Rested Soul, Resilient Heart: Finding Hope in the Storms of Abuse and Betrayal

By Konnie Viner

Gods faithfulness seems elusive when abuse and betrayal cause devastating emotional storms of brokenness. Victims experience deep soul wounds of rejection, humiliation, shame, and loss from ones who vowed to honor them. Statistics are alarming: one in three women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime, and one in two women will experience betrayal or divorce.

It has been said that it takes years to build trust and seconds to break it. If you have experienced the wounds of abuse or betrayal, you know that to be painfully true. The deepest wounds come from the closest relationships. Adultery and abuse break the covenant of love, trust, and honor. There will be difficult decisions ahead, but Jesus is the true anchor that holds securely in every storm.

In Week 1, Devastated, you will begin to assess the damage caused by your storm of brokenness

In Week 2, Deceived, you can allow Gods truth to help you abandon the lies of your abuser.

In Week 3, Distressed, you can find courage to address your fears.

In Week 4, Defined, you will learn to appropriate Gods promises for your life.

In Week 5, Drawn, you will affirm your worth as a child of God.

In Week 6, Determined, you can accept Gods plan for your future.

In Week 7, Derailed, you will learn how to avoid traps intended to sidetrack you.

In Week 8, Devoted, you will learn how to abide daily in the presence of God, the one who loves you unconditionally and will never fail you.

You can rely on Gods promised faithfulness, which is the key that unlocks hope in the darkest emotional storms. A journey, which began in brokenness, can end in renewed trust as God faithfully provides rest for your weary soul and strength for your broken heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 28, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512780550

Konnie Viner

Konnie Viner is writing to encourage women who have been traumatized by abuse, betrayal, or divorce. Rested Soul, Resilient Heart was written to help women find hope and healing by trusting in God’s unconditional love and faithfulness. During her storms of brokenness, she journaled desperate prayers and God faithfully provided wisdom, strength, and healing. She is a former crisis center advocate, founder of a ministry for abuse victims, and leader of abuse support groups. Konnie is a former secondary education teacher and tutor. She has a B.S. in Education from the University of Kansas and M.S. in Business Management from the University of Redlands, CA. She is self-employed in New Hampshire and loves spending time with her children and grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2017 Konnie Viner.

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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked AMP are from The Amplified Bible, Old Testament copyright 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified Bible, New Testament copyright 1954, 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV). Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked GNT are taken from the Good News Translation — Second Edition. Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from The NET Bible Copyright 2005 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. www.bible.org All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked as (CEV) are taken from the Contemporary English Version Copyright 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-8056-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8057-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8055-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017904407

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/27/2017

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

—Psalm 62:5-6

In the quietness of time,

in the silence of the day,

there is no greater volume

than what your Lord will say.

Contents

Introduction

Week 1 Devastated—Assess the Damage

Week 2 Deceived—Abandon the Lies

Week 3 Distressed—Address Your Fears

Week 4 Defined—Appropriate God’s Promises

Week 5 Drawn—Affirm Your Worth

Week 6 Determined—Accept God’s Plan

Week 7 Derailed—Avoid Future Traps

Week 8 Devoted—Abide in His Presence

Concluding Thoughts

Comforting Words of Jesus

Discussion Questions

Bibliography

Introduction

God not only heals our bodies but also our minds and souls.

For I am the Lord who heals you.

—Exodus 15:26 New International Version

Are you in a dark storm of brokenness? Have you been devastated by abuse, betrayal, rejection, lies, deception, loss, separation, or divorce? Have you been wounded by statements like these:

• I’m not attracted to you anymore. I deserve to be happy!

• You aren’t meeting my needs. I’m in love with someone else.

• You’re a loser. Who would ever want you?

• I will get custody of the kids; no one will believe you.

• You’re crazy, and I’ll prove it in court!

• Do you want to look over your shoulder the rest of your life? I’ll find you!

• You’re just overreacting again! Get over it and fix my dinner!

You may have heard different words, but the intended messages are the same.

• I’m in control!

• I hold the power in the relationship!

• You have no value to me.

• I can hurt you emotionally, verbally, and physically.

• Do not oppose my authority! I will get my way.

• Only my needs are important.

• My words and actions are justified.

The person creating your storm is an abuser, and he has specific goals.

• to assert power and control over you

• to destroy your self-confidence and self-worth

• to avoid responsibility and consequences

• to minimize your pain

• to make you think you are crazy

• to create a different version of events

• to shift blame onto you

• to place his needs above yours

• to continue the abuse and/or betrayal

One name of God is El Roi which means the God who sees. El Roi was first used by an emotionally abused and fearful woman who was facing an uncertain future. In Genesis 16:11 (NIV), an angel appeared and told her, …the Lord has heard of your misery. You can be assured that El Roi has seen everything which you have endured and heard your cries for help. But as for me I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me (Micah 7:7 NIV).

Another name of God is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who heals. It is written in Exodus 15:26 (NIV), For I am the Lord, who heals you. God not only heals our bodies but also our minds and souls. Abuse and betrayal create overwhelming storms of brokenness, worthlessness, and hopelessness. God promises healing and strength when we trust in him. We are assured in Psalm 147:3 (NIV), He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Jehovah Rapha longs to set you on your healing path today.

In brokenness, God’s faithfulness seems elusive. Physical pain overshadows everything in the body, and emotional pain brings a dark storm, enveloping every aspect of daily living. Emotional soul-wounds take much longer to heal than physical scars.

A friend once asked, "How does an emotionally wounded woman move from victim to victorious?" I had not thought about that question before, but I knew what Jehovah Rapha was using to heal me.

Without hesitation, I answered, Looking for God’s faithfulness every day! Affirming his faithfulness was the key that unlocked hope in my storm of brokenness. And God will be faithful to unlock hope for you; it is his nature. Listen to what he proclaims to you in Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV): I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

I have prayed for you, my sister storm-survivor. God is the only one who can heal your soul-wounds. He promises rest for your weary soul and strength for your broken heart because he is your rock and refuge. As the psalmist wrote in Psalm 62:5–6 (NIV), Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Rested Soul, Resilient Heart was written to guide you in expressing your brokenness to God and trusting him daily for hope, healing, and guidance. There are eight chapters with five daily prayer and journaling sections each week.

• In Week 1, Devastated, you will begin to assess the damage caused by your storm of brokenness.

• In Week 2, Deceived, you can allow God’s truth to help you abandon the lies of your