The Walk She Kept

By Lunko

The walk she kept depicts a story of a very determined woman who met many lifes challenges that forced her to succumb to a life that she knew she was not destined to live. The book is about her confusion created by how she views life in contrast to how everybody in her immediate environment translated it. This wrestle in her mind of the truth, the pain and the struggle to stay afloat and prevail, pushes her over the edge. It is at this edge that she is finally confronted by reality, the truth and she eventually finds peace that sustains her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jan 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493138272

Lunko

Limakatso” Lunko” Rapudungoane is a Deputy Principlal at Motswela High School in South Africa in a small town called Kroonstad. She has a Degree in Counseling from Unisa and Education from Potch University; and Two Education Diplomas from Vista University and Mphohadi College. She is a mother of two Lumka and Nkosi, which birthed the name “Lunko”. She is a woman of many passions, including Reading, Blogging, Motivational talk, Counseling young and old, and Healthy living. Her passion for writing stems from the love of giving life lessons to women and the community at large, from lessons she learnt herself. She has written articles published on National Magazines and was an Author of Online Magazine (http://www.teachersmonthly.com). [The walk she kept] is her first novel, one of many to come.

Book preview

Contents

Note from the author

Introduction: They gave her life

1:  Is it that easy to let go?

2:  Walking into a Blaze

3:  There is indeed, a thin line…

4:  The dreaded Explosion!

5:  The truth fighting its way.

6:  It is raining…

7:  There is a miracle

8:  Change of Seasons.

9:  Grounded, deeper wisdom

Dedication

The Lord my CREATOR

My Parents Nombuyiselo & Molefi Rapudungoane

My GIFTS from God, Lumka and Nkosi

My sister Matshediso Rapudungoane

My Nephew Bohlale Rapudungoane

My friends, particularly Poppy & Nontobeko . . .

for inspiring me to write

All the differently-abled people

All Women out there with tremendous power to prevail

My pillar through the project . . . Ribs Afrika

My learners and Mentors

My Editors and Proof-readers

Note from the author

I t’s a Human Rights’ day (21 st March 2012), a public holiday. Checking my phone I realize I have missed a call with the dialling code 011. Naturally what crosses my mind is the thought of my accounts which maybe need a confirmation with some details, so I call to find out who it was. It is a call from one of the lecturers in UNISA working in the department of Psychology. She found my name appearing as one of the former students in this department and wanted to ask me to participate in her doctoral studies. Her studies involved a subject which fascinated me a lot and I could not help but go beyond what was expected from me. My participation in this study made me realize that it would be beneficial to others for me to share my observations.

I have come to realize that we all inhabit multifaceted environments in which we all aspire to thrive. We want to excel at work, we want our homes to be perfect with perfect families. We want our friends and the people we fellowship with, to also be perfect so that in the final end, we all are surrounded by perfection. This is only but a dream. In reality, we are confronted daily by challenges at work, challenges at home and challenges in our spiritual realm. It is with this notion that I felt, if and when we succeed in confronting, mastering and overpowering these challenges, it is crucial that we share tools and wisdom that helped us prevail.

I, from birth have met more challenges than I would care to remember. I do not feel like I have gathered courage to overcome any storm thrown my way, but of those that I have already surpassed… it is embedded in my heart that I should empower others who still have to go through what I went through. Our challenges may be the same, but that does not necessarily mean they will be won the same way. With the same breath, they may be different but surpassed by the same approaches. If after reading this book, you feel like you can face any rocky turn in life, help a family who is going through a tough time, then I shall have attained my mission which is to empower, through sharing what I have observed from the characters of this book and have decided to sell to you as a reader.

Introduction

They gave her life

T hey, who? Doctors… ? Parents… ? Spiritual healers… ? Who exactly? Yes, it must have been two parents that gave life to her cell which happens to be her life’s origin. What could have been the reason for giving it to her? Was it out of love for each other that they actually planned to breath life into her. Was it the mistake of their intimate acts? Was her arrival on this earth an awaited blessing? Well… . these thoughts must have troubled your mind when you first read… they gave her life! I am glad that these thoughts kept your mind busy but, it is not her parents I am referring to.

Did she at some point experience some asthmatic attack that they had to resuscitate her? Has she ever tried to swim with no swimming skill that she nearly drowned herself, life-savers running up and down giving her a kiss of life? Was she ever so bed ridden with some dreadful disease that doctors did all that they could to save her life? The answer is still No, I am not talking about any doctor or life saver here. Do keep guessing.

Does she feel like she has been doing one thing repeatedly that her productivity has become so stale to a point that she feels she is forced to relate to people about just how good she used to be and still is? Has she been applying endlessly for a promotional post with all the qualifications and qualities she possesses, yet has succeeded to fail? Does she really need a Sangoma to throw the bones and search for the voodoo [evil spell] that must have bewitched her? Did she visit a Pentecostal tent hosting a revival where she fainted when she was being prayed to, that the Pastors had to form a chain prayer in order to bring her back to life? Yes, she must have felt all these or at some point experienced all the afore-mentioned but no, not a single one of the helpers above, gave her life. Be patient, it is coming.

In her life, was there ever a point where she felt like she could go to sleep and wake up being a different person from the one she actually is? The answer is, many times… Yes, but after the life she was given, the person she wanted to wake up being every morning, is her, MEHLOLO . . . . the very same awesome her. We are almost there, where you can’t wait to arrive.

Has she once in her life felt like taking on a different identity, renaming and redefining herself, yet not having a clue of where to start in killing her present identity? Well… . a definite Yes, but the life they gave her, made her to fall in love with the person she is, her True Identity.

When that moment of suffocation cornered her, moment of helplessness, despair, self-doubt and desperation dominated her being… , she did not dissipate like a fox when sun rises, but the Lord gave her wisdom. He opened her inner eyes and allowed her to make a profound, awesome self-discovery. Her NAMES, each and every single one of them, gave her life. As you reading through this book, allow each name, its story, its inclination… enchant you to a life of her journey and total recovery.

Is it that easy to let go?

I t is at the back guest house of the house where Mehlolo is renting now, sitting all by herself busy with nothing except thoughts that keep her going. Come to think of it, it is a bit weird for her to be renting any house at this age of her life. As she gazes through the windows, draped with single bed sheets, it crosses her mind that the small house she rented about 14 years back, when she earned just one eighth of her present salary until she could submit her teaching diploma, looked way better than where she finds herself to be now. Hear me correctly, it isn’t the room structure or cleanliness I am referring to, but the absence of basic things in her house such as curtains, the electric kettle, the spoons even the teaspoons. It is at this house where her son, Thobedi got so ashamed of friends passing by because of what his mom hanged on the windows and what she would have to offer them as refreshments. You see, the house Mehlolo fled from, is way too comfortable and worth being looked at than where they are now. One thing I am sure of is, no woman in her right mind would have left a place of comfort to willingly go and struggle for life’s basics. She was practically broke, and it was just a matter of days before she could fold in and crumble.

She was deep in debts and did not know where to go. Her home, where she could find both her dad and mom for help, was no place of comfort for her, let alone a refuge. Her father had made it clear that the only condition they were prepared to help her, was if she goes back to her matrimonial home. It’s funny that the only time she has plucked up courage to leave her present life, should be this time when she was so broke, talk about impeccable timing. For starters she was not used to paying for her dwelling. Where she has been for the past 14 years, paying for rent was not her responsibility. Yes, if you talked about food, groceries, clothes, furniture, car payment, insurance, phone (land line), pre-paid electricity, her cellular contract, kid’s clothes, their school fees, her travelling petrol to and from work, health club fees and others I care to remember, those were what she used to be responsible for. It is amazing just how hidden our strength remains until the time you are ready to table it down and really face what we have been up against. Here she was, thinking even declaring in this story just how difficult it was for her to cope, yet what she was responsible for, goes beyond what really intimidated her, which was paying for a rent. The greater part of her was numb from reality, or at least she unconsciously preferred it that way. It almost felt like she was dreaming and soon, very soon she would be waking up. Sitting here, all alone, except her son who was most of the time hovering over her, sensing that something is amiss and his mom is not in the right frame of mind, was the only productive activity she could engage herself in. *chuckle*

Maybe I need to take you through what really happened for her to fall prey to this predicament she now finds herself in. Just a week ago from this day that she is deep in these thoughts, she moved into this house unceremoniously. It was on a Sunday afternoon when the father of her kids was away, visiting his parents in his hometown. He had with him, their daughter, and their son was visiting her grandmothers’ locally. Mehlolo just came from an all night trip from Rustenburg where she, her other aunt and the aunt’s husband, suddenly had to go and support her uncle who had just lost a wife through a car accident. They literally did not sleep the whole night and she was extremely tired. Back home in Welkom, her parents were preparing themselves to go to Bloemfontein where they would be awaiting her bereft uncle and his late wife. Their next stop from Rustenburg was Welkom where her aunt was just going to refresh herself and further take a journey with her husband to join those in Bloemfontein. Mehlolo excused herself and opted to stay behind with one plan in mind, and that was to go and take her things out of her matrimonial home whilst the coast is clear. The big question was, what did it mean when coast would be clear, who exactly was not supposed to be around? Both her estranged husband and her parents were the people who would clear the coast. Their absence would make things so much easier for her and would definitely fast-track her moving out. She did obtain transport that afternoon, short notice as it was, she never struggled and was determined to move out. The adrenalin rush she had from the moment she started planning to move out, ensured that nothing would stand in her way. She hastily instructed the movers to work within 1hour 30minutes in fear of the owner of the house arriving earlier than normal. You see, when you invite God in your plans, no matter how wrong you may think they are, He more than provides. I am saying this with certainty because these movers took exactly the time she had requested. As she drove with her utility pick-up van behind them, her heart was racing, nearly choking her. She was trembling and so jumpy of any white car she saw approaching them. That day Mehlolo took only the kids’ twin beds and a bed for herself. The rest of the furniture, curtains and all their other belongings, she left behind.

If you approached their then home from the front you would not even notice that some furniture had been removed. After off loading the small items from the movers, she locked the house where she would be renting and went back home to her folks. They only learnt that night from their son in law that she had moved out. It was a shock that nearly killed them because they were used to her first consulting them before she could execute any plan. What they did not know was that this move, was long over due. That very same week she applied for an interdict and was advised by her lawyer to fetch her daughter, screaming and kicking. *Laugh out loud* . . . . She still remembers the metaphor the lawyer used to knock some sense into her, when she told him that her little girl (Lethabo), six years then, did not want to leave his daddy.

The lawyer: "Mevrou, don’t make me doubt your intelligence, you want to tell me that if you found your baby girl playing with a gun, you will leave her with it if she screams when you take it? Wake up or you will lose the custody of your daughter."

Her son, 11 years old then, decided immediately to stay with his mom before he could even be asked or explained to. There they were, the three of this new household, at this strange place, they were supposed to be calling their home. This woman had just pulled a stunt she was not even sure it would work. Mehlolo finds herself in this strange guest cottage at the backyard of a good Samaritan who took it upon herself to house them whilst Mehlolo was supposedly sorting her life. For this good woman to take them in, was more of a risk since nobody supported Mehlolo’s decision to move or divorce. Her parents actually made it clear that should she go ahead with the divorce, she was no more their adorable daughter. It is now 14 years that she has been married yet divorce is a song she has been singing for a decade.

You would then ask yourself why now, why is it only now that she has found guts to fall through with her plan? All these years she has been attempting to quit, she always sought her parents’ blessings. All her life nothing pleased her unless it was endorsed by her parents, especially her mother. In her early thirties yet still running to mommy and daddy dearest for approval, call it a sickness or an addiction.

Mehlolo is an educator by profession and is blessed with two adorable gifts, a boy and a girl. Not only does she enjoy working with learners but she is also very passionate about her work. At the time she started working, she only had one qualification, but at this point when all these catastrophic events were happening in her life, she had already gathered further qualifications. Teaching children was all she could do best, at least that is what she thought.

She had just been through a great ordeal at the school where she was working. There was a group of educators who wanted their Principal, Miss Melamu to be investigated. Mehlolo happened to be the site secretary of the Union and therefore, to all plans they had to table. This eminently made her, the Principal’s hottest target. Matters got even worse when she became a key witness to a case of assault against Ms. Melamu. This one particular case caused the Principal her job. Frequenting the criminal court was something she thought she would rather die before ever doing, but because of this assault case, magistrate court became her territory. She personally even had her own case of