Inner-Reflections: An Inside-Out Journey of Self-Realization

By Kamran Tork

Inner-Reflections is a collection of contemplative challenges to help you break free of the restrictive effects of mind habits and default thinking. From the extremes of reactive anger and bigotry to limitations of low self-esteem and fear, mind habits can control all aspects of our lives, relationships, and potential for growth. This is not a quick read. It is "a coffee break for the mind" a time to pay attention to mind patterns and mull it over through the day. you are encouraged to write in this book noting your reactions to each reading and how it reflects on your own life experiences. Gradually as you work your way through the readings you will come to recognize and learn to control your reactive responses and be able to manage change and challenges with a clear vision and understanding of the best way forward.
Inner-Reflections shares many of the insights discussed in Kamran Tork's EQ & Self-Reflective group coaching sessions and makes them available to anyone who is actively trying to break themselves out of the control of overactive mind habits... Through its series of contemplations, the reader will come to a greater understanding of their thought processes and respond more effectively to the challenges of daily life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982256357

Kamran Tork

Kamran Tork is an experienced Executive Coach, with over 20 years of international work experience in diverse functions including operations, consulting and coaching in Canada, Malaysia and UAE. His core expertise lies in the development of human capital to enhance organizational performance. He has a deep interest in the areas of executive career coaching, emotional intelligence and mindfulness practices for leadership and professionals. Kamran Tork received his degree in Economics from the University of Toronto, Canada. He has been certified in a number of leadership development assessment tools including Leadership Circle Profile 360, MBTI, WPB5, CCL 360 Benchmarks, Baron EQ-i, FIRO-B, Corporate Mindfulness, Career Anchor, and Career Leader. He is a Professional Certified Coach PCC from the International Coach Federation ICF. He moved to Dubai in 2008 where he pioneered the introduction of Mindfulness Practices to leadership development programs. Over the years since, Kamran Tork has been working on number of leadership development initiatives with the government of Dubai, as well as renowned business schools and large international organizations providing executive coaching support to mid-senior level clients. From his base in Dubai, Kamran Tork has coached and supported clients globally including Insead Business School, Roche, Merck Serono, Weatherford, Nokia, LinkedIn, London Business School, HSBC, Nissan, Richemont, Lee Hecht Harrison, Votorantim Cimentos, J&J, Pepsi, Microsoft, Nestle, ADIA, Serco, Center for Creative Leadership, MBRPLD, and Ashridge Business School.

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Copyright © 2020 Kamran Tork.

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and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

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people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use

of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-5634-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-5635-7 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date:   10/26/2020

CONTENTS

I.   REFLECTIONS

The Trees

Inner-Reflections

Oneness & Joy

The Inner House

Traffic

Litter

Burden

Loss And I

II.   THE ENERGY DRAINERS

Preference, Attachment & Unhappiness

Indecisiveness & Procrastination

Stressed 7 Out Of 10

Fantastic Confusion

Mind Trap

Freeing The Mind

Being Present

Dead-End

Wanting

When Stressed Say I Want To Hear Your Point Of View

III.   MIND HABITS TO WATCH FOR

Past Thinking Mind-Habit

Future Thinking Mind-Habit

If Only Mind-Habit

Controlling Mind-Habit

Self-Sabotaging Mind-Habit

Distracted Mind-Habit

Sticky Mind-Habit

Sparring Mind-Habit

Good/Bad Thinking Mind-Habit

When And How To Say No

IV.   VISION

Vision

Going To The Dogs

Breaking Through Mundane

Soar

Career Progress An Inside-Out Journey

From Problem To Purpose

V.   CAREER REFLECTIONS

Follow The Gold, Money Will Come

Career Transiton A Heroic Journey

How To Find My Career Path?

Purpose Driven Work

Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?

VI.   ENHANCING PERCEPTION

Mindfulness Chaeges Your Mindset

Perception: How We Create Our Own Circumstances

Gold In The Negative

Are New Year Resolutions Meant To Be Broken!

Paradox Zone

Meeting Habits With Self-Awareness

Surfing Difficulties Mindfully

Solitude

Words

Past And Future

Birth Of Unhappiness, Ending Of Unhappiness

Spacious-Mind

PREFACE

Knowing Yourself Is The Beginning of Wisdom

- Aristotle

Stop and contemplate for a moment the ways our minds’ reactions impact every part of our lives - our work, our relationships, our health, our dreams. All are influenced by the quality of our thoughts and emotions.

There is not a single area that is left untouched by our minds, yet, for most of us, we know more about our mobile phones and cars than our minds.

This book is meant to serve as a map for the workings of the mind and its default habits. As we develop a better awareness of our default settings, we open ourselves to the realization of new capacities that previously were left hidden.

Each section of the book is designed to familiarize you with the hidden limiting habits of your mind and make them visible. As you shine the light of awareness on these habits, you can loosen their control and find new ways to experience the challenges you encounter. A liberated mind experiences the calm and wholeness which is what we all desperately strive for in these trying times.

After you read each section, ponder on it for a day or two, turning it over in your mind to see how the situation relates to your own personal life experiences. Use the My Notes blank pages to write your learnings and insights. At the end of each week, review your notes to see if they are beginning to reveal an even deeper awareness of the perils of handing the management of your life to the autopilot control of the mind.

Week by week, you will start to develop a true understanding of your emotional intelligence and have a new relationship with the world around you, as you replace the old default mind habits with a new sense of understanding, vision, and empowerment.

Come with me on a journey of self-discovery to find the more empowered you and the path to wisdom.

Kamran Tork

Author, Experienced Professional Certified Coach

SECTION I

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REFLECTIONS

THE TREES

After a few days of rain, the sun was out, beaming through high-rise buildings and offices. And inside, from behind the window one felt its warmth on the skin. There seemed to be more people on the street that day. However, that warmth could not disguise the arrival of the fall. Already there were fewer flowers in the gardens, and more leaves were decorating the sidewalks in their yellow, orange, and brilliant reds transforming the bare gray cement into a colorful tapestry.

Every now and then a breeze brushed through the treetops. A few leaves would separate, spin, and tumble down unhurriedly with poise - whirling, floating, descending, landing and some lingering there silently. The stronger winds were more unsettling, forcefully shaking the small branches, throwing them into a frenzy. In protest they made much noise, stroking and clattering their leaves and branches loudly, their whining continued to be heard from some distance away.

We, humans, are not unlike trees. Outer events and happenings can disturb us too, both physically and mentally. A comment, a smell, a noise or our judgment of an event out there, can agitate and disturb our mind, throwing us into a frenzy of associative and obsessive thinking. Mesmerized by their speed and repetition, and deceived by their authenticity, we become vulnerable to their strong charge. The peace of mind is lost. Depending on their hold on us, we may prove incapable of finding the off switch. Have you noticed how some thoughts intrude and fixate your attention for hours, or spin on endlessly in spite of your best intention to entertain them no more? One may retreat to bed for distraction, some sleep or rest but to no avail.

Besides our thoughts, events can adversely affect our emotions too. It is not uncommon that our sense of well-being be at the mercy of an event with its peculiar feelings and felts. Some positive, some negative. For instance, as we leave home, a sunny day makes us excited, but no sooner have we pulled out of the parking space, the driving and the traffic can make us agitated and angry. A friend or colleague’s praise or positive comment makes us feel good, but their criticism leaves us hurt and irritated for days. No wonder by the end of the day we feel depleted and exhausted. As long as outside events and stimuli determine and influence our thoughts and emotions, like a seesaw up and down we go.

By now the wind had picked up. Looking closely, while leaves and branches were shaken and stirred in the wind, the tree-trunk remained unmovable and grounded. We can similarly learn to be more grounded and undisturbed in the face of what happens around us if we care to not inhabit our heads or be identified with its thoughts. By directing and maintaining part of our attentiveness with our breath or physical posture, we see that our mind and bodywork and influence each other. We discover that when we inhabit our bodies, the flow of thoughts, fantasies, imaginations, and worries do not affect us as much. Even more, we learn to work with our minds and not be influenced by each passing event. We can then participate in our daily tasks and work from this calmer, more centered but yet more awake, alert, and energized state.

Just when the surface of the lake can be disturbed by the blowing wind or throw of a pebble, below the surface the lake remains calm and undisturbed.

What thoughts push you off center?

Name 3 activities that reconnect you to the calm within?

My Notes

INNER-REFLECTIONS

Early in the evening as the sun retreats in the distant west, from behind the buildings a red moon stealthy and gently rises. Blushing and shy, no sooner had it appeared that it hid behind a thin veil of clouds, visible now and again from between the patches. Across from the parking lot, on a rooftop, the previous day’s rain had formed a pool. And in that pool hidden from the passer-by eyes, the moon floated, reflected, appeared, and disappeared. Very near, twenty or so pigeons sat closely in a row watching in silence and stillness.

If we could see our reflections in a mirror, what would we see? Of course, I am not talking about our outer appearances or reflections, but inner ones. I don’t know if you have done this or not, but if you sat as quietly as those pigeons and watched the inner scenery of passing images, judgments, problems, solutions, desires, dislikes, regrets, hopes, positive thoughts, negative thoughts, neutral thoughts that rush through one’s mind from dawn to dusk and during