Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

2020: the Lost Year Under King Trump
2020: the Lost Year Under King Trump
2020: the Lost Year Under King Trump
Ebook482 pages7 hours

2020: the Lost Year Under King Trump

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

()

Read preview

About this ebook

This is a daily account of everything that happened in the United States of America in 2020 as taken from the pages of the Orlando Sentinel.

Steve Gismondi, a proud Navy veteran, throws in his opinions for good measure, with some of them being funny and others serious. He covers subjects from Donald J. Trump and the Republicans to Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats to world events and famous athletes. Headlines he sounds off on include:

• Dems Unveil Impeachment Articles;
• $15 Wage Bump Will Appear on 2020 Ballot;
• State Supreme Court Rules on ‘Stand Your Ground’ Charge;
• Trump Says Kim Jon Un May Be Planning a Nice Present for Him.

The author also shares his opinion that to get the country back on track, there needs to be a widespread vaccination to fight COVID-19—and politicians need to realize that people (not their wallets) come first.

Seventy-five percent of the profits from this book will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital to help fight cancer.

LanguageEnglish
PublisheriUniverse
Release dateMar 14, 2021
ISBN9781663215116
2020: the Lost Year Under King Trump
Author

Steve Gismondi

Stephen Gismondi, a New York native, who now lives in Florida, is the father of three great kids Erin, Kelly, and Kevin. Steve is a proud Navy veteran and an all-around funny guy.A Catholic upbringing has made him an atheist.Married for 44 years to his beautiful wife Maureen."2021: We Were Just Biden Our Time", is his third published book.

Related to 2020

Related ebooks

Humor & Satire For You

View More

Related articles

Related categories

Reviews for 2020

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars
0 ratings

0 ratings0 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

    Book preview

    2020 - Steve Gismondi

    Copyright © 2021 Steve Gismondi.

    All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

    The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

    iUniverse

    1663 Liberty Drive

    Bloomington, IN 47403

    www.iuniverse.com

    844-349-9409

    Because of the dynamic nature of the internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

    Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

    Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

    ISBN: 978-1-6632-1510-9 (sc)

    ISBN: 978-1-6632-1511-6 (e)

    Library of Congress Control Number: 2021903266

    iUniverse rev. date: 03/12/2021

    Preface

    I am sixty-four years old, and twenty-five years ago I wrote a book called Turning 40, which mathematically adds up (I was thirty-nine years and eleven months old when I wrote it). I recently have been asked by the fifty-one people who read my informative book to write another. I started one about ten years ago but didn’t seem to have the drive, that special motivation, until finally it hit me: the newspaper, politics, the bad news—it’s all we hear every day, and it’s sickening. What finally gave me the shove I needed was reading a book by Art Buchwald called You Can Fool All of the People All of the Time.

    Art Buchwald’s book was released in 1985, and it is basically an account of daily events from 1983 through 1984 under the Reagan administration. This gave me the idea to comment on current daily events in the newspaper—particularly the Orlando Sentinel, because Orlando, Florida, is where I live.

    I found it absolutely amazing what was occurring in government, world events, religious disagreements, and civil rights back in the 1980s. Unfortunately, it’s almost identical to today’s insanity.

    My plan was to write my book, contact Mr. Buchwald, and, if he liked my book, have him promote it for me. If he would do that, I planned on donating 75 percent of my share of the book to charity. St. Jude’s is where I donate monthly presently. Sounds like a great idea, right? There was one small kink in my plans. I looked Mr. Buchwald up online and found that he died in 2007.

    I decided to name my book 2020: The Lost Year under King Trump. I guess I will work out who will promote the book later.

    For the record, I was registered as a Democrat, but don’t let that fool you. I voted for Ralph Nader, and I voted for Ross Perot. I despise Trump with a passion, but that’s been for more than fifty years, including when I lived in New York. I can’t stand Hillary and her husband, who are both born liars (which I’m pretty sure all politicians are, and I will stand by that until someone proves me wrong). I’m going to make this book about the absurdity in the paper each and every day, and with my satirical humor, I’m sure you will enjoy it. My goal was to do this for a year and get close to 365 pages. (Come on, you could’ve figured that out.)

    Note: While editing this book, I realized how repetitive our daily news truly is. I still was able to find other interesting stories to write about other than Trump, Biden, the Republicans, the Democrats, and COVID-19, as you will see.

    December 11, 2019—Wednesday

    Headline: Dems Unveil Impeachment Articles

    Really. What a shock. This started before the asshole was elected. If they would just listen to me now, I could save us all millions of dollars and tons of time. Nothing will happen. He’s guilty! Everyone knows it, but his supporters and Republicans will not remove him. Here’s what we should be thinking about:

    On this date in 1941, Germany and Italy declared war on the United States! We won, so now we have all the beer and pizza we want and have become the obese nation of the world.

    On this date in 1972, Apollo 17’s lunar module landed on the moon with two astronauts. Let’s send Hillary and Trump to the moon, leave them there, and call them astro nuts.

    On this date in 1980, President Carter signed legislation creating a $1.6 billion environmental superfund to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste dumps. It appears that money has run out.

    Great headline: School Uses Synthetic Frogs for Dissection, Real Frogs Leap for Joy

    That’s much better than New Jersey Gun Battle Leaves Six Dead, Including Cop. I think it was Pat Moynahan who said, Instead of trying to fight the NRA to ban handguns, let’s ban bullets. What a great idea.

    December 12, 2019—Thursday

    Headline: Unfit to Be President

    No shit! What a fucking surprise. Everyone knows he lies at will and he’s incompetent, but the Republicans don’t care, and he will remain in office. Hell, Clinton lied and stayed in office when he said, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I think he was referring to Hillary when he said that!

    One of the best jokes and funniest occurrences in my life was about Clinton. Our son, Kevin, came home from school one day and said to his mom, Maureen, Let me tell you a joke. We believe this was in 1998, when he was ten years old.

    He said, What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

    Maureen said, I don’t know, what?

    Kevin said, They both say, insert Bill here.

    Now, although the joke is very funny, you usually don’t witness a ten-year-old boy telling such a joke to his mother. We both knew that Kevin had no idea what that meant, but either way …

    Headline: New Jersey Shooting Feared as Hate Crime

    How stupid is that? If you shoot someone, it’s out of hatred. Even when a wife shoots a man she loves, at that moment, she hates him.

    Headline: Leaders Scramble for Votes as UK’s Ugly Campaigning Ends

    For the past two years, England has shown that they are just as stupid and screwed up as us with Brexit. At least this ongoing story has diverted our country from being the single laughingstock of the entire world.

    Headline: Giuliani Settles Long Divorce from His Third Wife

    I think this will clear the way when Melania dumps Trump, and she and Rudy can get together. The article states that throughout the divorce, details about the couple’s $230,000 monthly budget became public, including payments for six houses, two country club memberships, and $12,000 for Rudy’s cigars. Not bad for a retired New York cop. Tell me he’s not or wasn’t on the take.

    December 13, 2019—Friday

    Headline: President Mocks Greta Thunberg

    There is absolutely no end to this man’s gall, shame, or ignorance. Greta Thunberg is a brilliant sixteen-year-old Swedish climate change activist trying to stop the atrocities causing climate change, and all this idiot can do is try to bring her down. That’s all he ever does to people who disagree with him; he just tries to defame them. He refuses to discuss topics because he seldom is up to speed on them. So rather than have an intelligent conversation with her, he tweets, Greta must work on her ‘anger management’ problem, then go to a good old fashion movie with a friend.

    Really, Mr. President? You are going to talk about other people’s problems with anger management?

    In sports, college football bowl games start a week from today. In 1969, when I was fourteen, I remember only four bowl games (though there were actually eleven): the Orange Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, and the Rose Bowl. This season there are forty-one bowl games. Forty-one! Some of their names are mind-boggling. Here are a few: the Carmella Bowl, the Gasparilla Bowl, the Cheez-It Bowl, the Camping World Bowl, the Red Box Bowl, and, my favorite, the Idaho Potato Bowl. If I didn’t like to watch the games, I would say this was really stupid.

    December 14, 2019—Saturday

    Headline: Kids Dream of Shooting Up Their Schools, Have Guns Close By

    We all have seen this all too frequently over the last decade or so, and it’s petrifying and sad. Here is what I propose: if a crime is committed with the use of a registered gun, which in most school shootings they are, the person who owns the gun gets charged as well. To me it is no different than the getaway driver being charged after a bank robbery. If a person is shot during that crime, the driver faces those same charges.

    December 15, 2019—Sunday

    Headline: North Korea Conducts Another Test at Long Range Rocket Site

    There’s not too much to say here other than It’s scary. When you have unstable leaders running countries with the developed firepower in our present world, it’s dangerous. I can think of at least three dangerous leaders right now with this capability. (No names, please.)

    In sports, Navy beat Army 31 to 7. Army had won the last three games. I, being an ex–US Navy corpsman, loved it. There are a couple of interesting game notes. The first is that the Navy quarterback rushed for 304 yards in the game. That’s a lot. The second is that Navy threw only one pass in the entire game, and it wasn’t even the quarterback who threw the ball. He handed it off to a receiver, who threw to a receiver for a touchdown. So the quarterback never threw the ball in the entire game. Either way, hooray, Navy!

    Next year, Navy and Notre Dame will play in Dublin, Ireland. My wife and I looked into tickets and found the price to be €568, which currently equates to $1,261. Airfare is $1,100 each. The total would be $3,462. We will watch it on TV in our recliners!

    December 16, 2019—Monday

    Headline: Impeachment Oath Violated

    Oh boy. Now the Republicans are changing the rules as they go, claiming that impartiality doesn’t cover politics. Ugh. Why can’t we dissolve both parties and start from scratch?

    Today in 1773, the Boston Tea Party took place. Three hundred chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor to protest tea taxes. Let’s organize a reenactment, but instead of tea, let’s dump 100 senators and 435 representatives in the harbor.

    Today in 1907, US Navy battleships, which came to be known as the Great White Fleet (I’d never heard of it), set sail on a fourteen-month, round-the-world voyage to demonstrate American sea power. It’s a good thing some other nation, which will remain nameless, doesn’t try the same muscle flexing today with, say, nuclear rocket tests. Bah ha ha ha!

    In sports, my Oakland Raiders played their last game in Oakland yesterday at the Oakland Alameda Colosseum and went out in style, blowing a fourth-quarter lead and losing, as time ran out, to the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars. Hooray, team. Go to Vegas.

    December 17, 2019—Tuesday

    It is now one week until Christmas. I think it’s been a great year for me and Maureen. She got to retire in June. (It’s been three years for me now.) It’s taken some time for Maureen to adjust, but she loves it. We have both found that we have more than enough activities to keep us busy, which I think is the most important of all. We do many things together, but we also have many separate endeavors that fill our days. We both agree that most people who say they don’t enjoy retirement have found nothing to do. What’s worse is that almost all those who do nothing don’t seem to last long.

    December 18, 2019—Wednesday

    Born on this date is Keith Richards, seventy-six. Fifty years ago, I bet he wouldn’t make thirty!

    On this date in 1865, the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution, abolishing slavery, was declared in effect. I wonder when it will actually take effect.

    Today in 1969 (I found this ironic), British Parliament made permanent a 1965 ban on the death penalty; while on this date in 1998, South Carolina carried out the five hundredth execution in the United States since capital punishment resumed in 1977.

    In Pakistan, former ruler of the country Pervez Mosharraf was sentenced to death for treason while in power in 2007. I heard our president was accused of treason recently.

    December 19, 2019—Thursday

    Headline: Trump Impeached

    Enough said.

    Today in 1956, To Tell the Truth debuted on CBS. I think all politicians should have to appear on that show and be hooked up to lie detectors before they get elected.

    December 20, 2019—Friday

    Headline: $15 Wage Bump Will Appear on 2020 Ballot

    I firmly believe in giving all workers a reasonable living wage, but I’m not sure how much that is. I know that at one time, politicians were talking about a nationwide fifteen-dollar-an-hour wage, but that will never work, because fifteen dollars in Florida is like eight dollars in New York or California and many other states. That’s the reason there is such a discrepancy in the minimum wage right now. It’s because the cost of living in many states is totally different than in other states.

    Headline: GOP Holds Trump in Unapologetic Embrace

    It’s so sad that we have gotten to this broken political state in our country. I firmly believe it is unfixable unless both the Democratic and Republican parties are completely dissolved, which will never happen. So far left and so far right are they that they refuse to have constructive talks about anything. The gap between them seems to be directly proportional to those between the upper, lower, and middle classes. There is almost no middle; it’s just upper Republicans and lower Democrats now.

    Every day is stunning to me as I read about sports money. Julio Teheran agreed to a one-year $9 million baseball contract. His record was ten wins and eleven losses with a 3.81 ERA. This pays him just less than $1 million per win for a losing record. There are seven kids in my family, and our combined lifetime earnings will not be half of that, and that’s what he’s paid for one season.

    December 21, 2019—Saturday

    Headline: President Goes After Christian Magazine

    I truly wish religion could stay out of politics. It has absolutely no business there. Unfortunately, we all know that religion not only plays a major part in politics but also is the major cause of at least 90 percent of the world’s problems.

    Everyone is born an atheist. That’s a fact. Until someone teaches or tells you what you should believe, you are nothing, religious-wise. God does not teach you religion; people do. What’s worse, billions of different people claim that their religion is the true religion. Obviously they can’t all be right, but many kill over it. That doesn’t sound godlike at all.

    I was brought up Catholic and went to Saint Agnes School. I believed in God because, like all others, I was told to believe by my parents, nuns and priests at school, and church members. The fact of the matter is, it didn’t really matter whether I believed or not, because believing never controlled or influenced me.

    About fourteen years ago, I became an agnostic. After seeing Marlo Thomas and her father doing commercials for the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, it made me not only question the existence of God but also seriously doubt it. Then, ten years ago, I became an atheist. I could not help thinking about how, if any god existed, he could justify these kids at St. Jude suffering and dying. I kept getting angrier and angrier and realized that there is no God. When I discuss God with others, they all say God is all-loving, all-forgiving, all-merciful, all-knowing, and all-powerful. If that were true, he could never permit anything like this to happen.

    I don’t mind contributing to St. Jude one bit, but why should anyone have to contribute anything if God can heal people by just snapping his fingers?

    When discussing with others the existence of God, I ask for proof that God exists, and that’s when the lame examples and excuses fly! The first and most often used is Well, if there is no God, how did all this get here? My response is always the same: Just because you say some kind of superior being put all this here is not proof. I could say the third string on my guitar created all this, and that would be as much proof as your statement. After that, 99 percent of my debaters have nothing else to say.

    So then I’ll say this to them: I read a newspaper article recently that reported a building collapsed and twenty-nine people were killed. Two days later, they went through the rubble and found a three-month-old baby alive. ‘It’s a miracle from God,’ millions of believers claimed. I then ask them, Well, what about the twenty-nine others that died horrible deaths? Where was God for them?

    For me, these instances prove that God does not exist. If he did exist, all these prayers people say (and I used to pray every night) would work. The problem is that religious people still use isolated cases when something amazing happens and credit God and conveniently ignore the millions of cases in which nothing happens.

    If I’m wrong, then I’ll say this. If God does exist, screw him. I would want nothing to do with such an evil being, who, according to all of you believers, has the power to stop all this pain and suffering but does not.

    I’ve heard some good lines about people’s belief in God, and this is my favorite: I thank God I’m an atheist.

    I recently attended a lecture that dealt with atheism and prejudice and other matters. One thing that stood out to me was the statement No one is born prejudiced. Prejudice is taught to people by warped minds and bad information handed down over time.

    It’s nice when we see young kids—two- to seven-year-olds—of all races playing together, because there is no hatred among them. It is after these years that someone begins feeding them information to warp their minds.

    I was brought up in New York in the sixties and seventies, a turbulent time, by a racist father, so of course these same views were drilled in my head. I used every derogatory reference you can think of: nigger, kike, Ginny (and I’m Italian), and so on.

    It was when I enlisted in the Navy and went through boot camp and medical training with the Marines when I finally had a breakthrough about people. I started joking when people would bring up prejudice. I’d tell them, I’m not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally.

    One of my pet peeves is when people say, I have Black friends or I have gay friends or I have Jewish friends. I immediately tell them that I do not. I just have friends. Some may be Black or Jewish or gay, but they are just my friends.

    Recently, Mo and I were discussing a relative that has changed from my niece to my nephew. Basically, the conversation was more about how he would now be accepted in this crazy world. My feelings about him and any other person of color, race, religion, sexual orientation, or nationality is this: "I don’t care what you are; I only care who you are."

    Please, just remember these two things:

    1. No one is born prejudiced!

    2. Everyone is born an atheist!

    In an interesting sports note, Major League Baseball’s average salary dropped to $4,051,490. I hope they can adjust! FYI, the $15 minimum wage is still being fought by big business.

    December 22, 2019—Sunday

    Headline: It’s Back to the Wall: US Seizing Land for Trump Border Wall

    I am totally against building this wall. Besides wasting billions of dollars, it will not work. I do want to make it clear, that although I dislike Trump, there are many things I agree with him on, to a degree. Trump said he wanted to stop immigration from all Middle East countries. I go a step further. I say we stop immigration from all countries until we solve the problems existing for the 325 million residents we already have. We have too many hungry, homeless, and jobless people already. We don’t need to add more until we are fixed.

    Headline: New Zealand Buyback Nets 51K Guns and Made Assault Weapons Ban

    We need something like that here in the United States. Come on, guys. It’s OK to have guns for hunting, and I’ll even agree with handguns at home for protection, but nobody needs to own an Uzi or any assault weapon.

    In sports, the Cure Bowl ended with a score of Liberty 23, Georgia Southern 16 … Who cares.

    Headline: Computer Owns Part of Labor Deal

    Computer plate umpires could be called up to the major leagues at some point during the next five seasons. I don’t like this at all. I agree with replay on catches and close calls on the bases, but balls and strikes need to be kept at the human level. They rate umpires at the end of each year anyway, so if they find one that is constantly wrong, they can dismiss him.

    I also saw some more sports money insanity. Another pitcher without a winning record, Dallas Keuchel, who won eight games and lost eight games, signed a three-year, $55.5 million contract. Mathematically, if he goes eight and eight for those three years and ends up twenty-four and twenty-four, that’s more than $2 million per win. Not bad!

    Here is something that I have never heard of in today’s sports world, or any sports world. Yoenis Céspedes’s salary next year was cut to $6 million from its original $29.5 million. The poor guy will probably have to get an off-season part-time job. Why don’t they cut all the players’ salaries like that and lower ticket prices so we all can afford to take our families to a game?

    December 23, 2019—Monday

    Headline: Starliner Space Capsule Lands in New Mexico after Aborted Flight

    I can think of nowhere worse to end up then New Mexico! What a hellhole.

    Headline: Orlando Closes Year at Second Hottest

    I don’t know how anyone can deny global warming and label it a hoax. Facts are facts.

    On this date in 2001, Time magazine named New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani its Person of the Year for his steadfast response to the 9/11 terrorist attack. It’s an absolute shame that Rudy has associated himself with the loser Trump and turned himself into a complete embarrassment. We all loved you, Rudy, but you have now turned into the same dishonest and untrustworthy liar that your good friend Trump is.

    Headline: Hours I Have to Call, Aide Said to Hold Off Ukraine Aid

    There is more than enough evidence that proves Trump’s guilt, but as I said earlier, the Republicans don’t care. Both parties are just out to halt any progress by their opponents with no regard for what’s best for our country or the people who live here. It’s disgusting.

    December 24, 2019—Tuesday

    Today is Christmas Eve. As an atheist, I find it interesting that my love for the Christmas season and the friendliness and compassion that seems to explode from Thanksgiving to Christmas has not changed. It’s a shame that this emotion and spirit of helpfulness and giving cannot be carried out for the entire year. As an atheist, I don’t deny the existence of Jesus at all. I believe he walked the earth and was an exceptional human being that cared about all people, like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and Abraham Lincoln. On this matter, I am more in line with the Jews, who don’t deny the existence of Jesus; they just don’t believe he was the son of God. Obviously, I go one step further, because in my mind, Jesus could not be the son of God, because there is no God.

    Headline: Called Out

    Eddie Murphy hosted SNL, and in his monologue he stated, I have ten children and if you had told me thirty years ago that I would be this boring, stay at home dad and Bill Cosby would be in jail, I would’ve taken that bet.

    Apparently Bill Cosby took offense to this and had his publicist respond by saying, "It is sad that Mr. Murphy would take this glorious moment of returning to SNL and make the disparaging remarks against Mr. Cosby."

    Really! Bill Cosby drugged women and took advantage of them while they were unconscious, and you are offended? Bill Cosby was one of my favorite comedians before this. I still have his Right and Wonderfulness albums on vinyl. In the mid to late 1980s, when The Cosby Show was taped at NBC Brooklyn Studios, I worked with him and could not believe my luck to be able to be around one of my childhood idols. And then we found out what he did. Shame on you, Bill.

    Today in history, the United States signed the Treaty of Ghent in 1814, which ended the War of 1812. I always laugh when I hear this war mentioned, because my father would ask us over and over these three questions:

    1. When was the war of 1812?

    2. Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?

    3. What color was George Washington’s white horse?

    Oddly enough, I have fun asking my grandson, Atticus, who is seven years old, these same questions.

    Grandson! Holy crap! How did I get this old?

    On this day in 1992, President Bush pardoned former defense secretary Casper Weinberger and five others involved in the Iran-Contra scandal. I have a feeling that when this Ukraine scandal is over, Trump will be pardoning Giuliani and many others. We shall see.

    Headline: Children Don’t Judge Santa by His Color, Adults Should Do the Same

    That would be so nice. What does it matter what color Santa is? It’s the Christmas spirit that we should be celebrating. I don’t think people realize that Jesus was from Africa and was probably a lot darker than all the portraits we see.

    Headline: State Supreme Court Rules on ‘Stand Your Ground’ Change

    I don’t understand how this law is still in effect. It basically says that you can start a fight with someone and, if you start losing, you can shoot the other person. That’s exactly what happened with George Zimmerman when he shot Trayvon Martin and got away with it. Although Zimmerman didn’t use that defense, it was available to him. I guarantee that if Trayvon Martin were white, Zimmerman would have been convicted.

    Great Headline: Buffet Endorses Legal Pot in State

    What a shocker that is. Jimmy Buffet endorses pot. It’s also a no-brainer, and it pisses me off that the hypocrite politicians (who we all know smoked pot when they were young in the 1960s) fight legalization. From the age of fourteen until I was seventeen, I got high at least once a day, and I turned out OK—well, somewhat OK.

    December 25, 2019—Wednesday, Merry Christmas

    Christmas Birthdays

    • Jimmy Buffett turns seventy three. I’ll smoke to that.

    • Sissy Spacek turns seventy. Coal miners usually don’t live that long.

    • There are nine more people listed, and I’ve never heard of any of them. Unfortunately, that shows my age (sixty-four), because I only know the old farts like me.

    On this date in AD 336, the first known commemoration of Christmas on December 25 took place in Rome. So I guess no one was sure about Jesus’s birth for 336 years.

    I just had another conversation with a believer in Jesus and God. I asked him what his proof of the existence of Jesus and his teachings were. He said that the proof was that it has been written of for two thousand years by many people.

    My response was Like the Gospels according to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John?

    He said, Yes.

    I then asked him if he was aware that Jesus had been dead about ninety-five years when the first of these Gospels was written, so none of these four writers had been born in Jesus’s time or ever met Jesus. These are not firsthand accounts of events.

    In this Trump era, we are dealing with fake news every day. Could you at least acknowledge that what has been written may not be entirely true?

    On this date in 1776, George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian forces at Trenton, New Jersey, during the Revolutionary War. Can you imagine if we had lost to the British! We would be going through Brexit right now. How embarrassing that would be to a country’s politics. Bah ha ha ha!

    Headline: Trump Says Kim Jong Un May Be Planning a Nice Present for Him

    It makes sense. You already admitted that you two fell in love. It’s so pathetic that Trump keeps tweeting about how all these dignitaries from around the world love him, yet not one of them says it.

    Headline: Embattled Uber Founder Exits the Ride-Hailing Giant

    I don’t blame him. His name is Travis Kalanick, he’s forty-three years old, and he’s leaving with more than $2.5 billion. I retired almost four years ago at age sixty and was thrilled not to have to work anymore. If I could’ve retired at forty-three with all that money, I could’ve seen the entire world by now. Let me just say this: contribute to a 401(k) plan or IRA or whatever you can and put as much in as you can. You will be so glad you did when you get to sixty and can retire. Too many people wait too long to save, and I’m telling you, it’s a blink of an eye and you’re sixty-four. Start now.

    Headline: Florida’s Minimum-Wage Goes Up a Dime on January 1

    The hourly wage rises to $8.56 an hour. Who the hell could possibly live on that?

    Headline: 28 Killed as Bus Plunges into Ravine in Indonesia

    It seems I read something like this at least once a week worldwide. I have two things to say: what a damn shame, and where the hell was God?

    In sports, I cannot recall a Christmas when not one pro or college football game was played on Christmas Day, but it happened today. I was forced to talk to people! Actually, it was a great day, and I hope it was for all.

    December 26, 2019—Thursday

    Headline: Study: Facial Recognition Shows Bias

    The article says facial recognition systems misidentify people of color more often than white people. This can only mean two things:

    1. These machines are prejudiced.

    2. All people of color look alike.

    All kidding aside, I don’t get it and probably never will.

    On this date in 2004, more than 230,000 people, mostly of Southern Asia, were killed by a one-hundred-foot-high tsunami. Two hundred thirty thousand! I remember hearing about it in the news, but I don’t recall the figure of 230,000 dead. It’s things like that that make me wonder how anyone can believe in … you know.

    Headline: Time and Cost of Relocation of US Base in Okinawa to Double

    The following facts of this story are mind-boggling. It says the relocation of the Marine Corps base will take more than twice as much time and money as previously estimated. It will cost $8.5 billion and take twelve years. That adds more than a decade to a plan already delayed by more than twenty years. Who is building this, three blind mice? Talk about government waste!

    Headline: ‘Burning Man’ Organizers Sue over US Permit Fees

    This is one association that I would not want to be a member of. I don’t want to imagine what a person would have to do to join.

    Headline: Fugitive Grandma Gets Life in Prison for Killing Look-Alike

    I really don’t have a comment on this one. I just love the headline.

    That last headline reminded me that one of the things that motivated me to write this book, or even contributed to the idea, was my years at NBC in New York. From 1982 to 1990, I worked in a department called Live Studio Maintenance. Our department worked on all the live shows, including Saturday Night Live, The Today Show, Donahue, and NBC Nightly News. On our shop door were headlines we cut out from the New York newspapers, mostly the New York Post, that we found funny. Ed Capon, my coworker and good buddy, originated it, and people all through the RCA building at Rockefeller Center would come by every day just to read our door.

    My favorite headline ever was from the Post: Headless Body in Topless Bar.

    December 27, 2019—Friday

    Born on this date is John Amos, now eighty. You know, John Amos, the grown-up Kunta Kinte from Roots. Not tree roots, but Roots, the miniseries in the 1970s that depicted the slave trade from African capture to the end of slavery. I wonder how many Gen Xers, millennials and Gen Zers have watched this from start to finish. It was amazing then and still is now. When it is played in February, Black History Month, I watch it all over again. Although we have come a long way in race relations since the 1960s, there still is a long way to go. It seems to me that today’s efforts for equality are not as strong now as they were back then. Maybe it’s just me.

    December 28, 2019—Saturday

    Headline: Clearwater Waitress Receives $2000 Tip on Christmas Eve

    Some stories are just nice to hear. Patrons gave her this tip because she confided that a repair her car needed was $2,100, which drained her savings account. From time to time each year, we hear heartwarming stories like this. It’s nice to see that good people still exist and are willing to help others in need.

    This is just one of millions of stories about people in our country that need help. I touched on immigration earlier, stating, "We should stop all immigration into this country until we can take care of all of our people first." There should be financial assistance for people like this from our government.

    Too many people in America are not getting enough to eat or don’t have a decent place to live, yet we spend trillions of dollars on foreign aid. Something is wrong here!

    Headline: New Wife 26 Charged with Exploiting Husband 77 for Money in Tampa

    WTF! Really? She tried to cash $1 million in checks. What does a twenty-six-year-old woman want from a seventy-seven-year-old man? We all know the answer to that, just like we know what a seventy-seven-year-old man wants from a twenty-six-year-old woman. I guarantee it’s not the same thing.

    If you’re close to the same age, it’s different. Maureen is six months older than me, and I remember making love to her on her sixtieth birthday and saying, I can’t believe I’m fucking a sixty-year-old.

    Her response was You won’t be anymore!

    Headline: Nearly 2,000,000 Florida Drivers Have Suspended Licenses

    That’s 2 million out of 16.6 million drivers in Florida! That means almost one out of every eight drivers is driving without a license. I feel really safe now!

    December 29, 2019—Sunday

    Headline: Thousands of Koalas Feared Dead in Australia Wildfires

    There is nothing to laugh at here. This story sounds like our own wildfire problems in the United States, especially California burning up. Instead of bears and deer being killed, in Australia it is mainly koalas. New South Wales is home for more than twenty-eight thousand koalas, and up to 30 percent of their habitat has been destroyed. Sure sounds like here.

    Headline: Biden Explains Why He Would Refuse to Testify in Senate Trial

    Although no one gives a crap about the impeachment of Trump, because nothing will happen, the Republicans can’t get it through their thick heads that Trump is the impeached, not the Bidens. This is just another frivolous Republican ruse to avoid the truth about Trump’s obvious guilt.

    If they want to go after the Bidens after the Trump investigation is over, fine. But they can’t get through their rock-hard skulls that these are two different issues!

    Headlines:

    1. Plane on Way to LSU-Oklahoma Football Game Crashes, Killing Five

    2. Separate Crashes Kill at Least 28, Hurt 32 in Egypt

    3. At Least 49 Protesters Killed since October, Iraqi Group Says

    4. Man Dies after $1 Mugging on Christmas Eve

    Too many people are dying for no reason. Unfortunately, it’s been the same for years.

    Headline: Pennsylvania Diocese Pays $84 Million to 560 Victims of Abuse

    How can any Catholic believe in a God that could let this happen? This is 564 victims (and counting) in one parish. As I said earlier, I was brought up Catholic, so you can’t say I have no insight to this or that I’m against only the Catholic religion. It happens in all religions. It’s shameful.

    Headline: Trump Bucked GOP Economics in 2019

    The article says, from trade to spending, from the Federal Reserve to paid parental leave, Trump has embraced policy changes that historically are more in line with the approach of Democrats than Republicans in establishing a forceful role for government in setting the terms of the economy. We have to admit that since Trump has been in office, the economy has soared. It also was soaring for six years before he took office, while Obama was president. Of course Trump is taking credit for it, as all presidents do, but they never take responsibility when the economy tanks—which history tells us it will do within the next four

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1