Notes From The Pen

By Jacob A. Keiter

Jacoib Keiter entered federal prison on January 18th, 2018.  At first glance he thought his life was over, little did he know his life was finally beginning.  Throughout his incarceration he had one goal in mind, to grow into a better person than he ever though he could be.  In "Note From The Pen" Jacob explores a variety of topics throughout his incarceration, that allowed him to become the person he is today.  Articles include previously published material, as well as brand new exclusive material!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jacob A. Keiter
• Release date: Jan 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201129187

Jacob A. Keiter

Jacob Keiter is a columnist for a local newspaper as where he shares his experience with re-entry into society.  He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, cats, and rabbits. In his free time he plays Pokemon and is a pizza fanatic.

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The Arrest

My time in prison obviously starts with the day of my arrest.  To any and all who have faced the experience of an incarceration, getting arrested, or even just scolded for getting in trouble it can be a painful experience to welcome back into your mind after trying to erase and eliminate it and the feelings associated with it.  While I was skeptical about initially approaching the subject, I realized it was something I had to face in order to relieve myself of the pain and shame that transpired from the whole ordeal.

Originally published by The Sun on September 16th, 2020

For as long as mankind has existed, humans have made bad decisions.

Now, I didn’t grow up in a rough neighborhood or in a dysfunctional family, but I chose a life revolving around drugs and a criminal lifestyle. Every day I sacrificed my health, my mental state, the relationships in my life, and my freedom to chase the next high.

My drug of choice was methamphetamine, or better known as crystal meth. This poison allows you to stay up for days while your mind creeps to a stage of psychosis until you finally crash out. The side effects include poor motor skills, hallucinations, paranoia, and eventually prison.

I have never viewed myself as a bad person. I always just saw myself as someone who enjoyed having a good time. I never wanted to hurt anyone in anything I’ve ever done. If you were to accuse me of suffering from addiction five years ago, I’d be in complete denial of the whole thing. I can maintain a job, pay my bills, and I’ve never stolen from or hurt anyone to get my fix, I’d be quick to point out. What I’d fail to mention is I haven’t missed a day of using in months, and that every last penny to my name after my bills directly contributed to me getting high. I would also leave out that my daily dose has dramatically increased since day one.

The morning of March 5, 2017 is one that will forever be engraved in my mind. I made yet another bad decision. Instead of resting and relaxing before I had to be at work at 6 a.m. I chose to ride dirty around town with a few other fellas. When I say ride dirty I mean the vehicle was packed with heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine, marijuana, and firearms, but this wasn’t unusual. While driving down 422 from Hershey to Lebanon we were welcomed into the city by blaring sirens and flashing blue lights. Good evening gentlemen, you have a tail light out and your vehicle smells of marijuana, the officer said as he approached the vehicle. In an attempt to deter the officer from further searching the car we quickly surrendered the marijuana. The officer then escorted one of the passengers out of the vehicle and found drugs, a syringe, and a Beretta handgun. Oh boy. We were all immediately pulled from the vehicle while they conducted a full search and discovered everything else hidden inside.

We all ended up going to county jail, and thankfully this is the first time I have been able to detox in months. As I sat in a jail cell I began to reflect on the decisions I made that led to the situation at hand. After my mind was finally cleared from the drugs I was finally ready to let that lifestyle go. After a few week of sitting in a cell I was granted pretrial bail to attend a therapeutic community. Immediately after I completed the program I was indicted by the federal government. The collywobbles I felt were unbearable as I looked at what I was potentially facing. Words can not explain the feeling.

After returning to jail for a short period of time I was once again granted pre-trail bail to the custody of my now wife. These last few months were exactly what I needed to open my eyes. I now realized what was important in my life and I’m finally ready to make the right decision. I’m ready to say goodbye to the drugs, the parties, and everything else that comes with it. But I first must face some prison time.

The First Day

Sadly my first day in federal prison is forever embedded into my mind.  From the moment I woke up that morning, until I fell asleep that night.  Today I can look back and still see and feel every emotion that coursed through my body that day.  While none of the feelings are exactly welcoming, today I can look back upon it and see just how much I’ve grown since that day, and that I can survive even the scariest instances of life.

Originally published by The Sun on September 23rd, 2020

Having to self-surrender to prison was by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. To willingly walk into a prison and tell them, Hey, I guess I’m supposed to spend the next five years of my life here. Trust me, it’s not easy.

Prior to the day of my self-surrender, I was living the very best life I possibly could. I was finally sober and was given the opportunity to spend each and every day with the love of my life. The time we were granted together was exactly what we both needed to strengthen and build our relationship to a level that it would be able to withstand any hardship and life’s biggest challenges. We both knew one day it would come to the biggest test; the day I had to leave for prison.

My first opinion of what I thought prison would be like is probably similar to most people’s first thoughts. I immediately imagined scenes out of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. I imagined long dark corridors covered in filth and populated by some of the worst people in the world.

These thoughts petrified me.

But wait, isn’t Club Fed a thing? Don’t the federal prisons have golf courses and resemble a country club? Well, soon enough, I’ll find out exactly what I got myself into.

January 18, 2018, was the last time I woke up in bed next to my wife. It was the last time I rode in a car. It was the last time I ate at Olive Garden. It was the last time I saw the world from the other side of the fence.

As my wife drove me to the facility, we held hands the entire car ride, not wanting to let go of the present in fear of what the future may hold. The first thing we noticed was the razor wire fence surrounding the compound, but nothing is noticeable beyond that. After assuring me everything will be OK and a thousand kisses later, we had to finally say goodbye and I had to face this.

The intake process was a breeze; a brief interview followed by a psychological exam to ensure the safety of myself and others on the compound. Thankfully, I was not handcuffed at any time during this process. Soon after, I was on my way. I was handed an ID card and a bedroll consisting of: sheets, blankets, soap, toothpaste, and toilet paper; then escorted to my assigned housing unit.

Arriving to the housing unit immediately put me in a state of ambivalence. I was relieved it didn’t appear to be a dungeon, but still nervous of what’s to come. The design is open style consisting of cells along the walls, and an open area where inmates gather to watch TV or play cards together. For the most part, everyone seems to be getting along. After observing my new environment briefly, I headed straight to my new dorm, a nine man cell consisting of three three-high bunkbeds. Of course, being the new guy, I was on the top, with the ceiling only about six inches from my face when lying down. After a brief introduction, I made my bed and stayed to myself the rest of the night. With my stomach feeling uneasy, I skipped dinner that night and went to bed early.

Waking up the next morning still in that bunk was devastating to say the least. This wasn’t a dream, or rather a nightmare, but this was real life. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I broke down that first morning. But, my wife’s assurance that everything will be OK kept floating in my head.

Well, I made it through one night, right? I just need to make it through a thousand more and I’ll be good to go. This will definitely be an adjustment, but I will make it through this.

The Adjustment

Human nature has made adjustments and adaptations one of the most difficult things we are forced to endure each and every day.  We all have had to adapt to a situation or environment in one sense or another.  Adapting to prison is easier said than done, you have to completely strip your entire mindset and erase any past emotions to create a character fit for your new home.  It is possible but not desirable.

Originally published by The Sun on September 30th, 2020

Do you recall the feelings associated with starting a new job or attending a new school? I’m sure you were filled with anxiety, nervousness, and probably wanted to quit immediately. Feeling like the little fish in a big pond is never comfortable. Having to absorb your new environment, observe the individuals you’re now expected to co-exist with, and having to adjust to a new normal. That’s exactly what walking into prison was like, only you don’t get the option to quit.

When I first got to prison, I knew change was in my immediate future. Change that was in my control, while other change was very much out of my control. Regardless, change is never easy for anyone, but it doesn’t seem like I have a choice in the matter anyway.

I knew Saturday mornings wouldn’t be the same or I wouldn’t be able to expect a candle lit dinner with my wife anytime soon. What I wasn’t expecting was to be told when to stand up, when and what to eat, when to shower, and when to sleep. Now I’m not one to disrespect a direct order and to draw attention to myself. So I did what any sane person in my situation would do; fall in line and abide by everything expected of me.

Another thing