Wisdom Is a Gift: A Guide to Preserving Family Stories

By Michele Trent

Family memories reside in the minds and hearts of our loved ones. When those close to us eventually pass on, their stories are lost. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. By preserving the stories of those you love, priceless family history lives on. Future generations deserve to hear from those who have gone before them, and those we love, deserve to be known. Let this book be your guide to preserving family stories. Inside, you’ll find step-by-step instructions, an abundance of conversation-starting questions, and the encouragement needed to complete your story project.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 18, 2020
• ISBN: 9781973689867

Michele Trent

Michele Trent is the owner and founder of Remembered Well, a story preservation business. She began Remembered Well after recording her father during his final weeks of life and realizing what a gift it is to have his stories saved. It’s her hope that this book encourages others to engage in heartfelt conversations that create generational connections. In addition to helping families capture priceless memories, Michele is a speaker and storytelling advocate. Her evolving life story is filled with a delightful cast of characters, including her husband, Bob, daughters, Marina and Dasha, and her beloved extended family. The current chapter, “Grandparenting,” is proving to be one of her favorites.

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Copyright © 2020 Michele Trent.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

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without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-8987-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8988-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8986-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020907063

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/21/2020

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgment

Introduction

Part 1 Lessons from My Dad

Part 2 Recording Your Stories

Planning

Interviewing

Recording

Timing

Sharing

Part 3 Questions to Guide the Conversation

Early childhood

Youth (school days)

College/military/starting out

Early adulthood

Building a family

Career/business

Retirement

Current situation

Wisdom/reflection

Dedication

Thank you, Dad, for fearlessly sharing your stories with me and for creating a path for future generations to know you. And, thank you to all those who have, and may yet share your stories with me. Your wisdom is a precious gift.

Acknowledgment

This book would not be possible without friends and family cheering me on. Thank you to my husband for supporting me as I attempted to put into words what’s been rattling around in my head. Thank you to Sheri for listening as I revealed this crazy idea to write a book, and for reading the rough first draft. Thank you to my mom, sister, and niece for diligently reading, editing, and offering suggestions for improvement. I am immensely grateful for you all and so many others who encourage me and inspire me every day.

Introduction

The luckiest man I had ever known was in the Mayo Clinic hospital—again. His cancer, which had been in remission, had returned with a vengeance. He’d beaten the odds before, and I knew he would do it again. He was my dad. He had already outlived many projections, and at the time, he was in a clinical trial. Trials can be wildly successful, right? He would rally. Cancer couldn’t defeat him. Someday, I was sure, we would look back on this anxious time and remark, Lucky Jim. Did it again.

Then the call came.

I was at work when my mom informed me that the doctors wanted to talk to the family at two o’clock. They’d never done this before. What was up? A new trial maybe? I dropped everything and raced to the Mayo Clinic.

When we gathered, the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do for him. They estimated he would live no more than two weeks. My dad—a constant and calming presence in my life—was slipping away. He might not have been a hands-on father like the type we see portrayed in today’s Hollywood movies, but he was always reachable—just a phone call away. Children take it for granted that their parents will always be there. I was no exception. The idea of either parent not being around was unimaginable, yet these doctors were telling us that this was the future. My dad’s days were numbered—not in the abstract but very specifically numbered.

What would you do if you were in this situation—if a person you loved was slipping away from you? If you knew he or she wouldn’t be around for the next family barbecue or another Christmas? When that person was brimming with wisdom and yet would not live to share it with future generations? Would not see his or her grandchildren get married? Would never hold a great-grandchild?

What do you do?

I was desperate to save a piece of my dad. It was my husband, Bob, who came up with the idea to record my father. By recording him, we would preserve his voice and save all the stories we could. I was nervous. Would he agree to do this? Would he even have the strength? But as I said, I was desperate, and so I asked him. To my relief, my dad loved the idea. He had little to look forward to, and this was a welcome diversion. When you’re sitting in a hospital bed, you feel wholly unproductive. This was something valuable he could still contribute to. This was a chance to live on in some form.

I asked him every question I could think of, and he shared every story he could remember. It is not an exaggeration to say that I learned more about my dad in those final days than I had in my entire life. I learned about his youth. We revisited his adult years, and I heard his side of our shared experiences. Even though he was my dad, my child’s viewpoint of our shared memories was very different from his. His memories were filtered through responsibility. He was a breadwinner. I was a child.

Like most people, my dad enjoyed reminiscing and sharing his favorite stories. Since the recording of my father, I’ve learned why this is. There is science behind it, but this was not a feel-good journey; this was a search-and-rescue mission. It was a search for the memories and stories that made up this amazing man and an attempt to rescue these missives for future generations. I will never adequately be able to describe him, and my hope was that he could describe himself.

He did.

My dad’s journey ended on July 29, 2016, but my family will forever have his recorded stories. When I need to hear my dad, I can. It’s a far cry from having him here, but it is priceless nonetheless. Hearing him describe my mom as a fox or him describe himself as a young cock of the walk gives me precious insight into who he was before I ever entered the picture. He was a rough and ready boy, a studious student, an athlete, a frisky young man, a committed husband, and an adventurous entrepreneur who ended up fearlessly starting over late in life.

There is much to be learned from my dad’s life, and that is true of any of our lives. We don’t escape our trials without gaining wisdom along the way. My dad was a father, yet he was mostly uninvolved with actually raising my sister and