The Perils of Pastor Paris Pearson: The Promised Land and the Parking Space

By Bill Smith

Rev. Paris Pearson’s dreams were about to come true. After a 10 year delay in his 5 year life’s plan, he was about to move from his current ministerial position; to the fulfillment of his vocational dream as a Senior Pastor at a “down home” country church. He would soon discover that there would be a lot more to this dream job than he could have ever imagined. He would soon learn that the people he went to pastor may have been sanctified but they were not yet glorified.

This is the story of a young minister that with the help of a supportive family, a patient congregation and a gracious Lord; he would begin his journey into building a legacy of caring service.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664210899

Bill Smith

Bill Smith is the author of two cookbooks and many articles and essays in various magazines and journals. In 2019 he retired after twenty-five years as head chef at Crook's Corner Restaurant in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. He has received nominations several times from the James Beard Foundation for Best Chef Southeast and served for six years on the board of the Southern Foodways Alliance. In 2021 he received the Craig Claiborne Lifetime Achievement Award from that organization.

Book preview

42254.png    CHAPTER 2

No Initials Please

(The Interview)

"PARIS PEARSON? DEACON SIMMS IS ready for you. Paris systematically wiped the perspiration from his forehead, straightened his very best yellow power tie, swallowed hard, and confidently strode forward into battle. He was very pleased with his overall air of self-confidence that he managed to exude, right up until the time he bumped into the secretary’s desk with his professionally-looking, oversized, and practically empty simulated leather brief case. The sole content of said brief case was one lonely resume’ of Paris Pearson, double-spaced and properly formatted with Calibri 14 font for easy reading. Paris wondered why he even bothered to bring it with him. His personal resume’ was long on biographical fluff" and very short on experience.

I’m so sorry Ma’am. While in mid-apology, he pulled a tissue from her strategically-placed box of Kleenex and began to dab the spilled coffee on her otherwise immaculate desk. No problem Mr. Pearson, I was almost finished with my coffee anyway. Please, go on in. I’ve got this.

Paris entered the office of Deacon John Simms, Senior Advisor for the Pastoral Search Committee. Paris was no longer a young minister applying for the position of Pastor at Way of Grace Christian Fellowship. He was an 11-year-old that had been sent to the principal’s office for correction. Deacon Simms rose from his chair and greeted the nervous pastoral candidate with a heartfelt welcome and a very strong hand shake.

Please come on in. Have a seat, and we’ll get started. The older gentleman seated himself, took a copy of Paris’ resume off of the giant stack of other potential candidates, and familiarized himself with a brief scan of Paris’ professional life. It didn’t take long!

So, your name is Paris Pearson. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone named Paris. That’s a name we certainly don’t hear every day. No sir. I’m certainly not someone you’d meet every day. As soon as the words left his mouth, Paris cringed. What was he thinking? Did he want this guy to think he is some kind of weirdo, a space alien, an oddity of the human race?

Paris had always hated his name. Not like some folks who just dislike their name; he hated the sound of his name as it rolled off the tongue of every one that he had ever been introduced to. He had no idea what his parents were thinking when they hung the name Paris on him. It was obvious that his parents had never been to Paris. It was just as unlikely that a family from Tennessee would name their child after spinning a globe, and with a quick glance at France, say: That’s it! We’ll name him Paris. That being the case, Paris thought he should be grateful that his parents’ globe-spinning efforts stopped in France instead of Czechoslovakia, Ethiopia, or China. This is our Son, Peking. He shuddered internally at how close he came to that little episode becoming his life’s reality show.

He also wished his parents had considered the impact of what his initials would be. PP for Paris Pearson was an open invitation for every school-aged child’s open ridicule and mockery. He remembered that very dark day he discovered his initials would be an even greater source of hilarity for all of those little kids with a keen sense of potty humor. Thank You, Mom and Dad!

I see here that you are married with two children? Yes sir, that’s correct. My wife, Becky, and I have a son, Sean age six, and our daughter Sarah is four. And, we have a dog named Chaplain. We call him Chap, and to be honest with you, I don’t know how old he is. He was a rescue. Paris once again was treated to a lecture from his inner council. Paris recognized his inner council at a very young age. This council served as an internal advisory committee that had always served as a sounding board for any and all of Paris’ responses in all of those key moments of his life.

You told him about the dog? Really? You don’t know how old he is? What are you thinking? The internal council decided to move to code yellow. It was obvious that Paris was not handling the pressure of the interview very well.

Oh my, you certainly have your work cut out for you! Deacon Simms quipped.

Yes, indeed I do. That is to say we do. My wife plays a very important part in our family. Once again, the council hears his words bouncing around and echoing in those empty recesses of his mind. They quickly move to code red and offer a very quick assessment of his previous statement of fact: Well of course she’s an important part of your family! The kids wouldn’t be here without her; and, you certainly wouldn’t be a family if you hadn’t married her. Come on Paris, think before you speak!"

Deacon Simms smiled and leaned back in his chair looking a little envious at the young man that sat on the other side of the desk. Enjoy these days young man, they go by quickly. Take my word for it.

I certainly will.

Well, let’s see…you have served as Youth Minister, Associate Pastor, and as an Assistant Ministries Director for Senior Outreach. Oh, I see here that you are with my good friend, Brother Campbell, over at Bethel Christian Fellowship. He’s a great man to train under.

Yes, Sir, that’s correct. I’ve certainly learned a lot under his supervision.

I would imagine that a man of your age would have your hands full ministering to Seniors. I would think that this would be a difficult group for you to relate to.

Actually, I found this group to be very accepting of my ministry. They are very gracious and very accepting of my pastoral care. They love my wife, and they immediately took on the role of honorary grandparents to my two children.

Brother Paris, you do realize the position of pastor is unlike any position that you have held so far in your ministerial career? The pastor of a church with ministerial duties is pretty much where the responsibility for all things rest. Finances, church program, pastoral care, pulpit ministry; all of these responsibilities fall solely upon the shepherd of the flock. It is not always easy to lead God’s people while being led by God. You remember Moses, right?

Deacon, I’m well aware of my limitations. I’m confident that in that stack of resumes on your desk, there have to be candidates that far outshine me in experience, ability, and scholarship. I am, however, confident in the fact that just like the Moses you made mention of, God is the One who is able to take a willing vessel out of obscurity, move him from the backside of the desert, and do magnificent things for His kingdom; as a faithful servant.

Well said. Paris, I appreciate you coming in today. I will be meeting with the board soon to offer my recommendations for the final selections, so we will be in touch.

Thank you for your time Deacon. I look forward to hearing from you.

Oh, by the way Paris, do you have a middle name? I did not see it in your resume’.

Yes, I do, and there’s a reason it’s not included. It’s actually Paris Ulford Pearson.

Well that’s certainly different! Your initials are P.U.P. Deacon chuckled softly under his breath.

Whether PP or PUP, I’m hoping that will make me a candidate that’s hard to forget.

Your point is well-taken young man. the Deacon said with a smile. Thanks so much for coming in; we’ll be in touch.

Even the inner council agreed with Paris, that they too, believed the interview had actually gone very well. However, Paris and the council both were quick to agree that he probably should have left his dog out of the conversation.

42254.png    CHAPTER 3

Hark! I Hear the

Ringing of the Phone!

"HONEY, IF YOU WERE THE Deacon’s choice for Way of Grace, don’t you think he would have contacted you by now? I mean after all it has been three weeks since your interview." Becky once again tried in vain to offer Paris solace regarding what everybody else saw as painfully obvious; he did not get the job.

Becky, you never can tell how this process works. Maybe he tried to call and I was in the shower; and my phone needed charging; and there might have been a power shortage just when Deacon Simms called. Paris had recited his hypothetical situation with such sincerity, he appeared to almost believe it himself.

Paris, I have every confidence that you are going to fulfill your calling in God’s timing and in God’s perfect location. Maybe this just wasn’t His best fit for you.

Just about the time that Paris was about to launch out into the deep with another fabulous hypothetical scenario, his phone rang. Becky! It’s Deacon Simms! He’s calling me to let me know that I received the appointment!

Well, don’t you think you ought to answer it?

Yes, I…uh, hello. This is Paris Pearson calling…I mean on the phone.

Brother Pearson, this is Deacon Simms calling for the search committee for Way of Grace Church.

Yes Deacon, how are you today?

I’m fine. Paris, I want you to know that we at Way of Grace were very impressed with your resume and your personal interview…

Well thank you. I’m very appreciative of the opportunity to meet you and interview.

Well, Paris, this is really a courtesy call to let you know that we have decided on another candidate that we feel is a better fit for the position. I do, however, know of another church that is looking for a pastor and I took the liberty of giving them your number to contact you. I think you’d be a very good candidate for their church.

Thank you so much, Deacon. Can you tell me a little about this other church? Paris felt his heart begin to race. How in the world do you go from disappointment to ecstatic joy in 60 seconds? Paris was about to find out.

This church is a great opportunity for a young minister. It’s a country church with a long track record of faithful service to God and their community. Their pastor of 25 years has just retired from pulpit ministry at the age of 85, and the people are anxious to begin a new chapter in their legacy for the Lord.

Wow! I mean Praise the Lord, that sounds just like the kind of church I would love to minister in. If I may ask, what church is this, and where is it located?

Well, the church is Rock Solid Community Church in Jericho Falls.

Thank you so much, Deacon, I truly appreciate this wonderful opportunity to interview. Paris bubbled over with joy at yet another prospective assignment.

Well, Paris, you are certainly welcome. I will be praying for you.

Having completed the most exciting phone call of his life, Paris ran to his wife in the kitchen and exclaimed:

It’s not over until somebody tells me it’s over!

Do what? Did you get the appointment? she asked excitedly.

No, but I feel really good about this next interview that Brother Simms has arranged for me! Way of Grace is a well-established church with a large congregation, great mission outreach, and a fabulous reputation in the community…right?

Paris, Honey, I’m confused. Are you saying that you’re happy that you didn’t get this position? Becky stared at Paris in absolute bewilderment.

Becky, this church is too big for me to take on as a first-time pastorate. I’m truly feeling good about this next possible assignment. It sounds perfect for us!

No sooner than those prophetic, faith-filled words fell from his lips, his phone rang. Much to Paris’ delight, it was a number he did not recognize.

Paris managed to stifle his excitement just long enough to answer the phone in his very best Sunday morning preacher’s voice:

Hello, this is Paris Pearson.

"Is this the Reverend Paris Pearson?" asked the voice on the end of the line.

Why, yes, it is. Paris squared his shoulders as if the caller could actually see his professional pulpit posture through the phone.

Pastor, my name is Cletus Cutlow and I am the chairman of the pastoral search committee for Rock Solid Community Church.

So good to hear from you, Mr. Cutlow. Brother Simms said that I might be receiving a call from you.

Yes, well as you probably already figured, we are looking for a new pastor for our fine church now that Brother Waygone has retired. We would like to invite you to come and preach a trial sermon at the church so we can see if you might possibly be a good fit for our church.

Mr. Cutlow, I would be honored to take you up on that invitation to come and minister to all of the fine folks at Solid Rock.

Well, that’s great, but our name is actually Rock Solid Church.

Oh, I am so sorry Mr. Cutlow. It’s just a natural thing for me to say Solid Rock because of the Biblical reference. Paris began to feel his hands go sweaty as he gripped his phone with all of his might.

Well, we believe in the Bible references as well, and we believe when it comes to the Word of God, we ought to be Rock Solid.

Mr. Cutlow offered his defense in a dry monotone voice. Try as he might, Paris couldn’t get a read on Mr. Cutlow’s response. Was he upset? Did he take Paris’ remark as an insult? What a time not to have the gift of discernment!

Mr. Cutlow, there is not a doubt in my mind that you and your fine folks are the perfect picture of what the Lord would have His church to be.

Paris replayed his response in his head and hoped with all of his heart that he had pulled himself out of the fire.

If that were the case young man, I doubt we would actually need a preacher. With that response the elderly gentleman chuckled and provided Paris an opportunity to breathe a sigh of relief that the nervous candidate felt sure could be heard in the next county.

Well, Reverend… we will expect you at the church this Sunday. We have morning worship at 11:00 a.m. and just so you know, punctuality is very important to all of us at Rock Solid.

Punctuality is my middle name. Did that sound right? I look forward to the opportunity and I will be there with bells on.

Well, OK, we’ll see you this Sunday. Mr. Cutlow hung up the phone with a hasty good bye.

Let the discussions begin! Paris calls to order another one of those internal real time council meetings. The purpose of this discussion was to evaluate, review, and second-guess all that he had just said. Why in the world did you say that you would be there with bells on? What are you a cat? Paris recalled the words of Moses upon receiving his call to Egypt: I am a man of slow speech and a slow tongue… Exodus 4:10. Paris prayed right then and there that the Lord would help him receive the gift of slow speech and an even slower tongue. Oh, and while we’re at it Lord, Please grant me the gift of knowledge, so I may know when to shut up. Amen!

It was then he remembered the words of one of his professors from Bible College: When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging. I should have paid more attention in class to that man’s teaching. Paris murmured to himself. The council whole-heartedly agreed.

42254.png    CHAPTER 4

There’s No Business…

Like Snow Business

AFTER WHAT SEEMED AN ETERNITY, Sunday finally arrived. The Pearson family had been filled with great anticipation, tempered with sheer terror. This was it, the day of reckoning. This would be the culmination of years of invested blood, sweat, and tears. The days of supervising car washes, fried chicken sales, roller skating parties, and youth lock-ins, were now behind him. Nevermore, would he be the preacher that would get the call to fill in at a Ladies Auxiliary meeting, perform non-member weddings, baby dedications, and oversee craft fairs. The Paris Pearson family was about to move into the major leagues. This could be the first day of the rest of their lives; or possibly just another one of those character-building exercises they were so accustomed to. He took comfort in knowing that at least he would have a chance to present his case to a congregation instead of a one-man search committee. Paris couldn’t sleep, so he had risen early to make all of the preparations for a successful introduction to the Rock Solid congregation. He returned to his darkened bedroom to update Becky on his progress.

Becky, I’ve picked out the kid’s clothes for church this morning and I laid them at the foot of their bed.

Becky tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes as she glanced around the darkened bedroom in search of the iridescent glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand.

What time is it? Did I oversleep? Becky bolted upright in the bed, groggy from her sudden and rude awakening.

No, honey, it’s 5:30, but I just couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would help you by getting the kids ready for church. Paris stood smiling in the dark awaiting his wife’s words of appreciation.

You’re helping me? Oh, for crying out loud Paris! We’re only 20 minutes away from the church and we don’t even need to be there until 10:30!

Yes, dear, but you know how important punctuality is to me.

Since when Paris? Since this morning at 5:30 a.m.! If you want to make a successful first impression, I would advise you to let me go back to sleep until the alarm clock sounds. With a quick turn, Becky disappeared under the covers.

I guess I’ll go work some more on my sermon, Paris responded sheepishly.

I think that would be your safest option! Paris was not able to hear his wife’s last muffled comment which came from somewhere deep under a mountain of bed linens; but he thought it best not to explore any further conversation at this present time.

Paris walked quietly into his office and picked up his Bible and message outline. This had better be the very best message I’ve ever preached, he thought to himself. It was a very difficult process Paris had gone through in order to select just the right message. He decided that he would not preach one of his top