Anonymous Journal: from the feature film April Flowers

By Christopher Tedrick

Welcome to April's fantasy. 

This is a replica of the anonymous journal that captured April's heart in the feature film, April Flowers. 

A romantic quest across New York City, April Flowers tells the story of one woman's adventure as she seeks to return an anonymous journal left upon the subway. Captiva

• Language: English
• Publisher: Myopia Pictures LLC
• Release date: Jan 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9780692785911

Christopher Tedrick

Christopher Tedrick is a writer and filmmaker from New York City.

Book preview

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Jekyll and Hide

Mirror, mirror,

Truthfully lied,

Sharing one heart,

Running two minds,

Breathless,

Tired,

Muddle that binds,

I am Jekyll,

No need to hyde.

*

A red balloon sailed past my window. How surreal. It reminds me - in second grade our teacher asked us to write an encouraging note to a stranger. We then attached the note to a balloon and released it into the sky. Weeks later we received our first reply from a woman who had found a balloon belonging to a classmate. She responded with a five dollar bill and a note of thanks for helping her through a difficult day. Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for a message in a bottle to wash ashore, only the message is a map, and it’s leading me to an alternate universe where

another version of me is living the way I was meant to live.

***

Yesterday I had lunch with Alex.

She’s agonizing over a difficult decision: Does she stay with the man she has been dating for the past six months or return to her ex-boyfriend of over five years? The ex has confessed

his love passionately and deeply

regrets letting her go. The current boyfriend is good to her and she can see a possible future there as well.

She asked my advice. I recommended

she get away for a weekend, so she can be by herself and, hopefully, by creating some distance, see the situation more clearly. Then I asked what her gut said. I felt that her answer would indicate which way she was leaning, as well as which way she should lean. Her answer was,

"I feel absolutely nothing. I feel

completely bland, blah, whatever. I don’t think one decision is better than the other, nor do I feel one

is worse." 

My suspicion is that she is doing

this to herself to prolong making

a decision. She is prolonging her agony, which is something I think she likes to do. She’s covering her instinct under

a sheet of ambivalence. She then said, I think I’m the type of person that will never be happy. I agreed. Not because she can’t be, but

because she doesn’t want to be.

It’s so funny how that statement pertaining to her seems so ridiculous, yet when it pertains to me it’s valid.

What are our instincts? Where do they come from? When I called Gina out for cheating on me had I