Unconditional Love:: Letters to an Adopted Son

By Samuel Wong

Imagine an old man shifting through a pile of 260 letters that his American parents wrote him over a 30-year period, re-immersing in the love unconditionally and liberally showered on him and his family through the years, and listening to their silent yet animated voices from the past, you have the rationale for this collection of letters in your hands. Samuel Wong is that old man (age 79 at the time of this writing) and he wants the world to know his American parents, Murray and Dorothy Leiffer, the embodiment of unconditional love. Who were they? How did they become his American parents? What did they do for him and his family? What did they care about? These and other aspects of the lives of an extraordinary couple are shared through their own words. As you read them, you will be inspired by their testimony to grace and fidelity and be reminded of that which is true and honorable, civil and decent.

Letter writing has become a vanishing art form. Other than official documents and perhaps exchanges between soldiers and their loved ones at home, letter writing has lost its unique role in contemporary communication. In a world of speed and haste, letter writing is too slow and laborious for the average man and woman. We want instantaneous responses. However, the fast exchanges are at the expense of reflection and rumination and whatever is written instantly is deleted practically instantly. They leave no trace and preclude the joy and chagrin of reading what one wrote in the past. These letters show what you miss in instant messaging. They might nudge you to add a new dimension to your life: write to someone you love and care about. Old-fashioned writing is timeless and priceless!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 3, 2019
• ISBN: 9781984574602

Samuel Wong

Sam Wong began formal study of massage therapy in Northern Virginia Community College in 2010 after his retirement from government service. He is trained in Western massage and Chinese tui na. He has created the Virginian Stretch and Yin Yang Touch and has adapted massage to treating fibromyalgia, posttraumatic stress disorder, and scoliosis. Primarily a research massage therapist in private practice, Sam is a board-approved continuing education provider and board-certified in therapeutic massage and bodywork. He promotes caring for caregivers as essential for healthcare and provides free massages to veterans and their caregivers in the DC area.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Samuel Wong.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2018915215

ISBN:            Hardcover              978-1-9845-7462-6

                      Softcover                978-1-9845-7461-9

                      eBook                     978-1-9845-7460-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/02/2019

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Dedicate

d to

My brothers and sisters

Lin Ho, Peng Cheong, Peng Sung, Foo Ho and Keng Ho

And

In loving memory of

Our older brother

Peng Hoong

And

Our parents

Wong Kin Foon and Ho Low

They too have their stories

Photo%20I_Inscription.jpg

Your letters are a joy to us and we hope you will continue to keep us informed as to what is happening to our son and daughter in Asia. We love you both, as you know, and wish you well in everyway. (September 20, 1967 MHL)

Contents

About Murray and Dorothy Leiffer

Preface

Images

Chapter 1   1961-62

December 6, 1961

February 4, 1962

August 2, 1962

November 4, 1962

Chapter 2   1963

March 19, 1963

June 5, 1963

July 21, 1963

October 15, 1963

December 17, 1963

Chapter 3   1964

February 4, 1964

April 13, 1964

May 19, 1964

Chapter 4   1965

March 14, 1965

April 23, 1965

May 12, 1965

June 12, 1965

June 25, 1965

July 2, 1965

July 10, 1965

July 23, 1965

August 10, 1965

Chapter 5   1967

June 19, 1967

June 24, 1967

June 29, 1967

July 13, 1967

July 30, 1967

August 2, 1967

August 6, 1967

August 30, 1967

August 31, 1967

September 6, 1967

September 20, 1967 (MHL)

September 20, 1967 (DCL)

October 1, 1967

October 15, 1967

October 16, 2017

November 3, 1967

November 11, 1967

November 15, 1967

December 1, 1967

December 12, 1967

December 16, 1967

December 31, 1967

Chapter 6   1968

January 8, 1968

January 14, 1968

January 20, 1968

February 2, 1968

February 10, 1968

March 3, 1968

March 10, 1968

March 24, 1968

April 6, 1968

April 13, 1968

April 28, 1968

May 6, 1968

May 12, 1968

May 26, 1968

June 10, 1968

June 28, 1968

July 4, 1968

July 20, 1968

July 29, 1968

July 30, 1968

August 5, 1968

August 14, 1968

August 22, 1968

August 23, 1968

August 27, 1968

Chapter 7   1970

February 20, 1970

March 18, 1970

August 11, 1970

Chapter 8   1973

May 14, 1973

July 13, 1973

July 26, 1973

July 30, 1973

August 4, 1973

August 12, 1973

August 23, 1973

September 23, 1973 (DCL)

September 23, 1973 (MHL)

September 28, 1973 (R)

September 29, 1973

October 7, 1973

October 27, 1973 (R)

November 5, 1973

November 14, 1973 (R)

November 17, 1973

November 18, 1973

December 9, 1973

December 20, 1973 (R)

December 29, 1973

Chapter 9   1974

January 4, 1974

January 16, 1974 (R)

January 22, 1974

January 24, 1974

February 24, 1974 (R)

February 28, 1974 (MHL)

February 28, 1974 (DCL)

March 3, 1974

March 20, 1974

March 25, 1974

April 6, 1974

April 11, 1974 (R)

April 18, 1974

April 21, 1974 (R)

April 25, 1974

April 27, 1974 (R)

May 9, 1974 (R)

May 13, 1974

May 13, 1974 (DCL)

June 12, 1974

June 24, 1974 (R)

July 13, 1974 (R)

July 15, 1974

July 20, 1974

July 23, 1974

August 5, 1974 (R)

August 27, 1974

September 3, 1974

September 6, 1974 (R)

September 12, 1974 (MHL)

September 12, 1974 (DCL)

September 25, 1974

October 18, 1974

November 3, 1974

November 10, 1974 (R)

November 12, 1974

November 26, 1974

December 17, 1974 (R)

Chapter 10  1975

January 12, 1975

February 2, 1975 (R)

February 6, 1975

March 9, 1975

April 28, 1975

April 1, 1975

May 18, 1975

May 20, 1975 (R)

June 1, 1975

July 13, 1975

September 15, 1975

October 4, 1975

October 29, 1975

December 6, 1975

Glossary

Persons mentioned in the Letters

About the Editor

About Murray and Dorothy Leiffer

Murray Howard Leiffer was born in New York on August 30, 1902. Dorothy Corinne Leiffer (née Lynn) was born in Oklahoma on May 16, 1903. They graduated from the University of Southern California in 1923, married on September 9, 1924 and went to study at what was then known as Garrett Biblical Institute (which evolved into Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary). With the exception of two years spent in further graduate study and two years of teaching in Chicago Training School (later to join with Garrett), the Leiffers invested all the years between then and their retirement in 1972 in that institution.

During his tenure, Murray taught in the field of Christian social ethics, urban and rural ministry and the sociology of religion, and established and directed the Interdenominational School for Rural Leaders and the Bureau of Social and Religious Research. He was a teacher and friend of pastors, educators and leaders in religious research and a consummate servant of The United Methodist Church. His unique contributions to The United Methodist Church were to serve as a member (and later President) of its Judicial Council and as an author of various studies on the ministerial profession. He had taught and conducted research in Singapore, the Philippines and Japan.

From 1938 to 1967, Dorothy taught a seminary course, Recreational Leadership in the Local Church during which seminarians learned how to nurture the heart of a caring, loving congregation. She was an active and vital partner in all of Murray’s work. They worked together as one, or, as Murray himself put it, when he said we, he meant both he and Dorothy.

The Leiffers collaborated in 28 monographs and numerous reports and articles. The Effective City Church was their signature publication and Enter the Old Portals was their final reminiscences on a seminary campus.

Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary recognized their roles as formative figures in the history of [the] seminary by installing them as members of its Founders’ Society in 1990. It also established the Murray and Dorothy Leiffer Chair of Christian Social Ethics in 1985.

Murray died in La Jolla, California on February 1, 1992 after a massive stroke in the previous year. Four years after Murray’s death, Dorothy died on December 3, 1995. She had been living with Alzheimer’s disease since the late 1980’s. Theirs was a rich and productive union shared totally with true love across nearly 70 years.

Preface

In 1961, an American couple went to Singapore to study the status of Methodism in that country. They befriended me and encouraged me to pursue advanced training in the United States. Upon completion of my graduate work, they adopted me as their Number Two Son and became my American parents. That couple was Murray and Dorothy Leiffer.

Over a 30-year period, they wrote me letters from different parts of the world and the United States – India, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Peru, Evanston, Estes Park, Hawaii, Los Angeles and La Jolla. They told me of their work and inquired about mine. They spoke of their visits with friends. They shared about their social and civic engagements as residents, citizens and church members. They wrote freely about their travel experiences and their observations on jobs, marriage and the family, nature and retirement.

Their letters are evidence of an unconditional love flowing through all those years, a vivid reminder that I was loved as I was; not despite of or because of. They groomed me for church service, but I became a bureaucrat in the Federal Government. They expected me to honor the marriage vow of till death us do part, but I broke it in the pursuit of academic and career advancement. Yet, they never said they were disappointed in me. They looked beyond my faults and brought out the best in me. Ever since their adoption, they always signed off their letters with We love you, and their material gifts to my family and me were numerous.

They began writing to me when they were in their late 50’s and I was in my early 20’s. We had a generation gap of almost 40 years through the writing cycle. Initially, Murray was a senior faculty member of then Garrett Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois and I was a junior student in Trinity College, Singapore. In later years, they were in retirement, and I was trying to establish a career and to nurture a family. Now, as I edit their letters for publication, I feel that I am in dialogue with a couple not too much older than I am, and I am sharing their experience in growing old!

In our respective retirements, both my American parents and I feel the worn-out-ness of our body parts and the decline of our energy and strength. We get tired more easily and our energy level is not as high as it was just a few years ago. In their retirement, Murray and Dorothy stayed active and were alert to the changing social and political scenes, still offering their opinions on taxes, foreign policy, and culture. In my retirement, I try to do likewise. I live my present stage of life as though I were still modeling after them!

Besides the contents, the Leiffer letters are worthy of sharing with later generations because they show how personal letters might be written and how parents might communicate with their adult children. However, as these letters are private and personal, they are not always consistent in writing style and spelling, and some of them have repetition from previous letters. In the early days of their writing to me, Dorothy and Murray were very precise and grammatically formal: They dotted their i’s and crossed their t’s and they rarely used exclamation marks. In later years, Murray was much more comfortable to cross out what he had written, write in unending sentences without punctuation, mail the letters with his editing marks, and leave some sentences fragmented. He was fond of using capital letters, abbreviations, initials, underlines and dashes, and his salutation and signature had artistic flair and flurry. Dorothy was less flamboyant, and she usually typed her letters or sent short written notes. Occasionally, they would use uncommon words that present day spelling check red marks as mistakes. Patently, regardless of primary or sole authorship, they would sign their letters as though written by both of them.

For clarity’s sake and to minimize distraction, I have filled in many of the abbreviations and initials, omitted most of the underlines, dashes and capitalization, and streamlined some of the punctuations. At various points, I have used ellipses to indicate deletions of what might be construed as negative or personal information and have inserted square brackets and footnotes to add commentaries and information for elucidation. However, I have not tried to eliminate inconsistency in writing style or delete overlapping since these deficiencies are the essence of personal letters.

Frequently, the Leiffers referred to letters that I wrote them and I was, according to them, a four-star letter writer (March 17, 1986). Regrettably, I do not have copies of most of the letters I wrote. Whatever I have, I have inserted them in between what the Leiffers wrote to provide a clearer context and marked them with an R after the dates in the Table of Contents.

I have organized the letters into two books: Book One – Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Son – has 125 of their letters covering the period 1961-1975, from when I first met them to when my first marriage ended. Book Two – Unconditional Love: Letters to an Adopted Family – has 135 of their letters covering the period 1976-1991, from the beginning of my second marriage to the departure of Murray from this earth.

I am grateful to Beverly Judge, my partner in the early stage of my career, for allowing me to retain the salutation and references in these letters even though our life paths had diverged since 1975. She was significant in the formative years of my career. I am also grateful to Mercy Javier-Wong, my partner in the later stage of my career. She was an integral part of the letters in Book Two and she proofread meticulously the entire collection of letters and helped me clarify some of them.

These letters draw a portrait of an extraordinary couple that demonstrated in their everyday life the essence of unconditional love. They are complementary to the couple’s reminiscences on a seminary campus, Enter the Old Portals (1987); and a companion to my autobiography, A Chinese from Singapore (2009). Their words are witnesses to the grace of God. I invite you to read these letters as though they were written to you. Listen to this couple as though you were eavesdropping on their conversations. Your heart will be warmed by what you hear and you will gain fresh insights for your life.

Inspired by my American parents, I dedicate this book to my family of origin: The couple who gave birth to me and nurtured me in the first nineteen years of my life, and my sisters and brothers who made up for my deficit in traditional filial obligations. My birth parents did not understand me as well as Murray and Dorothy did, but they taught me as best as they could, allowing me to explore a world that was alien to them.

Images

Photo%20I_01.jpg

Murray and Dorothy Leiffer at the Trinity College’s Farewell Dinner for them in Singapore 1961. From L to R: Esther Stockwell, Murray, Dorothy, and Olin Stockwell. Olin Stockwell was the Principal of Trinity College.

Photo%20I_02.jpg

Murray accepting a gift set of pewter ware from the student body, 1961. Looking on were some college students, Dorothy and the Stockwells.

Photo%20I_03.jpg

Samuel Wong speaking at the Farewell Dinner, 1961. Looking on were Esther, Murray and Sam’s college mates.

Photo%20I_04.jpg

Sam presenting a gift on behalf of the student body to Dorothy after the Farewell Dinner, 1961.

Photo%20I_05.jpg

Olin Stockwell speaking to a gathering of faculty and students after the Farewell Dinner, 1961. Looking on in the front row were Peter Hsieh, a visitor, Murray and Dorothy.

Photo%20I_06.tif

Murray and Dorothy with some of the faculty and students of Trinity College at the main entrance of the St. John’s Hall, 1961.

Photo%20I_7.jpg

Page 1 of Dorothy’s first letter, an aerogram from India, to Sam, 1961.

Photo%20I_8.jpg

Page 2 of Dorothy’s first letter to Sam, 1961.

Photo%20I_9.jpg

The Leiffer’s Cabin in Estes Park, Colorado (Front view), n.d. (See August 2, 1962 note)

Photo%20I_10.jpg

The Leiffer’s Cabin (Side view), n.d.

Photo%20I_11.jpg

Murray and Dorothy with Rocky and Frances Smith in the Leiffer’s apartment in Evanston, 1966. From L to R: Rocky, Dorothy, Frances, and Murray.

Photo%20I_12.jpg

Sam donning his doctoral gown for preaching in the Castle Heights United Methodist Church, North White Plains, New York, 1974. The gown was a gift from the Leiffers. (April 6, 1974)

Chapter 1

1961-62

Stick at your studies, get in your papers on time (!) and earn the good grades that I know you are capable of making. This calls for self-discipline and the process may not be very entertaining but he who hopes to achieve leadership in the church – or in any other organization – needs to establish a reputation of self-control and planned achievement. It takes time to achieve a measure of leadership and it is best achieved when it is earned, not inherited, or gained by quick shortcuts. (August 2, 1962)

[The following is the first letter that Dorothy Leiffer wrote me after she and Murray left Singapore for New Delhi, India to attend meetings of the World Council of Churches. I was their interpreter and research assistant for the study on Methodism in Singapore.]

New Delhi, India

December 6, 1961

Dear Sam –

The school term should be over by the time you receive this, and we sincerely hope that you have been able to catch up on all the assignments that you had to neglect in order to give so much assistance to my husband in the study project.

No doubt the flurry over the report has died down now. We just hope that it won’t be all forgotten, but that at least a few people will keep nudging and pushing at new ideas and will prevent people from slumbering on the church’s job.

We shall certainly be interested in hearing from you sometime and knowing how your career opens up. We shall watch with much interest as you get into active leadership. We have a very warm feeling toward so many of the Singapore church people and feel that with a little courage they can really do a distinctive work. We have certainly got some new insights into the role of missionary during our trip.

Our visit in Singapore was a delightful experience, which we shall always remember. Will you please give our greetings to any of the students you see, who were so kind to us? We still think with great gratitude of the wonderful Farewell Dinner that the students planned for us, including the beautiful gift.

We both send our most cordial greetings and best wishes to you. We trust that our paths will cross again in the not-too-distant future.

Sincerely yours,

Dorothy Leiffer

<>

[Murray began to teach me about life in America and the nature of academic life after his return from Singapore/India. He encouraged me to come to America for graduate training in church work, with a focus in Christian education.]

Evanston, Illinois

February 4, 1962

Dear Samuel,

It was a great pleasure to receive, shortly after we arrived, your very interesting letter and also that beautiful calendar. We have mounted it on the wall of our bedroom so that we are able to check the date each morning – to be sure that nothing has gone amiss with the world since the night before.

We had a varied but altogether enjoyable trip home after leaving the World Council of Churches meetings in New Delhi, arriving here on the evening of January 2. That was just in time for registration for the Winter Quarter, which began the next morning. Since then we have been busy with classes, field trips, participation in conferences (two of them), entertaining students at the house and so forth. Our BOAC flight from London was delayed. In fact we were supposed to get a plane on Tuesday morning, which was originally scheduled to leave on Sunday morning. Even so no time had been set for actual departure by Tuesday 2 P.M. so we asked to be changed to a Pan Am flight. That worked all right except that we could not get our suitcases. They finally reached Chicago a week after we did. Fortunately we had some other clothes here.

Our enrollment here at Garrett for this quarter is about 400 – just about the same as last year. I have 30 in my class in Christian Social Ethics and 11 in a seminar on the Church and Industrial Relations. We have had some worthwhile sessions with two labor leaders and next week will visit a big pharmaceutical factory – Abbott Lab.

The winter here has been unusually cold, the temperature dropping one night to -15°, i.e., 15° below zero. That is cold enough for me. In fact I prefer Singapore in the winter. But today the temp. rose to 50° F and when spring finally does come Evanston is very beautiful indeed.

I hope that long before this you have been able to complete all of your back assignment and have recovered somewhat from all the hard work you did with me. It was good to learn that our report is being published in the Southern Bell. The response of the Chinese to our report was, I thought, highly encouraging. I wonder if any of the churches will change their names as we suggested – also whether there is a more open attitude toward the establishment of one (instead of two) Annual Conference in Malaya and Singapore.

Has your mother returned from her trip back to the Homeland? If so, what does she have to say about conditions there? And how did she find her relatives?

What will be done to find a new pastor for the Cantonese Church? Where did the former pastor go? And why? How is your Intermediate MYF progressing? You see we are hungry for news because an important part of us has remained in Singapore. You yourself have frequently been in our conversation. We heard that in the Malaya Annual Conference the laymen and pastors combined to put through a ruling requiring the auditing of books by an outside firm over some objections from the Board of Education and the Board of Christian Education. That was good news.

I hope you will continue with your plan to study for the AB from the University of London. To take work and pass examinations in that manner is not easy but we have great confidence in you. You may be sure that in all things we wish you well and will follow with lively interest what you do.

My wife joins me in sending cordial greetings. Please say hello to any others who may remember us.

Sincerely yours,

Murray H. Leiffer

<>

Estes Park, Colorado

August 2, 1962

Dear Samuel,

We have read with much interest and appreciation your letters of June 19 and July 11. Thank you for your courtesy and care in taking my brother and his wife to a good Chinese restaurant and in showing them the town. They have written us saying how much they enjoyed the whole experience and the chance to come to know you and the Stockwells. We were glad you took them, the Stockwells, also. If there was some money left over, that is fine with us. It belongs to you.

We had a good laugh over your comment that my studying the Methodist Episcopacy is almost akin to playing with tigers. Well, it really is not that bad or that threatening. As the matter has turned out, some of the bishops have shown considerable nervousness about the interviews, which usually last for about two hours. So far I have interviewed 35 of them, or over half of the total. It is turning out to be a very interesting study and I hope will prove of much value to the church. Certainly the bishops have been very cooperative. The Council of Bishops appointed, as I requested, a Consultation Committee of seven members to confer with me. I could not ask for more than they have done.

You are right. It is very important that you stick at your studies, get in your papers on time (!) and earn the good grades that I know you are capable of making. This calls for self-discipline and the process may not be very entertaining but he who hopes to achieve leadership in the church – or in any other organization – needs to establish a reputation of self-control and planned achievement. It takes time to achieve a measure of leadership and it is best achieved when it is earned, not inherited, or gained by quick shortcuts. You have much ability, Sam. Of this I am confident. Maintain (1) your Christian faith, (2) your patience with slow moving people and institutions, and (3) your determination to do good, substantial work which will stand up under testing. Do these things and you will grow in faith and in professional stature as the years pass. I earnestly hope you have many years to give in Christian service. At present you are laying a broad foundation for those years. I am much pleased that you are moving ahead toward taking the A.B. exam.

We received copies of the two reports prepared by the subcommittees of the Future Plans Committee of Wesley Church and were much impressed by the excellent job they did. I had written to Gunnar Teilman and Dr. Khoo Oon Teik to say so and to add a few comments.

We are at present staying at a little cabin* we have had for almost 20 years in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. It is in a valley but nevertheless is at 9000 feet elevation. Nights here are always cool, the temperature dropping to about 40°. When we arose two mornings ago, it stood at 36°, not much above freezing. We enjoy it here very much – no telephone. Also no electricity and we get our water from a pump. Our nearest neighbor is about 800 feet away. We expect to stay here until August 25 and during that time hope to have a visit from our son. We have seen him for less than a day (as we passed through Los Angeles en route to Singapore) since 1960. He teaches anthropology in a Junior College in Los Angeles. While here we are continuing work on the study of the episcopacy. Such a project takes a great deal of time, assembling data and analyzing various questionnaires, interviews, etc.

We enjoyed reading the various items of news that you conveyed to us about persons we know, about the Cantonese and Wesley Churches, and about Trinity. Incidentally it might interest you that Dr. Walter Williams, whom [you] referred to as an old man was a student of mine, years ago. My wife and I got a big laugh out of that.

We think of you frequently and always wish you well. I hope too that before too many years have passed and you have your A.B. perhaps in 1965 you can come to America and to Garrett to study. My wife joins in sending cordial greetings to you.

Please say hello for us to the Stockwells, Elmer Hall, the other teachers at T.T.C. [Trinity Theological College] and also greet your parents for me.

With best wishes,

Sincerely yours,

Murray H. Leiffer

* [The Leiffers bought a rustic log cabin near Estes Park (in the Tahosa Valley), Colorado in 1941. It was their vacation home to which they returned every summer until 1988. In 1979, they donated the cabin, along with 12 acres of land, to the National Park Service, in memory of their son, Donald John, who died in 1970, at age 45. According to the Estes Park Trail-Gazette, (August 22, 1979): The log cabin was built in 1923. Its massive rock fireplace was the only source of heat and kerosene lamps were the only source of light in the evening. It had no electricity. I had visited the cabin several times.]

<>

Evanston, Illinois

November 4, 1962

Dear Samuel:

Since my husband has done all the letter writing to you so far, and since he has not got around as yet to answer your very interesting letters, which arrived late in the summer, I shall occupy at least part of this sheet with my own writing! Perhaps if I leave a small section of it for him, he will find it possible at least to dash off a note and get it in the mail. He has been frightfully busy with a variety of projects. First, of course, teaching at Garrett is bound to require some time, even though the President is not demanding of him. But one’s conscience keeps one pretty well in line. Then he has been serving as acting director of the Department of Research and Statistics of the Council on World Service and Finance…. On top of this, he has done an amazing job of interviewing bishops. Just now he is in San Antonio, Texas, where tomorrow he is to interview Bishops Angie Smith and Paul Galloway. This will leave only one more active U.S. bishop to be interviewed, though he hopes to have conferences with about three more overseas bishops (who will be coming to the U.S.) and a few more retired bishops. — So, altogether, I suppose it is not surprising that he has let his correspondence go unattended for a bit.

Before I go any farther, let me say how pleased we were to hear about your understanding with the young lady in K.L. This is very important to us, for we feel that you will be able eventually to make a genuine contribution to the Christian faith and community in Malaya – both intellectually and spiritually – and naturally your life-partner will assist in this. But, besides that, we are both very fond of you and hope for you genuine and lasting happiness in this relationship. Please do tell us a little more about her. You asked my opinion as to whether a pastor’s wife should have a theological education. I should say that the most important thing (in that area) is that she has had a convincing experience in Christian faith and that she shares your enthusiasm for spreading the gospel through work in the church. Secondarily, of course, it would be helpful if she had enough theological education so that she could be a stimulating and interested conversationalist with you on theological questions. However, if she is intellectually alert and inquisitive (and I imagine you would be attracted to this sort of person) she will acquire the ideas and the vocabulary before long!

We were much interested to hear that you are assigned to a position in Kuala Lipis for next year. When shall you take up the work there? As I look at the map, you will be just about in the middle of the Malayan Peninsula, from north to south and east to west. It sounds as though you will have a large enough responsibility so that you will never need to wonder how to occupy your time. How does this assignment by two conferences work? Who is responsible to see that your salary is paid?

I have enjoyed your references now and then to our recreation course, and should have liked to be at the conference, to hear Dr. Stockwell’s remark about dancing. I think it is too bad that there has been excitement over the matter of dancing. Certainly no one should promote folk dancing as if it were a cause. There are so many delightful varieties of recreational activity that one doesn’t need to specialize on dancing. However, the problem usually is that young people (having been exposed to movies and other cultural stimuli) feel they would like to include folk dancing. And I think the elders are much wiser when they try to understand this natural interest and agree that it is better for the young people to have their recreation under church auspices.

I’ll leave the rest for my husband.

With all good wishes,

Dorothy Leiffer

Dear Sam,

Thank you for your good letters. We enjoy hearing from you. I am pleased to learn that you are planning to sit for the A.B. exam from the Univ. of London. That is a good idea. When will you be taking them and of what do they consist? For how many days & hours do you write? And on what subjects? Keep us informed.

Perhaps you have a spare picture of your lady friend. If so, do send it to us that we may begin to get acquainted. What is her name and where do her parents live? You evidently remember well some of the talks that we had concerning such important matters as getting married.

We do not have an address for you in Kuala Lipis. When do you go there? I judge that you are completing your work at Trinity next month. Is that correct?

Please convey my respects to your parents. We were interested to learn a little about your mother’s experiences in China. Perhaps you will tell us more sometime.

With every good wish to you in your work,

I am cordially yours,

Murray H. Leiffer

Chapter 2

1963

If each of us does the best he can and all he can, out of gratitude to God for the chance to spend some years in this fascinating world, I guess that’s enough. (June 5, 1963)

[I graduated from Trinity College in December 1962 and was assigned to a remote outpost at Kuala Lipis, Pahang. The book, A Chinese from Singapore, has an account of that assignment, pp. 194-200.]

Evanston, Illinois

March 19, 1963

Dear Sam:

I mentioned to my husband the other day that I thought we owed you a letter. He could hardly believe that this was so, being quite sure that we had written since receiving your good letters written in early January. However, I still felt so sure that I was right, that I said I would write you a letter now, regardless, and then at least we could be sure that your letters were acknowledged. We did enjoy them very much and found them most interesting. Also we appreciated so much receiving the excellent graduation picture – of you in your academic gown and holding your diploma. It is very handsome of you, and we are grateful to you for sending it.

No doubt you have now become so immersed in your work in and around Kuala Lipis that academic courses, examinations, and school life in general seem to have receded far into the background. Dr. Stockwell tells us that you are doing a great job in church leadership where you are. He sounds just like a proud father. And we feel real satisfaction, too, in hearing such reports about your work.

We presume that you heard promptly about the death of Mr. Berckman. Such news travels fast. Dr. Stockwell had word to us about it within a few days after it occurred. We had expected the news, of course, but felt quite sad when it arrived. We felt great admiration for Mr. Berckman’s courage and serenity, as he lived from day to day, knowing that his remaining days were few. We are grateful that we came to know him and his wife when we were in Singapore. They have been an inspiration to us.

I shall refer to some of the items in your letters, even at the risk of repeating. It was a joy to hear that your mother was able to attend the graduating exercises at Trinity. She must have felt a thrill at it all, even though she could not