When Amish Girls Cry

By Monica Marks

Ruby has had enough. After once again butting heads with the town bishop, she runs away to the Englisch world. She fully expects her boyfriend Paul to come along but he changes his mind at the last minute....Years pass by and Paul remains on Ruby's mind. She decides to return to the Amish community and seeks to make amends for her behavior...But how have the years changed Paul? Will he forgive her for abandoning him?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trellis Publishing
• Release date: Jul 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201044381

Book preview

WHEN AMISH GIRLS CRY

MONICA MARKS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

WHEN AMISH GIRLS CRY

AMISH LOVEBIRDS

AMISH INNOCENCE

THE WEDDING SEASON

THE BABY BUGGY

PRIDE BEFORE THE FALL

AMISH LOVE’S FORGIVENESS

DEEP IN THE AMISH HEART

Ruby blinked against her tears furiously, her bare feet squishing in the mud as she made her way through the laneway, her heart pounding with anger.

The conversation she had just had with her father left her feeling helpless and unheard.

He speaks to me like I am a boppli when I am a grown woman of twenty. I will see what the bishop has to say about this. His views are not nearly as narrow as Daddi’s.

At her back, she heard hooves approaching and she moved to the side to allow the cart to pass but as it neared, the horse seemed to slow.

Ruby? Where are you going?

She turned to look up at Bishop Schmidt, her dark hair falling to the side in sodden clumps as the rain pelted against her head.

A rueful smile touched her lips, despite the ire in her blood.

I was coming to see you, she replied, chuckling. How fortunate I do not have to walk another mile to do so.

"Kumme, kinner. You must be frozen. You did not even bother with shoes."

In truth, Ruby had barely noticed the chill in the early spring air, her anger fuelling her just fine.

She climbed onto the cart beside the elder, her black hair dripping in streaks along the wooden bench and she tried hastily to stop her braid from puddling more.

Her white prayer bonnet was plastered to her crown.

What has you storming through the rain searching for me? the man asked, continuing along the path toward his home. Is everything all right? Is someone ill?

I need you to speak with my father, she said sternly. He is being unreasonable.

The bishop’s back seemed to tense as he listened, unspeaking as he waited for Ruby to finish her thought.

I have been offered a job in Arthur and the pay is wonderful.

A job? he echoed.

Yes, with a reputable company no less.

What is the job?

A receptionist for one of the wealthiest men in Arthur, Ruby gushed. His name is Hanson James and he owns half the town.

I know of Hanson James, the bishop replied and Ruby caught the ice in his voice. How did he come to offer you this position?

Ruby smiled at him, her blue eyes sparkling with glee.

He approached me at the honey stand over the weekend. He promised me many things which can help our family, she continued, her voice raising in her excitement.

But Paul disapproves.

"Daddi forgets that things are not the same as when he was young, Ruby complained. Many Amish women work outside the home to help with the expenses at home now. The cost of living has risen so much in recent time. The price of gas is terrible!"

And you know our way is not one dictated by wealth and materialism, he countered and Ruby’s eyes narrowed.

It is not about materialism, she replied defensively. It is about helping my family and our community. I am speaking about every day expenses, not thoroughbred horses and teak wagons.

That is very noble, Ruby but have you stopped to ask yourself why Hanson James has offered you such a job over someone more qualified or even an Englischer who has experience with the technology their world uses? Have you even seen a computer?

In the library! she retorted hotly, furious at his tone of voice.

He sounds just like Daddi!

A flare of ire shot down Ruby’s back.

He said he liked my demeanor, she replied hotly. Is that so hard to accept? Everyone must start somewhere, do they not? No one is born knowing how to use these appliances. They need to be taught. I did well enough in school. I am not so slow.

"No one said you were slow, Ruby but I do not think you are looking at things the way your vedder and I can see them."

How is that? With a closed mind?

The bishop said nothing but she saw his mouth purse into a fine line and she knew then that he was siding with her father on the matter.

"I believe your vedder knows what’s best for you, kinner. I am hardly one to go above his head and grant you this request while you are living under his roof. Whatever financial hardships your family is facing now will be overcome with Gotte’s will."

Ruby gritted her teeth, suddenly realizing the futility of her actions.

I should have known that he would agree with Daddi. I am so foolish.

Do not be upset, Ruby, Bishop Schmidt sighed, sensing her mounting frustration. "We only want what is best for you. You may not understand it now but there is a reason that our community is structured the way it is. Beyond our world is one which is very cruel and disheartening at times. Your vedder only wants to protect his family."

But Ruby heard nothing except the voice of yet another man deigning to control her.

The following afternoon, when she had finished the spring planting, Ruby slipped away from her family’s farm and took the cart into Arthur.

She knew there was work to be done inside the house but she had to break the news to Hanson James and she wanted to do it without her parents knowing she had gone.

I am certain Daddi will find a way to stop me from even declining the job but I refuse to look rude when Hanson has extended me such kindness.

Anger had kept her from sleeping the previous night and she had tossed and turned for hours, replaying the conversations she’d had with both her father and Bishop Schmidt.

They are fools, she thought bitterly and even though she knew she should not think that way, she could not bring herself to feel contrition for the notion.

I have been presented with an opportunity to have a career without sacrificing my standing in the community. It is not as if Hanson has asked me to leave the district or forsake my roots. How can they be so old-fashioned? This is only about controlling me, nothing else. Perhaps the Englisch do have the right idea in some respects. What Englisch woman would have this ridiculous conundrum?

Ruby! Hanson James cried when he saw her. What an unexpected and wonderful surprise!

She smiled timidly at him, her fair cheeks staining pink with embarrassment as he ushered her into his office.

His personal assistant eyed her suspiciously and Ruby wondered if she wasn’t meant to take over her job.

It doesn’t matter now. I cannot take the job anyway.

Please, sit down, he said cordially, holding out a chair for her and Ruby perched on the edge of it, clasping her hands nervously.

He is being so kind to me. And the bishop is right. I have no experience and he has no reason to hire me. Gotte sent him to me and I am turning my back on him.

Hanson took his seat and leaned forward to beam at her, his blue eyes twinkling happily.

Have you given any thought to my proposal? he asked, placing his wrinkled chin upon his weathered hands as if he was a small, excited boy.

Ruby nodded, shifting her eyes downward and wriggling uncomfortably in her seat.

I have, she replied slowly. And I would like nothing more than to accept the position –

Wonderful! he boomed before she could finish, his face brightening more and Ruby’s heart grew heavier. I will have Kathleen draw up your contract immediately!

Forgive me, Mr. James, but you misunderstand, Ruby choked, loathing that she needed to speak the next words.

He sat back, his snow-white hair catching in the track lighting above him.

Oh?

She swallowed and raised her eyes again, her face filled with shame.

I want nothing more than to take this job but my father and the bishop... she trailed off and shrugged. They forbid it.

An indecipherable expression flashed over Hanson’s face but before Ruby could fully comprehend the ugliness behind his watery blue eyes, a wry grin appeared.

Ah, he sighed. I should have known that getting someone as rare and lovely as you under my employ was a long shot. Of course they don’t want to let you go and who can blame them?

Ruby felt a flush of warmth radiate through her body.

I hope you understand, she rushed to explain. That I would like nothing more than to work for you.

He nodded wisely.

I do. I wish that your father and the bishop could see your worth the way I do, he replied sadly.

The words spark of anger through Ruby’s gut.

Me too, she murmured, rising. But I fear that as long as I live under my father’s roof, I am obliged to follow his rules.

Indeed, Hanson muttered, studying her face pensively. But what if there was another way...?

Ruby paused and stared at him, her heart beginning to race with expectation.

What do you mean?

He shrugged nonchalantly.

Oh, I am just thinking off the top my head but I would hate to lose you. I can see you possess a very special quality which I am sure would be excellent for office morale. If you really want to work for me, I might have an opening in another office.

Another office? Ruby echoed, sinking back into her chair. Where?

Well, that’s the thing, he drawled slowly. It’s in Indianapolis.

Ruby’s mouth dropped open and she instinctively shook her head, her mind whirling with the prospect of everything she would be leaving behind if she should agree.

My family, the community and of course, Lamar! He is asking too much of me.

Hanson smiled sadly.

I didn’t think so. I had only hoped...

She stared at him, waiting for him to finish.

Hoped?

Well, when I first saw you, I was sure you were a woman who could make her own decisions but I should have known that your upbringing would have kept you in place. I understand...I mean as much as someone in my position can. But I wish you all the best, dear.

I can make my own decisions! Ruby claimed hotly. But moving to Indianapolis where I know no one, have nowhere to live –

Oh, of course I would arrange an apartment for you and you’ll meet lots of people in my offices there.

Ruby’s vehemence was beginning to lessen as his words filled her head.

People leave the community, she reasoned. They leave without any plan or any future. And if Daddi does not want my help financially, I can build my own life without him too. Hanson James is offering me an opportunity I would be foolish to refuse.

Ruby? he asked. What do you think?

Her mind immediately turned to her boyfriend.

They had plans to be married, even though they had not officially announced their engagement yet.

Lamar will come with me, she thought confidently. I will not be alone. We will start our lives together and it will be an adventure for both of us.

She nodded and beamed.

Yes, she replied, jumping up from her chair, her skirts swirling at her ankles. I think yes!

She tossed yet another stone at the window, watching it as it bounced off the glass harmlessly and sighed.

How can he possibly sleep through that? She wondered with exasperation but as she picked up another pebble, his head appeared in the window.

"Ruby! It is after midnight! What in Gotte’s name are you doing here?" Lamar hissed, rising the window so she could hear his irritated words.

She waved him down urgently, looking into the field behind her to see if anyone had witnessed her bold move to the Albrecht farm but of course the district was sound asleep, readying themselves for planting the following morning.

Are you all right? Lamar demanded, unmoving from the window.

"Hurry and kumme! she growled into the night. We do not have much time."

Lamar shut the glass and disappeared, leaving Ruby shifting her weight from one foot to another as she waited for him to meet her.

It had taken her pelting seven stones at the pane before he had heard her and for a moment, she was afraid that she was going to miss her chance.

She didn’t want to go without him but she didn’t want to ruin her plan either.

For three days she had plotted her departure from the community, packing a trunk in secret, checking the train schedule in Arthur for the most discrete time to leave for Indianapolis.

Her boyfriend of six months appeared at the back entrance of the house, his blonde hair dishevelled as he stared at her with concerned brown eyes.

Ruby, what is it? Where is your prayer bonnet?

She beamed at him and grabbed his hands, ignoring his question.

He’ll understand in a minute, she thought excitedly.

Remember how I told you I had a surprise for us? she whispered, her eyes shining.

"Ja...?"

Well we are leaving tonight. Go pack quickly. Our train comes at four o’clock.

Lamar stared at her uncomprehendingly.

Leaving for where? he asked, rubbing his eyes in confusion. What are you talking about?

I have a job waiting for me in Indianapolis and an apartment, she replied quickly, squeezing his palms. The money is good and we –

Have you taken leave of your senses?

Ruby was taken aback by his tone.

It is a good opportunity, she insisted. We can marry in the city.

And what about our families? What about the church? he snapped, withdrawing his hands from hers. Why would you agree to such a thing, Ruby? What were you thinking?

Ruby’s mouth parted but no words escaped.

It had not occurred to her that Lamar would not join her. They had spoken about announcing their engagement in the fall.

Surely, he would want her to be happy, to follow such an experience.

And yet, he stared at her as if she had sprouted a second head, his eyes filled with disbelief.

You will not come with me? she breathed, her face twisting in shock.

Of course not! How could you think I would agree to that? I was baptized last autumn! I would never be welcomed back!

Why would you want to come back? she demanded, a now familiar anger surging through her. What do you need here other than me?

He looked at her as if he had never seen her before, backing into the house, shaking his head.

Go home, Ruby, he growled. You and I will discuss this madness in the morning.

He shut the door on her face and Ruby stood, trembling with humiliation.

Another one, trying to decide my future, she thought, spinning away toward the horse which waited for her.

She had left a note for her father to find the equine at the train station in the morning but by then she would be on her way to Indianapolis to start her new life.

All the men in my life are trying to hold me back, she thought furiously. All but Hanson James. He is the only one who understands me.

A stack of files landed on her desk so hard, the other papers flittered to the floor.

God, you’re so slow, Brianna complained, glancing at the other pile with disgust. How did you even get this job?

Ruby swallowed her embarrassment and leaned down to pick up the fallen sheets, ignoring the sharp-tongued COO.

After all, Brianna was technically Ruby’s direct boss and while Hanson had assured her that the woman was hard on everyone, Ruby felt that the brunt of her nasty disposition landed squarely on her slender shoulders.

This has to be done tonight, Ruby. I shouldn’t have to tell you this after six months, she barked, spinning to leave the secretary alone and drowning in paperwork.

I am never going to get this done, she thought mournfully. She was at least three days behind in the data entry and with the new pile, Ruby was sure she was going to be working all weekend to get caught up again.

She blinked back the tears of frustration in her eyes, willing herself not to cry.

Everyone already looks at me like I am an oddity around here.

No matter how much she tried to dress or act like the other women in the office, her Amish roots seemed predominant.

Her grasp of computers and typing were not getting better and Ruby suspected