The Politically Incorrect Dictionary

By Annette Siketa

Do you feel like a firkytoodle? Had a good picckethank lately? Are you a pinking-dandy? Packed with anecdotes and information, this dictionary is a must for anyone who loves trivia.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Annette Siketa
• Release date: Nov 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005311568

Annette Siketa

For those of you who have not yet made my acquaintance, my name is Annette Siketa, and I am totally blind. Were you aware that most blind and visually impaired people are extraordinarily perceptive? To sighted people, this ability must seem like ESP, and I suppose to a certain extent, it is. (I'm referring to the literal meaning of Extra Sensory Perception, not the spooky interpretation.) To compensate for the lack of vision, the brain and the other four senses become sharper, so that we can discern a smell or the identity of an object. I promise you there's no trickery involved. It's simply a matter of adapting the body to ‘think’ in another way.Being blind is no barrier to creativity. Like most things in this world, life is what you make of it, and after losing my sight due to an eye operation that went terribly wrong, I became a writer, and have now produced a wide variety of books and short stories, primarily of the ghost/supernatural/things that go bump in the night genre.So, how does a blind person write a book? On the practical side, I use a text-to-speech program called ‘Jaws’, which enables me to use and navigate around a computer, including the Internet, with considerable ease. Information on Jaws can be found at www.freedomscientific.comOn the creative side...well, that’s a little more difficult to explain. Try this experiment. Put on your favourite movie and watch it blindfolded. As you already ‘know’ the movie – who does what where & when etc, your mind compensates for the lack of visualisation by filling in the ‘blanks’. Now try it with something you’ve never seen before, even the six o'clock news. Not so easy to fill in the blanks now is it?By this point you’re probably going bonkers with frustration – hee hee, welcome to my world! Do not remove the blindfold. Instead, allow your imagination to compensate for the lack of visualization, and this will give you an idea of how I create my stories. Oh, if only Steven Spielberg could read my mind.

Book preview

THE POLITICALLY INCORRECT DICTIONARY.

By Annette Siketa

All ridiculous words make their first entry into a language by familiar phrases. I dare not answer for these that they will not in time be looked upon as a part of our tongue. The SPECTATOR Magazine, C. 1860.

Copyright © 2021 Annette Siketa.

No part of this book may be manipulated, transmitted, or altered by any method or manner whatsoever. All rights reserved. Please respect the authors’ rights. Only through honesty can the insidious practice of illegal copying be curbed.

Distributed by Smashwords.

Contents.

Author’s Note.

A B C D E F G H I J K L

M N O P Q R S T U – V W Y – Z

Expressions.

Oddities.

Evasive Answers.

Acknowledgement.

Free Story!

Other Books & Freebies.

Author’s Note.

I have no doubt that some readers will find some of the listings in this dictionary, offensive, and while I regret any discomfort this might cause, neither I nor anyone else has the right to censor history. Therefore, no listing comes with an apology.

Readers should bear the following points in mind:

• Words such as ‘bastard’, ‘gay’, and ‘queer’, are used in their original context.

• Unless specified otherwise, all places are located in England.

• Some quoted text could not be verified due to the passage of time. In these instances, the text is quoted exactly as it appears in the source material.

• Where a word has evolved into different meanings, the oldest known meaning is usually given first.

• As a general rule, some old, misspelt, and hyphenated words have been edited to modern standards. However, some archaic spelling has been retained for its ‘quaintness’.

• ‘Coster’ is short for costermonger. By the middle of the 19th century, over 40,000 costermongers roamed the streets of London, and like most trades & professions, they developed a language of their own, sometimes by the simple expediency of pronouncing a word backwards.

A

Abaxial: (1) off centre. (2) eccentric.

Abditory: a hidden or secret place.

Abel-Wackets: blows given on the palm of the hand with a stone knotted in a handkerchief.

Abigail: a common, lower class maid. Possibly derived from Abigail Hill, who was a lady-in-waiting to Queen Anne, and who indulged in many sluttish intrigues.

Ablute: to cleanse, usually in relation to hygiene.

Abraham: a male vagabond. The term comes from the Abraham ward in Bethlehem Hospital, (asylum), where it was the practice to allow the less dangerous and insane inmates to go out and raise money for the asylum. Impostors were known as ‘sham Abraham’, the practise and name spawning a multitude of derivatives.

Abram: naked.

Abreaction: the purging of emotional tension.

Absquatulate: to run away or abscond.

Academy: (1) a brothel. (2) a prison.

Acarpous: sterile, fruitless, unproductive.

Acedia: apathy in the practise of virtue. Disinterest in matters intellectual, spiritual, and physical.

Ace of Spades: a widow.

Ackruffs: river or water pirates.

Acres: a coward. Derived from the character Bob Acres in Richard Sheridan’s 1775 comedy play, ‘The Rivals’.

Acroamatical: literally, whispering. Divulged only to one person in private.

Acromegalic: abnormal enlargement of a body part or organ. Also known as 'hypertrophia'.

Acteon: a cuckold. From the horns planted on the head of Acteon by Diana.

Active Citizen: body lice.

Adam Tiler (American): a fencer of stolen goods.

Adam’s Ale: water.

Addlepate: foolish, slow-witted. Possibly the origin of the term ‘addled’, as in, ‘His brains are addled’.

Addle Plot: a spoilsport.

Adfenestrate: to sneak through a window.

Adscititious: supplemental. It's adscititious rather than an inherent taste.

Affidavit Man: a false witness who will swear anything to a judge or other official for a price.

Affygraphy: a good match, a perfect fit.

After Clap: a disagreeable event that occurs after a cause or circumstance was thought to have ended. Modern: aftermath.

Afternoon Farmer: a person who procrastinates till the last moment.

Agelast: someone who never laughs. Sometimes spelt 'agilest'.

Aggerawators: locks of hair twisted at the temples and then pushed behind the ears. Also known as a Newgate Knocker.

Agnatic: related on the fathers side. He might have been a better man had he not lacked an agnatic influence.

Agogare: anxious, eager, impatient.

Agon (Greek): a festival that includes competitions & games.

Agonal: a tale of suffering or death, or the death itself.

Aithochrous: reddish brown, ruddy.

Akeybo: a fictitious person used in a comparative sense, as in, He beats akeybo.

Alamort (American): confounded, struck dumb, unable to say or do anything.

Albertopolis: a facetious term to describe affluent suburbs such as Kensington and Belgravia.

Albescent: whitened, faded, bleached.

Albonised (American): whitened.

Alderman: a roasted turkey garnished with sausages, the latter representing the gold chain worn by this official.

Aldermanic: a person with the qualities of an alderman - stately, dignified.

A Lead: a gathering for the purpose of assisting a friend in trouble. In this instance, the ‘trouble’ is related to the law. For example, the friend needs money to pay for a lawyer, or perhaps he’s just come out of jail and needs a ‘leg up’.

Aleatoric: subject to the roll of the dice. Chance, random.

Ale Draper: the landlord of a public house.

Alfear: a fear of elves.

Algo: a pain.

All a Mort: struck dumb, confounded.

Allelomorph: objects with a different shape or form that do the same thing, such as a bicycle and a motorbike.

All Nations: the dregs of beer and spirits poured into a bottle and then drunk or sold.

Allotropy: an alternative way or means, as in, looking at the same problem from two different angles.

Alls: dregs of beer or other alcohol, all put in the same glass.

Altemal (American): all in a heap, the sum total. The altemal is that I’m flat broke.

Altilioquent: lofty or superior in speech.

Amain: a great effort, exertion.

Amaranthine: something unfading, usually in relation to love.

Amaurotic: something obvious but unnoticed, as in, I should have seen that coming.

Ambage: a style of indirect speech.

Ambassador of Morocco: a shoemaker.

Ambidexter (American): one who sees both sides of an argument.

Ambisinistrous: clumsy, maladroit. The opposite of 'ambidextrous'.

Ambit: atmosphere, ambience.

Ambsace: (1) bad luck, misfortune. (2) figuratively hypnotised, as if by a snakes stare.

Amen-Curler: a parish clerk.

Amerace (American): staying in close proximity. Be within calling distance.

American Tweezers: an instrument used by a thief to grab the end of a key in the lock on the other side of a locked door.

Amanda: derogatory name for a Quaker.

Amphiclexis: an embracing, rousing speech.

Amuser: a method of robbery. A thief carries snuff or dust in his pocket, which he throws into the eyes of a victim and then runs away. The accomplices pretend to assist the half-blind person, whilst at the same time stealing anything of value.

Anabaptist: a pickpocket caught in the act.

Anableptic: perceive, recognize, or understand at a single glance. From a species of fish whose eyes can act independently. Thus, it can see above and below water at the same time.

Anagnoresis: the approaching crux or denouement of a matter.

Anchor: sit down, as in, anchor yourself to a chair.

Anchylosis: the stiffening of a limb or an object at an angle, thus rendering it difficult to move or bend.

Androcrat: a misogynist, one who believes in the supremacy of the male.

Anfractuous: crooked, twisted, sinuous. Full of twists & turns.

Anglers: thieves who use a device like a fishing rod to steal from open windows.

Angling for Farthings: begging out of a prison window with a cap or box at the end of a long piece of string.

Anhelate: panting, puffing, short of breath.

Annuated: slightly aged, as opposed to, 'superannuated'.

Annulus: the dark area beyond the illumination cast by a single light.

Anodynic: able to endure pain or discomfort for an advantage, such as wearing new, tight fitting shoes to a job interview.

Anonyma: a woman of the nobility whose indiscreet or promiscuous behaviour has damaged her reputation.

Anorchid: literally, without testicles. Metaphor for ‘without courage’ or ‘cowardly’.

An’t: abbreviation of ‘am not’.

Antinomian: (1) wild, reckless. (2) someone who refuses to accept moral laws or authority.

Antinomy: a paradox. A contradiction or conflict between two true statements. The irony of marriage and parenthood, is that while it has no effect on the universe, it can bring about a prolific change in one's attitude.

Antiscriptural: oaths or foul language aimed at the church.

Antiverbality: a disinclination to talk. Non-communicative in speech.

Ape-Leader: an old maid.

Apical: a tip, point, or apex, such as the top of a spire.

Apodictic: to repeat an assertion or opinion so often that it becomes established as true.

Apodosis: a conclusion based on uncertainty. If only we knew what was happening, we could…

Aporia: perplexity, dubiety.

Aposematic: warning away, such as holding up a hand as a signal not to approach.

Aposiopesis: a sudden stopping of speech. An abrupt ending.

Apotropaic: literally, having the power, intuition, or foresight to prevent evil or bad luck. Quick! Hide that cake. The teacher’s coming!

Apples & Pears: rhyming slang for ‘stairs’.

Apple Pie Bed: a trick whereby the top sheet is folded in half towards the pillow. Thus when the victim climbs in, the legs can’t go any further than the fold.

Apron String Hold: an estate administered by a husband, but which is really owned by his wife.

Apterous: wingless. She was dressed like some mythological, apterous bird.

Apteryx: a nocturnal flightless bird native to New Zealand, with a long neck and stout legs, but in this instance, used in a comparison sense. The apteryx waiter, in his stiff black & white uniform, made sure we paid the bill.

Arch Duke: a comical or eccentric man. Female: Arch Duchess.

Archesporial: imitation, a copycat. From the biological term for the original spore that generates other spores.

Arch-Gonnoff (American): the chief or head of a gang of thieves.

Ard: hot, usually in relation to stolen property.

Area Sneak: someone who always steals from a particular area of a house, such as a kitchen or cellar.

Argol-Bargol (Scottish): to argue or bandy words.

Armscye: armholes in clothing.

Article: derisive term for a weak, insignificant, or stupid person. No wonder his car was stolen. The silly article left his keys in the ignition.

Asperse: to sprinkle, usually with water.

Assay: proceed, go ahead, try it.

Astrive: forcibly, energetically.

Asymptotic: very close but not quite meeting or touching.

Atomy: diminutive or deformed, usually in relation to a person.

Atramental: inky black, such as an unlit room with no windows.

Atrocify: to deliberately spoil enjoyment. To perform a deed that would render a situation unpalatable or uncomfortable.

Attic (Pugilistic): the head. His attic’s empty.

Attic Salt: dry wit or humour.

Audaculous: slightly bald.

Audit Ale: consuming a strong drink due to the strain of a financial matter. Give me a double whiskey. The bank manager is currently considering my loan application.

Auld Reekie: dingy in appearance.

Aunt Sally: a game once popular at racecourses and fairs. The game consists of a woodenhead mounted on a stick. The nose is a tobacco pipe, and standing at a pre-defined distance, the object is to demolish the pipe with three batons. The length of the baton depends on the operator, but the average is about sixteen inches.

Aureate: golden or gold coloured.

Auricome: golden haired.

Auriferous: gold bearing or gold producing.

Auscultate: to listen to the internal sounds of a body, usually with a stethoscope.

Autochthonic: (1) native, indigenous. (2) primeval or primitive.

Autofructiferous: self-generating or producing.

Autoptic: self-obvious. I would have thought that all the mold on the cheese would have told you it was off.

Autumn-Mort: a female mendicant who begs with a number of children, (borrowing from others if she has not enough of her own), to elicit charity. Methods to invoke sympathy included drugging, pinching and the use of pins to induce crying, and the affixing of fake sores and wounds to limbs.

Avast: stop, shut up, go away. Possibly nautical in origin, or derived from the Italian ‘basta’ – hold, enough.

Avulsion: a tearing away, a sudden separation. Get out of this house!

Axe: to ask. I axed her if she was okay. From the Saxon ‘acsian’.

B

Bachelor’s Fare: bread and cheese and kisses.

Back-Hander: (1) a slap across the face with the back of the hand. (2) a bribe. (3) in a social setting such as a dinner party, drinking a second glass of wine before everyone else has finished their first.

Back-Jump: a rear or kitchen window.

Back Slang It: to sneak out a back door.

Bacon-Fed: a fat, greasy-faced person.

Bad Egg: untrustworthy, dubious, usually in relation to character.

Badger: tease, cajole, annoy. I badgered him till he gave in.

Badgers: a gang of thieves who rob near a river, throwing the victim in afterwards.

Bad Lot: a term derived from auctioneering and similar to ‘bad egg’.

Baffaty: originally, a term used in the drapery trade referring to calico. Later, anything plain and rough.

Bagman: originally, a commercial traveller. Later, a ‘go-between’, usually in relation to crime.

Bags: trousers. ‘Howling bags’ - trousers with a ‘loud’ or exaggerated pattern. Possibly a corruption of ‘bum bags’.

Baker’s Dozen: thirteen. When supplying retailers with a dozen loaves, bakers threw in a thirteenth lest one of the others be underweight, for which they could be fined.

Baksheesh (India): money.

Balaam: over exaggerated. Originally, a newspaper term referring to uninteresting or banal stories, but which have been sensationalised for the purpose of filling spaces that would otherwise be empty.

Balatron: someone who, unintentionally, resembles a clown. His fat body shook like a jelly, and his wild red hair might have been a wig.

Balbutiate: to stammer or stutter. He was so nervous that he couldn’t stop balbutiating.

Balderdash: nonsense, trivial, disbelief.

Bald-Faced Stag: term of derision applied to a person with a baldhead.

Bale Up: demand for immediate payment. Modern: cough up.

Ballast (nautical): money. A person is said to be ‘well ballasted’ if their pockets are full of money.

Ballyrag: to scold, intimidate, or abuse.

Balmy: originally, weak-minded or idiotic. Later, ‘barmy’ - insane.

Bamboozle: to confuse, usually for the purpose of cheating. I bamboozled him into giving me that money. Possibly gypsy in origin, though certain similar Irish words may also have a claim.

Banausic: banal, ordinary, unrefined, such as a massed produced object as opposed to a hand-made one.

Bandanna: originally, a silk handkerchief or cravat. Later, a scarf, either head or neck.

Banded: hungry. My stomach’s been banded.

Bandero (American): widow’s weeds.

Bandog: a bailiff’s assistant.

Bandy: a sixpence, which in Elizabethan times were very easy to bend. Later, anything ‘flimsy’.

Bang-Straw: the servant of a farmer.

Bang-Up: first-rate, excellent, in the best style.

Banged-Up: in prison.

Bantling: a baby or young child. Possibly an abbreviated corruption of ‘bands of swaddling cloth’.

Banyan Day: prior to the invention of refrigerators, a cook in a respectable household would select a day to prepare meals with food that was about to ‘go off’. Possibly derived from the Banyans, a strictly vegetarian Hindu sect.

Baptised: alcohol that’s been watered down.

Barber’s Cat: a half-starved, sickly looking person.

Barber’s Clerk: a person who tries to pass as someone superior.

Barguest: a portentous phantom, usually in the shape of a dog.

Barker: a man employed to shout out at shows and shops, the object being to entice customers. Better known as ‘touting for business’.

Barking Iron: a gun.

Barkshire: a hacking cough.

Barn: a church. So called because there’s always room for one more.

Barnacles: (1) spectacles. Possibly a corruption of ‘binoculars’. (2) a device like a pair of pincers that are affixed to the nose of a jittery horse whilst being shod.

Barney: originally, an unfair or fixed race. Later, an argument. There’s a right ol’ barney going on in the kitchen.

Barn Stormers: originally, a theatrical troupe who travelled the country performing in barns. In more recent times, ‘barn storming’ has come to symbolise anything energetic or fast & furious.

Barrelass: to roll over, to tumble. The car went barrrelassing down the hill.

Barrel Fever: someone who is drinking themself to death.

Barrikin: unintelligible speech or jargon. I can’t tumble to his barrikin.

Bastille: originally, the workhouse. Later, the word was corrupted to ‘steel’, meaning any institution where a person is locked up. Possibly the source of the American ‘slammer’, though this is more pertinent to a prison than an asylum.

Bathyergus: a rat.

Bathysiderodromophobia: a fear of subways or underground travel.

Batrachian: having the characteristics of a frog or toad. With his protuberant eyes and wide, grinning mouth, he had a batrachian appearance.

Bats: a pair of badly made or ill-fitting boots.

Batter: weak, not up to the task. By extension, ‘well battered’ - very drunk.

Batty: a financial gratuity given in addition to normal pay. Derived from ‘batta’, which was an allowance given to soldiers whilst serving in India.

Bay-Fever: originally, convicts who shammed illness to delay being sent to Botany Bay. Later, any sham or over exaggerated illness.

Beag (Saxon): a heavy necklace or gold collar emblematic of authority, such as those once worn by Lord Mayors’.

Beak: originally, a judge or a policeman. Later, a judge only.

Beaker-Hunter: a person who specifically