Only God Can Judge Me

By Mat Gittany

John Cross is a man with strong morals and family values. He is the best detective in Captain Dunns department. That is, until he arrives home from work late one night and finds his daughter, Jenny, brutally raped and murdered in her bedroom. From that moment onwards, Johns life spirals down into the depths of hell, and he loses his job, his family, and everything he had once loved. He wakes one morning to realize there is only one way outrevenge.

John turns vigilante and hunts down pedophiles in the hopes of finding and killing the one who took his daughter. The public considers him a hero, but the police have a different viewno one is allowed to take the law into their own hands, not even an ex-cop. Will John find his daughters killer and deliver justice for Jenny, or will he be caught out by his ex-partner, Max Hardy, who is hot on his heels?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Nov 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524519599

Mat Gittany

Mat Gittany was born in New South Wales, Australia, in November 1985. He works as a builder and enjoys playing soccer. Mat took up writing when he was twenty-eight years old. It all started, one day, when he couldn’t go to work because it was raining. A story popped into his head, and he decided it was good enough to put down on paper. By the end of that rainy week, he had written a whole book. From there, writing became an addiction, and now, along with Only God Can Judge Me, Mat has also written a trilogy about a professional street fighter named Mark Renner. Mat currently lives in Illawong and is working on his first science fiction novel and a romance novel as well.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Mat Gittany.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016919155

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5245-1961-2

                Softcover        978-1-5245-1960-5

                eBook             978-1-5245-1959-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 11/17/2016

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

752198

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 1

J ohn sits anxiously at a table in a diner, a half-smoked cigarette

sitting in the ash tray as he sips on a flask full of whiskey. His thoughts are racing, and the whiskey sure isn’t helping, but he needs the soothing effects of the alcohol in his system. With his right hand, he drinks from the flask, and in the other, he clenches a nine-millimetre Glock pistol that is resting on his lap, unseen to anyone. Although, if they looked over, they might think he seemed a little suspicious. He was dressed in all black with a hood over his head, and his nervousness was plain to see.

John slowly lifts his head to take a good long look around the room. He sits patiently as he watches the man who he believes raped and killed his 11-year-old daughter, waiting for him to leave so he can follow him home. Every minute that passes feels excruciating. He knows what he has to do, but the wait is killing him. It is hard for him to just sit there and watch the man, who brutally murdered his daughter, live his life like there is nothing on earth to worry about. It takes every bit of strength to stop himself from drawing his weapon, putting it against the guy’s head, and blowing his brains all over the wall, right there and then, but John knew if he just shot him in the head, it would end his life too quickly. John didn’t want that. He wanted to make him suffer. The guy didn’t deserve a quick death.

His name is Gilbert Low, and he has no idea what is waiting for him. John sits and watches him like a hawk as he eats alone. Gilbert is humming as he eats his food, enjoying every mouthful. He signals to the waitress to bring him more tomato sauce. John keeps drinking as he tries to wait patiently for Gilbert to finish his meal. His patience is wearing thin, but he manages to bottle his rage and just keep drinking. As he drinks, he starts picturing his beautiful loving daughter in his mind. Every time he sees her, he gets so angry, and it makes him angrier still to think that his memories of her are now tainted with rage. It makes it even harder for him to just sit there and watch Gilbert eating his chicken parmigiana, happy as a clam. He knows he can’t kill him there; he knows he needs to get him alone so that he doesn’t get caught. No one can know that he is the killer.

As John waits for Gilbert to leave the diner, he thinks back. Back to just over a year ago, to the night before his life changed forever—one night before his sweet innocent daughter was raped and murdered.

Just over a year ago on a Sunday night, John and his wife Amy hosted a dinner for their closest friends. Amy was a beautiful woman, and John knew he was lucky to have her. Every time he looked at her, he couldn’t help but smile. It was the little things he liked best about her. The way she moved, the touch of her hand on his face. She liked to sing when she cooked, and she was doing that now while making dinner for their friends and dancing around the kitchen.

They were expecting their friends for dinner at about 6.00 p.m. that night. There was Max, John’s police detective partner and his best and closest friend for over twenty years. There was also Mike and his wife Debby. They had two boys that they were bringing with them tonight to play with John’s three kids while the grown-ups chatted. Mike was the police Captain and had known John ever since the day John joined the force. Debby was the rock in Mike’s relationship, and even though she knew it, she was far too humble to take advantage of it. They all arrived just as Amy was putting the finishing touches to the salad. The five of them sat around the outside table, talking and having a laugh as the kids played inside.

‘So, Max, when are you going to meet a nice girl and settle down?’ Amy asked.

This was the new topic of conversation whenever Max was around. The group had realised Max got a little nervous when talking about relationships, settling down, or long-term commitments, and they had made it their mission to rattle him whenever they could.

‘Yeah, Max, you’re 38 years old. You’re not a young man anymore. Don’t you think it’s time you found a girlfriend and settled down?’ John said.

‘Hey, I am still a young man. You’re the one who is old,’ Max said, looking about nervously, as if a girlfriend was going to pop out of the shadows and tie him down to a commitment.

‘What? I am only two years older than you,’ John said, laughing at Max’s poor effort to stay cool.

‘And don’t you forget it! To answer your question, Amy, never. I don’t think I’ll ever settle down. I don’t want to end up like these two,’ Max said as he laughed, gesturing at John and Mike. They pulled faces at him in return.

‘And what’s wrong with ending up like our husbands?’ Debby asked, a mock-pained expression on her face.

‘Look at them, greying hair on their heads, in their checkered shirts, and torn up jeans.

They just look so old and run down. It has to be the wife and kids’ fault,’ Max said in a playful way.

Everyone laughed. ‘Tell the truth, Max, you know you are just jealous,’ Amy said, knowingly.

‘All jokes aside, Amy, you are right. It would have been nice if I could find a woman to settle down and start a family with. It’s my dream, really, but it might just be too late for me now. I’m getting old. My prospects seem dim. There are no nice women left in this part of town. I wasn’t lucky like these two. I didn’t find the love of my life when I was 21,’ Max said.

‘Max, you are handsome, and you’re a great man. I’m sure you will find someone special soon. Don’t give up on love. It is everywhere around you. That special someone is right around the corner. You will find her. I’m sure of it,’ Debby said.

‘Pray that you don’t—married life is hell,’ Mike said in a fake whisper as everyone laughed.

Debby took a swipe at Mike. ‘I’m serious!’ she said.

As everyone sat around the table enjoying the food and having a good time, John watched them with a big smile on his face. John loved his life. He had his dream job, he had married the love of his life, and he had three amazing kids and friends that felt like they were family. John had everything a man could ever want, but unbeknownst to him, in less than twenty-four hours, his life would change forever, and everything he had come to know and loved would be ripped apart. The laughs went on for hours, but it was getting late, and everyone had to work the next day, so they soon started packing up the dinner plates and getting ready to head home. Mike and his family were the first to leave, so John and Amy walked them to the door to say their final goodbyes.

‘Thanks for having us. We had a great night, as usual. Your cooking is always so delicious, Amy. You have to send me that recipe later. Mike wants me to cook it for him again soon,’ Debby said.

‘I am glad you had a good night. Thanks for coming. Of course, I’ll email you the recipe as soon as I find it. It’s in one of my many cookbooks I have floating around the house,’ Amy said.

‘Boys, what do you say to Mr and Mrs Cross?’ Mike said to his two boys.

‘Thanks for having us,’ both boys said in unison.

‘You are most welcome,’ John replied.

John’s eldest daughter Jenny came running to the door, intent on saying goodbye to her favourite Aunt and Uncle. ‘Bye, Uncle Mike. Bye, Aunty Debby! Come back soon!’ Jenny said.

‘Bye, sweetie,’ Debby said.

‘Come here, come give your Uncle Mike a kiss goodbye,’ Mike said.

Jenny ran over to Mike, giggling, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Eventually, after a few more goodbyes, Mike and his family left the house, and John closed the door behind them.

‘Okay, young lady, time for bed, and make sure your brother and sister go to bed as well,’ Amy said.

‘Okay, Mummy. Goodnight, Uncle Max,’ Jenny said.

‘Good night, beautiful,’ Max replied, ruffling her hair as she sped past him.

Jenny ran up the stairs. She ran half way up and stopped, thinking as she turned back around to the adults standing in the hallway. ‘Daddy, are you gonna come tuck me in?’ Jenny asked.

‘Of course, I will be up in a minute. Go get your brother and sister and make sure they are all tucked in, and I’ll come see you soon,’ John said.

‘Well, it’s time for me to get going myself,’ Max said.

‘What? Why don’t you stay for a bit? I’ll crack out the good whiskey,’ John said.

‘Nah, not this time. It’s getting late, and I am getting pretty tired. Long day, you know? I will see you in the morning, as per usual. Thanks for everything. Nighty night, I’m off,’ Max said.

‘Goodnight, partner,’ John said, grabbing Max in a huge bear hug. Feeling a bit awkward after the hug, he stuck out his hand and grabbed Max’s, shaking it vigorously. He slapped him on the back and sent him on his way.

After Max left, John checked with Amy that all the dishes had been put away and the dining room had been cleaned up. He put away a few of the toys the kids had been playing with in the living room and then went upstairs to put Jenny to bed. He walked into her room and saw that she was already lying on her bed. ‘Did you brush your teeth?’ he asked.

‘Yes, Daddy,’ Jenny replied.

‘And did you say your prayers?’ John asked.

Jenny went quiet and just lay in bed with a cheeky smile on her face.

‘I will take that as a no. Come on, I will say them with you,’ John said. It was their ritual to say their prayers every night, to thank God for their blessings.

Jenny got out of bed, and they both kneeled down by the side of the bed. They both made the sign of the cross. ‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen,’ John and Jenny said together.

‘God, we thank you for all you have given us. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful family and great friends, and please watch over my beautiful daughter Jenny as she sleeps. Thank you. Amen,’ John said.

‘God, I would like to thank you for my mummy and my daddy who I love very much.

Thank you for my sister and my brother, and please look after them. Amen,’ Jenny said, then they both made the sign of the cross.

‘Okay, baby, time for bed,’ John said when they were done. He lifted her into bed and tucked the sheets in so that she was nice and snug. ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ John said as he kissed her on the forehead.

‘Goodnight, Daddy. I love you,’ Jenny replied.

After he tucked Jenny into bed, he quickly checked in on the younger kids who were already fast asleep. Then he made his way to his room, yawning and trying not to fall asleep on his feet. Amy was already in bed, looking cute with her reading glasses on while she read from her favourite novel. John got changed into his pyjamas and lay down next to Amy, who put her book away to get ready for bed. He got under the blanket, then turned the bed side lamp off. John snuggled up alongside Amy and kissed her on the back of her neck. ‘Goodnight, baby. I love you,’ John said.

‘Night, John, I love you too,’ Amy replied.

John closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face. His last thoughts were of his family and the peace he felt being with them. He didn’t know it, but that night would be the last night he would ever fall asleep with a smile on his face. It was the last night he would see Jenny alive, and the last time he would ever know true happiness, for the next day, his life would be changed forever.

John awoke. It was a Monday, and like every other work day, John would wake up, have a shower, and then get dressed in a cheaply made suit.

John had the same ritual for every morning. Routine calmed him down, and he just found things so much easier to cope with—especially considering the unpredictable nature of his work, if he followed the same patterns every morning. Once he got dressed, he put his phone in his left pants pocket, his wallet in the right, and his detective badge went inside his coat pocket. Lastly, he took his black nine millimetre Glock pistol out of the safe, checked to see if the safety was on, then put it in his holster that was attached to his belt. Once he got ready, he went downstairs to have breakfast with his family. The three kids were already up and ready, sitting around the breakfast table and waiting for their dad to join them. They would all have breakfast together before John headed to work. Jenny was the oldest. She was 11. Then there was 9-year-old Tara, and the youngest was Brad. He was 6. And, of course, his beautiful blonde wife was there preparing their breakfast.

John was a good Christian man with strong morals and family values. He never drank, smoked, or swore. He made sure the family was at church every Sunday, and everyone had to say their prayers before going to sleep. They all showed the utmost respect to God, and in return, felt blessed by His presence in their lives.

At eight o’clock every morning, John’s partner Max would pick him up to go to work. They had decided to car pool early on as environmental issues were important to them, and it was also a good way to save on fuel costs and catch up on the latest goss before work started. Lately, before they left for work, Max would come in the house and have breakfast with the family. He wasn’t just John’s partner. He was also his best friend and had been so for twenty years. John’s wife and children considered Max a part of their family and so did Max—he was also Jenny’s Godfather.

At eight thirty every morning, John and Max would finally leave the house for work.

John would kiss all his kid’s goodbye, then kiss his wife.

That fateful morning, after he kissed his wife, she said to him, ‘Don’t forget, you have to make sure you’re home by five.’

‘Don’t worry, I will be home,’ John said.

‘I have to leave the house by five. I have to take Tara and Brad to parents’ night at the school, and I won’t be back ’til past eight thirty,’ Amy said.

‘Don’t worry, I will be there. I won’t forget. I promise,’ John said again.

‘Good, because otherwise Jenny will be home alone by herself,’ Amy replied.

‘I am 11. I don’t need a baby sitter,’ Jenny whined. She was getting to that age where she wanted to be her own boss, and she didn’t feel like a child anymore, so she hated it when her parents got her a babysitter or treated her like a baby.

‘I know you don’t, but I will still be here at five on the dot. I’d rather be safe than sorry, and we don’t want to leave you by yourself just yet. You’re still a child,’ John said.

John left the house with a smile on his face. He felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world. On the way to the police station, John and Max would catch up on the latest goss but also talk about the case they were working on, to see if either of them had come up with any leads. John hated child molesters and paedophiles, so he always wanted to talk about those cases. It was his mission in life to bring down every child molester and have them locked up for good. The thought of them sickened him, but it was a part of his job, and