with and facing up to a reality that sucks.
I saw clearly that New Age Bullshit memes like You gotta deal with reality
and Face up to what is
were nothing more than clever mind control traps that kept people depressed and hopeless because for most, nothing ever changes for the better. Many of us are trapped in the discomfort of cognitive dissonance because although we know something is way off, we doubt our perceptions because of all the gaslighting from New Age Bullshit and pop psychology psycho-babble, all of which would have us forever talking about all our troubles ad infinitum, at $450 per 50-minute therapy session. Sure, I advocate dealing with reality
and facing up to what is
as they are offering up clarifying details about what you’d prefer to create, but allowing such old news to be the repetitive talking focal points of your life is exactly what keeps you recreating the same shitty reality and what is
over and over again and again. This is why most people’s lives and circumstances never change, and if your life’s circumstances really suck, then you have to modify your focus. At the very least, you have to stop talking about it or tell a different story, hopefully a story you’d prefer to tell.
With great enthusiasm, I tried to tell everyone I knew of my cosmic discovery, but very few got it. Most of my friends just wanted to get drunk and high and fuck their brains out. I felt surrounded by the living dead and wanted to shake people out of their slumber. Being petite and blessed with exotic features, my naturally animated, brutally frank, combative, edgy, passionate, and wickedly wacky sarcastic tongue often disarmed folks. I adjusted how I spoke out and tried withholding, lying, speaking the words folks preferred to hear, and sugarcoating my observations, but still my words failed to make an impact. Though Mercury in Scorpio in the 10th House gives me an acute ability to observe reality and tell it like it is without dwelling on what is
—plus a natural tendency to discover the Truth beneath surface appearances, without filters to tone down my Self-expression and a bullshit meter with no off switch—being around me was a huge challenge for folks stuck in artifice, pseudo-comfort, and the politically correct convention of culture and social etiquette as prescribed by the powers-that-wanna-be.
In my late twenties, I discovered I was a shadow magnet and light-bearer. The polarities of existence whispered and shouted at me constantly to stay the fuck awake, pay attention, and discover objective Truth at all costs. My egress from normal consensus reality included extricating mySelf from the seductive New Age Movement, which I discovered firsthand was overrun with bullshit, the occult, and the false light
of self-proclaimed, ego-maniacal wanna-be-rock-star gurus posing as so-called enlightened spiritual teachers drenched in marketing tactics and human pheromones. This process was a painful deliverance; many of my friends thought I’d gone completely mad and dropped me like a bad habit, yet new like-hearted, like-minded friends, allies, benefactors, and supporters—all devotees to Truth and Freedom—greeted me with open arms.
Though I kept my energy medicine healing work on the down low, I attracted hundreds of women and men from all over the world, consciously seeking to heal from the darkest and most horrific sexual traumas, many of whom were suffering from AIDS. Call it kismet; I manifested a busy international energy healing/spiritual mentoring practice and curriculum—with the majority of my client-student work focused on spiritual awakening through healing sexual abuse and teaching Energy Mastery. The work was deep, profound, and sacred. In collaboration with my clients-students, I aligned with their courage to wake up and take back their creative-sexual energies from their perpetrators. It became clear to me that the tremendous gifts of healing and revelation that came from these collaborations had to be shared. It was my task and moral obligation to take it on. However, in order to do so, I had to revisit some lingering atrocities from my past and clear them. Wading through the charnel grounds of my own deeply hidden and horrific sexual abuse was tantamount to dying a thousand deaths, but with the help of my greatest mentor, PK, I emerged from the darkness, victorious and whole. I became allied with every facet of the underworld, which also included the suffering and tyranny of the world.
The inspiration to write this book arrived in 2001, just before 9/11. PK asked me, "When are you going to drop your work so you and your beloved can really be together?" Surprisingly, her question activated the unraveling of my own secret quest for Conscious Love and the beloved. My man moved to a city nearly 600 miles away without me, and I was relieved. Clearly not devoted to him like I was to my work, I had to answer to spiritually bypassing my life and using work as a distraction from feeling, let alone acknowledging my deepest Feminine longing. Moreover, I suspected 9/11 was a massive trauma-based mind control manipulation and distortion by the powers-that-wanna-be. Sensitive to all energetic-psychic disturbances from what I deem as purposeful chaos black magic and sorcery, I was aware that the enormous levels of terror, fear, shock, rage, and despair this false flag event generated¹ hijacked our collective creative energies, decimated our sense of safety, instantly eliminated certain freedoms, and divided us even more deeply.
This divisiveness made me realize the importance of not just waking up to the Truth of who and what we are, but also to the Truth of the insanity of our shared collective reality that we’ve all contributed to and how perception is purposefully managed and manipulated to control our behavior and creative energies and direct the human condition in the opposite direction of its Divinity by entrenching us in trauma that programs or mind controls us to search for distractions that numbs us from feeling, prevents us from engaging critical thinking, and immobilizes us from taking action. My book needed to address these intrinsic links.
This 2018 version is revised, updated, and completely unfiltered. The first draft yielded over 700 pages, 400 pages transcribed from my many hours of live talks and presentations from 1996 to 2005. The later versions included material from radio, speaking, and webinar presentations from 2007 to 2017. The manuscript morphed into three books, surviving the censorship, criticism, and scrutiny of friends and colleagues whose emotionally triggered world views hover in the vicinity of the uber-liberal left…regardless of facts, many of whom are staunch nonbelievers of a New World Order agenda, impersonal Truth, and Divine Love. I’ve witnessed firsthand blatant coercion, divisiveness, and sexism, along with the prevalence of power-hungry egomaniacal, lying, manipulative sociopaths in so-called conscious communities,
skillfully veiling their cult and sycophant dynamics—like the Truth and Freedom Movement, spiritually based entrepreneurial changemakers, man-hating Fake Feminists disguised as Divine Feminine-Goddess networks deceptively engineering Fake Rape Culture—only to sabotage the forward movements of bringing sexual predators to justice and UFO groups spinning disinformation about extra-terrestrials saving humanity…just to name a few and have had to extricate mySelf from these associations. I bumped into my mythology around wanting authenticity and belonging as I kept being told to shut up with my negativity
and only focus on love and light,
as promulgated by New Age Bullshit. Such directives offered the medicine of opportunity to face my fears of standing on my own, fully exposed, with grace and dignity—steadfast in Love, Truth, and Beauty, even if it meant being dissed, thrown under the bus, or becoming a target for hate mail and more criticism. With every naysayer, tremendous love and support continues to show up in droves.
F’ d Wide Open is my humbled heart and soul’s direct experience about waking up to a world so undeniably rude and oppressive, atop a planet so beautiful, that I’ve had to question the Nature of Reality, face the Truth of my own enslavement and suffering, heal the darkness around my sexuality, reclaim my sovereignty to my bestest ability, and open my heart to the true nature of Divine Love, while fully incarnating and showing up in my life, in the world as it is. I lay down a foundation of the darkest and most unpleasant issues of our shared reality with respect to my own life’s journey in the introduction and first nine chapters of this book. I believe and deeply feel that in order to heal individually and collectively, each of us, even the fainthearted, must confront the harsh Truths of the world we’ve cocreated. This is the giant first step forward each of us must take toward changing the manifested reality of our lost world and bringing our world back into alignment with Love, Truth, and Beauty and its true Divine Nature as our planet.
My journey down the rabbit hole moved me beyond the us vs. them paradigm of reactionary finger pointing, upset, and post-traumatic stress inherent in Truths unveiled or de-occulted,
into a place of devoting mySelf at all costs to the solutions made available through awareness and consciousness and choosing to reside in the realm of all possibility. I thank you in advance for being awesome, brave, caring, and curious.
Acknowledgments
The art of writing is a solitary act, but this book did not assume its form without the help of my virtual assistant, Sabine, who rocked it from Paris and was able to transcribe the many hours of my recorded talks, then read and input my handwritten manuscript into a Word document—thank you Balm/Bomb Goddess of the VA Yoniverse.
To the late Dr. Dan Q. Posin, my beloved astronomy professor and six time Nobel Peace Prize nominee—eternal appreciation for opening my very first college lecture with the most sublime words from my childhood (and reminding me), "We are made of Stardust," and for embodying the very best of humanity through your creative, loving, inspired way of teaching, you are forever in my heart.
To Gary Gach, thank you for your generosity in downloading my first lessons in book publishing; you inspired me to maintain creative integrity no matter what.
Immense appreciation to Desai Carrea, Daniel Giamario, Michael Olivares, Christopher Sanchez, Chip Simons, Richard Moore, Oscar Perez, Michael Parra Callas, and Richard Zakka for holding me large in your deep masculine support whilst the mysterious feminine and I came into full being in that sacred space.
Deep love and appreciation to my four-legged lovey doves—Atto-Kalashnikova-47 (who went over the rainbow bridge to join Mitter Rufus and Yamina-Yamina-Girlina-Serafina-Babylina-Yamina-
Yamina), Mr. Fang-Chu Moon Rollo Chinois Viking (a.k.a. Pug), Jaguar, and Veruschka.
Blissed-out waves of praise to the spiritual teachers, poets, and singer-songwriters who grace this book with their words of sublime spiritual human wisdom—invoking the powers without and evoking the powers within to shine, shine, and shine: Adyashanti, Dorothy Walters, Tina Malia, Sophia Antipas, MamaCoAtl, Julie Gesin, Nicholas Leaskou, Lisa Dewey, Meera Godbole, Peruquois Frances, Astarius Miraculii, and Shriimate.