What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do: Practical Steps to Find Your Way

By Vealer Marie Harris

I don’t believe in accidents, so the fact that you are reading this book is proof that you are searching for your next step in life. It doesn’t matter why you are stuck. You may be at the end of a relationship or a job. Maybe you’re struggling with understanding who you are, or what you’re supposed to accomplish in this world. Maybe you’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, or hurt, and you’re having trouble finding your way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728331089

Vealer Marie Harris

Vealer M. Harris has weathered many storms in her life, and through each one, she managed to come out stronger on the other side. From her experiences, she gained more wisdom, and she has always loved using that wisdom to give advice to others. “What to do when you don’t know what to do” is the culmination of her dream to reach thousands around the world in need of reassurance and understanding that there’s light at the end of the tunnel – you just have to hang in there. Each chapter revolves around an experience she has had, each with a clear-cut message – a life lesson – illustrating how to handle the particular life challenge. For Vealer wants her book to be an inspirational call to action for every reader. Born in Shreveport and brought up in Bossier City Louisiana, Vealer was raised by her mother after her father was killed. Coming home from school one day to find out her father was murdered pulled the rug from under her young life and fundamentally changed the life of Vealer along with her four siblings and mother. Life would be tough, but each event was a learning experience that shaped her life.

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2019 Vealer Marie Harris. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/11/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3110-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3109-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3108-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019916091

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Public Domain

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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To my courageous mother for her guidance and support.

To my family and friends, who believed in and encouraged me throughout this writing process.

I am forever thankful for all of your unconditional love and support.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Find Your Core

Chapter 2 Balance Your Ego

Chapter 3 Seek Divine Wisdom

Chapter 4 Service

Chapter 5 Fierce, Fabulous, and Broke

Chapter 6 It’s Okay to Be You

Chapter 7 Build a Solid Foundation

Chapter 8 Preparation Meets Opportunity

Chapter 9 Own Your Journey

Chapter 10 The Test: Sacrifice

Chapter 11 The Golden Rule

Chapter 12 Know Your Worth

Chapter 13 Nirvana: Expect the Unexpected

About the Author

Introduction

My life was in shambles when I started writing this book. I was a wreck! A reality check was due. I needed a one-on-one with God and the core of my being, my inner self.

One morning, while walking, I thought about my past and my future. I thought about choices I had made, good ones and bad. What really matters? What was I thinking? How did I get here? All the why me thoughts were racing through my mind. Finally, reality forced me to accept that my unhappiness stemmed from poor choices I had made, one after another. But how would I move forward from here, and which direction would I take? Just because you have a revelation doesn’t mean you know what the next step is. I clearly did not.

My life required immediate changes, and I wasn’t sure I was capable of doing it at the time. I needed a home run, but I felt like I was still stumbling around on first base and the last batter was up. In the past, I had allowed failures, fear, people, and circumstances to keep me from reaching my destination.

Internally, something was happening. I knew I had to get it right this time. I had to find the courage within to free myself from other people’s opinions and society’s standards. After my walk, it took ten minutes to catch my breath and a lot of tissues to soak up the tears. It seemed as though I had been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sometimes we seek comfort in distractions, but they are only a temporary fix. I love to shop, but I realized I couldn’t buy direction, courage, or clarity in a package or bottle.

I was at a crossroads, and it was time for me to take a step forward, to become who I was created to be.

Life plays out on a stage for others to see on a daily basis. Often, we care more about what others think of our lives than what we do. Many of us create stress in our lives trying to live up to society’s idea of success, all while we are dying inside.

In our desperate quest to be accepted by others, we reduce ourselves, we lose ourselves, and we forget our worth. Some of us maybe never realized our worth in the first place.

I don’t believe in accidents, so the fact that you are reading this book is proof that you are searching for your next step in life. It doesn’t matter why you are stuck. You may be at the end of a relationship or a job. Maybe you’re struggling with understanding who you are or what you’re supposed to accomplish in this world. Maybe you’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, or hurt, and you’re having trouble finding your way.

This book is about finding your way. It’s about new beginnings, next steps, and building the confidence necessary to achieve exactly what you were created for.

It is my prayer that as you embark on this hero’s journey, you will gain the clarity and courage necessary to own your ambition, find your path, and remain committed to the end. We stand together, not divided, as one mind, one body, and one soul, the true body of Christ.

1

Find Your Core

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths.

—Proverbs 3:6 (KJV)

To know and accept that God is the all, the source, the great I am, is first. Second is to know that everything that happens in our lives is for his purpose and according to his plan.

When I first considered writing this book, I wanted to keep it as simple and authentic as possible. I wanted to write something that would appeal to everyone, regardless of age or stage in life, religion, or race. My goal was to share a message that would have the ability to spark immediate change—to reach the core.

Throughout the course of our lives, for one reason or another, we fall off the path of our journey. Somehow, each in our own way, we suffer from a sort of paralysis that tries to prevent us from finding our way back to God and to the core of our true identity.

The person we were created to be gets buried beneath all the layers we’ve allowed to pile up throughout the years of our existence.

As we go about our lives, we start careers, we find love, and we lose love. There are births, deaths, and toxic relationships. At times, we surround ourselves with spirit robbers (covered later in the book), we live above our means, and we think very little about our decisions or how they are paving our future. We sleepwalk through life, experiencing it as it happens and half expecting it to last forever.

Except it doesn’t.

When bad things start to unfold and take various shapes and forms in our lives, we often sit back as if we were watching a scary movie, taking it all in instead of picking up the remote and changing the channel or shutting the power off.

Attention alert: we really can do something! These are our lives, and we have control of them. We’ve all taken credit for the good things that happen in our lives, haven’t we? Well, what about the bad? We generally blame those things on luck, the devil, the economy, or someone else. We flee from our responsibility and account for nothing. Doesn’t this sound silly?

Why didn’t we change the channel when we felt uneasy? The first step here is to gain a true understanding that we are responsible.

Whatever is happening in our lives right now is the result of choices we made (or did not make) in prior decisions. When we’re ready to be accountable for our lives—the good and the bad—we can begin to do something about changing the directions our lives have taken.

Imagine for a moment that your body is a car and you are the driver. An omnipresent force serves as the GPS. Let’s refer to this GPS as a spiritual GPS. It is all-knowing. It knows the path you must travel to get to your destination. You enter the address into the GPS. The address to your destination is your goal. Now you begin traveling, and you’re familiar with certain landmarks, shortcuts, and side roads from past trips. This is similar to how life works. As we move out into the world, we sometimes choose the roads that look easier or that we are more familiar with.

While you are on the course of your journey, the GPS instructs you to make all right turns. As you are approaching the first right