Soul Mate's Journey

By Lauren Greysen

Becca Roberts had dreamed of a soul mate since childhood, but fate brought heartbreak instead. Now as she lies nearly unconscious, not sure if she’s dying or dreaming, her thoughts are haunted with loss and regrets. Becca knows in order to survive, she’ll need to transform herself, but the fight within her is gone. As her heart breaks for what might have been, Becca closes her eyes and welcomes the darkness.

But could a past love give Becca a reason to go on? If David Holman has anything to say about it, it will. Though he hasn’t seen Becca in many years, he’s never forgotten her. David wants his own happy ending, and he wants it with her. But if they are to be together, David and Becca will have to find a way to change the future, and that journey may be too difficult even for true love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 25, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796058109

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

She never saw it coming, the devastating blow that struck her head. How could Becca have known that today her life would be changed forever? She had plans for her future. But now as she lay there drifting in and out of consciousness, she saw only a glimpse of the dream. During that half second, Becca felt her heart crack, realizing what she’d just lost. Though her life had been full of struggles, Becca Roberts was a fighter who’d won every battle in her world of trials and tribulations. It was too terrible to believe all her efforts had been for a lost cause. Suddenly, she was aware of the sharp pain in her head and deliriously began worrying she would be disfigured. What’s happening to my face? It feels like it’s throbbing. It must be a serious head injury, she realized as she touched her warm, wet hair. She remembered being told that her blond curls and dark-blue eyes were her best features and wondered how different she would look from now on. Becca had left the house this morning as an attractive forty-five-year-old woman. Now lying helplessly on the ground with a cold blanket of dew soaking her backside, Becca realized she’d probably lost her beauty along with her dreams in that moment of impact. The loss of her future combined with her past regrets overwhelmed her. She allowed her subconscious mind to take over and lost herself in thoughts of times gone by. With a determination similar to obsession, she began to fantasize about what might have been.

Lying there injured, Becca’s mind flooded with forgotten memories of her youth. She saw herself at twelve years old, and as the vision floated in her mind, she could hear her young voice saying, Excuse me, could you spare any change? Becca realized she was standing on the sidewalk of the corner store with her cousin Sally, asking passersby for money. Becca had learned how to beg by the time she was twelve, but it wasn’t very successful, and she often went hungry. I hate this. People are avoiding us, she commented to Sally. I know, Sally responded as they ducked out of sight from the clerk’s view, but they still needed to eat. Sally was the one Becca spent most of her youth with; they did everything together, even becoming delinquents. Having no money or friends at the time, they’d steal food from stores and even people’s homes. Becca lived at home with her mom, but Sally stayed with them most of the time. The girls had to rely on others, and that resulted in circumstances that were sometimes dangerous.

At fifteen, the girls already been exposed to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and even violence. Neither of their families had any financial stability. Becca’s mom and dad divorced when she was very young. Her father was living on the East Coast, and her mother didn’t tell him about their financial problems, so they went without the essentials most of the time. Although her mom worked, she didn’t make enough money to support them. Additionally, she had an active social life, which left Becca alone most of the time with the exception of Sally’s company. The unstable homelife led to even more inappropriate experiences than theft. Sally and Becca would hitchhike around the city with a public element that could be volatile and eye-opening. The ignorance of youth led to poor decision-making. Of course, it was risky to take rides from strangers or beg on the corner, but there wasn’t anyone around to tell them otherwise, so Becca continued to put herself at risk. But growing up this way gave her the ability to recognize deceit in others and taught her to use what advantages she could.

She could almost feel her eyelids flutter as the memories passed through her mind. Becca remembered the pain and heartache of those early years but chose not to rehash the emotional agony. Reflecting on them now would only add to her physical pain. Although she was semi-unconscious, she knew the place she needed to visualize was a happy one and chose to skip past her childhood memories to a better time. She’d been blessed with a handful of gifts—beauty, integrity, and an intelligence—that, combined with hard work, would propel her toward success. It would be a difficult life, but she kept her resolve to rise above the circumstance she’d been given. How these unique experiences had influenced her decisions as an adult, she couldn’t say for sure. She only knew that her knowledge of the evils in this world kept her searching for something better. All at once, Becca remembered how it felt to be that young again, and reflecting on those years seemed like reliving them. But she was watching them play out like a movie as a bystander.

Even though she’d grown up in a condition of poverty, her struggle fueled a strength to overcome her lifestyle. She would not become a helpless female. The years of suffering inspired ambitions for success in her career and relationships. However, maturing in an unusual environment led to an awareness and presumption about life that influenced her decisions for better or worse, and she was never sure which. As she survived her youth and became an adult, her life continued to be wrought with financial struggle and personal peril. Upon graduating high school, she managed to rent an apartment with money she earned her senior year by working after school. She had to find the income she needed to pay for her college education but decided she wouldn’t let it deter her.

Becca’s struggle with her education was only partly related to a lack of income. The absence of stability in her childhood hadn’t lent itself to a decent public school education. Though she hadn’t been aware of it at the time, she discovered upon entering college that her school-age education was sorely inadequate. She had to enroll in remedial college courses before she could begin to learn the subject matter for her career choice. She was determined to succeed no matter the obstacle, even if it took longer to graduate. If she had to work more hours, then she would. If she needed to find tutors for tough subject matters, she’d find them. She would not go through her life being helpless or forever struggling.

The hardships of poverty had solidified a resolve to determine her own fate and become independent, fueling a strength and commitment to keep trying. She was determined never to rely on others for basic needs again. That was what she’d tell herself each day as she worked wiping down tables, taking out the trash, and waiting on those who could afford to dine. Budgeting was tight, and there was a need to diligently count every penny. Groceries were always purchased based on cost, clothes were bought at the thrift store, and any leftover money was saved for unexpected expenses. But she still managed to give change to beggars whenever she could. The memories of being a hungry little girl were imprinted in her mind, fostering empathy for others. The long work hours and late-night studying made for a lonely lifestyle, and many years would go by before she connected with anyone that truly cared for her.

Becca took a deep breath just to make sure that she was still breathing, but then pain came rushing back over her, startling her like the sting of cold water thrown on her face. She realized there was no one around to hear her call out for help and no way to reach a phone. Surrendering to her predicament, she slipped back into her memories, allowing the pain to fade into the back of her mind. How did her life become so lonely? When had she lost all traces of love in her life, and when had she first found it? She searched her memories for its existence, but it eluded her. Surely she could remember a time when she was loved. But it seemed so long ago, like another life. Needing to find that place in her mind to escape the pain, she continued to rekindle her past, searching for the heat of passion. That which she’d searched to remember appeared in her life at twenty-three when Becca met the first man she’d fall in love with.

CHAPTER 2

Becca was out walking to the neighborhood video store on a summer evening when a stranger began following her. The streetlights were lit, but the road looked void of pedestrians. She noticed that he picked up his pace, so she started moving faster, dodging in and out of cars. He was getting closer, and she was becoming terrified. That was when she saw him, a man walking in the other direction. She didn’t recognize him but noticed he was tall and strong looking. Her heart jumped at the realization that she wasn’t completely alone with the scary stalker. Deciding to take a chance on him, she changed direction to put herself in his path. When he was close enough to hear her, she called out, There you are! She caught up with the stranger, put her arm around him, and kissed him on the cheek. He must have noticed the man following her and sensed something was wrong because he played along. Thankfully, it deterred the predator, who turned and walked off in the other direction. Thanks so much! Becca exclaimed.

Who was that after you? Did you know him? the man asked.

No, and I’m so sorry if I offended you. I live just down there but was afraid to lead him to my place, Becca explained as she pointed her trembling finger toward her street.

Let’s get you calmed down. There’s a pub on the corner where we can get a drink, and you can tell me what happened, he suggested. She went willingly with her savior, eager to unwind from the night’s distress.

Are you okay? Um, you didn’t tell me your name.

It’s Becca, Becca Roberts.

I’m Richard Jenson, he told her as they entered the pub. And I’m glad I was there tonight.

I hope I didn’t interrupt your plans, Richard.

Oh, no. I was just walking down by the pier. Using his arm, he motioned toward the pier, revealing his strong muscles and the tattoos on his forearm. I like to watch the sunset on evenings when I don’t have plans, especially when the weather is perfect like it is tonight.

I guess I just got lucky tonight then, she said, more to herself than to him.

I was glad to be there in the right place at the right time. He smiled. So where were you going anyway? Richard inquired.

I was headed to the video store to get a movie.

Don’t you have a car?

I do, but it’s such a nice night I thought I’d walk, but I won’t be doing that again, Becca answered, trying to smile.

Has anything like that ever happened to you before?

No, not to me, but it has to my cousin.

What happened, was she okay?

Yes, she managed to duck into a busy store, and the creep left her alone. You said you live around here. Becca asked, Were you born here?

Yes, and my family lives here too. What about you? Are you from here?

No, not originally, but I’ve been here a few years now. I was born in Denver, he said, but came out here to work and never left.

Is he a contradiction, she wondered. He’s obviously streetwise and even a roughneck with his faded muscle tee, tight jeans, and boots, but he seems kind and concerned.

Monterey is a beautiful place to live, he said, drawing her attention back to the conversation. You don’t have family here then?

No, but I have lots of friends, she answered.

You mentioned you did. Is your family with you? I mean do they live with you?

No, my mom and dad are in Pacific Grove, and I have a few cousins here too, but they live several miles away. My father had lived on the East Coast for quite some time, but he moved back a couple of years ago. It’s great to have him back in my life. The cousins are in this area though, which is good because we spend a lot of time together.

The conversation easily flowed between them, and nearly an hour and a half had passed in what felt like thirty minutes. They discussed music and movies and discovered they shared the same appreciation for both. Richard walked Becca to her apartment where she thought he might kiss her before they said good night. Unfortunately, she didn’t get to feel his perfectly curved lips on hers that night but realized he might have thought it wasn’t the right time considering how the evening had begun for her. He did ask for her phone number though, and that was a nice end to an evening that had begun so unpleasantly.

She awoke the next morning wondering when she would see him again. She had just met Richard but had hoped for a call from him today. Maybe she was wrong, but it sure seemed like he was interested. Later that day, he showed up at her apartment, seeming embarrassed as he tried to explain that he’d lost her phone number. I’m so glad you came by. Thanks again for yesterday, she said as she invited him in.

I thought you might like to go get that video you wanted, he offered. We could go together if you like, he asked.

Oh sure. That would be great. Then we can watch it together, she suggested, taking advantage of the opportunity. He drove her to the corner video store in his truck. It ran well but was kind of dirty and older looking, which prompted her assumption that he didn’t make much money. The memories of last night’s terror seemed faded now that he was with her, though, and it was a good feeling.

As they were walking up the stairs to her second-story apartment, she could feel Richard’s eyes on the curves of her shapely behind. She tried not to be bashful or act embarrassed when she turned to face him. As Becca invited him in, she realized her basket of clothes was still out on the couch. She had been doing laundry earlier but forgot about putting it away when she saw him on her porch. Her apartment was always clean since Becca liked organization, but today, he’d interrupted her by showing up unexpectedly. Um, why don’t you get the movie started while I get us a beer, she suggested. When he turned toward the television, Becca quickly put the basket of clothes in the closet and tossed some throw pillows on the couch before she got the beers. They sat down on the couch to watch the movie. Can I get you another beer? she offered as he sat his empty bottle on the coffee table.

Yeah sure, as long as you come back with it, he said teasingly. She brought his beer and sat down closer to him on the couch, accepting his flirting as an invitation. After the movie was over, she started a conversation, eager to know him better.

So what kind of work do you do, Richard?

I paint houses and do odd jobs.

Oh, kind of like a handyman in your spare time?

Yes, I guess it’s like that, but I stay really busy with my painting job. The sea air causes a lot of damage to paint, so houses are in need of repair often.

Oh, so was that your work truck we drove in tonight?

Yep, the air can damage vehicles too, so it makes sense for me to keep my work truck for now.

What do you do? I mean do you work?

Yes, I’m a waitress at Sherry’s Café, and I’m taking classes at Monterey Peninsula Community College. She told him of her dreams to be in advertising, her favorite cousin Sally, and her love of animals. She left out how hard life had been for her, knowing better than to share too much too soon.

He continued the conversation. I have a brother in Denver whom I don’t see very often, but I’d like to. I plan on going there if my work ever slows down. The window was open, and the evening breeze was blowing in. The air passed over her shoulder and gently played with her hair. Richard noticed her hair move and reached out to put it back in place with a very gentle touch. The warmth of his skin touched her neck and sent her heart racing. It’s getting late, and I need to get going, Richard said reluctantly.

Did you put my number in your pocket this time? she asked while walking him out.

Yes, and I won’t lose it again.

Great, she whispered as she smiled up at him expectantly. He leaned down to kiss her, and she willingly complied, experiencing chills on her neck that became warm tingles as they rolled over her entire body.

It was hard falling asleep that night. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, spending hours imagining being close to him and remembering the warmth of his lips on hers. He had a great beauty about him. He stood six foot, two inches tall with a tan, muscled body and sported shiny blond hair with sea-green eyes, eyes that Becca was lost in. There was something indefinable about his masculinity. He emulated strength and commanded attention. It all worked together in a way that made him seem irresistible. It seemed he found her attractive too. He had told her last night she was of perfect height and proportion. She didn’t really think of herself that way but accepted the compliment graciously. The two days it took for him to call and ask her to dinner seemed to last forever. Now as she prepared for her date, Becca took efforts to make an impression. She realized while waiting for him that she wasn’t sure how to be seductive without losing her pride and self-respect. She had to be everything and anything he wanted; it was the only way she knew to win him. She decided her best bet was some appealing clothing and alluring behavior, combined with her great personality of course. He’s going to be here soon, she realized when the clock chimed five. What to wear? She frantically searched her closet for just the right thing. She settled on a white cotton top with loose aqua-colored shorts, hoping they’d show off her shapely tan legs. Next, she fixed her hair. When she finished, she had twenty minutes left. She practiced good posture and how to sit attractively. Whoosh, whoosh! Her heart was racing inside of her head when she heard the knock on the door.

He showed up wearing a pair of tight jeans that looked fantastic on him. He wore a collared, striped fuchsia shirt tucked into the sexy jeans and finished his look with cowboy boots. He’s probably the only guy in the county who can wear pink and look more masculine, she thought to herself. Somehow, the bright-pink stripes brought out the color of his eyes and flattered his tan; he also had a full mustache that enhanced the roughneck image. He is going to steal my heart away if I don’t win his first, she realized as she absorbed his physical beauty. Dinner at the restaurant went well, but on the way home, Becca began worrying about his expectations. Will he kiss her again or want to play around? She didn’t think she’d refuse him knowing how being near him affected her. Richard came inside when they got back from the restaurant but only for a short time, just long enough to put his arms around her and kiss her intensely. She was so drawn to him that she found it hard to contain herself, aching to stay in his arms. She wasn’t very experienced in her young age but expected he’d put the moves on her soon. She just had to restrain herself so as not to make the first move. Desperately, she was trying to appear reserved enough not to scare him away. He did take her to bed, but it was a week later on their next date.

Becca had invited Richard over for dinner, and he’d shown up right on time at six o’clock in the evening. She made her best dish—beef stroganoff with egg noodles, fresh salad, french rolls, and red wine. Richard ate everything and was very complimentary of her cooking skills. The candlelit dinner and soft music playing on the stereo created an atmosphere very conducive for intimacy. Richard’s frequent gestures of affection and kind words seemed to prepare Becca’s heart for passion. He brought up the subject after dinner by telling her, I want to be with you, Becca, and she reciprocated by giving him a seductive smile. She wasn’t completely innocent, but she hadn’t been intimate with a man she was this interested in before. She knew her feelings about him would make the act between them significant for her. She was quite nervous when she replied, You are with me.

He smiled in a slightly devilish grin, saying, That’s not what I meant, and you know it.

You want to touch me. She heard her voice make the statement before she realized she was speaking out loud. His answer with a nod became a passionate touch across her cheek. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom. As they fell into the bed, she found herself so absorbed in his physical body she didn’t think about her own movements or responses. She was only aware of the motions of their bodies moving together and the feel of his skin on hers. The rest of the experience was all about him. She was aware of his warmth and the golden hairs all over his skin. The feeling of his heart beating against her chest made her heart skip a beat. Being with him was effortless, and after that, everything quickly fell into place.

The next few weeks went by fast with the two of them hanging out together whenever they found the time. They would usually go out to a party or dancing at nightclubs on the weekends. On Sundays, they’d spend all day in each other’s arms in bed or on the couch. They wouldn’t even cook, choosing to order take-out food instead so they could indulge being together. This became the pattern of their times together. Becca enjoyed this and thought it was a wonderful experience to make love to someone all day long and then fall asleep with him at night. They made a handsome couple too. Sometimes her friends would tease her, saying she’d found a guy as good-looking as herself. She laughed at that. She never really considered men as beautiful, but apparently, some of them are! They’d been seeing each other about six weeks when he suggested they go to a Halloween party together. It was unusual because his pattern had been to just let their time together work itself out. He hardly ever made plans with her in advance. Usually she’d get an I’ll call you later statement from Richard. She’d have to wait for his call, but it always came. She was a little anxious about the arrangement so far because she was unwillingly becoming attached to him, and it made her nervous to wait it out. Even though she knew he’d be with her the next weekend, it was still unsettling not to hear it proclaimed aloud. She accepted his invitation, exclaiming, I don’t think I’ve ever had a date for a costume party. It sounds fun.

Is that what we’re doing? he questioned. Dating?

Oh, I don’t know, Richard. What would you call it?

I’d say we’re more than just dating, wouldn’t you?

Yes, sure we are. That was when she first allowed herself to accept their relationship as serious. She hadn’t wanted to assume anything or be presumptuous. Letting him say it first was always the best option.

CHAPTER 3

She had been involved with Richard about three months when Sally asked her to come for a visit. Becca knew she didn’t want to leave even for one weekend. She was crazy about Richard and comfortable spending all her free time with him. But Sally was her cousin and best friend, so of course she would go. If only Sally hadn’t moved to Los Angeles, she thought to herself as she was telling Richard she’d be gone next weekend. But my cousin has a great job there and seems really happy, so I can’t fault her for that, she reasoned.

Why don’t you leave your key, and I’ll pick you up from the station when you get back, he suggested. I’ll even have the apartment clean and have dinner waiting for you.

Becca thought that was an affectionate offer, and he must be trying to show his devotion. Becca and Sally had a short, but wonderful visit and she was surprised at her eagerness to get home to Richard. Upon her return from Los Angeles, Richard picked her up as promised. Becca had missed him the whole time she’d been with her cousin. He kissed her and said, So how was Sally? Did you two have a good visit?

Yes, it was great to see her. She’s really settled in there well.

I sure missed you, baby, he whispered in her ear, kissing her gently. When they got back to the apartment, he had cleaned it up, bought a new TV, and had dinner waiting as promised, but he had also moved himself in.

He’s going to live with me, she thought. I have no idea what I’m doing or how to respond to this surprise. She decided humor was best. So you moved in. Does that mean you plan on hanging around?

I just want to be with you and thought I would surprise you. Actually, she was thrilled but didn’t want him to know it. I can pay the rent, and we’ll be together all the time. What do you think? he asked.

It’s a good surprise, she answered.

While eating the take-out food Richard had purchased, they discussed their schedules and decided how they’d share finances. She wouldn’t understand till much later that living with someone means always wondering where that person is when they’re late, but in that moment, she was happy.

Ever since he’d moved in, Richard wanted to know what was going on in Becca’s life. He even kept track of her monthly cycle by checking her birth control pill dates. It wasn’t at all that he was controlling or suspicious but more like someone who wanted to be supportive. Besides, she kept nothing from him. He was welcome in her life, and she was young enough to find his attentions flattering rather than intrusive. Life was easier with him being there. He helped out around the house. There was never a problem of finding time for each other, and it was easier financially. Becca was finally able to cut back a little on her work hours and attend more college classes. Besides work, they were with each other all the time. Occasionally he’d work out of town, but mostly he was home. Several weeks later, while lying in bed, he finally told her he loved her.

Well, how do you know for sure? Becca questioned.

I know because I care more about you than I do myself, he responded. I would do anything for you.

With her heart racing inside her chest, she calmly admitted she loved him too. She had known for a while but never would have said it first. She felt secure enough now to introduce him to her family. A few days later, she brought it up. I want to take you to meet my family. My mom’s birthday party is coming up soon, and you’re invited.

Okay, sounds great, he agreed. We’ve been together long enough for them to want to know me.

They arrived at her mom’s house about four o’clock, in time to help prepare the meal. She had wanted to get there early so Richard could meet her before being overwhelmed with the rest of my family. Her mom and her cousin Sally were the family who mattered the most to her because she really didn’t see her other relatives often. Her mother answered the door, displaying her usual friendly face. Hi, you two, she said. She gave her a hug and then turned to Richard. Hi, I’m Brenda, Becca’s mom. She said as she hugged him. He was always sociable, and Becca could tell this would be no different. They both wished her mom a happy birthday and went to the kitchen to start preparing for the party.

Sally showed up with Aunt Lisa shortly after Richard and her. She pulled Becca aside after entering the kitchen, exclaiming, Oh wow! He is gorgeous and so built.

I know, and he is a really great guy too.

Does he treat you good? she continued with her questions.

Definitely. He spoils me all the time. Sally kept grilling her until she insisted they return to the kitchen. "I didn’t want him to be