Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Family

By Samuel Wong

In 1961, Murray and Dorothy Leiffer went to Singapore to study the status of Methodism in that country. They befriended Samuel Wong, then a college student, and encouraged him to pursue advanced training in the United States. Upon Wong’s graduation, they adopted him as their “number two son.”

Over a thirty-year period, they wrote him letters from different parts of the world and the United States, telling him of their work and of life in America. They spoke of their visits with friends. They shared about their social and civic engagements as residents, citizens, and church members. They wrote freely about their travel experiences and their observations on jobs, marriage, family, nature, and retirement.

Their letters are evidence of an unconditional love flowing through all those years, a vivid reminder that Wong was loved as he was, not “despite of” or “because of.” They groomed Wong for church service, but he became a bureaucrat in the federal government. They expected him to honor the marriage vow of “till death us do part,” but he broke it in the pursuit of academic and career advancement. Yet they never said they were disappointed in Wong.

These letters, published as Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Son and Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Family, draw a portrait of an extraordinary couple that demonstrates in their everyday life the essence of unconditional love. They are complementary to the couple’s reminiscences on a seminary campus, Enter the Old Portals (1987), and a companion to Wong’s autobiography, A Chinese from Singapore (2009). Their letters are testimonies to grace and fidelity, a reminder of that which is true and honorable, civil and decent.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 4, 2019
• ISBN: 9781984574633

Samuel Wong

Sam Wong began formal study of massage therapy in Northern Virginia Community College in 2010 after his retirement from government service. He is trained in Western massage and Chinese tui na. He has created the Virginian Stretch and Yin Yang Touch and has adapted massage to treating fibromyalgia, posttraumatic stress disorder, and scoliosis. Primarily a research massage therapist in private practice, Sam is a board-approved continuing education provider and board-certified in therapeutic massage and bodywork. He promotes caring for caregivers as essential for healthcare and provides free massages to veterans and their caregivers in the DC area.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Samuel Wong.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2018915271

ISBN:                Hardcover                         978-1-9845-7465-7

                          Softcover                           978-1-9845-7464-0

                          eBook                                 978-1-9845-7463-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Rev. date: 01/03/2019

Xlibris

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Contents

About Murray and Dorothy Leiffer

Preface

Images

Chapter 1     1976

January 4, 1976

January 20, 1976

March 16, 1976

[No date, circa April, 1976]

May 16, 1976

May 25, 1976

June 8, 1976

June 26, 1976

June 30, 1976 (R)

July 9, 1976

July 24, 1976 (R)

August 4, 1976

August 14, 1976

August 29, 1976

September 16, 1976

October 7, 1976

Chapter 2     1977

February 4, 1977

March 23, 1977

June 1, 1977

June 29, 1977

July 8, 1977

August 19, 1977

September 16, 1977

December 30, 1977

Thanksgiving-Christmas Season, 1977

Chapter 3     1978

February 14, 1978

April 1, 1978

May 16, 1978

[Circa June 15, 1978]

June 29, 1978

June 30, 1978 (R)

July 4, 1978

August 20, 1978

September 4, 1978 (Labor Day)

November 17, 1978

Chapter 4     1979

January 14, 1979

January 30, 1979

February 8, 1979

March 1, 1979 (R)

March 3, 1979

March 29, 1979

May 16, 1979

July 19, 1979

September 1, 1979

October 16, 1979

Thanksgiving—Christmas, 1979

December 26, 1979

Chapter 5     1980

June 30, 1980

July 12, 1980

July 27, 1980

September 7, 1980

September 29, 1980

November 13, 1980

December 15, 1980 (R)

Chapter 6     1981

February 21, 1981

April 11, 1981

May 9, 1981

May 20, 1981

June 11, 1981 (R)

June 13, 1981

July 4, 1981

July 28, 1981 (R)

August 5, 1981

September 16, 1981 (R)

October 12, 1981

October 23, 1981

November 12, 1981 (R)

November 19, 1981

Advent, 1981

Chapter 7     1982

January 14, 1982

February 8, 1982 (R)

March 6, 1982

April 15, 1982 (R)

April 17, 1982

May 5, 1982 (R)

May 17, 1982

May 26, 1982 (R)

June 12, 1982

June 16, 1982 (R)

July 31, 1982

August 6, 1982 (R)

August 26, 1982

September 11, 1982 (R)

September 18, 1982

October 20, 1982

December 10, 1982 (R)

December 31, 1982

Chapter 8     1983

January 24, 1983

February 7, 1983 (R)

February 21, 1983

March 14, 1983 (R)

March 15, 1983 (R)

March 23, 1983

April 2, 1983

April 28,1983

May 19, 1983

June 15, 1983 (R)

July 1, 1983

July 12, 1983 (R)

July 15, 1983

September 27, 1983

October 19, 1983

October 20, 1983 (R)

October 24, 1983 (R)

Thanksgiving & Christmas, 1983

December 8, 1983 (R)

Chapter 9     1984

January 9, 1984

February 23, 1984 (R)

February 25, 1984

March 26, 1984 (R)

April 9, 1984

May 18, 1984

June 14, 1984

June 19, 1984 (R)

July 16, 1984

September 24, 1984

October 5, 1984 (R)

October 15, 1984

Thanksgiving Day plus One, 1984

December 3, 1984

Chapter 10   1985

February 24, 1985

April 13, 1985

May 17, 1985

May 30, 1985 (R)

August 3, 1985

August 5, 1985 (R)

August 16, 1985

September 30, 1985

October 23, 1985 (R)

October 25, 1985

November 2, 1985

December 15, 1985

Christmas 1985

Chapter 11   1986

February 7, 1986

March 17, 1986

April 26, 1986

[Circa May 1986]

June 12, 1986

October 4, 1986

October 29, 1986 (R)

November 17, 1986

Chapter 12   1987

January 10, 1987 (R)

January 18, 1987 (DCL)

January 18, 1987 (MHL)

February 23, 1987

April 9, 1987

June 13, 1987

[Circa June 23, 1987] (R)

June 30, 1987

July 24, 1987

August 6, 1987 (R)

August 18, 1987

October 3, 1987

October 28, 1987

November 15, 1987

Thanksgiving and Christmastide, 1987

Chapter 13   1988

January 13, 1988 (R)

February 23, 1988

May 11, 1988 (R)

June 13, 1988

June 23, 1988

August 15, 1988 [postcard]

September 22, 1988

October 24, 1988 (MHL)

October 24, 1988 (DCL)

November 4, 1988 (R)

November 8, 1988 (R)

December 1988

[Circa December 30, 1988]

Chapter 14   1989

January 19, 1989

January 29, 1989 (R)

May 3, 1989 (R)

June 8, 1989

August 25, 1989 (R)

Chapter 15   1990

June 12, 1990 (R)

October 22, 1990 (R)

Christmas 1990

Chapter 16   1991

January 10, 1991

June 1, 1991 (R)

June 20, 1991

Postscript

July 29, 1991

August 3, 1991 5:00 a.m. (R)

February 25, 1992 (R)

Mission Accomplished

My Grandpa Leiffer

Glossary

Persons mentioned in the Letters

About the Editor

Dedicated

to

My grandchildren

Isabel, Imogen, Max, Audrey, Cami and Thea

and their parents

and

In loving memory of

their great-grandmother Luisa

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We are delighted to hear of the promise of a new little life in the family, and shall certainly welcome that grandchild, whether it be Philip or Cathy! (October 7, 1976)

We are proud of all three of you. Surely not many grandparents are so fortunate as we are in having such interesting, active and loving grandchildren. (June 30, 1987)

About Murray and Dorothy Leiffer

Murray Howard Leiffer was born in New York on August 30, 1902. Dorothy Corinne Leiffer (née Lynn) was born in Oklahoma on May 16, 1903. They graduated from the University of Southern California in 1923, married on September 9, 1924 and went to study at what was then known as Garrett Biblical Institute (which evolved into Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary). With the exception of two years spent in further graduate study and two years of teaching in Chicago Training School (later to join with Garrett), the Leiffers invested all the years between then and their retirement in 1972 in that institution.

During his tenure, Murray taught in the field of Christian social ethics, urban and rural ministry and the sociology of religion, and established and directed the Interdenominational School for Rural Leaders and the Bureau of Social and Religious Research. He was a teacher and friend of pastors, educators and leaders in religious research and a consummate servant of The United Methodist Church. His unique contributions to The United Methodist Church were to serve as a member (and later President) of its Judicial Council and as an author of various studies on the ministerial profession. He had taught and conducted research in Singapore, the Philippines and Japan.

From 1938 to 1967, Dorothy taught a seminary course, Recreational Leadership in the Local Church during which seminarians learned how to nurture the heart of a caring, loving congregation. She was an active and vital partner in all of Murray’s work. They worked together as one, or, as Murray himself put it, when he said we, he meant both he and Dorothy.

The Leiffers collaborated in 28 monographs and numerous reports and articles. The Effective City Church was their signature publication and Enter the Old Portals was their final reminiscences on a seminary campus.

Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary recognized their roles as formative figures in the history of [the] seminary by installing them as members of its Founders’ Society in 1990. It also established the Murray and Dorothy Leiffer Chair of Christian Social Ethics in 1985.

Murray died in La Jolla, California on February 1, 1992 after a massive stroke in the previous year. Four years after Murray’s death, Dorothy died on December 3, 1995. She had been living with Alzheimer’s disease since the late 1980’s. Theirs was a rich and productive union shared totally with true love across nearly 70 years.

Preface

In 1961, an American couple went to Singapore to study the status of Methodism in that country. They befriended me and encouraged me to pursue advanced training in the United States. Upon completion of my graduate work, they adopted me as their Number Two Son and became my American parents. That couple was Murray and Dorothy Leiffer.

Over a 30-year period, they wrote me letters from different parts of the world and the United States – India, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Peru, Evanston, Estes Park, Hawaii, Los Angeles and La Jolla. They told me of their work and inquired about mine. They spoke of their visits with friends. They shared about their social and civic engagements as residents, citizens and church members. They wrote freely about their travel experiences and their observations on jobs, marriage and the family, nature and retirement.

Their letters are evidence of an unconditional love flowing through all those years, a vivid reminder that I was loved as I was; not despite of or because of. They groomed me for church service, but I became a bureaucrat in the Federal Government. They expected me to honor the marriage vow of till death us do part, but I broke it in the pursuit of academic and career advancement. Yet, they never said they were disappointed in me. They looked beyond my faults and brought out the best in me. Ever since their adoption, they always signed off their letters with We love you, and their material gifts to my family and me were numerous.

They began writing to me when they were in their late 50’s and I was in my early 20’s. We had a generation gap of almost 40 years through the writing cycle. Initially, Murray was a senior faculty member of then Garrett Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois and I was a junior student in Trinity College, Singapore. In later years, they were in retirement, and I was trying to establish a career and to nurture a family. Now, as I edit their letters for publication, I feel that I am in dialogue with a couple not too much older than I am, and I am sharing their experience in growing old!

In our respective retirements, both my American parents and I feel the worn-out-ness of our body parts and the decline of our energy and strength. We get tired more easily and our energy level is not as high as it was just a few years ago. In their retirement, Murray and Dorothy stayed active and were alert to the changing social and political scenes, still offering their opinions on taxes, foreign policy, and culture. In my retirement, I try to do likewise. I live my present stage of life as though I were still modeling after them!

Besides the contents, the Leiffer letters are worthy of sharing with later generations because they show how personal letters might be written and how parents might communicate with their adult children. However, as these letters are private and personal, they are not always consistent in writing style and spelling, and some of them have repetition from previous letters. In the early days of their writing to me, Dorothy and Murray were very precise and grammatically formal: They dotted their i’s and crossed their t’s and they rarely used exclamation marks. In later years, Murray was much more comfortable to cross out what he had written, write in unending sentences without punctuation, mail the letters with his editing marks, and leave some sentences fragmented. He was fond of using capital letters, abbreviations, initials, underlines and dashes, and his salutation and signature had artistic flair and flurry. Dorothy was less flamboyant, and she usually typed her letters or sent short written notes. Occasionally, they would use uncommon words that present day spelling check red marks as mistakes. Patently, regardless of primary or sole authorship, they would sign their letters as though written by both of them.

For clarity’s sake and to minimize distraction, I have filled in many of the abbreviations and initials, omitted most of the underlines, dashes and capitalization, and streamlined some of the punctuations. At various points, I have used ellipses to indicate deletions of what might be construed as negative or personal information and have inserted square brackets and footnotes to add commentaries and information for elucidation. However, I have not tried to eliminate inconsistency in writing style or delete overlapping since these deficiencies are the essence of personal letters.

Frequently, the Leiffers referred to letters that I wrote them and I was, according to them, a four-star letter writer (March 17, 1986). Regrettably, I do not have copies of most of the letters I wrote. Whatever I have, I have inserted them in between what the Leiffers wrote to provide a clearer context and marked them with an R after the dates in the Table of Contents.

I have organized the letters into two books: Book One – Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Son – has 125 of their letters covering the period 1961-1975, from when I first met them to when my first marriage ended. Book Two – Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Family – has 135 of their letters covering the period 1976-1991, from the beginning of my second marriage to the departure of Murray from this earth.

I am grateful to Beverly Judge, my partner in the early stage of my career, for allowing me to retain the salutation and references in these letters even though our life paths had diverged since 1975. She was significant in the formative years of my career. I am also grateful to Mercy Javier-Wong, my partner in the later stage of my career. She was an integral part of the letters in Book Two and she proofread meticulously the entire collection of letters and helped me clarify some of them.

These letters draw a portrait of an extraordinary couple that demonstrated in their everyday life the essence of unconditional love. They are complementary to the couple’s reminiscences on a seminary campus, Enter the Old Portals (1987); and a companion to my autobiography, A Chinese from Singapore (2009). Their words are witnesses to the Grace of God. I invite you to read these letters as though they were written to you. Listen to this couple as though you were eavesdropping on their conversations. Your heart will be warmed by what you hear and you will gain fresh insights for your life.

Images

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Mercy with Murray and Dorothy attending the Bicentennial General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Baltimore, 1984.

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Sam with Murray and Dorothy in Baltimore, 1984.

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Murray showing Philip how a gizmo works, 1984.

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Murray & Dorothy sharing a book as Philip looked on, 1984.

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Murray & Dorothy opening their Christmas present and Cathy was amused, 1984.

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Murray showing Cathy how to unwrap her present, 1984.

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Cathy working on unwrapping her present while Murray and the boys looked on, 1984.

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Murray and Dorothy posing with Lola, Sam, Cathy, Philip and John Paul (the children), 1984. (Mercy was the photographer)

Photo%20II_9.jpg

Murray with Mercy and the children in the

Leiffer Meadow, 1985.

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Murray and Dorothy with Mercy and the children near the Leiffer Cabin, 1985.

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Mercy watching Murray opening his Christmas present, 1986.

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Dorothy and Murray talking with John Paul. Our Christmas present for them was on Murray’s lap, 1986.

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Mercy and Dorothy examining a glass while Cathy was lost in her own world, 1986.

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The children helping Mercy open her present as Murray and Dorothy looked on, 1986.

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Murray digging out the markers from the red bag, 1986.

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Murray showing the children how to play a table game, 1986.

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Murray and Dorothy with the family, 1986.

(Sam was the photographer)

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Murray showing John Paul some entries in a red book, 1986.

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Murray and Dorothy looking over the Zoo guide, Sam and the children were behind them, 1986. (Mercy was the photographer)

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The family with Dorothy and Murray at the San Diego Zoo, 1986. (Philip was the photographer)

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Page 1 of the last letter from Dorothy, 1989.

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Page 2 of the last letter from Dorothy, 1989.

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Page 1 of the last letter from Murray, 1991.

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Page 2 of the last letter from Murray, 1991.

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The family with Don and Charlotte Leiffer at the La Jolla Country Club, circa 1991. Don Leiffer is the younger brother of Murray.

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Mercy and Cathy with Dorothy at the Torrey Pines Rehab Center, La Jolla, circa 1992.

Chapter 1

1976

Our earnest prayer for each of you is that you will find increasing and continued joy in your new relationship of husband and wife. That you be careful to spend time together and build up and strengthen all mutual interests. And that you will share not only your home concerns but also maintain (and if necessary develop) common outside interests and activities, keeping each other fully informed about your outside business, professional & other involvements. Full sharing and full confidence are as necessary as patience and love. (August 4, 1976)

[I left Howard University after working there for two years to join the staff of the General Commission on Religion and Race of the United Methodist Church with primary responsibility for liaison with the Asian American constituents in the United Methodist Church.

During my second year at Howard, I dated young professional women in the D.C. area, but I found no one matching my diverse personal and professional interests. In September 1975, an Asian-American colleague invited me to a Sunday brunch at her home. She had also invited Mercedes Javier, a Filipina working in the World Bank. That encounter was the beginning of our forty-some years of life together. (The book, Intimate Witnesses, pp. 195-200, has a capsule account of the encounter.) In quick succession, we were engaged and married in 1976 and Mercy gave birth to our children, Cathy, Philip and John Paul in the following years. The Leiffers became their beloved and proud Grandpa and Grandma.]

La Jolla, California

January 4, 1976

Dear Sam,

How much we enjoyed your Christmas phone call and the nice flower arrangement that arrived the day before. Then the next day we received a good letter from Joe Bell telling of your very generous gift to the Bethel Home in honor of Rocky, Frances and us. Dear Sam, you should not be doing so many lovely and generous things for us or on our behalf — but we do appreciate your love and good wishes.

As you know Eunice & Inez were with us over Christmas, arriving the day before for dinner and a candlelight service at the Church and staying until the day after. It was a happy time for us all and we know, both from what they said and their letters received since, that it was quite important for each of them. Paul Shipton arrived on the afternoon soon after they had left. He evidently, as he said, wanted us to (himself). We enjoyed his visit, it sort of continued the Christmas season. He left rather late Saturday afternoon.

We attended church Sunday morning & packed a small bag for me. Then that afternoon early Dorothy drove me to the Scripps Memorial Hospital (very good reputation) where, on Monday morning I underwent the 1½-hour prostate operation. Of course there has been considerable discomfort but apparently it will work out satisfactorily. Dorothy was over for several hours each day and brought me home early Friday afternoon. I was ambulatory by Tues. afternoon & we went to church this morning but I fatigue easily and the internal soft scabs will not come down, the doctor says, until 14-16 days after the operation. It will be 4 to 6 weeks before healing will be complete. Incidentally, his bill for work done to date was here when I returned from the hospital — $1,350!!! Other bills already paid total $200 and the anesthetist’s has not yet come but will be in the range of $400 to 600, I guess. Much of it goes for malpractice insurance and evidentially a large segment will go to some voracious, pseudo-emotional trial lawyers. We are grateful that the procedure is in the past and has gone as well as it has. No evidence of cancer or tumor.

The Ed Blairs may be with us for a couple of days this week, and the Gerald McCulloch on Sat. - Sunday, and some other friends have written about the possibility of coming — perhaps in the following week. Our plans to fly to London on Sunday January 25 still hold. After several days — chiefly enjoying some of their shows & orchestras & museums we are set to fly to Nairobi on Jan. 30 — Safari country — returning to London for a day then back here on Feb. 16 if all goes well.

This letter to you has had priority. Now I must turn to one or two (almost a dozen waiting) less primary people — though I’ll not tell them so.

Mother sends her love to which mine is joined. All good wishes for the New Year.

With much affection, as ever,

Dad Leiffer

<>

La Jolla, California

January 20, 1976

Dear Sam,

That was a grand letter you wrote us, rec’d a week ago and we read it with much interest. We’re so glad that you are enjoying the concerts and other opportunities offered by Washington. Does the much talked about hazard of Washington streets at night have any evident effect on such functions? Glad that you have definitely joined the National U.M. Church. Am I correct in remembering it as the one just off Connecticut (Mass.?) Avenue and across from Washington University? You must have a fine choir there and a good, worshipful service.

It is a satisfaction to us also to know that you have been making good progress in writing up the Black College study. You really have become an authority on that subject. Do your writing carefully, lucidly and coherently. What you turn out will have significant bearing on your developing reputation. You are wise to take time for revising. I always need to — sometimes 3 times over! It is interesting how much more important printed articles, monographs & books rate than even very good oral addresses. I can readily understand your preferential leaning toward teaching in Howard to doing research work in the Institute. But leave a trail of friendly people who will continue to think kindly of you. We all need this.

That must have been a delightful trip to Toronto and Michigan. We know that section of Ontario rather well; both of my parents were born in the Niagara Peninsula.

Then, at the first of this week just past we got your second good letter, dated 1/8. Equally enjoyed. These, together with your phone call helped us to feel really in close touch — which enpleasured us.

We are certainly glad that you don’t want to rush into a matrimonial relationship. In spite of your advanced age of 36+ you have plenty of time and you do not want to make a mistake. I think with your sharp, independent mind you would find it impossible — or at least resulting in a deep inner tension if you were to attempt — to become a Roman Catholic. The problem would become even more acute if you married a Catholic girl and you had children. We know of a number of cases of such a marriage in which things went relatively well until children began to arrive. We would think it very wise if you did get married again and did have a couple of youngsters — but frankly we have very serious doubts about the wisdom of marriage to even with a very nice Catholic girl. I’d suggest that you date more widely. This is only fair to Mercy also — or else you’ll find that you are almost committed without consciously planning to be so tied up. Washington has hundreds of thousands of young women. Among them are plenty who are delightful persons and who would prefer marriage to a career — (of loneliness). Undoubtedly there are many fine gals in the National U.M.C. — perhaps attending its singles’ club. I’m sure there is one such club. In any case there is no hurry!

We deeply appreciate your writing us so frankly for we love you very much and are anxious not to intrude on your life or to use parental pressure but simply to tell you — what I hope you are fully aware of — that we have abiding confidence in you and, whatever you decide to do we’ll seek to be supportive — and will soon have affection for whatever girl you select (and who responds!)

Concerning ourselves: I seem to be getting along quite well. Saw both the surgeon and my regular Gen. Practitioner during this past week. Each said he thought all was okay — but that it would be months before I’d be fully back to normal. Our plans continue to be to leave here for London this coming Sunday P.M. Had we known that the surgery lay ahead I don’t think we’d have laid the travel plans. However they were all set and paid for.

Mother keeps well. We both got worn down last evening — a long Annual Meeting of our Co-op of which I had charge — and at which I had to inform them that we had to have a 20% increase in assessments beginning on March 1st. The real strain was occasioned by two women — who never have accepted responsibilities around here and are always against everything. But we feel better today and on the whole feel that the meeting went well. Several have made an effort to tell me so today. Now ballots must be prepared etc. etc.

Mother joins in sending our continuing love.

As ever,

Dad L.

P.S.

I’ve just reread (revised or corrected!) this letter and was startled at the number of changes I needed to make. Sorry!

<>

La Jolla, California

March 16, 1976

Dear Sam,

We appreciated receiving your most recent letter, which arrived some three days ago, giving us the news of your travels to the Midwest, and also announcing the decision, which you and Mercy have reached that you, will marry. We most sincerely hope that this will prove to be the right choice and that you and she will have a long life of happiness together. This will really be a challenge for you Sam because unless you love Mercy more than anyone else (including Sam) the relationship will not develop as you (and we) would like it to. We trust it will prove richer and more wonderful year by year.

We shall look forward to becoming acquainted with Mercy. It will be good to have you stop at the cabin as you return from the Philippines for a visit. Please tell Mercy that she will be most welcome, and we know we will soon love her as we do you.

It is easy to understand that your teaching and other work are easier to take, now that your personal loneliness has been assuaged. It is certainly helpful to know that one is of primary importance to another person, a loved one. It really gives one a feeling of tremendous support. And, of course, Mercy is depending on that same sense of support from you. So, never fail each other!

We are both feel well and keeping busy. We have planned several dinners and desserts for people in our apartment complex, to show them our Africa pictures. (Most have said they want to see them, so it’s their own fault if they are bored!) The swimming pool is being heated again, so we shall today get back to our former custom of a swim before lunch.

Father is writing concerning other interesting details in your letter.

Our love and best wishes.

As always,

Mother

Dear Sam,

As always, we are glad to hear from you and have read with great interest your letter of 3/9. We were not surprised that you had reached the decision to get married, in fact we thought that that was forecastable from last autumn’s letters, though we had not expected you would be traveling to the Philippines to get married. That almost certainly means you’ll be getting married in a Roman Catholic Church — which in turn would have some far reaching implications. But wherever you get married we surely wish you — and Mercy too — deep and lasting happiness. You and she will enjoy being in Singapore as well as Manila. It should be a delightful experience for you both.

You mention that you would like to return in August by way of the cabin. We will certainly be happy to see you both and to have you spend a few days with us in the mountains. Please let us know what specific dates you have in mind as soon as you can. There are several who are talking about visiting us there and as you know we need to have a little interval between sets of guests. We hope that Rocky & Frances will be with us sometime in the summer. My brother & Charlotte; two friends from Claremont & several others are talking about coming. One couple is fairly certain to come in July but no dates are as yet set for August.

I wrote a recommendation to Bishop Jesse DeWitt, which should help you get the job with the Board of Church & Society. However, as I said when you applied before you probably would be happier in the long run if you did not. I think you would find it a very difficult post to fill — in part because of the vagueness of the job description (which makes it easy for any one who does not like the incumbent to say he is not fulfilling expectations) and in part because of some of the other personnel on Board and staff. I am afraid that you are infested with too much objectivity to be happy in what is apparently a largely propagandistic organization. I rather doubt that your being married to a Catholic woman will create any obstacle but it certainly would if tensions arose and if you had not mentioned it in advance. So I think it might be astute to let Bishop DeWitt know fairly soon.

In any case don’t write a letter of resignation from your present job until you have your finger securely down on another. And if you do go to the Board job I hope you will hold in severe check your enjoyment of being caustic & mowing ‘em down. For a person in a position of authority — such as you would hold — to use sarcasm creates a sharp usually hidden resentment, which can build up. This kind of temptation is one to which I unwisely yielded too often, especially earlier in my teaching career. And sometimes Mother rebuked me for it! We trust that you will be getting a firm hold on a position that yields you greater satisfaction than your present job — either with the Board or teaching at Howard. When you do get such, plan to settle down in it — by that I mean don’t start even looking for another for at least 4 or 5 years, or you’ll be getting into a habit of shifting that does not make for good career development. Please, please forgive your dad for giving gratuitous advice! I must warn me again against doing it!

With much love and looking forward to seeing you and Mercy (We’ll surely be glad to greet & come to love her) in August in the mountains. Do keep us informed concerning marital plans and job developments.

As ever,

Dad

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La Jolla, California

[No date, circa April, 1976]

Dear Sam,

It was a real pleasure to hear your voice on Easter. Thanks again for the call. It was a good day for us. In fact each day brings its own share of privilege and joy — and occasionally a full supply of problems as well.

Glad to know that you are successfully moved to Virginia. It should be quieter & more restful even though the trip to the office and classroom will be more taxing. As we said over the phone we have marked our datebooks to pick you and Mercy up at the airport in Denver on August 1st, to get you back on August 4th. Now we have noted that your arrival & (therefore) departure may be shoved on one or two days later — which is quite okay with us and we will be happy to meet Mercy & to have chance for time with the two of you in the mountains. Incidentally we are thinking seriously of giving the cabin and acreage to the National Park Foundation for later formal conveyance to the National Park Service and have had correspondence to that effect, though of course we would have right of use as long as we lived.

We will be much interested to hear — whether the job with the Commission on Race etc. comes your way, I can see some decided advantages in it. For example we might get to see you more often. (But that is a selfish reason). However, as you are aware there is no job that is all satisfaction.

Last Monday we drove north to San Bernardino and took my nephew, his wife & two lovely youngsters to dinner. Had a good conversation about their problems and prospects. Stayed in a nearby motel and on Tuesday drove to Claremont to spend most of the day with Verna Miller (Georgia Harkness’ long time companion). We took her to lunch and heard all (or most all) her complaints again. In late afternoon we drove to Laguna Hills where we (and Eunice Baab) had a fine dinner at Inez Larson’s home. We stayed with Eunice — who has had her own painful troubles of bursitis and arthritis. About noon on Wednesday we drove home to get ready for General Conference. Early on Saturday we fly north, stopping at Eureka. We plan to have all of Sunday at Don’s Grove* if weather permits, then return (85 miles) to Eureka to take the plane to Portland & General Conference on Monday noon.

Oh yes — while in Claremont we dropped off three boxes of books and magazines with a friend who live in Pilgrim Place. There they put on a big harvest festival fair. We had already given them a big box and some smaller ones filled with used stamps of many nations. They sell such things to raise money to help with the expenses of some members of the home who need & cannot afford hospital care. I’ve not given away many professional books as yet, thinking that if you come this way you might like to look over and select ten, twenty or more. We do intend to trim down the bulk of our possessions. Removing 3 boxes of books however scarcely makes a noticeable difference.

We both keep well. The weather here has been delightful & swimming is good fun. I need to watch diet more than formerly but this is no problem.

Mother joins in sending you our love — and affectionate greetings to Mercy.

As ever,

Dad L.

* [The Don J. Leiffer Memorial Grove, dedicated on June 4, 1972, is in the Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park, Del Norte County, California, located west of the Smith River, east of the Elk Valley Road, and north of the Redwood Highway (US 199), occupying the J18 - J21 lots. The Humboldt Meridian runs south to north across Don’s Grove.]

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La Jolla, California

May 16, 1976

Dear Sam —

What a magnificent bouquet of roses we found at our door when we returned from a shopping tour yesterday afternoon. They are positively elegant, and since most are still in the bud, they will become increasingly beautiful as the days pass. Thank you very much for such a lovely remembrance for my birthday.

My celebration began with the arrival of the roses, and continued last evening as we attended a fine concert given by the La Jolla Chamber Orchestra, for which father had bought tickets on the sly. The soloist was an oboe player, who performed in two oboe concertos, one of them by Mozart. They were very well done, and it was delightful to have an oboe player out front where we could see him well. Usually one can just catch a glimpse of the oboe occasionally, or the top of the oboe player’s head!

(Monday morning) We went to church, and sat through a Children’s Day service, in which the children appeared only via multi-media — taped singing, slides showing Sunday school discussions of the Bible, and an amateur movie of a children’s version of the Prodigal Son. There can be some inspiration if one actually sees the kids in performance, but little in poorly produced technical presentations. Oh well! We must try to be tolerant!

Now, we do hope you will have a happy birthday. Perhaps you and Mercy will do something to celebrate it. I wish you could see my lovely red roses, which are opening up in splendid fashion.

Father joins in sending love and best of wishes for the year ahead.

As always,

Mother

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La Jolla, California

May 25, 1976

Dear Sam,

It suddenly struck me that quiet some time has passed since I wrote you. I believe that Mother did drop a line to express appreciation for those roses — beautiful red roses which opened in