Spirit Vs. Flesh: A Constant Battle

By Dr. Pamala Wilson

Many of us can one day realize that we have been spending our lives walking in sin. The realization can come suddenly, or it can appear to us over some time, but what we do next can mean the world—even our eternity.

In Spirit vs. Flesh, author Dr. Pam Wilson shares her personal testimony of immediate deliverance and her life of victory in the battle between spirit and flesh. The burden God has put on her heart to help other Christians learn how to overcome the constant battle between our flesh and our spirit is the passion and motive behind her writing. The message she confronts head on is the reason why we as Christians are living a life of hypocrisy and are both “in and of the world.”

We are not living differently than the world and making a difference for the kingdom of God because we are not revealing God in the way we live our lives. Yet by accepting Christ and equipping ourselves for spiritual warfare, we can be victorious in the battle between the spirit and the flesh!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973658498

Dr. Pamala Wilson

Dr. Pamala Wilson is a nurse anesthetist and has taught high school Sunday school for over ten years. She studied at the University of Arkansas, the University of Missouri, and Truman Medical Center, and she received her doctorate degree at Texas Wesleyan University. She is the CEO and president of Freelance Anesthesia, specializing in pediatric anesthesia. At the age of forty, she was immediately delivered from her slavery to sin and self, and she has now learned to live her life in victory and wants to share that message with others.

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Copyright © 2019 Dr. Pamala Wilson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-5850-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-5851-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-5849-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019904158

WestBow Press rev. date: 07/08/2019

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

Part 1 THE CHOICE

Chapter 1 The Fall

Chapter 2 God’s Redemptive Plan

Chapter 3 The Constant Battle

Part 2 RESULTS OF YOUR CHOICES

Chapter 4 Love Vs Hate

Chapter 5 Joy Vs Sorrow

Chapter 6 Peace Vs Strife

Chapter 7 Patience Vs Impatience

Chapter 8 Kindness Vs Cruelty

Chapter 9 Righteousness Vs Wickedness

Chapter 10 Gentleness Vs Harshness

Chapter 11 Faithfulness Vs Unfaithfulness

Chapter 12 Self-Control Vs Uncontrolled

Chapter 13 Humility Vs Pride

Chapter 14 Purity Vs Impurity

Chapter 15 Satisfied Vs Dissatisfied

Chapter 16 Rest Vs Stress

Chapter 17 Freedom Vs Slavery

Chapter 18 Light Vs Darkness

Chapter 19 Hope Vs Despair

Chapter 20 Connected Vs Disconnected

Chapter 21 Lost Vs Found

Chapter 22 Old Vs New

Chapter 23 Fearful Vs Fearless

Chapter 24 Strength Vs Weakness

Chapter 25 Generous Vs Greedy

Chapter 26 Innocent Vs Guilty

Chapter 27 Life Vs Death

Chapter 28 Other Results

Part 3 WINNING THE BATTLE

Chapter 29 Victory Vs Defeat

Chapter 30 The Benefits of Victory

Chapter 31 Our Earthly Purpose

Conclusion

DEDICATION

I want to dedicate this book to my faithful daughter, Morgan, who knows my calling and purpose for life and loves me for whom and what God has called me to be. She supports me in all I do and always has an encouraging word or smile for me as I move forward in my journey fulfilling the purpose I was created for.

Morgan, the love I have for you is the closest thing to my understanding of our eternal father’s unconditional love for us. I always told you that all I wanted was for you and your life to bring God glory. You are living out my prayer. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for ministering to me. You are such a blessing and a gift from above.

Cole, my son-in-law, you are such a blessing to Morgan and me. Thank you for being the husband for my daughter that I had prayed for all these years but just didn’t know your name. I am so proud of the young man you are becoming as you seek God and his perfect will for you and your family. You are a great addition to our family.

I also want to thank my brother Chuck and his family: Cady, Blake, Kaylin, Daven, and Allie, who are always there for me offering me encouragement in the ongoing endeavors that God has entrusted to me.

Lastly, I want to thank all of my work friends who have been there with me through the writing process of this book and have always offered encouragement.

I want to thank Dr. Tim Fagan, who held me accountable to finish my book by always asking me how the book was coming along and when I would be finished.

PREFACE

T his is my first attempt at writing a book. I never dreamed I would be called to write something because English and literature were my least favorite subjects and were therefore, the culprits of my grade point average being lower than it could have been. Thank God, he doesn’t look for ability but availability. Priscilla Shirer said, God doesn’t call the equipped; he equips the called! ¹ It is when we are called and available that he makes us able. It is in our weaknesses that his strength is most revealed.

When God Makes Us Equipped and Able, We Not Only Go to Church, We Are the Church.

I wanted to write Spirit Vs Flesh because of my battle with this for the first forty years of my life. I was finally victorious at the lowest time in my life because of Jesus Christ. You see, sometimes that is the very place where God gets our attention—at the bottom or lowest point of our lives and the only direction to look is up.

My story begins like this. I grew up in Arkansas in a middle-class family with one older sister and one younger brother. My father was a civil engineer, and my mother was a homemaker. As we got older, she started working as a teacher’s aide. My family was not a Christian one. We would go to church only on rare occasions, and mostly without my dad.

I was the baby girl of the family and the apple of my dad’s eye. I was the one who would run out and jump into his arms when he arrived home from work. I was his shadow. Needless to say, I idolized my daddy.

As I got older, I realized that my daddy was an alcoholic and abused my mother physically, verbally, and emotionally. I remember many times as a child, standing between my dad’s next swing and my mother. He would stop when one of us children got in the way, because he wouldn’t hit us.

This caused great pain in our family and an insecure environment for me to grow up and learn. I began to think that if my dad could hurt my mom, then any man could hurt me. So, I constructed invisible walls of protection around my heart early in my life.

When I was a junior in high school, I met my first love, who was a football player. I treated him badly due to my experience with relationships. I had fallen for him because of the attention he would give me. I eventually lost my virginity to him and also my heart, even though my actions were mean and harsh toward him. We dated throughout high school and then went to separate colleges.

During our first year of college, we would come home most weekends to see each other. I was so in love with him, or so I thought in my youthful mind. During that first year of college, we broke up, and I was heartbroken. I had never felt pain like that before. It was a gut-wrenching pain of betrayal and rejection that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.

After that, I secured the invisible walls of protection around my heart against men. I felt I always had to have a boyfriend, for security and worth, but would never let him get close to me. I don’t mean physically, but emotionally. I numbed myself, towards men so I wouldn’t get hurt, like my daddy and first love had hurt me. However, I would give myself away physically on the second or third date—sometimes on the first—to gain their acceptance. I began to view myself as having nothing of value or self-worth.

I kept searching for the Prince Charming that I was supposed to meet, fall madly in love, get married, and live happily ever after—like Snow White and Cinderella. After all, isn’t that what life is all about? Each time I entered a relationship and the newness and euphoria ended, I just discounted it to not being my Prince Charming.

When I couldn’t find that fulfillment in men, I started drinking alcohol more and more. During this time, I worked on getting a graduate degree because I thought money would help me attain happiness. I went into the nursing profession that would make the most money. I thought that the money might fulfill me, because men and alcohol weren’t doing the trick.

I graduated with an advanced degree and started making great money. Wow! I thought if I could buy almost everything I wanted, that would fulfill me. But yet again, I came up empty and void inside.

The things the world said would bring happiness just made me burdened and tired, trying to relentlessly pursue something that would satisfy. I kept consuming alcohol almost daily and I did some other drugs, occasionally. I was trying to numb my pain and hurt, lessen my burdens, and most of all, fill the void deep in my heart that had not been filled with the things of the world.

At the age of forty, I found myself in southern California. I moved because of my relationship with another man. By this time in my life, I had sexually been with over thirty men and one female. I had had six plastic surgeries, three abortions, and I was an alcoholic, smoker, and drug abuser. Quite a track record—or not!

My boyfriend had a friend who asked us to go to Saddleback Church with him and his wife, so we went and really liked it. The pastor, Rick Warren, had written a book called The Purpose Driven Life.

After going to church, I picked up a few copies of the book and started reading it in June of 2004. It made sense to me, was practical and understandable, and had answers that I had been searching for all my life. I remember my daddy saying so many times, There has got to be more to life than this, but not knowing the answer.

In reading this book, I found what I had been looking for all along. I wasn’t an accident. I had been created for a purpose. My heart began to change. I was not able to handle the burden of my sins. I hated who I had become but couldn’t do anything about it myself.

On a Sunday morning in July of 2004 after a night of pornography, alcohol, smoking, and sex with my boyfriend, I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated who I had become, kept messing up, and couldn’t do anything about it in my own strength and power. I got on my knees and asked Jesus Christ into my heart, to forgive me of all of my sins, and to be the boss and Savior of my life.

Wow! I got up and felt something I had never felt before. I felt clean, light, forgiven, and loved in a way I had been looking for my whole life. He, Jesus Christ, had been what I was missing all along, and he had been there waiting for me to come to him.

I was a new person in Christ and didn’t have the same desires anymore. I was immediately delivered from my slavery of sin. I didn’t want to drink alcohol, smoke, or have sex with my boyfriend. No! I was hungry for the things of the Spirit. I was immediately free from myself. I started going to church and reading my Bible. I finished The Purpose Driven Life and was on fire for Christ.

I still struggle and have trials but also have Jesus Christ in me and with me to help me through them all. Beth Moore said, Few truly know the unfailing love of God like the captive set free. ² I have experienced this truth and couldn’t agree more with this statement.

After finding Jesus, I chose, after sometime and many poor choices, to terminate the most emotionally exhausting relationship I had ever been involved. So, I left him and moved from California back home to Oklahoma.

I know God was in this move for many reasons. God works when something is his perfect will for your life. I got a great job, bought a home right across the street from my brother, and put my daughter into a Christian school. This is also so God. My daughter was into horseback riding, and her trainer at that time had her son and daughter-in-law training in Owasso, Oklahoma. Now that is no coincidence, but it is God.

My daughter and I flew to Oklahoma on July 4th, 2006, and while we were landing, fireworks were going off all around us. The Holy Spirit spoke to me deeply and said, You are free.

I am presently living in Oklahoma where I moved to be closer to family. I joined the First Baptist Church in Owasso, Oklahoma, and started feeding my spirit daily. I learned the word of God—the Bible—through intense reading, studying, journaling, praying, and fellowshipping with other Christians.

After about two years, I started feeling the Spirit prompting me to serve in the student ministry. I served as a small group leader on Wednesday nights and then went to a summer camp with the youth. I then felt led by the Spirit to start teaching Sunday school to young teen girls. I have been teaching for over ten years. They are my passion, and I know that I am fulfilling the purpose I was created for.

When you are doing and fulfilling your God-given purpose, there is a euphoria and sense of satisfaction that I had never experienced. And, there wasn’t a hangover, guilt, or regret.

The Bible says:

1. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ³

2. God makes beauty instead of ashes. ⁴ God allowed me to use my mistakes in life and share them with the girls whom he had placed in my sphere of influence.

3. "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to