The Famous ME

By Gualberto Sales

A real funny king, humorous, debauched, crazy, artist,he is still engrossed in funny and hot stories with partners he encounters on his journey, duties and commitments of royalty. In these intrusions, everything can happen, such as a simple meeting with a female friend to the possibility of involvement more intimate, always with amazing good mood and hilarious conversations on various subjects such as relationships, entertainment, celebrities, politics, religion. You will feel guilty after laughing out loud so hard.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bibliomundi
• Release date: Mar 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781526000989

Book preview

Go home would be the best option for Mr. Wannabewolf. His approach was way too wake and 'da' girl gets out before. He stands next to the stage. After releasing Mrs. Bartenderness, I see a girl next to me, hot dress up. She gives a f… about her skirtless situation, when asks me, singing "Why you gotta be so rude? 'cos' strong grabbing.

Mrs. Aboutskirtless is involved and grabbing hardly. Actually, Mrs. SkirtUp, twisting herself. I offer a drink, with my deep voice. Mrs. SkirtUp accepts, asking me about the strength at intro, input. I say:

- Big deal!

By the way, her voice is not deep, reason to go ahead, relieved. Starting to prepare the cocktail. it is necessary time to create this powerful drink. It is essential to warm up the Mrs. SkirtUp and her glass coupé.

She asks me to help to handle my own shaker.

- No problem.

- Titanium.

- You are right. Warm much dark titanium.

Warming up toghether, Mrs. SkirtUp´s glass coupé. Unbroken crystal. Now wet, warm. Although already on point, amazingly enjoying way too to go much better.

After warm up, Mrs. SkirtUp needs to place her glass to receive pouring drink from my warm dark shaker, after about one hour of shake and grab over one hour placing her fine glass coupé, pouring for many times, finally Mrs. SkirtUp asks me (with her eyes) the large portion from my shaker… BOOOOOMVVVRRRROOOOOMMMM!!!.

- Do take it, Mrs. SkirtUp - I said, pouring generously ‑ Mrs. SkirtUp?

- Huh?. After about 5 minutes of hot thirsty pleasant taste, she says:

- I am hungry!

- Do order, sweetheart… this is an unique cocktail. Its tasteful, timing, strength, texture, colors fit in with apples, pears, peachs, strawberries, and ALLEVERYberries.

While Mrs. SkirtUp tastes delicious food from Mrs. Bartenderness, she offers to me her swollen lips up, and swollen lips down.

So, she looks at up, singing A Sky Full Of Stars, by Coldplay, mixed with Counting Stars, by One Republic, after tasting sumo juice from my shaker, named Inadam.

In Portuguese, Inadâmio; in German, Inadamschsteiger; in Spanish, Inadamón; in Italian, Inadamini; in French, Inadamaulle; in Greek, Inadamellaspoulos; Inadamic, in countries from ex-Yugoslavia; in Dutch, Van Inadamberg; in Russian, Inadamov; in Chinese, Inadamyuchun; in Japanese, Inadamakato; in Ireland, Inadam to McListyn; in Swedish, Inadamson; in Finland, Inadämkinen; in Hebrew, Inadamah Goben; in Arab, Al Inadam; in Tupi-Guarani, Itainadam; in Romaniam; Inadamisescu; In India, Inadamprashila; in Czech Republic, Inadamovsky; in Britain, Lordinadam.

Mrs.SkirtUp named her first pouring #delish1; after that, #delish2; #delish3; in 7th, Mmmmmm; her 12nd, #hotttt; after 17th, #IhateyouMmmmStopDon´tstopStupidArrogaaantCuteWoooowForgetmeCallmetonightWoooowwwPffffffWooooooowwwwwIhateuIloveuWoooooowwwwww".

With my deep voice and hot grabbing, smiling, I invite Mrs. SkirtUp to the pool. She nods, amazed, sweet, and bitter, being pet for a while. While walking firmly with Mrs. SkirtUp to the rooftop, kindly and strongly, I invite Mrs. Bartenderness to join us when hour off. At the same time, while going to the roof top with Mrs. SkirtUp, with gestures and smiles, I invite Mrs. InLine1, Mrs. InLine2, and Mrs. InLine3. I say: You are.

Fascinated, Mrs. SkirtUp sings sweetly and way too cute Hard Out Here, by Lily Allen. By the way, there are millions of views on Vevo. I say anything to change her life, to this independent woman, kind of too assertive: You are. She says:

- Seriously? I needed this so bad. So, I suppose we must have more drink, foods, and pool. Yes, I am.

While food and drink have been delivering in da pool, Mrs. InLine1, Mrs. InLine2, and Mrs. InLine3, way too Gucci and Versace, dance. After much fun in 'da' pool, Mrs. SkirtUp notices helium ballons. She gets out of da pool, aim high one balloon, sings Air Balloon, by Lily Allen.

- Bravoooo, Mrs. SkirtUp! She is turnt, too stimulated, and sings more loudly, at finest.

So, Mrs. SkirtUp was kind of amused. Meanwhile, I point to Mrs. InLine1, Mrs. InLine2, and Mrs. InLine3, ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!. While I was talking to Mrs. InLine1 and 3, with deep voice, Mrs. InLine2 was showing me her skills at deep diving, breathing , and throating.

Watching out real fun of Mrs. InLine2, the GALS started diving in da pool. JEALOUS!, yelled sweetly the lucky girl. They said: Yaaaasssss!… Rumble!. What a deep way to play with divings, breathings and throatings. Deeper than fool thoughts and much more than the reaching of a tongue. Rare thing to find out great skills in conjunction with the 3 GALS in lovable circumstances. Breathing, diving, and throating" are big deals.

Now, with the four girls totally amused, I said: Baeeeeeeee!… many times. I was being kindly loved for the hotness, giving fire back. Tired, now the four GALS sat down at borderline of da pool, legs out of da pool, offering great prizes, high trades. Tongue, arms and hands in action. The four reigns in the middle do not offer obstacles, but inconvenient moves can cause mistakes.

Nope, mission accomplished… occupation is done. GALS 1, 2, and 3, with Mrs. SkirtUp, in amazing state of mind, four girls right now, for fun. Mrs. SkirtUp, with awareness, but younger, says loud:

- YOU ARE!

Mrs. SkirtUp, consistently full of awareness, asks me about the main goal in the life. At the same time, the pool becames icy, cos cold talking. It is needed hotness. I reply:

- I only have a way, Mrs. SkirtUp, and YOU know, YOU know, but YOU need to ask me.I, wondering, no grave statements. For me, this is the way too to go faithful.

Another girls simply playing in the rooftop, full of refreshment, after drinking, pouring on each glass coupé for many times from my shaker.

It is 2am, the girls sleep, candidly, exhausted, near to da pool. My phone rings I am a boss ass, Bitc…!. I act naturally, Up, look at da girls, mainly Mrs. Pet. Mr. Bruh is calling me, asking me to go to da club, cos in trouble again. I always walk pointing to the GALS, often aiming at the GALS cos I enjoy seeing the way how they react to this cute and strong gesture.

I gonna go to da club. There is a riot near to the stage again, three girls, nervously, but politely, claim to bro to stop derising about 1D. They were former fans of this boy band. They said loud: I´M CRYING, right?. They were crying literally, accusing Mr. Bruh for hurting their feelings. According to girls, he was derisingly singing Story Of My Life, dancing with sensuality, with no feelings, derisingly.

The leader approachs to the bro and says STORY OF OUR (FANS) LIVES, OK?. They, with energy and initiative, create #1D<34ever… outcome about 1.000.000 tweets/min, higher than WorldCup and SuperBowl, absolute record. Ah, Mr. Bruh, fans all over the world send millions of tweets, because fans of 1D only love, not hate! That is only defense of their feelings!.

Bro is scared, yelling:

- Maaaaannnnn!

Mr. Bruh was acting like double agent, with dumb idea of investigation of feelings of fans to hate. Hard to keep his undercover identity. Mr. Bruh made a great mistake. First of all, democracy rules in da club; second, there was not source of threat; third, he was identified. A bad spy. Diplomatic gestures done, I say:

- Maaaannnnn! - I say - two riots in less than 24 hours. - You act like anti-Jack Bauer. Gonna go, bro".

After solving the impasse among Mr. Bruh and former directioners, Mr. Bruh and ME go to to the bar. I walk focused on solutions, singing Under Control, by Calvin Harris. Directioners stay enjoying, singing loudly near to the stage You And I, by 1D, obviously. Mr. Bruh takes a deep breath while hearing it.

- Whadup, bro? Calm down!

At the bar, Mr. Bruh drinks juice. We start to talk about democracy and its advantages over any forms of government in advanced societies. Finished this subject, I start to talk to Mrs. Bartenderness, giving more $500.00 to hunnas, singing dope I Got My Eyes On You. So, I notice Mrs. Bartenderness swolling lips.

With energy, I say:

- Allergy?

- Nope, fool! It is a new lipstick for you!

So, I clear away the excess over her mouth.

Mrs. Bartenderness moves her shoulders up, smiling. She closes her eyes, whispering. Her lips are wet, popping.

- No allergies, sure? - Staring at Mrs. Bartenderness, moving ice (rocks) in my scotch.

She way crushs on me, hard lipbite. I order: a drink, please, her own way, with her taste.

- Go on, GAL, but do not hurry UP! I wait for every single delicious drop.

- Mmmmmmm!

- Hold on! I gonna go to the bathroom.

Before going to the bathroom, I hear Mrs. Bruh to tell one woman that he got advanced techniques in security and training to manage crisis. According to Mr. Bruh, he adopts cool habits as going to the bathroom at a bar, crawling like a snake to camouflage and to get enemies scared.

Mr. Bruh says:

- Another cool way is to troll the girls at bathroom as Knock! Knock!… Who´s there?… Badass… My ass?… Yas!

- Ah, Bruh!

Another tip by Mr. Bruh is to avoid standing at firing line.

- Maaaaannn! Daaammmnn it! Ohhh, Mr. BlasterOne!

Mrs. Bartenderness is in delirious state of hotness, preparing her personal drink. There are some main hot tips: with the fingers soft or hard or I drinking directly from her fountain, with glass coupé stupdly hot, wet, and tender; and, finally, both. There is handful, and so on.

- HOT, Mrs. Bartenderness!

- Mmmmm!!

- Can I help you?.

- Yaaaassss! Totally yaaaasssss! Of course! With my hands or mouth?

- Holy shit! So good! I am seeing stars, catching up diamonds in Uranus and Neptunes with every single drop … op… p…p…

- I understand you, Mrs. Bombshell wih whey protein. Every girl says this same shit. Hold on! I will be back, sweetheart. For now Work, Bitch, by Britney Spears.

- Why are you messy, huh, fool?

I say confidently, strongly:

- This is my business, honey. It is not about money, it is about stocks and ROI!

She says, freaking out again:

- I do not even know… daaaammmmnnnn! I only know I am way too goose gumps on the skin of my necks!

So, she sings Stay With Me, by Sam Smith.

- Hold on, girl! - Pressing her lips - I gonna go to the bathroom again, cover your nose! Nowadays, girls are so freaking out… afff… lol… this is a good shit.

I keep going to the bathroom, confidently, focused on great goals with Mrs. Bartenderness. At the same time, I walk aiming at da girsls in the floor Gucci. I have brilliant idea to troll at bathroom of da girls, inspired by Mr. Bruh: Knock! Knock! … Who´s there? … Mr. T… Mr. D? … G!!! They adore, smiling and laughint out loud at the bathroom.

- My reign for relieving - I think at the bathroom.

Peeing done, lost reign, but I got relieved. Sun Tzu nor Shakespeare Versace did not know this. At the same time, think of Mrs. Bartenderness, her character and measures…1.000 pounds at back, Queen of t Swag.

Already at the bar, I ask Mrs. BombShellTexacoExxon another drink. She fits her glass coupé more firmly and pours faster in my scotch. After drinking one more cocktail from the hottest fountain of Mrs. Bombshell, I handle wisely my phone to call Mrs. SkirtUp.

Mrs. SkirtUp receives immediately my call, smoothy, near to the pool.

- Whadap, girl?

- Mmmmm! Fine!

- Are you hungry and thirsty, girl?

- Mmmmmm… Yaaa… aaa…ssss!!

- How about Mrs. InLine 1, 2, 3?

- Mmmmmm! Also so hungry and thirsty!

- How are you dressed up?

- Skirt UP with bra, bro; Mrs. 1 and 2 with bra; 3, without bra, bro.

- Mrs. 3, with no bar… burnt?

So, I order: Lobstas, crabbas, and champagnas for Mrs. skirtUp, InLine 1, and 2, hunnas, and 1 veganas and champagnas for Mrs. 3, hunnas. Meanwhile, I am going to the bathroom again, pouringly, while singing … Let it go, can´t hold it back anymore… shhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuaaaa!.

I get out of bathroom. At the hallway, two girls 18+ ask me inspections.

- How about security?

- They are innocuous, just sleep. We need more action. They take one wip out of one handbag and say:

- Punish us for the entrance… here… this way.

I pull the two girls against the wall, with no inspection. Punishment and delivery the wip, with the lips of down popping.

- Punish and hurt us, please. Hurt me with good will. Inspire us! - They claim.

- Good willl is my name! You need to open with big angle, and keep this position with perserverance. It is relevant! Do not whisper! You two have to shut up, keep silent and in the firm position. There is necessity to twist and move your hips to result. Now, open in higher angle. You two have to obey me. So, shut up and move around the hips! With will, c´mon! You two, higher and opener angle. Strong, but caring ten whippings in each other. Do not whisper! Pulling hair and hurt hips are good acts! Do not deserve more punishment!

I abandon the two girls, wet and rejoiced on the ground. They thank me, finally.

After abandoning the two, I make hard decision to go back to da pool! But before, going to mess around with da party. On the stage, I meet DJ Turndown. I say:

- OMG! Hahaha!

I know I must turn up again. Everyone sleeps. Chicks, fandoms, ratches, and, obviously, thots. I pass a destroyer set list on to DJ to save da party.

- C´mon, c´mon. Chicks, fandoms, thots, ratchets already sleeping at 2am. Eaaaarlllyyyy! Warm up, please! Lights are ready. (pause)

Ratches wake up, thots walking that way, with legs with no gap, and small pace. Chicks in lipbite mode, very hardly. I seriously and strongly drop da beat harder and faster Under Control again!

Dats girls say, freaking out:

- OMG! Haha … this is so us!

- Girls, c´mon! For now, only twitter, please!

- OOOOOMMMMMGGGG!

DJ thanks me.

- Son, do not be DJ Turndown, be DJ Turnt.

- Tomorrowland?

- Tomorrowland, Futureland, club, Dadaland, pool, whatever, son. Mission accomplished. Everyone turnt, setlist on point. This is my business.

Going to da pool, I walk aiming at dat girls. Girls say:

- OMG! Flawless!

- For now, only Twitter, please! Focus on!

- Deeeaaaaddd!

So, I finally arrive at da pool again. I see Mrs. InLine 1, 2, and 3 in stand up position, moving fiercely their hips, twerking. Tutz