Six Hundred Incisions and Other Stories

By Khabyr Fasasi

Six Hundred Incisions is a collection of contemporary African short stories which make vivid satirical statements especially on the individual, social and religious lives of the people, young and old, as characterised by desperation, deception, fear of retributive justice, human failings and marital infidelity. Woven in simple everyday language, sometimes serious and at other times hilarious, the narratives are easy to grasp, the actions depict the reality of lives of the people, the characters are commonplace and the setting is familiar.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Sep 11, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524683450

Khabyr Fasasi

Khabyr Alowonle Fasasi PhD is of the Department of English Language and Literature, Alvan Ikoku Federal College of Education, Owerri, Nigeria where he teaches courses in Applied Linguistics, Stylistics, Semantics and Grammar to both NCE and Degree students. Although Six hundred incisions and other stories is his first collection of short stories, he has two collections of poetry titled Tongues of Warning (2013) and Spells of Solemn Songs (2015) to his credit in addition to scholarly works in learned journals.

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© 2017 Khabyr Fasasi. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 08/21/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8357-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8345-0 (e)

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Dedication

To the faithful Fasasian quartet: Aaliyah, Asmaau, Aasiyah and Aishah

Acknowledgements

I thank the distinguished members of the Department of English language and Literature, Alvan Ikoku Federal College of Education, Owerri for the friendly and cooperative ambience they warmly provided for me. I also give great thanks to the vibrant School of Arts, Alvan Ikoku Federal College of Education, Owerri.

The Egbe Omo Oodua in Alvan community, I salute your courage and brotherly support. Do not tear our garment of honour!

I acknowledge my mother, Nimotallah Ayinke aya Fasasi Ogunkoya who since decades has decided to offer me nothing but deluge of prayers.

Finally, I give glory to the One who holds my life in His hands. I praise Him with praises equal to the number of His creations, praises in the number that pleases Him, praises mighty as His Throne and praises equal to the number of His Words.

Contents

Men Of Religion

Who Is Insane?

Six Hundred Incisions

One Bad Turn

I Know My Fear

The Crazy Couple

Lagos Pure Water

What A Mother!

Men of Religion

The condition of the labour market in the country, for decades now, has not been smiling on the multitudes of fresh graduates churned out every year by numerous universities and other institutions of higher learning. Many of these youths, coming out of these institutions with very high hopes of a worthy future, soon surrender to despair and resignation when, after three to five years of vain search for jobs, they still rely on their parents for basic necessities of life. Many of them have therefore taken their faith in their heads, in their hands and in their palms.

Samson was not an exception. He had graduated with a good grade from a notable federal university where he had studied Agricultural Engineering. Hope was hanging very high in the sky. He had written Letters of Application in response to numerous advertisements but the result was that Samson was still at home: hope fell flat. Those politicians in governments only care about their roomy purses and unborn families. Four years into this jobless and pointless existence, he had thought of getting himself useful in the church. He now wanted to be a minister of God. Some of his colleagues have made it that way. And as a pastor, one’s fat salary is assured, one is in-charge of a number of clerical transactions which fetch a lot of rewards: financial, material and spiritual. What with the social respect that comes with that office.

With this thought in mind, Samson soon enrolled for a pastoral course in a theological college in town and in a matter of two years; the college had turned Samson into a vibrant pastor. He soon landed a job in one of the vineyards of the Lord.

Samson had now been nurturing and pasturing the sheep of the House of Heavenly Praise Church for the past seven years during which he had never encountered any problem like this one from the congregation. He had always been of the position that good Christians must serve the Lord with all their zeal, their might and their penny. But with recent turn of events in the church, he had started to wonder whether the Almighty Lord whose cause he had been proclaiming to all had not forsaken him to be booed by the fetish lot he was trying to redeem.

Actually, he had been single-handedly overseeing the church now for years, during which time the House of Heavenly Praise had grown tremendously from its flock of less than fifteen to over three hundred worshippers. This increase, he reasoned, was due to his singular and unreserved efforts at winning souls for the church and the Lord he served. Of course, the influx of more members would normally translate into more tithes and offerings, not to mention the numerous gifts that would come from members who were pleased with the pastor’s prayers for them. With this boost in the strength of the worshippers came greater recognition of the branch by the headquarters. What with the fat monthly remittance to the headquarters? The branch, under his nurturing, now became a reference point of sort.

But the growth of the church had brought with it some unpleasant developments which had in turn caused Samson a lot of headache. This particular headache seemed not ready to abate, especially when money, the root of all evil, was involved. With the growth of the church came the need to create new committees and expand the existing ones so that the affairs of the church would be better and properly managed. Being naive when it comes to human psychology, he had been solely instrumental in selecting members to the most sensitive committees, members he had selected only by judging them based on ostensible appearances. And it was some of these members whom he had chosen with a lot of trust in them to serve the Lord with all devotion that were giving him the nightmare of his life and threatening to tear his church to fragments.

Some of these men who now held key positions in the House of Heavenly Praise saw the movement of money from members to the purse of the church. They saw the monthly inflow of tithes and what it amounted to. They saw the weekly donations to the church during services. And they saw regularly that Samson, as the pastor-in-charge, enjoyed certain financial and material rewards from the congregation. They argued that since they were also involved in taking charge of the affairs of the church, they too should enjoy some remuneration, at least on monthly basis. After all, they were also working in the vineyard of the Lord. And isn’t it true that one who feeds a baby does not feed the earth. Samson had refused blatantly to accept their position saying that those who work in the vineyard of the Lord must not expect any material reward but look up to the heavens.

The men had however stood their ground. When they realised that Pastor Samson was not going to listen to them, they had started influencing the church members against the pastor. Unsubstantiated information had it that these members had even started seeking the help of some fetish powers to achieve their aims.

‘I will never allow this to happen!’ Samson had vowed again and again while talking to himself, as he often did of late. ‘This church is my baby and I am doing this to expand the kingdom of Christ, our Lord. All their evil plans will never see the light of day!’ He had decided that warring with these evil men with feverish bouts of prayers and endless days of dry fasting would solve the problem. So, on regular basis in his house nowadays, he would kneel down and pray and curse fervently to the effect that his Lord should come and deal with these children of the devil in his church.

‘Oh Lord, come and destroy them…. Banish them and their evil deeds… Holy Ghost fire!’

And his wife would join in at the invitation of her husband’s commanding and feverish voice.

‘I command you in the name of Jesus! Let your fire consume them…’

‘A – men!’

‘Heavenly hosts destroy them!’

‘A – men!’

‘Father, you are the most powerful!’

‘Oh yes! Daddy’

‘You destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah!’

‘Yes, my Lord!’

‘Destroy them with your fire. Fire! Fire!’

‘A – men!’

‘Oh! Sheribaba ramadima brashanga, sherima dima braca…’

‘A – men! Father…’

‘Take control, Father Lord!

‘A – men!’

On an on the prayers went and for weeks unending. At the end of each session, husband and wife would have become soaked in sweats and seriously spent. The fasting too was continuous and Samson was growing gaunt. But despite these bouts of prayers and endless days of fasting, the sessions seemed not to bring about any change in the state of affairs with these people. Instead, it appeared as if the men in question were getting greater spiritual support – taking more daring actions – as they were instigating more and more church members against the pastor.

The men who had been causing him sleepless nights were indeed among the many