LEVIATHAN WALKS

By Candice Rijavec and Zion Publications

While nightmares are filled with things that go bump in the night, reality cruelly grasps you, as you suffocate from the scaly claws grasping firmly around your neck, squeezing tighter and tighter. Indescribable fear paralyzes you; haunted by the thoughts, wondering if the last thing you will ever see are the deathly evil eyes piercing into the depths of your soul and the echoing eerie sounds, hypnotizing your blood to turn cold.

"You are one decision away from a totally different life." (Mark Batterson)

This statement could not have been any more accurate because of the horrible decisions I had made, one after the other, with each one spiralling me into worsened situations. Ultimately, each of my decisions could have ended my life, without me knowing it.

This is my four-year journey of betrayal, trauma, turmoil, life and death, weird and the bizarre, and the impossible made possible… and yet, still merely only a portion of the devastation caused by my connection to the Krugersdorp Killers as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 3, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716368288

Book preview

Copyright

LEVIATHAN WALKS

Second Edition, First Impression 2020

ISBN 978-1-716-36828-8

Copyright © 2020 Candice Rijavec

All Rights Reserved.

Contact Information:

Candice Rijavec

Email: [e-mail]

Website: www.candicerijavec.com

Editing by Ronell Swartz

Published by Zion Publications

Cover Design, Layout and Typesetting by Zion Publications

Contact information:

Zion Publications

Email: [e-mail]

Website: www.zionintl.com

© All rights are reserved. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of research, criticism or review as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright holder.

Contents

Dedication

Chapter 1: The Trap

Chapter 2: Erika Confuses Our Relationship

Chapter 3: The Drama

Chapter 4: Lucas’ Drug Addiction

Chapter 5: Lucas’ Suicidal Patterns As A Child

Chapter 6: DID Explained

Chapter 7: Finding Out About Lucas’ DID

Chapter 8: Erika’s DID

Chapter 9: Lucas’ Life Of Suicidal Attempts

Chapter 10: Lucas Goes To Rehab

Chapter 11: The Twins Spiral Downhill

Chapter 12: Mason Tries To Kill Himself

Chapter 13: Ariana Spirals

Chapter 14: The Twins’ Relationship Destroyed

Chapter 15: Lucas Is Back In Rehab

Chapter 16: Serena Overdoses

Chapter 17: Lucas Dove Into Satanism

Chapter 18: Losing My Mind

Chapter 19: Brain Shut Down

Chapter 20: Someone Save Me

Chapter 21: It Followed Me

Chapter 22: My First Suicide Attempt

Chapter 23: Almost Died Five Times In Three Days

Chapter 24: Erika Befriends Me Again

Chapter 25: Erika Moves Again

Chapter 26: The Krugersdorp Killers

Chapter 27: Lucas Becomes A Drunk

Chapter 28: Constant Fights

Chapter 29: Erika Forced To Move

Chapter 30: The Rings

Chapter 31: Lymes Disease

Chapter 32: Erika And I Part Ways

Chapter 33: Sleep Was Impossible

Chapter 34: Cannabis Oil

Chapter 35: Back To Normal

Chapter 36: Cranial Sacral Therapy

Chapter 37: The Walking Dead

Chapter 38: A New Depth Of Depression

Chapter 39: Demonic Activity Increases

Chapter 40: Leviathan

Chapter 41: My Longing For Death Continued

Chapter 42: The Dream That Almost Killed Me

Chapter 43: My Last Will And Testament

Chapter 44: New Specialist

Chapter 45: Breath Of New Life

Chapter 46: Impossible But Possible

Chapter 47: Finding Myself

Books

All names and places in the context of this book have been changed for privacy purposes.

Dedication

Dedicated to all those who feel trapped in seemingly impossible circumstances in their lives...

This is for you.

There is hope.

Dedicated to my baby brother who died of the same illness that I had managed to survive from...

I love you endlessly.

I am glad you are at peace now.

I will forever miss you.

Chapter 1:

The Trap

After a four-year lifesaving friendship-split from Erika, Erika masterfully roped me back into becoming friends again by using her daughter, Ariana, to constantly contact me, begging and pleading to see me again. After having been friends with Erika previously, Erika knew exactly which buttons to push in order to get a response out of me… her children. Erika was the mastermind at manipulation and to even say that, is an understatement.

In the past, I had practically raised Erika’s children when they were very young and I had constantly missed them tremendously after our friendship ended… so, needless to say, it was an easy card for Erika to play on me. Erika used her children as the sole reason to see me: because her children missed me so much that they would cry at the very mention of my name. This is how Erika ended up luring me to her house… to see her children again.

When I got to Erika’s house, her daughter, Ariana, was the first to come running up to me, crying hysterically, hugging me ever so tight, refusing to let go.

Erika’s two sons, Lucas and Mason, were also overly ecstatic to see me again.

I was locked in straight away emotionally, without even realizing it. Little did I know that I had stepped into a trap that would become seemingly impossible to escape from.

Chapter ²:

Erika Confuses Our Relationship

It was not even a few weeks into being friends with Erika again, when she began making very questionable, yet, very adamant statements saying, I belong to you, and you belong to me. This was the first time Erika had ever made this kind of statement to me. I immediately reasoned, within myself, that Erika meant this in a friendship way but her mannerisms, thereafter, showed otherwise. This became an almost daily statement of hers.

Erika then proceeded to tell all her friends this and warning her male friends to not come near me because I belonged to her and that we were in a gay relationship. I thought nothing of this because I assumed that Erika was joking, and that she would say this to protect me; she had said that her male friends were usually dangerous men and prone to doing anything that would violate a woman.

When Erika told me what she was telling everyone, I still reasoned to myself that she was making a joke of it, especially because she was already in a relationship with a man from a motorcycle club.

At first, Erika’s friends laughed this off as a ridiculous statement, but Erika proceeded telling everyone this continuously, until most of her friends started believing her. However, when Erika’s friends would question her about what her boyfriend thinks of this whole scenario, she would light-heartedly respond by saying, He doesn’t care. He’s open minded.

With the friends who still did not believe Erika and especially with those men who would proceed to make advances towards me, Erika would become exceptionally aggressive towards them and threaten them to back away from me. Each time she would adamantly state that I belonged to her. Her statement was so aggressive that the men, themselves, appeared shocked.

As if this was not bad enough, for those men who still refused to believe that we were in a gay relationship, Erika would then begin to demonstrate more affectionate ways towards me that would be considered gay.

On one occasion, in front of one of Erika’s male friends who adamantly did not believe her statements about us being gay, Erika then, without warning, pulled up my t-shirt and started kissing my stomach repeatedly. Out of utter shock and complete disbelief, I immediately started laughing. This, however, then convinced her male friend that we were gay. Needless to say, that, by this point, all of Erika’s friends now believed that we were in a gay relationship, and no one would dare come near me because of her aggressiveness about the issue.

This issue did not even stop there. Erika then also told her three children and their friends that we were a gay couple.

When her sons’ friends would make advances towards me, Erika would get aggressive towards them. On one occasion, Erika grabbed hold of one of the boys by his neck, shoved him against a wall and threatened him to stay away from me because I belonged to her. This happened in front of her children and their other friends.

Several weeks later, while Erika was getting dressed, she proceeded to put on her jewelry. She always wore a lot of all types of jewelry but this time, however, she put one of her rings on her wedding finger. I was highly confused by this as I had never seen Erika wear a wedding ring, nor a ring on her wedding finger, for as long as I had known her. I asked her why she put a ring on her wedding finger, and she light-heartedly responded by saying, We are a couple. I want people to know that. And now by wearing the ring, we will be considered as engaged too. I was speechless. I did not say a word – what could I say? This was the strangest behaviour and delusion I had ever experienced from Erika. We were strictly friends. Even learning to trust her again was a struggle for me, never mind now apparently being involved in a gay relationship, as well as also now being engaged to her as well. Erika proceeded to wear this ring every day and whenever anyone asked her about it, she would predictably always tell them that we were engaged.

To add to all of this, Erika started looking me up and down as if to analyze me and then started to touch me extremely inappropriately. Other more invasive occasions started arising as well. Numerous times I would shower with the bathroom door closed and then when I would turn around, I would see Erika standing there watching me. This utterly shocked me and made me exceptionally uncomfortable because we were just friends. We were not a gay couple.

Erika even went as far as continuously referring to her children as our children and when she bought a puppy, she called the puppy our love child.

This issue progressively worsened to the point where Erika’s children started stating that it was obvious that we are gay and that we should just get married. I would always laugh off this statement as being utterly ridiculous, especially since Erika’s children used to joke around a lot, talking a LOT of nonsense. I would always write the children’s comments off as one of the nonsense talk scenarios, especially since they would be hysterically laughing when saying it.

All my life, I had always considered myself straight, or heterosexual, even though I had never dated anyone my entire life. I was raised in the belief that if you are gay, you go to hell. So, my mind would not even dare consider the idea of being gay but at the same time, I would not date a man as I was never interested. All I had ever genuinely wanted was a best friend. And if I did find the one that I wanted to be in a relationship with, then it would happen when the time is right. Until then, I was perfectly happy just as I was, just having a friend in my life.

Since the beginning of my friendship with Erika, she had always assumed that I was gay because I had never dated any men. Whenever I was confronted on this topic, I would ignore it. As far as my mind was concerned, I did not know who or what I was, nor was I bothered about this topic either. I had always just wanted a friend. Friendship, alone, was complicated enough. I was never interested in having a relationship because of the issues that I had seen come from it. In my mind, I was just me. I did not want to complicate my life further with relationship issues.

With Erika’s assumption of me being gay, she used this as an opportunity to label us as a couple. By doing this, Erika knew that it would make me feel very important to her and I would ultimately become dedicated to her because of the type of person I am. I am also a very affectionate person, so any type of affection that she showed me, would ultimately draw me in deeper, as I desperately craved any type of love because of my past and my issues with rejection.

Because of the numerous scenarios that were presented by Erika, and by our apparent gay relationship, question after question started rising in my mind and I started wondering if I was, in fact, gay. Her emphasis on this topic caused me to start questioning my likes and dislikes. I became highly confused within myself. I, however, would refuse to accept any thoughts on being gay because I did not want to go to hell. All I really wanted was a friend, a best friend, someone who I could share my life with and confide in.

Erika’s persistence on our gay relationship bothered me so much that there were numerous nights where I would lie in bed next to her, while she was sleeping, with confusing thoughts running through my mind.