When You Were a Shark (and Other Yarns and Briny Critters)

By Neil McFarlane

When You Were a Shark is a collection of educational and entertaining stories designed for parents to read to/with children aged five to infinity!

In each story, your child will have a great time being the main character who changes into and lives the life of a sea creature for a day.

Although the main aim of this book is to entertain young readers with fantastical adventures in which they are the star, kids will also ...

... learn amazing facts about the workings and wonders of the natural world
... learn about the behaviour, habits and lives of these amazing creatures
... discover a new perspective on life by walking in another animal’s ‘shoes’ for a day
... have a funny adventure that will captivate and educate
... giggle!

CONTENTS

1. When You Were a Jellyfish
2. When You Were a Crab
3. When You Were a Dolphin
4. When You Were a Shark
5. When You Were an Octopus
6. When You Were a Lobster
7. When You Were a Seahorse
8. When You Were a Swordfish

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neil McFarlane
• Release date: Jan 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005072278

Book preview

WHEN YOU WERE A JELLYFISH

Do you remember when you were a jellyfish?

A jellyfish? you ask.

Yes, a jellyfish! I reply.

It happened just today and you've forgotten about it already, haven't you? Let me tell you what happened.

We were sitting at home when suddenly you asked me, Do you want to see my tummy?

Why would I want to see your tummy? I asked.

You replied, Because it's so lovely. Then you lifted up your shirt and showed me.

I gave it a poke with my finger and said, Wow, look at it wobble!

You frowned. You didn’t like me saying you had a wobbly tummy!

Then you said, It wobbles because it’s made of jelly.

What flavour jelly? I asked.

You thought for a moment and then said, Potato?

Then I asked you, Why is your tummy made of jelly all of a sudden?

You scratched your head, trying to think of an answer, and then you said, I know. It’s because I’m a jellyfish!

You’re not a jellyfish, I replied.

Oh yes I am! you said. I’m a jellyfish! I’m a jellyfish!

Then you ran out the door and ran down the street yelling, I’m a jellyfish! I’m a jellyfish! and all the people were amazed because your skin was now see-through and they could see all your insides—your brain, your heart, your breakfast … everything!

You ran and you ran until you came to the sea. By this time your arms had disappeared and your head too! Your legs were shrinking and you staggered down the beach just before they disappeared completely. You rolled into the salty waves and floated in the cold water.

Now that you were a jellyfish, you no longer had any bones. Bones are the hard things inside most animals that make our bodies strong. Being a jellyfish, you were all flabby and floppy and squidgy and squashy, so you were very happy to be in the water where you could just float about and relax.

After a while, you tried to think about how to be a jellyfish, about what you should eat and where you should go and what you should do and that sort of thing. After all, if you were going to be a jellyfish, you wanted to do it right. You didn’t want the other sea creatures to poke fun at you and say that you were doing it all wrong.

But try as you might, you couldn’t think a single thought. Do you know why not? Because a jellyfish doesn’t have a brain! And how can you make thoughts without a brain, which is really a kind of thought-making machine, isn’t it? Not only did you not have a brain, you weren’t even sure that you had a head.

While you were waiting for a thought to arrive, you tried to swim about by moving your arms and legs. Uh oh! You didn’t have any arms or legs to swim about with!

No bones! No brain! No head! No arms! No legs! Oh dear oh dear … what a strange creature you were!

Jellyfishb

Just then, a lobster came up to you and said, Ha. Look at you! You’re all flabby and floppy and squidgy and squashy. Why, you haven’t even got a brain, have you? Not like me. I’ve got a huge brain. My brain is as big as the moon. I’m a lobster genius!

This was what you’d been worried about—the other sea creatures poking fun at you. In fact, that lobster didn't only poke fun at you, he poked his big claw at you, right in your jelly—POKE! POKE! POKE!—and said, in a sing-song voice: No brain! No brain!

Stop poking me! you told him.

Shan’t! said that mean lobster, and he poked you again. Then he said, Ow!

Do you know why he said Ow!?

It was because you’d stung him.

I may not have a brain, you said, but I know how to sting you.

And it was true. You were a jellyfish now, and you could sting anybody you wanted, any time you wanted.

That mean old lobster said, How dare you sting me? Don’t you know who I am? Then he scuttled away, rubbing his claw and crying, Mummy! Mummy! and he didn’t bother you again.

So, I can sting, you thought to yourself.

You were learning about being a jellyfish!

Then you started swimming. You didn’t know how you did it. Even though you didn’t have any arms or legs or fins or a tail, you just did it without thinking by squeezing and squishing and squidging and squashing your body, and what’s more, you could swim very well.

It seems I’m clever at some things—like stinging and swimming— even though I don’t have a brain, you thought to yourself, swimming with ease through the deep blue sea. But hang on a cotton-picking minute, you thought. If I don’t have a brain, how am I thinking these thoughts that I’m thinking about not having a brain?

Well, that was a good question, wasn’t it? But you didn’t have time to think of an answer because just then you saw a shark, and not just any old shark, either. This shark you saw was the exact same shark you saw when you saw it. It also happened to be the very same shark you saw when you happened to see it. I bet you can hardly believe that, can you? But it's true, so you lose that bet.

That shark came swimming up and looked at you the same way you look at a chocolate cookie, with a dreamy expression in his eyes and drool running down his chin.

Hmm, no bones in you,